| Arctic barren strawberry plant |
| Hosta stems forming |
| Narcissus |
| Hyacinths |
| Scilla |
| Grape hyacinth |
| Crocuses and alumroot (Coral bells) in front of birdbath and statues |
| Snowdrops |
| Cowslip |
| Forsythia |
| Tulips |
| More tulips and magnolia tree behind them |
| Cherry tree |
| Wisteria blooms forming |
| Bergenia (aka elephant-eared saxifrage or elephant's ears) |
| Snapdragons, rose mallows, pumpkin and zucchini in the greenhouse |
Don't tell me that you love your country if you litter rather than placing your garbage in trash bins. No excuses. Don't bother me with them. You're just lazy in my book.
Don't tell me that you love your country if you insist that it is your right to deface public and private property by tagging your stupid initials onto the walls. It's ugly, you know it's ugly, yet you continue to do it. Teenage pranks? Teenagers will be teenagers? Not in my book. You were brought up wrong if you do such things. I blame your parents for your lack of respect for others and for their property.
Don't tell me that you love your country when you insist on berating those who don't agree with you about politics, religion, etc. I grew up in a country with Christian values, yes, but a country that also has separation of church and state. That means don't foist your religion or cult worship on me. Don't be in my face about it. Keep your mouth shut. That includes the media too, social or otherwise.
Don't tell me that you can do what you want to do without regard for others because you grew up in a free country. With freedom comes responsibility. Commit that to memory. Do something positive for others and for your country because it will help others and your country. Stop always thinking about yourself. Stop being an egoist.
The golden rule is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Don't expect respect and consideration of your feelings from others if you don't respect and consider the feelings of others. I don't want to hear your excuses as to why you can't behave like a civilized human being. Just abide by the golden rule and we'll get along just fine.
I went into this movie, The Salt Path, not knowing it was based on a true story. However, there is some controversy surrounding the book on which the film is based. It is alleged that not all aspects of the story told in the book by Raynor Winn are true. I cannot judge (nor would I do so) whether this is true since I have not read the book nor have I immersed myself in the details of the lives of Raynor and her husband Moth Winn. Regardless, I found the film to be exceedingly moving and heartfelt, mostly due to the performances by Gillian Anderson and Jason Isaacs. Raynor's book about their 630 mile hiking trek along the southwest coast of England (called the South West Coast Path Home - South West Coast Path) following the loss of their home and Moth's diagnosis with a terminal neurological illness is a portrait of perseverance and love in the face of overwhelming obstacles.
Gillian Anderson's and Jason Isaacs' performances are just excellent--understated yet filled with a lot of emotion. They may not say much to each other as they hike along the coast, but they say so much to each other in so many other ways. I found myself thinking about what a long marriage does to you and how it changes you. You learn to read another person via their facial expressions, moods, emotions and silences. You don't have to have long deep conversations to convey an honest message. A nod or the touch of a hand or a hug speaks volumes. That is what came across for me in this movie. Their lives together, their marriage, were about perseverance. Near to the end, Moth says to Raynor that he wants to be cremated when he dies, and he makes a suggestion to her about when she dies that will make you cry, not just because it is sad, but because it expresses his desire for them to be free and together for all eternity. He wants them to soar free like the bird that they have been observing on their long hike. I could intuitively understand his desire not to be encumbered by material things; that in the end, what mattered was the two of them and that they loved each other. Their love is the legacy that they will leave behind.
We lead such ordinary lives, most of us. We are not destined for great things, but if we manage to love our spouses and our families, if we manage to persevere in the face of tribulations, we leave the world a better place. That matters. Life is a challenge, love also. Perseverance is the key to dealing with life's hardships. It helps to have the support of a spouse and/or friends when life seems bleak. It helps.
