A New Yorker in Oslo

Sunday, August 27, 2017

A truth about love

"Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding"

Norman Maclean, from A River Runs Through It and Other Stories

Monday, August 21, 2017

Back to the grind

And so it’s back to the grind after five weeks of summer vacation. Back to work after the wonderful freedom of not working. When I was a child in grammar school, I couldn’t wait for summer vacation to be over so that I could go back to school. It’s not that I didn’t like having the time off, it’s just that at some point it felt good to think about preparing for school again. When we were children, our job was to go to school and that was fine with me. I never experienced school as prison, like many of my fellow students. I felt pretty much the same way about high school and college; I enjoyed school and learning and felt privileged to be able to go to school. By the time I got to graduate school however, I was tired of rote education and felt the need to get out and work, to apply what I’d learned. I’ve been in the workforce for nearly forty years now, and most of those years have been interesting, motivating and productive. Motivation has dwindled however in the last five years or so, not because I lost interest in my research work, but because the research system changed into something I no longer recognized, with its emphasis on selling yourself, hyping your ideas, hiring and promoting extroverts, and networking ad nauseam. Since I am not an extrovert, and since I don’t feel comfortable around braggarts or bragging about my own work, I’ve pulled back and become an observer of what goes on around me. It’s been interesting to observe the rise and fall of the show-boaters. I suppose the pendulum will eventually swing back toward the middle, where it will be ok again to do your research work quietly, efficiently and well. I long for those days to return, but I doubt that they will before I retire. And that’s quite ok too. I’ve had a good run and it’s time for the younger scientists to take over. I have accepted this, but it’s actually interesting and somewhat humorous to see that others haven’t accepted this—I am still mentoring students, still running into the lab to answer questions, find something in the refrigerator, check out a lab procedure, and so forth. I no longer have funding for lab consumables, so I make do by utilizing antibodies and tissue sections that were bought and prepared several years ago. Who knew that I would be able to see into the future then and prepare for the drought? I was smart enough to prepare and it has paid off somewhat in the sense that I am not completely bereft of lab consumables. I just cannot purchase new ones, and the likelihood of getting funded at this point in time is slim. But as people say to me, ‘never say never’, even though deep down I hold out little hope of further funding.

So I look forward to retiring and only wish I could do so now instead of having to wait another three years. Three more years of grant application rejections, three more years of research article rejections, three more years of remaining patient in the face of a stupid uncaring system. Three more years of futile salary discussions in a system that has no budget to give its employees a lift (because most of the money is being used to pay the exorbitant salaries of the leaders who abound about us like rabbits). They multiply three-fold each year. We’re up to six levels of leadership now and I don’t have a clue as to what any of them do each day. Three more years of braggarts, of researchers with huge amounts of funding who don’t have a clue as to how the other half lives. I tell people the truth—I have no funding, zero, zip, nada. That’s how it goes, and I’m fine with it. I only wish I could exit stage left now.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

New York summer

I recently spent some time in the States visiting family and friends, traveling in Pennsylvania (right over the NY State border) and in New York. It occurred to me as I was writing this post that I used nearly all forms of transportation on this trip--plane, bus, train and car, just not a boat. I spent the first part of my trip in the Milford area in Pennsylvania (took a bus from the Port Authority bus station in Manhattan to Milford) visiting my sister and her husband. Milford PA is a lovely town with about a thousand residents--small town Americana--and is definitely worth visiting. It is not far from the Delaware River and the NY State border. I stayed at the Hotel Fauchere (http://hotelfauchere.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyLSX-8bl1QIVF5SyCh0uQwOCEAAYASAAEgK4JPD_BwE) and can highly recommend it. My sister and I spent a day driving around the Milford area and through the small towns of Barryville, Narrowsburg, Kauneonga Lake, Bethel, and Middletown in New York--a lovely area in southwest NY State near the Delaware River bordering Pennsylvania. I then took a train from Port Jervis NY (about a fifteen-minute car ride from Milford) back to Manhattan. The Port Jervis train line passed through some lovely towns in NY State (Tuxedo comes to mind). Port Jervis is also a nice small town on the Delaware River, itself a very picturesque river. The train pulled into Secaucus NJ, where we disembarked, and then got on another train that took us to Manhattan's Penn Station. I met my cousin Karen for a very pleasant evening in Manhattan, which was extremely crowded with tourists the night we were there (I'm sure the lovely weather helped). We ate at a Korean barbecue restaurant in the Korean section of the city, stayed overnight, then the following day I took the train from Grand Central Station to North White Plains where I picked up a rental car and drove to the Doubletree Hilton Hotel in Tarrytown. While in Tarrytown, I got together with some high school friends for dinner at Sunset Cove restaurant on the Hudson River, spent one day pleasantly wandering around Tarrytown and down memory lane with my friend Stef from childhood, and then spent another day with my friend Laura from high school wandering around the Lyndhurst estate. I then drove to Saratoga Springs to meet my friends Jean and Maria; Jean's family had rented the Haywood House in Saratoga Springs overlooking Lake Saratoga, and we enjoyed a couple of days there, before returning to Jean's house for the remainder of my visit, which is where I always love to be at the end of my visits to NY. I also visited a friend who is sick with a debilitating illness, and it was good to see her as it always is. Even though she is handicapped now, her sense of humor persists, as does her beauty. As always, my trip flew by too fast, but I have the wonderful memories to keep me going until next year's visit. I hope to be able to spend more time in New York in a few years when I retire. I am looking forward to that.

