Quotes about cowardice and complicity

I think that cowardice and complicity often go hand in hand. If we accept injustice toward others and bullying of others in silence and do nothing to counter these behaviors, we are complicit in the behaviors via inaction. It's easy to look the other way, to excuse ourselves from taking a stand, out of cowardice and fear. Fear of retaliation, fear of getting involved, fear of having to take a stand, fear of sticking our heads 'above the radar', fear of stepping outside of our comfort zone and giving up a comfortable life generally. Complicity is fueled by moral laziness, as is cowardice. If we don't take a stand against injustice, we are complicit in that injustice and also cowardly for not taking a stand. But it's not easy to stand up for what is right and no one ever said it would be. There is a lot to lose. But living with yourself as the years go by becomes harder and harder, when you are faced with your moral laziness. I often think of the apostles who followed Jesus; they acted cowardly when he needed them to be there for him. We are more often like them than unlike them. 

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 The seven deadly sins should be updated. We should add an eighth sin: Cowardice.

--Gad Saad

Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous to this country as irresponsible talk.--Margaret Chase Smith

Alas, nothing reveals man the way war does. Nothing so accentuates in him the beauty and ugliness, the intelligence and foolishness, the brutishness and humanity, the courage and cowardice, the enigma. --Oriana Fallaci

Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expediency asks the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? But conscience asks the question, is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right.--Martin Luther King, Jr.

The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.--Rollo May

Fear has its use but cowardice has none.--Mahatma Gandhi

To be silent is to be complicit.--Richard Edelman

If you're governor of a state, and you have nothing to say when the president attacks the people that you represent, you are complicit.--J. B. Pritzker

I learned about injustice young. That I had a duty to not be complicit, to not turn the other way.--Ashley Biden

While admiring the pleasing evidence of wealth, we become complicit in - or, at the very least, recognize the extent to which we, too, are beneficiaries of - an economic system we routinely deplore.--Geoff Dyer

Reminders that the world around us is not just chaos, aggression, and meanness

 

Complainers

I can relate to Goat in Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis. I so dislike that people complain and have no solutions to the problems they're complaining about. The reality is that some people just like to complain, to hear themselves talk. The worst thing about it is that they often manage to rile up everyone around them about the problem at hand, while they go on their merry way, as though they had never complained at all. 

Taking a break from the world's insanity and inanity

The current world situation is often unbearable to witness and to listen to. One gets tired of listening to the same hot-air clowns lecture the rest of us each day on some topic of little to no importance except to them. And they are clowns, make no mistake about it, except that their stupidity is a danger to us all. 

How to deal with the malignant stupidity around us? Sometimes we need to take a break from it all. The insanity and the inanity of the world will be there when we get back from our break. But we need to prioritize our physical and mental health. 

Kitbull--a little pearl of a film

I discovered this short animated film from 2019 only recently, and I fell in love with it. Kitbull. Sad story but with a happy ending, just the kind of stories I like, especially in these times. These are the kinds of films children (and adults who need a crash course in how to behave) should watch, because they go a long way toward creating empathy. Thank you to the creators at Pixar who made this little film. 

https://youtu.be/-hOYcTfEbGs?si=eGFwPLOpGX8iIxfC

Curiosity

The word 'curiosity' makes me curious about the actual word. What is its derivation and what does it mean? Curiosity derives from the Latin cūriōsitās, from cūriōsus "careful, diligent, curious", akin to cura "care") (Wikipedia). 

When we say that someone is curious, we usually mean that he or she is eager to know something about, to learn about, an object, person, or happening in his or her life. When we say that people have curiosity, we mean that they are interested in and invested in the life around them. They are eager to learn, to know, to explore, to experience. They want to know the whys and the hows involved in certain processes. They want to know why people behave in certain ways. They want to understand the meaning of this life, even though they know that this is the most difficult challenge of all. They don't shy away from the unknown; they investigate it and make it a part of themselves. They expand their inner lives, their spiritual lives, in order to do so. 

Curiosity is held up as a positive thing as one gets older. There is a lot of talk about retaining one's  enthusiasm for learning and for waking up each day wanting to experience all that the day has to offer. Curiosity provides a meaning and a purpose for a well-lived life, whether it means picking up a new book, finding a good film or tv series, going to a concert, discovering a new hobby (like gardening), trying a new recipe, finding a new travel destination, finding out how to be of service to others. The list is long. 

I think curiosity is whatever 'sparks' you. It's what keeps you motivated and what gives you the desire to keep going. Because each day is different, unlike the one before, even though people who say they are bored say that all the days are alike. They aren't. Bored people are missing the opportunities that each day has to offer. There are a myriad of possibilities for things to do and experience in the course of a day. I think I learned this as a scientist; a scientist's job is to explore and to test the unknown. Rarely does a scientist start an experiment knowing what the outcome will be. Curiosity is part of being a scientist, and when I look back on my career, I am very glad that I chose to be a scientist. I may no longer work as one, but scientific curiosity is a huge part of who I am and is likely to remain so. 