For most of my adult life, I have been searching for something to 'complete' me. I don't think I really reflected fully upon this while I was working. There were too many projects and deadlines and the like. In my free time, I wrote poetry, and when I look at some of what I wrote circa twenty years ago, I realize that I was searching for connection. Not with people, because that part of my life is fine, but with nature and the earth. That was sorely lacking. I was stuck indoors for most of the workday, five days a week. It's not as though I didn't get outdoors to walk or bike or just enjoy the sunny days that came our way; it's more that I had no personal connection with the earth. I was missing that in my life. It wasn't until I began to garden that I realized what I had been missing.
There is nothing that makes me happier than working with the earth, in the literal sense (planting seeds and plants) and in the figurative sense (aligning myself with what the earth can and cannot give). People talk about mindfulness and how important that is in our age. It is. A garden offers many opportunities for mindfulness, from weeding for several hours to pruning bushes and trees, to watering what you've planted, and finally to harvesting what you've planted (if one has planted vegetables and fruit trees). There are many gardeners who dislike weeding. I am not one of them, although I wouldn't want to do it on a daily basis since it's backbreaking work. What weeding has taught me is patience and perseverance. Weeds persevere; they come back in every which way no matter how often you remove them. They're survivors and they adapt to the conditions around them. I understand that they need to be removed because they choke the life out of the plants they surround and intertwine roots with. I need only think of skvallerkål (ground elder in English, Aegopodium podagraria in Latin). It spreads like wildfire in the garden. But at the same time that I'm removing them, I'm marveling at their ability to survive and spread. I admire that ability in all plants that are designated as weeds. I would not remove them if they were not so invasive and threatening to other plants.
I've written about gardening many times before, but that's because I am ever grateful for a pastime and passion that centers me. The world around me can be literally going to hell in a handbasket, but I am happily oblivious to that when I am in my garden. I am more concerned with what the garden needs to be happy. Most gardeners feel the same way. I know that my own lone voice will not change the world situation at present (many voices can do so, so I understand the need to participate and vote), but once I do my civic duty, I am free to pursue my relationship with my garden. I am free to put my hands in the earth, to see the earthworms moving about in the soil, likewise the little pill bugs that remind me of little armadillos. Little spiders have made their home in my greenhouse, and every now and then they peek out from behind a ceramic pot to see if the coast is clear (is she still here?). I love watching the sparrows chattering, singing and quarreling with each other, or taking common baths in the birdbath. Every now and then my robin friend comes for a visit; I wish he'd stay longer, but I guess he has other gardens to visit too.
My relationship with the earth is multifold. It is with the earth, literally, with my garden, as well as with the life in the garden. I've learned to appreciate all life in the garden, no matter how small. Each living thing has its job to do. It's immensely comforting to know that. Their purpose is by design, and I tend toward believing that it is a divine design. When you look at the intricacies of garden life, how everything is interwoven with everything else, it's hard to believe otherwise.
When I was first starting out in the work world, I had a number of part-time jobs, many of them involving office work. One of the more interesting ones was in Greenwich Village during the late 1970s. I was hired as a stocker and packer to work in the basement of a company that dealt in the buying and selling of magazines and books. I remember the basement job very well because whiffs of natural gas would breeze through at different times during the day. Whether it was a truly safe place to work I cannot say, but I doubt that there were annual inspections of the basement. Shipments would come in and we would pack them out for sorting and registration afterwards. It was a backbreaking job to say the least, but I enjoyed the experience of learning and experiencing what the company did. Private persons would contact the company with offers to sell complete collections of magazines, which then were sold further to libraries and schools and the like. There were many libraries at that time that wanted complete collections of National Geographic, to give one example, and they would contact the company for info about whether we had complete collection(s). We did for the most part.
I don't remember how long I worked in the basement before I was 'promoted' to an upstairs job in the main office. My boss was a middle-aged woman by the name of Terry, and she told me that she wanted me to learn the other side of the business, namely the registration part of the process as well as how to process purchase requests and invoices. I found this side of the business very interesting and was good at it. She treated me very well for someone who was just a part-time employee. I got the feeling that she was hoping that I would stay on and become a full-time employee, but she understood that I had other plans. We often ate lunch at some of the nearby diners and cafes, and she and another woman, who also worked in the office, would tell me about their lives and career dreams. Terry was a pragmatic no-nonsense woman and I liked her immediately. She treated me very well, and also dished out career advice at different points.