restaurant in the town of Kauneonga Lake

Lake Kauneonga

my sister's garden

the lovely Delaware River photographed from the Port Jervis NY side

the lovely Hudson River photographed from Rockwood Hall State Park

an annual cicada at Rockwood

the almost-completed new Tappan Zee Bridge photographed from Sunset Cove restaurant

the lovely rose garden at the Lyndhurst estate

a view of Lake Saratoga

Lake Saratoga at dusk

the historic Haywood House in Saratoga Springs

the Hudson River photographed from the Boscobel estate in Garrison NY (you can see West Point academy top right)

the always lovely Tarrytown Lakes--we used to ice-skate here in winter when we were children

Saturday, August 12, 2017

A good song for summer 2017

Haven't posted in a while because I've been away on vacation.....Heard this song for the first time tonight. Catchy song, good rhythm, one you can sing along and dance to. What more do you need from a good song? Calvin Harris does it again--the man with the Midas touch. The song is called 'Feels' and features Calvin Harris, Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry and Big Sean.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Remembering my father on his birthday

Today, July 25th, is my father's birthday, as well as the birthday of my cousin and my good friend from childhood. Had my father still been alive, he would have been one hundred years old next year. But generally, I never think of people just in terms of their age. My father is not a centenarian in my memory, he is my ageless father--a kind man, a smart man, a civilized man, a WWII veteran, a good father and husband. He kept his faith alive throughout his entire life and nurtured it by reading spiritual literature. He was loyal to his birth family and loyal to his wife and children. He did what it took to keep us clothed and fed and safe. That was what men did in my father's generation. They took care of their wives and children. They took that responsibility seriously, and my father was no exception. He was about as far from a narcissist as you could get. I cannot for the life of me picture him running around with a smart phone in his hand, checking his email or Facebook every hour or so, or posting selfies. I can just picture his pithy comments about modern society's cell phone addiction. He would never have gone down that road. He would rather have picked up a good book and devoted his hard-earned free time to reading. His comments always made me think, and still do. I often wonder what my father (and mother) would have done in certain situations that I face. My mother always said 'pick your battles'. My father might have said 'why battle at all'. He preferred the peaceful approach if it could be had. I admire him for that. After all, he saw what war could do to people and I'm sure he saw things he would rather not have seen. His heart and soul remained intact, as did his gentle spirit. I miss him today and every day, as I miss my mother. They are forever a part of me.

Update on our garden--July 2017

It hardly seems possible that we've nearly reached August. It feels like gardening season has just begun. We put up the greenhouse in late April, and spent some time organizing and arranging it as documented in an earlier post (https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.no/2017/04/this-years-garden-project-greenhouse.html). May, June, and July seem to have flown by. There are now six pots with tomato plants in the greenhouse that are doing well and starting to produce tomatoes. The tomatoes are still small and green, but I have high hopes that in a month or so we'll be able to try eating one. The two cucumber plants are flowering but have not yet produced cucumbers, whereas the chili pepper plant is producing a lot of small peppers.

In the garden itself, the corn plants are growing tall and straight and appear to be quite healthy; ditto for the three different types of pumpkins I planted this year--two French varieties and a Jack-o-Lantern variety. The pumpkins now have vines that are spreading happily in every direction, just like last year. Some of them have produced very small pumpkins already. It remains to be seen how fast the pumpkins will grow and mature. Last year at this time the pumpkins were a bit further along. I also planted three different kinds of string beans--standard green beans, asparagus beans, and dwarf beans. If you ask me, they're all variations on a theme; the type that stands out is the one with a mottled appearance, but otherwise they all taste pretty much the same--good. The snap peas are also doing very well, and have produced a lot of edible pods, also good.

The sunflower plants have grown tall and straight and I hope they'll stay that way as the summer progresses. One never knows, especially if a very windy storm comes along. My flower garden looks lovely--a combination of lavender plants, a butterfly bush, pink and purple Salvia, marigolds, hollyhocks, chrysanthemums, among others--and under the dead cherry tree that is covered in wild ivy, I've planted Heuchera plants (lovely perennials in gold, green and red colors) as well as daisies.

I love watching the garden grow a little bit more for each day that passes. Generally I just love being in the garden. There is always something to do--weeding, transplanting, cutting the grass, pruning, fertilizing, watering, or just puttering. The greenhouse has all the tools and accessories needed for doing all these things. Here are some recent photos from one of the wonderfully sunny days we've had: