I heard this song the other day and it brought me right back to 1974 when it was first released. I remember singing it as loud as I could when I was by myself. 'Help me' indeed. Which one of us has not had this experience that she sings about--falling in love with someone knowing that it may not last, knowing that the other person is a 'rambler and a gambler and a sweet-talking ladies man?' And yet pursuing the relationship anyway even when we knew it was not likely to go anywhere? When we were young, it seemed so vitally important that we took the relationship opportunities seriously. After all, they might be the only real opportunities for love that would come our way. I remember my brother telling me post-divorce that there were a lot of other 'fish in the sea'. It didn't seem to me to be true at all. That's how many of us thought when we were young and why we made mistakes and continued to make mistakes until we learned. We learned the hard way. Learning the hard way lent itself to a plethora of books written on the subject, about why women choose the wrong men and vice versa. But mostly about why smart women choose the wrong men. They're still doing it in 2026, so the heart is not a smart learner.
I love these two songs by the Swedish band Dina Ögon, which translates to "Your Eyes" in English. These two songs are from their album that was released this month, entitled Människobarn (meaning Human Child).
Människobarn is the first song, and Margaretas Sång is the second.
Lyrics to Människobarn (Human Child):
Vad, vad, vad är det där du kämpar för?
Vad är det där du kämpar för?
Vad är det du kämpar för?
Du tror du sparkar uppåt, du sparkar ner, ner, ner, ner
Vad, vad, vad är det där du bryr dig om?
Vad är det där du bryr dig om?
Vad är det du bryr dig om
När kärlek och frihet blir till makt och kontroll?
Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?
När du får styra och inte bara åka med
Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?
Det finns inget mer att erövra, inget mer att se
När, när, när kommer du att stanna upp?
När kommer du att stanna upp?
När kommer du stanna upp
Du ger aldrig upp och vänder dig om och ser ner, ner, ner, ner
När, när, när kommer du att ramla ner?
När kommer du att ramla ner?
När kommer du ramla ner
Och faktiskt se hur högt du är, du har redan nått till
Höga toppar
Höga toppar, högt i det blå
Höga toppar (kommer du ramla, kommer du ramla)
Höga toppar, högt i det blå (kommer du ramla, kommer du ramla)
Years ago, I worked with a man at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center who had very little good to say about one of the fifty states in the USA. That state will remain unnamed, but he wondered if there was something in the drinking water that made people behave strangely. Of course he said this in a humoristic way so that no one could take offense, but still. All these years later, his words have come back to me, mostly because I think so many people (mostly men) serving in the highest levels of American government are just plain weird. Is there something in the water that is making these men behave bizarrely? Weird, strange, off-kilter, caricature-like, but definitely of the patriarchal sort. You know the types--the ones who think they know best and are in your face about it 24/7. I've called these types of men dinosaurs in earlier posts, but now I call them the weird last vestiges of a dying race of dinosaurs. And thank God for that.
These are not the men who should lead us further into the 21st century. We should not want them to lead us. And the women who support them are no better. None of these men and women are visionaries, They are mostly boring sycophants. They are not free-thinkers, they are not intellectuals, they are not smart people. They distrust scientific research and the value of firm scientific data. They deny the validity of scientific data. They ignore facts in favor of their own subjective ways of thinking. They parrot back the views, words, and opinions of one conservative television channel in particular, one that is known for dissecting every little thing that the liberal side stands for or utters. They are like carnivores at a kill--tear apart and chew and chomp and spit out the bones and fragments that remain. They are awful people, besides being boring beyond belief. The liberal side is often no better, but they are heads and shoulders above the conservative sycophants.
I don't know what's in store for the country. I only hope that the dinosaurs become extinct soon and that a new age of intelligent animal is ushered in. God knows we need that.