I will always remember and have always remembered (in bad times) what she told me one day at lunch. 'No one is indispensable'. What she meant was that no one in the work world was that important that he or she could not be replaced. It was a valuable piece of advice that served me well, especially in the less happy times of my academic career. I call it 'lessons in humility'. I understood that I should never think of myself or what I did for any company as irreplaceable. I learned that I was replaceable. Terry knew it about herself and she imparted that wisdom to me, and I thank her for that and for believing in me.
Nowadays, given the insane behavior of the political leaders running the show (at least in the USA), I think that they should be force-fed this wisdom. For starters, they are replaceable, and they should remember that, but I doubt they even consider that aspect. Some of them are so old that natural death could be responsible for their exit. But more likely, the political system in place takes care of such things. Politicians are voted in and out after a number of years, and thank God for that, even though the same politician (in Congress at least) can occupy the same position for many years. We as a country need to change that. Change will come. But humility should come first. The idea of service to others and to country should come first. Right now it doesn't. But they should remember that 'pride comes before a fall'. Their fall from the lofty heights where they live won't be pleasant for any of them. But it will be necessary since they failed to understand that they are indeed replaceable.
Except that I do get tired after working for many hours in the garden. However, it's a 'good' tired--physical tiredness, always active, never bored, always things to do, moving around, bending and kneeling down--you name it. Way better than to be stuck/trapped in a small office with windows that cannot open fully, as was the case with my former office. I'll take garden tiredness over office tiredness any day
I found this strip on a Facebook site called Happy Gardens . I'm not sure who created it, but I can give credit to Happy Gardens.
'Children should be seen and not heard' is an old adage, several hundred years old, that I came across often in children's books when I was a child. Our parents never used this phrase, but I understand that it probably was used more often in their grandparents' generation. In any case, it speaks for itself. Children should not say much, should 'not speak until spoken to' and should not bother adults.
I remembered this adage yesterday when I had lunch with a friend who was commenting on the behavior of the leaders in her workplace. Her opinion was that there are too many leaders with nothing to do and since they have nothing to do, they have to micromanage their employees. They dissect every little thing, they treat their employees like children who need to be brought up correctly, and they argue and criticize ad nauseam. The readers of this blog know how I feel about most leaders. With some few exceptions, most leaders are not worth their salt and not worth what they're paid. 'To become a leader' is the career goal of many young people, and society accommodates that goal by allowing unprofessional and shockingly unknowledgeable individuals to become leaders. Leadership in and of itself has become a career, a profession. If you've taken leadership courses, the assumption is that you are automatically qualified to be a leader, whether it's of a bank, a hospital, or any other organization that should actually hire leaders on the basis of their professional knowledge of the field. But since the early 2000s, that seems to be a bygone idea. Thus you have the merry-go-round of leaders, who move from leading a hospital to leading a bank to leading a biotech corporation. The key word is that they are 'leaders', that's what's important. This way of thinking has permeated the work world to the point where there are too many unqualified leaders and not enough qualified workers to do the real work. How could there be, when most departmental budgets go to paying the enormously inflated salaries of said leaders. In my former workplace, the end result was that the qualified employees were told by unqualified leaders to strive to work more effectively, as though they hadn't done so before. 'Working more effectively' translates to 'do the work of several people, not just one'. It's just more bullshit to add to the ever-growing pile of bullshit that average ordinary employees are expected to tolerate.
