Moving away from trendiness

It's strange to admit it, but in a work world defined by new business trends, constant change and the stress of constantly having to adjust, I find myself longing for and retreating to a personal world defined by constancy, predictability, and permanence. My circle of friends has narrowed; I find myself wanting to spend time with my closest and dearest friends. Big parties no longer hold much appeal. I look forward to dinners in quiet restaurants where I can have a decent conversation with my husband or my friends without us screaming to make ourselves heard. Or I look forward to dinners at home, in the comfort of my kitchen. Trendy restaurants no longer hold much appeal for me; they never really did. I don't mind trying them from time to time, but when the bill arrives, I often discover that the meal is overpriced and often not worth it. I find myself thinking that I could have made the meal better myself. I also don't like being forced to buy small meals that I must share with my dinner companions, one of the newer trends at present. I was at one of the new Michelin star restaurants recently with some friends, and we had to buy small meals to share, which I found irritating. We could not purchase a single individual meal. Why do restaurants do this? All it does is make me want to frequent restaurants that focus on serving decent and good food at reasonable prices. If I never step foot into another trendy restaurant, it will be fine with me.

Trendy anything no longer holds much appeal for me. I see no point in following a trend just because everyone else is doing so; I never really did, but earlier I might have paid some attention to them. Now I just ignore trends in general. I have no idea what type of clothing is popular or not; I just buy what I like and what fits comfortably. I bought a pair of bell-bottom jeans a few years ago, and I'm still wearing them (I have no idea whether or not that trend came and went--I like them in any case so I'll wear them until they fall apart). I do follow a lot of new music, but that's because I like all kinds of music, not just what's trendy. I will never go rock climbing, or tandem parachuting, or paragliding, or do any extreme sport. It's fine with me if others want to do these sports, but I won't be doing them. I will ride my bike, hike, or go for long walks. Or you'll find me in my garden, on my hands and knees, weeding or planting. I can spend hours doing that. At work, I do my job, try to think creatively, but in the final analysis, I am who I am--a decent scientist who does the best job she can do with the challenges given her. I step up to the plate and I deliver. If given responsibility, I do something with it and take the job seriously. I expect feedback and a real outcome (don't give me busy work). I'm an old-fashioned worker and an old-fashioned leader. I treat others as I would like to be treated--with respect, fairness, and kindness. I don't play mind games and I'm not interested in keeping others down or in inflating my own importance. I won't foist fancy buzzwords or trendy bureaucracy or leadership jargon on you. I may joke about them and share a laugh with you. I answer my emails, address email recipients by name, and make an honest attempt to really provide an answer or solution to someone's question. I am always surprised when recipients write back to thank me for answering them quickly, for being effective, for giving good advice, and for caring. There is a tone of surprise in their emails, and I am surprised by their surprise, because I was raised to behave this way. This is who I am. It often seems to me that the current business trend as a leader is to constantly inform your employees how busy you are--so busy that you cannot answer your emails, cannot address recipients by name, and cannot provide the answers necessary for your employees to do their jobs. I have gotten emails from leaders that consist of one line, and not even a whole sentence--and they have not addressed me personally. If that's the new trend, then to hell with it.

Getting older has its advantages. You know who you are and just how much bullshit you'll tolerate. You walk away from/advise against the 'hip' ways of doing things when you know that 'tried and true' works just as well. You walk away from 'change for the sake of change'. You listen more and talk less. You continue to listen and learn from others, but you trust yourself more. You know your worth. You are not easily knocked over or knocked down by anyone. You can tell off those who need telling off, make hard decisions when necessary, deal with conflict, and not look back in regret. There's a certain satisfaction in being able to do that, and in trusting oneself.