I started my training session (treadmill) yesterday with this song--Ready to Go by Republica. One of the best songs from the 1990s (released in 1996). Love the song but not the video. The video makes me dizzy what with the zooming in and out, in and out. But having said that, it's a great song to move to. And the others I like to train to have the same kind of driving beat. I've made a playlist and I'll share it in one of my near-future posts. In the meantime, enjoy:
Lyrics
Ready to go Ready to go
You're weird, in tears Too near and too far away He said, "Saw red Went home, stayed in bed all day"
Your T-shirt's dish dirt Always love the one you hurt
It's a crack, I'm back, yeah I'm standing on the rooftops shouting out Baby, I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops, shout it out
It's a crack, I'm back, yeah I'm standing on the rooftops having it Baby, I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops, shout it out Shout it out
You sleep too deep One week is another world (Big mouth) big mouth (drop out) drop out You get what you deserve You're strange, insane One thing you can never change
It's a crack, I'm back, yeah I'm standing on the rooftops, shouting out Baby, I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops, shout it out
It's a crack, I'm back, yeah I'm standing on the rooftops, having it Baby, I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops, shout it out Shout it out Ready to go
Abused, confused Always love the one that Hurt ya, hurt ya, hurt ya, hurt ya
It's a crack, I'm back, yeah I'm standing on the rooftops, shouting out Baby, I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops, shout it out
It's a crack, I'm back, yeah I'm standing on the rooftops, having it Baby, I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops, shout it out
It's a crack Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go Baby, I'm ready to go
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Andrew Leslie Todd / Samantha Marie Sprackling / Jonathan Edward Male / Timothy Michael Dorney
I saw this today and wanted to share it with you, because it's how I felt when it was time to leave the work world behind. I had and still have no regrets about leaving/retiring early. Mine was a graceful exit, well-planned ahead of time, thankfully. I knew exactly what I wanted in terms of leaving, and when I wanted to leave. I left right after my last PhD student defended her thesis, and when I could turn over the reins of my biobanking job to another qualified individual. It's best to leave the work world behind with a peaceful and satisfied feeling, and I was able to do that. I did my best, which I defined as the best that I could do in any given work situation. Could I have done better? Probably yes. But I chose to stay within certain limits so that I didn't create excessive stress for myself out of concern for my health. The last decade of my work life was spent focusing on how to make each day a healthy one, because up to that point much of my job was spent sitting at a desk in front of a computer. Focusing on my health meant not overworking or taking on huge projects that I knew would overwhelm me. As it was, I did take on a new and challenging role four years before I retired, but one that I was well prepared for, given my background. So that worked out successfully. It was a good feeling to know that I could still master a new area, but also that I managed to do so within the confines of a normal work week. Gone were the days of working long hours overtime.
When I retired, one chapter of my life was laid to rest, and another one opened--one that I wanted to fill with new adventures. I have managed to do that, despite some health issues this past year. Hopefully I'll be able to put them behind me for good and to focus on what I hope to focus on, more traveling with my good friends and with my husband. This year has started out very well, with a one-week trip to Charleston South Carolina with my two closest friends, and a two-week trip to Saint Raphael France with my husband. I have some ideas about travel plans for next year, among them an Amtrak train trip over the northwest part of the USA. Lots to look forward to! I hope that my friends who are still working will remember to put other aspects of their lives first, because we don't have unlimited time here on this earth. If there are things you'd like to do, if you have a bucket list, prioritize them. But if you love your work above all else, then by all means continue working. I know a few people who will find being retired to be a boring existence. I don't understand it, but it really does take all kinds to make a world.
I wish there was a way to bottle the beauty of a place, the beauty that gives one peace of soul. The beauty of the ocean today, staring out at the horizon, watching the waves come in and then crashing against the shore. The beauty of a city that is just that--beautiful at every turn. I wish there was a way of bottling the bright sunshine that warmed us as we sat outdoors eating lunch at La Brocherie. A way of bottling the experience of not having a care in the world, of not having to stress about anything at all. Because God knows we live in a world that is constantly clamoring for our attention, 24/7. There is rarely any peace from the news that invades each waking day. The only thing I want to do while I am here on vacation in Saint Raphael is to walk along the waterfront promenade on the sunny days and watch the children riding happily on the carousel. The carousel is what I remember from the first time I was in this city--an old-fashioned carousel--the kind you would expect to find at Coney Island or other amusement parks in the early 1900s. Indeed, when I googled carousel in Saint Raphael, some links that were returned mentioned that the double-decker carousel 'was probably built in the early 1900s by Gustave Bayol of Angers in France'. Apparently, these types of carousels are not unusual in France. If so, how wonderful. I would love to see more of them in my travels.
As I walk along the promenade, I can 'see' in my mind's eye what this city might have looked like in the early 1900s. It has an old-fashioned feel to it that I love. The promenade as it exists today seems new to me; I don't remember it from the first time we were here (around 2000 or so), but some type of walkway existed. I'm sure people walked along the water or gathered at the hotel restaurants for lunch and afternoon coffee. It's a wonderfully civilized way to live. I could get used to it. This website with its lovely photos will give you an idea of what the city looked like back in the 1920s and 1930s as well as in 2008: Saint Raphaël Promenade Saint Raphaël Visite
Yesterday was a lovely warm day in Saint Raphael. It seemed as though all the residents of the city made their way to the waterfront to eat lunch and to enjoy the warm sun. The waterfront restaurants were packed and patrons were chatting happily with their families and friends. We settled on eating at an Italian restaurant called La Bocca in Frejus, which was packed with people. Fréjus is the adjacent town to Saint Raphael as you continue walking or driving westward. It was nice to see and experience people feeling happy and relaxed. Our stay here in Saint Raphael has been very relaxing. We've done some sightseeing, but not much. Our days consist of eating leisurely breakfasts, hanging out at home for a while, and then walking to the city center to eat lunch or dinner. We walk along the promenade that borders the ocean, passing a large marina with a supermarket and restaurants, near where we live, and then following the walkway past the rocky and sandy beaches, the numerous palm trees, the resort hotels and apartments, and the many restaurants that line the waterfront. We often eat a mid-afternoon dinner, as the restaurants close after 3 pm. Some reopen for the dinner crowd, but not many, since this is still off-season here on the Riviera. We've done some small souvenir shopping and on our way back, we often stop at the Spar supermarket to pick up some groceries. All told, our daily walking mileage is about 3 miles, which is good for us. If I lived here, I would be out walking on the promenade each day, as many of the local residents do.