I can truthfully say that I am rarely, if ever, bored. There is simply too much to do and experience in this life, and I know that I will never experience all of the things I want to experience. I have a list of books that I want to read that is a mile long. Ditto for films. There are travel destinations I will never get to. I don't live my life anxious about any of this. I look forward to exploring a new city or country. I know that each day is something to look forward to, and I plan ahead in a realistic way. My brain enjoys multitasking; it can savor each new day and plan for a trip or a social event or meet-up with friends at the same time that I am making breakfast. I look forward to the planning and the trying-out of new experiences, and they can be as simple as making a new type of bread. I am grateful for life in all of the ways it presents itself. 

Two really cool recent dreams

Two of my recent dreams have fascinated me, if only because I have never dreamed like this before. Of course I was interested in their interpretations. I have been interested in dream interpretations since the early 2000s, when my friend Gisele introduced me to the writings of Edgar Cayce, a clairvoyant who examined the hidden meanings in dreams. Normally I dismiss such things since I am a born sceptic. But there was something about Cayce that intrigued me enough to not dismiss him as a quack. 

My first dream took me back to college days and to a large party with many unknown people. My husband and I were there. As always in dreams, you are suddenly someplace else, and I ended up in a long hallway in one of the college buildings. I was in a seated (yoga-like) position, but not sitting on the ground. I was rather floating/gliding along the hallway. I remember looking at my hands, and there was light flashing from my fingers. The sense of amazement that I felt was tangible. I had no idea where I was headed, but the experience was very relaxing and not at all frightening. I searched online for an interpretation of this dream, and this is what was returned from the AI overview, which in and of itself is just as cool as the dream: 

AI Overview

Dreams about gliding down a hallway while light flashes from your fingers are rich with symbolism, often pointing to a surge in personal power, transition, and spiritual or creative awakening.

Here is what these powerful dream symbols typically mean:

🌟 1. Light Flashing from Your Fingers (Manifestation and Power)

In dream psychology, hands and fingers represent your ability to manipulate your reality, create, and take action.

• Creative Energy: Flashing light suggests you have a powerful spark of inspiration or a breakthrough idea waiting to be expressed.

• Personal Power: You are realizing your own agency. It symbolizes a feeling of being "electrified" or capable of directing energy, solving problems, or bringing clarity to a situation.

• Spiritual Awakening: Light emanating from the body often represents heightened intuition, consciousness, or a deep alignment with your higher self.

2. Gliding Along a Hallway (Transition and Flow)

Hallways are classic symbols of transition, moving from one phase of life, mindset, or project to another.

• Effortless Progress: Walking suggests labor, but gliding implies that you are moving through a transitional period with grace, ease, and a sense of detachment from standard limitations.

• Lack of Grounding: Sometimes, gliding or floating indicates you are relying heavily on your intellect, spirit, or imagination, and might need to bring your focus back down to earth.

• Exploration of the Subconscious: Passing doors in a hallway can represent exploring hidden memories, untapped talents, or future opportunities.

🔄 Putting It Together

Your dream suggests that you are navigating a period of transition with immense creative energy and confidence. You aren't just walking through this phase of life; you are moving through it smoothly, carrying a powerful force of insight or creation right at your fingertips. You have the tools and the clarity within you to light your own path forward.

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The second dream was equally fascinating. I was standing in a large open field and there was an atom with orbitals (shells) floating near my head, Using my index finger, I was able to touch the orbitals, thereby distorting the circles. They were fluid-like, so that touching them with my finger induced waviness. I remember the amazement at being able to do that. I studied physics and quantum chemistry for one semester each in college. This picture of an atom with orbitals is about what I remember from both courses. It's safe to say that I do not understand either field. 

The AI overview of this dream was quite intriguing. This was the answer I got:. 

That is a fascinating and deeply visual dream! Dreaming about using your finger to distort atomic orbitals blends the subatomic world of quantum mechanics with a powerful sense of personal touch and manipulation.

In physics, atomic orbitals—like the sphere of an \(s\) orbital or the figure-eight of a \(p\) orbital—are not solid objects. They are mathematical probability clouds showing where an electron is likely to be.

Here is what your subconscious might be playing with in a dream like this:

🔬 The Symbolism of the Dream

• Bending Reality: Orbitals represent the fundamental building blocks of matter. Distorting them with a single finger suggests a subconscious desire for extreme control, influence, or creativity over your environment or a complex situation in your waking life.

• Making the Invisible Visible: Quantum mechanics is famously abstract and impossible to see with the naked eye. Your dream brought the microscopic world into the macroscopic realm, meaning you might be trying to grasp, visualize, or solve a highly abstract problem right now.

• The "Observer Effect" Made Literal: In quantum physics, the act of observing or interacting with a system changes its state. Your dream took this concept literally—your physical touch directly warped the quantum state of the atom.

🌌 Visualizing the Distortion

If you were to actually warp an orbital, you would be changing the energy states of the electrons. In a macro-world visualization, it might look like pulling and stretching a glowing, fluid-like cloud of neon light, forcing the electron probabilities to bunch up where your finger pushes, creating beautiful, irregular geometric ripples.

