Friday, September 6, 2013

Quotes about infidelity

I suppose I will not be able to post these quotes today without someone wondering what triggered the desire to post them. I would answer that there is a psychology column written in the weekly magazine section of Aftenposten, the Norwegian newspaper. Sometimes I read it, most weeks I skip it. Today however, the column had to do with infidelity, a topic I have some personal and painful experience with from several decades ago (an unfaithful partner in a short-lived marriage). The writer, a ‘married-with-two kids’ young woman in her thirties, had written to the psychologist to tell him about her experience with infidelity. She had seduced a married colleague and according to her, they had experienced a wonderful time together. For reasons that she did not elaborate on, their affair ended. She had no regrets about having seduced this man, who let himself be seduced so he is not off the hook by any means, or about having betrayed her husband, whom she had not told about the affair and with whom she was still having sex. She missed her former lover and essentially stated that she would go to bed with him again in a minute. That was how much she missed him. I read this, and then thought, rather than writing a post and commenting on such a loaded topic, suppose I just go online and see what others have written about infidelity. I can tell you that in my online research, I came upon a book by Suzanne Finnamore, called Split: A Memoir of Divorce. I thought many of the quotes from her book were rather apt. So here are some of her quotes and pithy quotes from others about infidelity.
  • I was steeped in denial, but my body knew.   ― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce
  • I know one thing about men," Bunny says with finality, leaving the room to check on A. They never die when you want them to. ― Suzanne Finnamore
  • Bushwhacked, I examine my hands. Same hands. Rings still there but no longer valid. ― Suzanne Finnamore
  • Someday I will have revenge. I know in advance to keep this to myself, and everyone will be happier. I do understand that I am expected to forgive N and his girlfriend in a timely fashion, and move on to a life of vegetarian cooking and difficult yoga positions and self-realization, and make this so much easier and more pleasant for all concerned. ― Suzanne Finnamore
  • Fuck you for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned. ― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary
  • Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying 'You gave me the wrong key! ― Ana├»s Nin
  • When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you! ― Susan Forward, When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
  • Touch. It is touch that is the deadliest enemy of chastity, loyalty, monogamy, gentility with its codes and conventions and restraints. By touch we are betrayed and betray others ... an accidental brushing of shoulders or touching of hands ... hands laid on shoulders in a gesture of comfort that lies like a thief, that takes, not gives, that wants, not offers, that awakes, not pacifies. When one flesh is waiting, there is electricity in the merest contact. ― Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose
  •  ...there was only one thing that interested her and that was getting into bed with men whenever she'd the chance. And I warned her straight. 'You'll be sorry one day, my girl, and wish you'd got me back'. ― Albert Camus, The Stranger
  • It is a pity he did not write in pencil. As you have no doubt frequently observed, the impression usually goes through -- a fact which has dissolved many a happy marriage. ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Return of Sherlock Holmes
  • Affairs are like a seventh day. They are a break from all duties and obligations and responsibilities. I'm not saying this is right and I'm not saying it lightly. This is just how they are. You can't be responsible when you're with your lover. And since you already know you're way out of line, you go the extra distance. You throw yourself in headfirst. You become the very personification of irresponsible. You are way alive. Every detail sings. It would be a great way to live if it weren't so ruinous.  ― Wendy Plump
  • I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. ― Rodney Dangerfield
  • It had been years since she questioned his fidelity, but he'd stepped on to the old fame track again, and that was where the road had taken them before. Infidelity could be forgiven, but forgetting it was impossible. Strangely, that wasn't what bothered her the most. What bothered her was that she didn't really care. ― Kristin Hannah, Distant Shores
  • Most women think cheating is 'disgusting' … until they fall for a man that likes them back; but isn’t willing to leave his lover for them. ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
  • So the great affair is over but whoever would have guessed, It would leave us all so vacant and so deeply unimpressed, It's like our visit to the moon or to that other star, I guess you go for nothing if you really want to go that far. ― Leonard Cohen

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