Friday, September 30, 2011

Some wise words about good intentions



I looked up these quotes about good intentions today because today was one of those days when I realized that having the best of intentions in certain situations is no guarantee of a happy outcome. I realized that no matter how good one's motives and intentions might be, they can be misconstrued by others who have their own personal agendas and vulnerabilities. Good communication is the way to deal with such misunderstandings, but it is so difficult to achieve that sometimes. It is sorely dependent upon both parties meeting each other at the negotiating table as peers, and that does not often occur. Sometimes the offended party would rather judge, lecture, and otherwise dominate the situation in order to make the other party feel small. And it works--the purported offender does feel small. But feeling small is not an apology or an admission of wrongdoing. It is merely one way of dealing with judgmental controlling people and letting them have their say before one offers up a reply. The problem is that the reply can often lead to more problems, because by pointing out that one's intentions were good, one is defending oneself and the act of defending oneself for some people is a big no-no, because if you do that, you are guilty as charged. And I don't agree with this. I think that people who always give in or act like doormats, no matter the criticism, are the ones who are guilty. If you are innocent, you will try to defend yourself against an attack on your motives or character. I have experienced this at times in my workplace, and it is not easy to wage a counterattack. But it is necessary for your identity and self-value. And if you are wrong and know it, then an apology is in order. But if you are not wrong, then it’s just foolish to play the part of the offender. You hand over more power to the offended person, who may enjoy the power game that has ensued. In any case, I am not interested in the power or the game. I’m simply interested in the truth, in the reality of each situation that arises.  

·         It is not good enough for things to be planned - they still have to be done; for the intention to become a reality, energy has to be launched into operation.”
Walt Kelly
·         Let your intentions be good - embodied in good thoughts, cheerful words, and unselfish deeds - and the world will be to you a bright and happy place in which to work and play and serve.
Grenville Kleiser
·         Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts.
Mohandas Gandhi
·         Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.
Peter Drucker
·         I don't know anyone in the public eye who has not made a mistake and said something in a manner that does not truly reflect their intentions.
Jim Jeffords
·         Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions; it's walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too.
Aldous Huxley
·         The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux
·         The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.
Albert Camus
·         Our intentions may be very good, but, because the intelligence is limited, the action may turn out to be a mistake - a mistake, but not necessarily a sin, for sin comes out of a wrong intention.
E. Stanley Jones
·         A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
Oscar Wilde
·         I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Douglas Adams



The four important F's

My friend Cindy, who is a retired minister, sends me different spiritual and inspirational reflections as she comes across them and thinks I...