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So there you have it--two equally fascinating dreams with symbolism that is entirely new to me. Neither dream was unpleasant, rather, both intrigued me and made me curious about what they could mean. Of course, they could just reflect the abstractness of the workings of the mind, but in any case, I'd love to dream more about being able to glide along a hallway, to fly of my own accord (I've had dreams that I could fly since I was a child), and to change the course of direction with a single touch. Almost like magic. 

Well-said

I couldn't have said this better myself.......

 

Self-absorbed people

Apropos my last post, I got to thinking about people who are very wrapped up in themselves, totally self-absorbed (narcissistic), oblivious really to the goings-on in others' lives. These are the kinds of people who rarely ask you how your day went, how your trip abroad was, what you think about this or that. They listen only superficially to what you have to say. And they are rarely able to show any sort of gratitude for a gift, advice, or moral support. They react casually to most things, dismissive almost. When you are together with them, you feel unimportant and excluded at the end of an evening together. Obviously these are not good friends or family members and it would be a mistake to think of them in that way. Mostly you can choose not to deal with them or to avoid them. But not always, for example, work situations where such people are your leaders and/or colleagues. 

These people don't understand the meaning of generosity of spirit, of warmth, of kindness, or of civility. They don't understand themselves and their own needs, because if they did, they'd be warmer and kinder because they would want to be treated with warmth and kindness. Some of these kinds of people are just plain stupid; they lack the self-introspection that would allow them to see their own shortcomings. They're not interested in changing or acquiring an introspective spirit. These are people one can choose to avoid in personal and social situations; it's more difficult in work-related situations. 

Choose wisely

The FB page Buddhism has suddenly appeared in my feed. Normally I don't pay much attention to extraneous sites, but this one caught my eye because it feels 'real'. Or at least it presents truthful content to which I can relate. I especially like any content that advises you to walk away from toxic situations and/or people. Always a good reminder. There's no changing them and it's best to care about yourself in the sense of keeping your sanity and moral clarity. Someone asked me recently if you always choose to walk away from such situations or people, if that will lead to not caring about them at all. I answer no. You can always make the decision to care about toxic people, but you do not need to subject yourself to their toxicity. You can wish them well and go on about your own life, unencumbered by their negativity. And by negativity, I mean extreme negativity, the kind that demoralizes and immobilizes you. That type of negativity is soul-crushing and ultimately life-crushing. 

 

The top 1% and wealth

Another good one from my favorite cartoonist. 

Food for thought.......

Why is it this way, and how did it get this way?

Visiting the Ramme Fjordhotel

Our autumn trip this year took us to the Ramme Fjordhotel in Hvitsen, about a forty-minute drive from Oslo (Ramme Kulturdestinasjon og Fjordhotell | Unike Hoteller Hvitsten). Hvitsten is a small coastal village located on the Oslo fjord. We arrived mid-afternoon on a Friday and left around noontime on Sunday, so we had ample time to explore the grounds, which include a beautiful Baroque-style garden (Havlystparken), cafe and giftshop/farm shop that sells eggs and seasonal vegetables, restaurant/bar, and Edvard Munch's villa down by the water. The latter is a short walk from the hotel. As luck would have it, we had lovely weather the weekend we were there, conducive to walking around and exploring. 

What impressed me most was the garden; it was one of the reasons I wanted to visit Ramme Fjordhotell. It was dotted here and there with intriguing sculptures, ponds and fountains, and lovely arrangements of flowers and trees. There was also a vegetable garden that had an entire patch devoted to the cultivation of asparagus. I finally got to see what full-grown asparagus plants look like (I've planted three in my own garden). They grow quite tall and feathery, and they spread out. I can't wait until mine look like the ones I saw in the Havlystparken. We've decided to visit the garden again in the spring when the many rhododendrons are blooming. 

Some photos from the Havlystparken:

asparagus patch

   

Photos from my September NY trip

 

Display in front of DeCicco and Sons in Tarrytown NY

Tarrytown lighthouse

harbor in Kingston NY

Kingston-Rhinecliff bridge

Esopus Meadows lighthouse 

the Culinary Institute of America (CIA)

Burrito

Manhattan skyline at night

Statue of Liberty

statue near the Warwick Hotel 

another statue near the Warwick Hotel

Hertz rental and PlatePass--not a good experience

I normally rent a car via Hertz when I am in New York. For one thing, it's easy to pick up and drop off the rental car at the rental office in North White Plains. The office is located right across the street from the Harlem Line train station. I've been renting a car at this office for many years now, after I decided to stop picking up and dropping off the car at Newark airport. It became too stressful to drive from and to the airport and stressful to find the drop-off location at the airport. 

My rental experience this time around was not completely problem-free as you'll soon see. A few days before I was to travel, I was informed in an email to pick up the car at the Westchester County Airport rather than the North White Plains office due to Labor Day (September 7), which meant that the North White Plains office would be closed for the holiday. This was fine except that I had to first take a train to White Plains and then take a cab to the Westchester County airport instead of just getting off a train at North White Plains and walking across the street to the rental office. This was an extra incurred cost of approximately $30. The service agent at the airport was friendly enough. I picked up the car in the parking lot and drove out, only to notice that the gas tank was 3/4 full, not full. I was already on the road by then, so I pulled over and took a photo of the gas tank indicator on the dashboard. I had already paid $67.46 for the Fuel Purchase option. When I returned the car on September 21 and talked to the agent at the North White Plains office about this, she told me to take it up with Billing. She was not very helpful. My definition of good service would have been that she could have deducted the price of ¼ of a tank of gas right then and there. But no.