So my twist on the old adage is 'leaders should be seen and not heard'. My friend agreed. It would go a long way toward making her workplace more tolerable. It would be wonderful if most leaders stayed in the background and let their employees do the jobs they were hired to do, without micromanaging and dissecting every little thing they do. It would go a long way toward creating stable and effectively-functioning workplaces. Let employees do their jobs in peace, without having to listen to the endless and monotonous motivational nonsense that permeates modern workplaces. There should be fewer leaders overall; there is no need for most of them if they cannot justify their positions. It's not enough to have the title and salary of 'leader'. You need to know what you are doing in the field that you lead, and you need to step back and get out of the way of your qualified employees. If they need your help or advice, they'll ask for it. But they will not do so of leaders whom they deem to be unqualified for their positions. The title of 'leader' does not automatically qualify you for respect; you have to earn that.
I read this article today and it resonated with me: Older People Are Holding Nothing Back About What It's Really Like To Get Old One of the comments from an older man was the following:
"I have friends and family who like to watch Fox News and get all jacked up. They don't see that they are giving away a huge part of their life to unnecessary bitterness. That sucks. I don't watch the news at all, except the weather. It's my life, and I'll spend whatever time I have being happy. If I can't fix it, then I'm not going to fret over it. Peace is a very valuable thing......."
This. I couldn't have said it better myself. What a waste of life to sit and watch Fox News or any news channel for that matter, 24/7. To be so addicted to anger and bitterness and hype and aggression. To be triggered, like he says, by events in the world that you can do nothing about. Like him, I'll opt for peace any day of the week. I don't need to be that informed. I know what's going on in the world, all of the misery, killing, wars, bombings, etc. I don't need to have continual updates. I don't want them.
And while we're at it, I don't like political extremism of any kind. So while I am not far-right, I am not far-left either. I'm in the middle, always have been, always will be. So kindly leave us alone, us middle-of-the-roaders. Back off, all of you hyped-up, cult-like, aggressive individuals on both sides of the political spectrum. I don't want you or your endless tirades in my life. I don't want to be part of your nonsensical behavior nor do I want to deal with your nonsense. I don't care who you are. Leave me alone.
I saw this yesterday on a pedestrian signal pole and took a photo. Struck a nerve, especially with the world as it is at present......
Today is one of those late-winter days that signal that spring is in the air. When I walked to church this morning, the sun was making its best effort to break through the clouds, and the temperature was around 41 degrees F. Although the sidewalks are still a bit slippery here and there, the snow is melting and if these temperatures continue, Oslo will be snow-free by mid-March. And that bodes well for my return to the garden. I can't wait. As I walked home from church down Telthusbakken street, I remembered back to the mid-1980s when I would travel up to my parents' house by train from my Bronx apartment on a few Easter Sundays, savoring the early spring feeling that permeated the month of March and early April. Spring was in the air. It is that good feeling I remember--the warmth of the sun, the brightness of the colors around me, and the happy feeling that was infectious. It enveloped me. People were happy that winter was over, and on Easter Sunday, New Yorkers were dressed in their finery and milling about, at least in Manhattan. I often took the subway into Manhattan to get the Metro-North Hudson Line train at Grand Central Station so that I could enjoy the train ride up along the river. I still love that train ride all these years later.
These were my thoughts today walking home from church--remembering Easter Sundays all those years ago. Remembering dressing up in dresses from Best & Company when my sister and I were children, and pairing them with the black patent leather shoes that were popular then. And we had to have our Easter hats. I still have one of mine that I use as decoration. A past time when dressing up for church and special occasions was the norm. I treasure those days for the memories of family and a way of living that has passed, but I will say that I no longer really dress up that way because I prioritize comfort now. It's a seldom occasion that warrants fine dresses, stockings and high heels. And it's not these things so much that I miss, it's the time with family, the celebration of Easter and the intimations of spring that I treasure most.