People keep to themselves for the most part, but they are friendly when you speak with them. The waiters and waitresses are likewise friendly and service-minded. We've spoken with a few of them and they seem to enjoy their jobs. It's good to see. Many elderly couples own dogs that they walk with along the waterfront; the dogs are having a great time being outdoors and meeting other dogs along the walkway. Yesterday when we walked up to the Basilique Notre-Dame-de-la-Victoire , an elderly man stopped me on the sidewalk to tell me that I was very beautiful, and he repeated that to my husband who nodded in agreement. That made my day, I must say; it's not often I hear that anymore. We got to talking with him, and it turned out that he had been a taxi driver in Paris for over twenty years before he retired to Saint Raphael. He was originally from Portugal and spoke Portuguese, French and some English. We managed to communicate. It was so nice to meet him, and it reminded me of the nice elderly man I met on a Paris subway many years ago, who also chatted with me as best he could in English. When he was getting off the subway, he said how nice it had been to meet me, and then he said goodbye and that he would meet me in heaven. His words have stuck with me all these years later.
I think about all of the nice, friendly and interesting people I have met on my travels in my lifetime thus far. With some few exceptions, my meetings with strangers have been positive, and I am always reminded of how traveling broadens us--our perspective, our look on life, our views of other cultures and people. I am a richer person spiritually and psychologically because of the traveling that I have done. The traveling that I have had the privilege to do. I am grateful every day for this privilege.
Saint Raphael is a lovely small city on the French Riviera (also known as the Cote d' Azur or the Blue Coast) with a population of about 37,000 people. It has a rich history and dates back to Roman times when it was a resort destination for the Romans. We were here for the first time about twenty years ago after we had attended a scientific conference in Montpellier), and I remembered the impression it made on me. At that time, we decided to drive a bit along the Riviera and settled on renting a hotel room for a couple of days in Saint Raphael; the hotel was on the water quite close to a marina. As luck or fate would have it, the apartment that we've rented now for two weeks is right across the street from that hotel. I didn't plan it that way, but I'm pleased with how it worked out. What I remember from my first visit here was that the city had an old-fashioned feel to it that I liked; it wasn't glitzy or clubby like St. Tropez.
Saint Raphael is an idyllic place for so many reasons. It’s the way the city makes me feel as I stroll along its harbor promenades or in the parks by the ocean. When the sun is out, the city’s beauty truly shines (that's often true anywhere in the world). The waterfront buildings and the palm trees scattered everywhere are simply charming. Among the many cities along the Riviera—like St. Tropez, Cannes, and Nice—I prefer Saint Raphael because it’s not overly touristy. It still welcomes visitors, but without the flashy, exclusive vibe of St. Tropez or Cannes, which seem geared toward the wealthy. Saint Raphael feels less commercialized—perhaps that’s the best way to put it.
That idyllic atmosphere creates a peaceful feeling that is often lacking in daily life. Of course some of what I feel is weather-dependent. Every city I've ever visited or lived in in looks lovelier when the sun shines. We arrived here this past Sunday and have enjoyed two sunny blue-sky days and one rainy day. Today is another sunny day and I'm hoping the rest of our stay will have more sunny days, even though rain is predicted for next week. The temperatures don't get much higher at present than about 50 degrees, but that beats hometown Oslo by a mile, where the temperatures are in the teens, much like Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley where I grew up. So even though it is winter here in southern France, it's a comfortable winter. We can walk outdoors in the sunshine for three or four miles each day, something that is difficult in the cold and often icy city of Oslo during the winter. I wish that Oslo would clear its sidewalks in a more efficient way so that everyone could get out and walk during the wintertime. But they don't. It's a crap shoot as to which sidewalks get cleared and which ones don't. So I'll take 50 degrees and clear sidewalks. I don't need much more than being able to walk outdoors to make me happy. On the rainy day we drove to Cannes along the coastal road but didn't stop there, and then drove on to Nice where we walked a bit. We visited the Cathédrale Saint-Nicolas de Nice, the Russian Orthodox Cathedral, which was quite impressive. Nice is a fairly big city and very confusing to drive in. I prefer Saint Raphael as it is more navigable. One day I'd like to return to Nice to explore it, but then I'll live in the city and use public transportation to get around.