The rental price for the car for two weeks, booked through Booking.com, was very reasonable. But lo and behold if I didn’t get a bill via an September 25th email for $475.86. This was the charge for using ‘Plate Pass’. This was the email message I received: 

Hertz utilizes a service called PlatePass which allows its customers to use cashless lanes or all- electronic tollways without using a personal transponder or paying the toll authority directly. Our records indicate you declined the PlatePass All-Inclusive tolling option at the start of your rental, but during your rental you activated the transponder device affixed to the car windshield and incurred tolls. As a result, you owe the PlatePass All-Inclusive rate as applicable to your rental period. With PlatePass All-Inclusive, you will not be charged tolls and no additional charges will apply if new tolls are received from toll authorities relating to this rental agreement. 

As far as I can remember, the Plate Pass was pulled out once during my two-week rental to pay for the toll going over the Tappan Zee Bridge, by a passenger in my car. Do you mean to tell me that I am to pay $475.86 for using the transponder once? Is this company insane? This is highway robbery and I am planning to report Hertz to the Better Business Bureau. Of course I will gladly pay all the tolls incurred during my two-week rental, but I am hoping that Booking.com will take this up with Hertz to get this charge dismissed. This is the craziest and greediest behavior I have ever experienced--pure unadulterated ripoff. The sad thing is that I have been renting via Hertz for many years. This is the first time that I have had problems with them or experienced poor customer service. It’s very unfortunate and does not bode well for future rentals with this company. 

New York in my heart, for always

My annual trip to New York this year started in Manhattan, where I met Cindy, a college friend, on the first weekend of September (5-6). We stayed at the Warwick Hotel in midtown, one of our favorite hotels in NYC. As luck would have it, the weather cooperated with our plans, which included a jazz cruise on the Hudson River (leaving from Chelsea Piers) and attending the musical Schmigadoon. The jazz cruise was quite enjoyable, and moving--especially when we drove past the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. This at a time in the USA when it doesn't seem that immigrants are particularly welcome anymore. I thought about my paternal grandparents who came from Italy in the early 1900s and who made a life for themselves, first in Brooklyn and then in Tarrytown, New York. They never returned to visit Italy, which must have been quite sad for both of them. Cindy and I also got tickets to see the musical Schmigadoon which spoofs on other musicals like Brigadoon and Oklahoma, but that is also quite touching in its own way. I can recommend both the cruise and the musical. 

The following week included visits with my sister Renata and her husband Tim and their new dog--Burrito, as well as visits with good friends Maryann and Gordon from my Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center days, and with Stef, a good friend from childhood. The weekend of September 12-13 was spent with Judy, my good friend from high school, and her two sisters Betty and Joan. We drove up to Hyde Park, NY on Saturday to visit the Culinary Institute of America, where we ate a very good lunch and enjoyed a food tasting event and a tour of the institute. On Sunday, we managed to visit Springwood, Franklin D Roosevelt's summer home on the Hudson River, and Val-Kill, Eleanor Roosevelt's place of business and eventual home located a short distance away from Springwood, across the main road. Both are national historic sites. I've written about FDR's home before in a 2016 post: A New Yorker in Oslo: Making memories--two weeks in the States  Visiting Val-Kill 'completed' the story of the Roosevelts for me. FDR and Eleanor were a good political team; their marriage endured a number of infidelities, but they supported and defended each other and had each other's backs. On Monday, the four of us took a 1.5 hour boat trip on the Hudson River that departed from Kingston, NY. We had lovely weather and managed to see the Esopus lighthouse as well as some Gilded Age estates along the Hudson River. 

I then visited with Jola, another good friend from my Memorial Sloan-Kettering days, and we spent our time together talking, catching up, eating some good lunches and dinners, driving around Tarrytown, and visiting Untermyer Park and Gardens in Yonkers, NY, which I have written about before (A New Yorker in Oslo: Two gardens worth visiting--Untermyer Gardens and the New York Botanical Garden). And then I made my way to Jean's house (I call it my second home), where I always end my NY vacations. Jean and I go way back to high school; we have a lot of shared history and are very close friends. Maria, another close friend from childhood, came down for the four days I was there, and we hung out together, eating, talking up a storm (Jean calls it incessant gabbing), and having fun. We've settled on a visit to St. Augustine in Florida for this coming winter's annual trip. St. Augustine has history, culture, and relaxing beaches. Our trips together have become something to which we really look forward. The major consideration is the weather, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that snow and/or bitter cold won't throw any major wrenches into our plans. 

