I’ve been thinking about how we freely change our lives, and how sometimes life forces us to change. The two are often intertwined. I’ve always been of the opinion that it’s best to make necessary changes freely, rather than be forced to make them. But not all people would agree on that. Sometimes people wait too long to make changes they should have made years previously. It’s hard to say why they waited; fear perhaps, or inertia—just going along with the flow. Sometimes people need to be told when to make a change, and for many, that’s just fine. They’re not so concerned with the why. They end up not having to deal with the angst and indecision that can accompany working toward making necessary changes freely, because angst and indecision are part of that scenario. I’ve known several people who were forced to make changes they didn’t want to make, and they were resentful about it. It would have been better to have suffered through the angst and indecision of working toward making the changes freely. But they were not those types of people. They survived the changes, but the resentment lingered. My point is that if you freely choose change, you will not resent having to make the change. You may regret the change somewhere down the road, but you won’t have resentment.
I moved to
Norway over thirty years ago and changed my life dramatically. I planned the
move well, so that when I arrived here, I had a job waiting for me. That was the most important factor for my
relocating to Norway, having a job that was compatible with my science background.
Looking back on that time, I remember the thoughts and feelings involved. Was I
making the right decision? Would I be able to find a job compatible with my expertise?
Would I be able to tackle a new country, culture, and language? Would I be able
to travel back to NY often to visit family and friends? Would I be too
dependent on my future husband for all my social interactions? And so on. I did
not move to Norway for political refuge; I moved here so that my husband and I
could have the opportunity to develop a long-term relationship with both of us
in one place. A long-distance relationship where both parties are separated by
an ocean is not an optimal experience after a while. My choice to move here
made things easier for my husband, and since I did not have children, I could prioritize my husband’s
priorities. I don’t regret that at all. But now that I have chosen to retire
early, I want to prioritize other things, among them being able to travel to NY
more frequently in order to spend time with my close friends. Life is short and
we don’t have enough time to do all the things we might want to do anyway, so
it’s best to prioritize as best we can and live accordingly. We cannot predict
the future, nor how long our lives will be. A number of co-workers have asked
me why I am retiring early, and some have wondered if I regret my decision
(already?). I give them the reasons above and state unequivocally that I do not
regret making the decision. I’ve had ample time since I gave notice to ‘feel my
way’ forward, and it feels fine. I move into the unknown, but it’s ok. The
unknown is a part of life. Sometimes you need to hop out into it, and see what
happens. Retirement to me is simply a new phase of my life. I look forward to
exploring it.