I like being surrounded by beauty, the ocean, the crashing waves, the sunlight reflecting off the water. I like watching couples and retirees out walking along the waterfront promenade in the sunny weather. Many of them own dogs of all sizes, who revel in being able to run along the beach or just to walk along the promenade with their owners. I like being able to sit on the mosaic-tiled concrete benches along the promenade to soak in the sun, or watching the musical carousel spin. I like the feeling of not having to do much of anything at all. That's vacation. I'm grateful, as always, for the chance to experience these different places after the health issues I had last year. I take nothing for granted anymore, and so I live in the moment and enjoy each moment to the fullest.
Here are some photos taken during our walks around Saint Raphael:
taken at dusk
a canal where the tide flows in and out during the day
the beach and the ocean
the garden park in front of the apartment complex where we're living
The new year kicked off with a new travel adventure with friends Jean and Maria. Florida has been our go-to destination for the past two years, but this year we set our sights on South Carolina. We decided that Charleston, with its rich history, charm, and reasonably warm weather, would be ideal. We traveled there during the first week of January, and that was a smart move, since the weather in Charleston cooperated with our plans. It was sunny and warm most of the week, with temperatures in the high 60s to low 70s most days. We had no problems traveling there, thankfully, since that can be a problem during wintertime. Nor did I have any problems flying into and out of Newark airport. When I look at how much snow the New York area has gotten this past week, I'm glad I wasn't flying into the area this week as there would definitely have been travel delays or flight cancellations. Additionally, temperatures in Charleston are chillier now compared to the first week in January, and I just saw today that snow is forecast for the Charleston area this coming weekend.
We rented the entire second floor apartment of a charming old southern-style house not far from King Street, which is known for its many shops, restaurants and hotels. The two-story house had side porches on each level that ran the length of the house in addition to a back porch off the master bedroom on each floor. We arrived on a Sunday and settled in. Monday morning found us at a Publix supermarket shopping for a week's worth of groceries. We agreed that we would eat dinner out most nights and we did, with visits to the restaurants Felix, Prohibition, By the Way, and Hyman's Seafood, all of which served very good food, with highlights like crab cakes, shrimp and grits, and grilled salmon, among other dishes. A visit to Charleston is a deep dive into early American history going way back to the Civil War and to the era of slavery in the United States. We explored Fort Sumter, Boone Hall Plantation and Gardens, the Old Slave Mart Museum, as well as the City Market, the French Quarter, and an area of the city called Rainbow Row. We did a lot of walking the first few days but also took a minibus tour around downtown historic Charleston another day. The American Civil War started in Charleston at Fort Sumter, and slavery in South Carolina was widespread. Slaves were bought and sold in Charleston at the site of the Old Slave Mart Museum, which is a sobering reminder of the horrors of slavery.
It would be a good idea for most Americans to learn more about the history of their country. A visit to Charleston will immerse you in one of the more devastating and shameful periods of American history. It's hard to believe that we could have treated fellow human beings the way the slaves were treated. I was reminded of two books about slavery that I have read when we visited Boone Hall Plantation and Gardens and The Old Slave Mart Museum: 12 Years A Slave by Solomon Northup (12 Years a Slave: Solomon Northup: 9781631680021: Amazon.com: Books), and The Invention of Wings (Amazon.com: The Invention of Wings: 9780143121701: Kidd, Sue Monk: Books by Sue Monk Kidd. I can recommend them both, as they made a huge impact on me. You will not soon forget them.
In my next post, I'll include some photos of the places we visited in Charleston.
As promised, and long overdue, here are some photos from our memorable trip to north Norway this past July. I wrote a post about our travels there and posted it on October 26th A New Yorker in Oslo: Travels in northern Norway this past July The photos will follow (more or less) the chronology of our trip.
Nidarosdomen in Trondheim
view of the west coast of Norway from our boat
Our boat--the Midnight Sun (Midnattsol)
Storøya--one of the ports along the route to Tromsø
greenish water in Trollfjorden
the red peaks of the Trollfjord mountains, at midnight
leaving Trollfjord and moving into a blanket of fog
Finnsnes--another stop on the Hurtigruta
Arctic-Alpine Botanic Garden in Tromsø
Arctic-Alpine Botanic Garden
view of Tromsø harbor and the restaurant Skarven (at the end of the road)
The Arctic Cathedral in Tromsø
another view of the Arctic Cathedral
The Cathedral of the Northern Lights in Alta
view of ocean from Alta waterfront
view of ocean from the Alta Museum
rock carvings at the Alta Museum--a World Heritage center
the interior of the Cathedral of the Northern Lights in Alta