Of course, no trip of mine would be complete without a snafu here or there! This time it was a major circuit break/cut in the cables that control the air traffic control grid for the NYC airports. All flights were cancelled at Newark, La Guardia, JFK, Teterboro, and Philadelphia airports on the afternoon of Monday September 21. My flight back to Oslo on SAS was cancelled, but SAS did manage to rebook me on a later flight (United) to Brussels (they worked quickly and efficiently to rebook me). Their hope was probably that by the time the plane left for Brussels (8:30 pm), that the circuit would have been fixed (it was). But nothing was certain and I booked a hotel room at Newark Airport just in case. A shout out to the Howard Johnson hotel at the airport for kindly refunding my money; they could have been sticklers for the regular routine of not allowing customers to cancel unless it was 24 hours prior to arrival. They made an exception for me and I thank them. 

I'm also glad that I arrived and departed New York when I did. This weekend would have been a messy affair to put it mildly--storm, wind, rain, and flooding. A Nor'easter that traveled up the East Coast of the USA, wreaking a bit of havoc and leaving a real mess in its wake. A lot of rain and flooding as far as I can see from the news reports. There would have been no boat trips and very few outdoor activities had I been there this weekend. So the weather gods were with us earlier in September!

Although traveling can be tiring and sometimes unpredictable, I love it. I love the expectation of new adventures as well as the emotional constancy of visiting with close friends and family. I have said it before but I'll say it again--I am forever grateful for the wonderful friends who grace my life. I will continue to travel until I am no longer able to travel. It would have to be poor health only that would stop me from seeing those I love. In my next post, I'll include some photos of the places we visited on this trip. 

Never forget

I remember where I was on 9/11 in 2001. I remember a colleague running into my lab to tell me that there had been an attack on the World Trade Center in NYC. I was beside myself after hearing that news. I was not in the USA at that time, like I was this year. I’m glad I was in NY State this year to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the attacks on the Twin Towers. This video of the drones recreating the Twin Towers brings me to tears every time I watch it. It is incredibly beautiful and poignant. 

https://youtube.com/shorts/2CDs-Vt9wUA?si=2192fUaX83YHpb_r

Rest in peace, Wendell Berry (1934-2026)

 

More about Ad orientem

I have looked further into the Ad orientem issue and understood that it has been quite controversial for quite some time. Apparently the Ad orientem format is traditionally preferred because it forces the congregation to focus on the actual celebration of the mass and not on the priest who is saying the mass. It is supposed to be more reverential. I had never thought about this before and in truth I've never particularly focused on the priest who says mass except when he steps into the pulpit to deliver his sermon. 

I'm including some links in this post so that you can read more about it if you are so inclined. 

Facing the People, or Facing the Altar? | Catholic Answers Magazine

Ad Orientem – Immaculate Conception Catholic Church

Why is Ad Orientem worship so controversial?

I retain my opinion--that I prefer the Versus Populum format of the liturgy, where the priest faces the congregation while saying mass. I understand that Ad orientem is the historical and long-practiced way of saying mass. It doesn't change my viewpoint. 

If we are first going to choose tradition and take up this priestly orientation again in order to promote reverence and avoid distractions, then my suggestion is to go further and ban the use of guitars and all other musical instruments except the use of the organ in church. I would also ban the singing of modern songs/hymns and focus only on the time-honored traditional hymns that we grew up with (and that many people got tired of--not me). I would ban musical groups from performing in church at Easter and Christmastime. I would ban singing altogether with the exception of church choirs that sing only traditional church music. We did not have musical groups performing prior to Vatican II, so they are not necessary to the celebration of mass. Nor did we have liturgical dances on the altar (as was the case at times when I was a teenager). They are distractions. We have one Latin mass (the high mass) each week on Sundays here in Oslo at my church. If we are going backward in time, then all the masses should be celebrated in Latin as that is the language of the early church. Why focus on changing only one aspect of the mass? 

It has become quite silly in my opinion to focus on changing only one thing--how the priest faces during the celebration. I have never focused on the priest except when he faces us to give his sermon, which we could also do without since most of the priests simply regurgitate the gospel that can speak for itself for the most part. We can return to my childhood days when my mother would attend weekday masses that were quiet, short, and without sermons, just the celebration of the mass. And while we're at it, remove most statues and the accompanying small chapels that honor the saints. These can also be distractions.   

I realize that I sound quite harsh (some of what I write is of course a bit satirical). But if you are going to choose tradition, then go all the way and return the church to pre-Vatican II times. Streamline every aspect of the mass and boil it down to one predictable format. If that's what the Vatican thinks is going to draw in more of the faithful, then let them try. I'm not sure that the lack of attendance at mass has to do with these things. But I don't know. Perhaps there is a backlash against all things modern. For those of you who think that I am planning to leave the church, I am not. But I am voicing my right to have an opinion. 

Time Passages--Al Stewart

Time in a Bottle--Jim Croce

This song was running through my mind today, as I thought about holding on to time. How quickly it flies by. "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives"--the opening line to the soap opera Days of Our Lives, a soap opera that my mother used to watch a long time ago. The days of our lives are fleeting. They are like sand that we pick up in our hand, only to have the sand flow through our fingers. It's hard (for me) not to be melancholy at times about the passage of time. There's no stopping it or changing its format, so there's no point really in feeling sad about it, but nonetheless, I do sometimes. 