That's what I felt on my walk home today--intimations of spring. I look forward to spring each year. The rebirth of life, birds chirping happily, buds on the trees, and a feeling of permeating happiness. This is what is important to me, in the midst of the trials and tribulations of the world at large. I cannot focus on that world any longer. There is no peace to find there, and it does not seem to me that men in power anywhere truly want or value peace. I sometimes wonder if they ever just step outside and listen—to the birdsong, to the pulse of nature around them. Truly, I wonder. How can someone watch and hear birds searching for mates, driven by the instinct to start families, and then turn around only to wage wars that bring mayhem and destruction? A love for nature and a desire for war cannot coexist. Prioritizing one means deprioritizing the other.
I heard this song the other day and it brought me right back to 1974 when it was first released. I remember singing it as loud as I could when I was by myself. 'Help me' indeed. Which one of us has not had this experience that she sings about--falling in love with someone knowing that it may not last, knowing that the other person is a 'rambler and a gambler and a sweet-talking ladies man?' And yet pursuing the relationship anyway even when we knew it was not likely to go anywhere? When we were young, it seemed so vitally important that we took the relationship opportunities seriously. After all, they might be the only real opportunities for love that would come our way. I remember my brother telling me post-divorce that there were a lot of other 'fish in the sea'. It didn't seem to me to be true at all. That's how many of us thought when we were young and why we made mistakes and continued to make mistakes until we learned. We learned the hard way. Learning the hard way lent itself to a plethora of books written on the subject, about why women choose the wrong men and vice versa. But mostly about why smart women choose the wrong men. They're still doing it in 2026, so the heart is not a smart learner.
In any case, this song's message is timeless:
I started my training session (treadmill) yesterday with this song--Ready to Go by Republica. One of the best songs from the 1990s (released in 1996). Love the song but not the video. The video makes me dizzy what with the zooming in and out, in and out. But having said that, it's a great song to move to. And the others I like to train to have the same kind of driving beat. I've made a playlist and I'll share it in one of my near-future posts. In the meantime, enjoy:
Lyrics
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Andrew Leslie Todd / Samantha Marie Sprackling / Jonathan Edward Male / Timothy Michael Dorney
Ready to Go lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Mgb Ltd., Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Universal/momentum Music Ltd., Tim Dorney Pub Designee, Momentum Music, Notting Hill Music Uk Limited, David Jaymes Associates Limited, Sentient Music Limited
I wish there was a way to bottle the beauty of a place, the beauty that gives one peace of soul. The beauty of the ocean today, staring out at the horizon, watching the waves come in and then crashing against the shore. The beauty of a city that is just that--beautiful at every turn. I wish there was a way of bottling the bright sunshine that warmed us as we sat outdoors eating lunch at La Brocherie. A way of bottling the experience of not having a care in the world, of not having to stress about anything at all. Because God knows we live in a world that is constantly clamoring for our attention, 24/7. There is rarely any peace from the news that invades each waking day. The only thing I want to do while I am here on vacation in Saint Raphael is to walk along the waterfront promenade on the sunny days and watch the children riding happily on the carousel. The carousel is what I remember from the first time I was in this city--an old-fashioned carousel--the kind you would expect to find at Coney Island or other amusement parks in the early 1900s. Indeed, when I googled carousel in Saint Raphael, some links that were returned mentioned that the double-decker carousel 'was probably built in the early 1900s by Gustave Bayol of Angers in France'. Apparently, these types of carousels are not unusual in France. If so, how wonderful. I would love to see more of them in my travels.
As I walk along the promenade, I can 'see' in my mind's eye what this city might have looked like in the early 1900s. It has an old-fashioned feel to it that I love. The promenade as it exists today seems new to me; I don't remember it from the first time we were here (around 2000 or so), but some type of walkway existed. I'm sure people walked along the water or gathered at the hotel restaurants for lunch and afternoon coffee. It's a wonderfully civilized way to live. I could get used to it. This website with its lovely photos will give you an idea of what the city looked like back in the 1920s and 1930s as well as in 2008: Saint Raphaël Promenade Saint Raphaël Visite
Arctic barren strawberry plant Hosta stems forming Narcissus Hyacinths Scilla Grape hyacinth Crocuses and alumroot (Coral bells) in fron...