Ad Orientem and Versus Populem

The mass I normally attend on Sunday mornings, the 9:30 am Norwegian mass in the St. Joseph chapel, has changed its format. By that I mean that the priest, who used to face the congregation when he celebrated mass (versus populem or toward the people), now faced away from the congregation (ad orientem or toward the east). I stayed in my pew for all of ten minutes and then left the church, hoping that the 9:30 am English mass at St. Olav's church across the street would have the usual format with the priest facing us. Luckily that was the case. But this is going to become a dilemma for me if the ad orientem format completely replaces versus populem. The St. Joseph chapel has now physically moved its altar against the back wall so that the priest has to face away from us. This was done deliberately and I have no idea why. I only know that I hate the change. I find it rude, stiff, and unwelcoming. The priests have celebrated masses versus populem for over sixty years, since the Vatican II Council, and I see no reason to change the format now. This means that all masses in the chapel will now have the priest facing away from us, and God only knows how long it will be before the masses in the larger church will remain versus populem. And this is not just Oslo, Norway. It's also the case in many churches in the USA, New York City and Tarrytown among them. I have to ask why. The decision to change the format is up to the local bishops and pastors. This means that the pastor of St. Olav's church decided to change the format without even consulting his congregation, asking us what we think of such a change. The ad orientem format is supposed to align the congregation with the priest so that we all face the same way in the celebration of the liturgy. It is supposed to be more solemn and respectful and less narcissistic. The focus is supposed to be more on solemn worship and less on emotion and feelings. Again, it makes no sense to me. 

You may think that I am making a mountain out of a molehill. You are entitled to your opinion. My opinion is that this is another example of 'change for the sake of change'. The actual change has neither been discussed nor explained to the congregation. It's just another example of a religious patriarchy forcing unnecessary changes on the faithful. 

So I wrote to the church pastor and told him how I felt. I mentioned that I will no longer consider increasing my financial support of the church, as I had actually thought about doing. That's life, and I owe no explanations to anyone. I mentioned that Christ sat around a table at the Last Supper and broke bread with his disciples. He didn't have his back turned to them. He wasn't rude or unwelcoming. I said that I found it rude that the priest now faced away from us. We could hardly hear what he said as he mumbled to himself. I did not feel more in touch with the celebration of mass; I felt annoyed and disappointed. Irritated at a religious patriarchy that again decides what is best for everyone. They will not drag in more churchgoers this way. I need only think of the Church of St. Vincent de Paul in Albany NY that has its altar at the center of the church and chairs for the congregation clustered in a circle around it. Those masses are packed with people. Those masses are welcoming, inclusive, warm, not stiff. I've written about this church before: A New Yorker in Oslo: The Church of St. Vincent de Paul I wish there were more like them, and I hope that they do not change their format. 

The pastor of my church did write back to me, thanking me for my concerns. He hoped that we could one day sit down and discuss our viewpoints. I wrote back and reiterated my concerns and my disappointment, and mentioned that perhaps the church as a whole should consider addressing the pedophile scandals that have plagued the Catholic church for many years. Those are the issues that need addressing and resolving, not worrying about changing the orientation of how the priest says mass. I have not received a reply and I know that I won't. Ad orientem or versus populem is a distraction from the more important issues facing the church. For the first time ever in my life, I wished that I was at a service in a Protestant church, where women can be ministers and where the tone is welcoming and inclusive, the way that Christ would have wanted it, in my opinion. I wonder sometimes if any of the religious clergy actually consider what Christ would have wanted or preferred. They think they know with certainty what Christ wants, because they are ordained as priests. But I don't think they do, in my humble opinion. They're only human, and humans are not infallible. 

(For an interesting discussion and debate of these issues, I refer you to this article: Ad Orientem: Thoughts on debating the non-essential | Catholic Culture The author presents the pros and cons in depth. But still, I want the priest to face us when he says mass. It's what I've know for my entire life, and I don't see the point of this change now, especially when there are no good reasons for and explanations of it). 

When is enough, enough?

Taylor Sheridan is a good writer who has written and produced some very good series. So therefore I have to ask--what's with the sexual sadism and gratuitous nudity in the series 1923? What's the point of it? And why do we need to see this? There are enough viewers so that it's not necessary to justify showing this to audiences in order to drag them in and keep them hooked. Or is that the motivation? I really don't know.

We're done watching 1923, and while I think it's a good series overall, I have major problems with Sheridan's treatment of women. They get battered and pushed around an awful lot, a little too often. There is sadism, rape and sexual abuse; there is the threat of rape and sexual abuse, as well as sexual perversions that are graphically portrayed. Do we need this in a world that is already overly-violent to women? No. In 1923, we've been witness to lesbian rape scenes, sadism toward prostitutes, and unnecessary nudity. It's cringeworthy and gratuitous. These types of scenes make me wonder about the motivation of the writer. What is he trying to impart? What is the point of these scenes? To titillate? To show cruelty in all its grotesqueness? Isn't that what horror films are for? Perhaps Sheridan would defend this by saying that the wild west was a brutal place, and that men ruled it. Sure it was, and sure they did (and still do rule the world, despite the advances that women have made during the past fifty years). We all know that. It was survival of the fittest, dog eat dog, every man for himself. Women had to be tough in order to survive. Women had to know how to shoot to kill. But still, they were abused at the hands of physically stronger, evil, cruel, sadistic men, and in some cases, sadistic women. Many didn't survive. Many men didn't survive either. You carried a gun at all times. Out in the wilderness, on the plains, you were subject to the elements--weather, droughts, locust plagues, animal attacks, and attacks by cruel human beings. And many women died in childbirth. But still, you don't need to show it all. If you do, then why stop at the savagery of men? Why not show wolves, bears and mountain lions ripping men and women apart and eating them? Why is that off limits? Why not show rotting corpses, beheadings and close-ups of scalping? Because there are limits and Sheridan knows that. But when it comes to sexual scenes, he can push the limits. Why push them? 

I sometimes wonder how average ordinary men would feel if the majority of television programming showed men being raped or sexually abused in graphic detail. I doubt that most men would find it entertaining. Yet the depiction of women being raped or sexually abused passes for entertainment. Why? Because men run the show in nearly every arena, and defend this by saying that this is the way it was at those times in history. If the women in Sheridan's series aren't being battered and abused, then they are often portrayed as temptresses or harridans, with some exceptions. I think Dutton Ranch is the show I like the best, mostly because the main female character, Beth, played by Kelly Reilly, is one tough lady with a strong sense of justice who can hold her own. Helen Mirren and Michele Pfeiffer also play strong women in 1923 and The Madison, respectively. I don't want to see men and women being raped, being scalped, being tortured, being eaten by wild animals. You can very well insinuate that those things will happen, but you do not need to show them in gory detail. If viewers want that, they can go to see any number of horror films that will show them exactly that. 

Subtle, indeed

Again, thank God for cartoonists and political cartoonists. What would we do without them?

An article worth reading

I'm gifting my readers this NY Times article--Trump's Broken Promises, in 11 Charts, written by Steven Rattner. It's absolutely worth reading. 

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/08/18/opinion/trump-economy-campaign-promises.html?unlocked_article_code=1.6VA.tjhl.cxQZLGB9kK1U&smid=url-share

Some quotes about change

I'm fine with change for the most part, because change is a part of life, and our lives will continue to evolve and change even if we are resistant to the changes. Alan Deutschman summed up my attitude toward change generally when he wrote 'change or die'. But I'm not fine with unnecessary or frivolous change, or both. A number of so-called leaders need to leave their mark on things, so they 'make changes' to existing systems and structures that seem to be functioning perfectly well. Necessary? No, for the most part. Frivolous? Yes, if you're spending taxpayer dollars on vanity projects that reflect your narcissism. I'm a 'don't fix it if it ain't broke' kind of person. I'm also against 'change for change's sake'. There's too much of both in politics, in religion, and in the workplace. Here are some quotes about change, reflecting the pros and the cons: 

Do not ever take down a fence until you know the reason why it was put up. –GK Chesterton

Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. --Denis Waitley

Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes. --Hugh Prather

The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything... or nothing. --Nancy Astor

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. --Ellen Glasgow

Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. --Bertolt Brecht

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. --Arnold Bennett

Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are. --Soren Kierkegaard

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. --Gail Sheehy

The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life. --Leo Tolstoy

I'm always willing to accept change, just as long as it isn't change for the sake of change. If that change will result in a better way of doing things, then I'm all for it. –James Van Fleet

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. –Maya Angelou

The movie My Penguin Friend

I can wholeheartedly recommend this movie from 2024 for families and for people looking for a film that taps into the area of their hearts that becomes inextricably bound to animals. Or birds in this case. The film is based on the true story of a Brazilian fisherman, João (played by Jean Reno), who rescues a penguin that has swum into an oil spill. Penguins cannot fly, but they use their wings, which have become flippers, for swimming and for balancing when they are on land. The oil coated the penguin's flippers and body and has made it nearly impossible for him to swim. João cleans him off and feeds him, and the penguin (named Dindim by Lucia, the daughter of Calista, the friend of João's son who drowned when he was a boy) becomes attached to João, and eventually to his wife Maria (played by Adriana Barraza). He stays with them until February, when he migrates from their Brazilian island Ilha Grande to Patagonia, Argentina, his natural breeding ground, a journey of five thousand miles. He then migrates back to Ilha Grande again in June, staying with João and Maria until he leaves again in February. He does this for eight consecutive years. In Patagonia, he and his fellow penguins are studied by a research team that quickly realizes that Dindim is an unusual penguin, one who is friendly to humans. They tag him in order to track his movements. As fate would have it, Dindim becomes a local celebrity back on Ilha Grande, and a video taken of him goes viral. The researchers eventually discover this, and send a journalist and his team to the island to interview João and Maria and to meet Dindim. I won't give away the entire story, but it ends on a realistic but happy note. 

It was a pleasure to experience a movie that taps into your emotions in a very real way. João, Maria, and the townspeople are kind souls who are quick to help when help is needed. You end up rooting for Dindim and João, and you realize that not only has João rescued Dindim, but Dindim has helped to heal João. The movie never feels forced or unnatural. Dindim comes and goes as he pleases (realistic), and João describes himself as Dindim's friend. It's a lovely friendship, one that will capture your heart. Kudos to the director David Schurmann and the writers Kristen Lazarian and Paulina Lagudi Ulrich who have done an excellent job of telling a captivating real-life story of a penguin and his fisherman friend. 

Ebeltoft--a charming seaside town in Denmark

We spent a week in July in the charming seaside town of Ebeltoft in Denmark. The town is situated on the central east coast of Denmark, 50 km from Aarhus, in Region Midtjylland on the larger Djursland peninsula of Jutland (information from Wikipedia). It attracts many visitors during the summer months, who enjoy the sandy beaches, the 'old town' with its cobbled streets, glass and ceramic boutiques, and restaurants, and different museums. The latter includes the Glasmuseet Ebeltoft and Fregatten Jylland. We enjoyed wandering around the Glasmuseets gift shop, where we bought quite a few lovely glass sculptures as gifts. Our visit to the Fregatten Jylland was also quite interesting; it is the longest wooden warship (frigate) in the world, loaded with cannons that were used during the Battle of Heligoland in 1864. My one thought when we walked around this old boat was how it managed to stay afloat under the weight of the cannons! A testament to excellent shipbuilding. The Brasserie 1864 is located adjacent to Fregatten Jylland, and we enjoyed several good lunches and dinner there. Since we had our car with us, we were able to visit the Ree Park Safari (outdoor zoo) and the Kattegatcentret, a public aquarium, in nearby Grenå. We also drove around Mols Bjerge National Park; it would have been nice to have hiked around parts of it, but we opted not to do so because it was so warm. 

I enjoyed wandering along Nedergade ('lower street') with all its diverse shops and restaurants. The weather was sunny and warm so it was a pleasure to be outdoors. I also was charmed by the Danish half-timbered architecture ('bindingsværk'); there are many houses along Nedergade that had this style of architecture, and many of them were very old. The town seems to be wealthy, since many of these houses have been completely renovated and restored, which must have cost quite a lot of money. 

If you're looking for a chance to enjoy life in a small charming seaside town in Denmark, Ebeltoft is a good choice.

 

small half-timbered house

large half-timbered house

gorgeous hydrangeas 

beautiful garden

Fregatten Jylland 

take a short tour with the little train

typical storefront

an old-style pub

Italian restaurant

looking out over the water 

view of courtyard from street 

Reflections on the tunnels in which we find ourselves

I've been thinking lately about the tunnels that we let ourselves enter and then get lost in. It struck me that we should be more careful about the tunnels we choose to enter, because it may be quite difficult to extricate ourselves or to find the way out once we're halfway in. I've never liked tunnels because I'm claustrophobic, so I literally avoid real tunnels if I can. But avoiding the figurative ones is not as easy, because sometimes you don't realize you've tunneled yourself until you're lost or can't find your way out. 

We live in a society that is constantly striving to seduce us, to engage us, to capture our attention, to keep us on our phones and scrolling through our feeds on social media. A society that wants to suck us into one or another tunnel. Excessive use of social media is one type of tunnel that sucks us in and from which it's hard to extricate ourselves. Other tunnels are certain schools of thought, political philosophies, religious beliefs, and so on. Any type of extremist beliefs, whether they be political and/or religious, are dangerous tunnels to enter because they only lead us deeper into them. The tunnels get darker and deeper and narrower, like caves, and it becomes harder to see the exits or how to turn around. Much like a forest that we can wander into and in which we lose our bearings. The light disappears and the forest begins to impede our movements. That's what eventually happens; we trap ourselves into a mental immobility. We lose flexibility, freedom of thought, freedom to change our minds. 

I remember Christ saying in one of the gospels that we have to be vigilant, be constantly aware, because we can never know when he will return. Keeping the lamps lit was what I remember from that reading. Always at the ready--spiritual readiness. If we have wandered too deeply into our tunnels, the lamps will go out and we won't find out way out. We won't be ready. It's a dark thought, one that can scare me if I focus on it. Loss of hope, despair, negativity--these are other tunnels from which it's difficult to extricate ourselves. Staying vigilant--that is our hope and our salvation. Guarding against a sheep mentality--thinking and doing what most others are doing--is our salvation. We were given intelligence for a reason; we should use it often and responsibly. 

Electric Feel by MGMT

This song from 2007 escaped my attention when it was first released. I don't remember hearing it or seeing the video when it first came out. But it showed up in one of my reels on FB, and I was intrigued enough to give it a listen. And I liked it. It definitely has a psychedelic hippie vibe; it brought to mind a Three Dog Night album insert that depicted the band and their families partying, and also the song Dancing in the Moonlight from 1972 by King Harvest. 

  

How to find peace of mind (in my opinion)

Spot on, once again. Thank you, Stephan Pastis......