Tuesday, December 31, 2019

A new year of lovely days

My new year's wishes for my readers--a new year filled with 'lovely days'. Each of us has to find our own way to make our days lovely; there is no one way to achieve that. But one way to start is by remaining open to life and to people and all they offer, each day. And by finding that part of ourselves that stands apart from the societal pressures to conform, to stop thinking, to stop appreciating all the good that surrounds us. Happy New Year!




Lovely Day
Bill Withers, Studio Rio
When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day
When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day
When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: William Harrison Withers Jr. / Skip Scarborough
Lovely Day lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Golden Withers Music

Saturday, December 28, 2019

The magic of Christmas trees

Putting up a Christmas tree is an important Christmas tradition in our house. I know people who don't put up a tree, and they always have good reasons for not doing so, but it wouldn't work for me. There is something about having a Christmas tree that adds to the Christmas spirit and ambience in our home. My husband and I have decided that we will put up a real tree for as long as we manage to carry one home from the Christmas tree market where we buy one each year (right down the hill from where we live). It usually doesn't take us long to pick one out; we like fir trees (edelgran in Norwegian), about six feet tall, and as symmetrical as possible when you twirl them.

But it is the magic that Christmas trees create, the beauty they add to a room or an outdoor space, that is an important part of Christmas each year. We always had a Christmas tree in our home when we were children, albeit an artificial tree since my parents weren't big on buying real trees. It wasn't until I moved to Norway that real trees became a part of Christmas. Our co-op board also buys a large real tree and puts it up in the courtyard. If it snows, it is always so pretty to look at, the golden lights shining through the glistening snow. Christmas magic, indoors and outdoors.....








Wednesday, December 25, 2019

A Christmas reminder to keep life simple

Today, Christmas Day, we celebrate a man whose entire life was lived simply. His humble beginnings in a stall, surrounded by shepherds and sheep, are testament to that. His message was also simple-- 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength'. Also-- 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Simple words, and yet how difficult they are to practice sometimes. In the midst of our complicated lives, it's good to be reminded of what really matters. That is the message of Christmas.




Tuesday, December 24, 2019

The pressure to have an opinion about everything

We are giving up our subscription to the daily newspaper, the paper version that gets delivered to our door each day, as of the start of the new year. I have mixed feelings about doing so; on the one hand, I want to support newspapers and a free press, on the other hand, I have grown weary of modern journalism and its insistence on having to dissect everything ad nauseam in order to 'present the facts', and on its insistence that everyone has to have an opinion about every issue reported on. Their contribution to the polarization (especially political) we see in society at present is considerable. They are no longer neutral purveyors of the news. The fact of the matter is that many newspapers and TV stations are partisan, supporting either liberal or conservative sides, and no matter how they try to disguise that they are not able to do so. Their partisan stance always shines through whatever is reported. And that is the major reason why I won't miss the daily newspaper, and why I have reduced the time I spend watching TV news. I find both very stressful; they 'invade' the peace of daily life that is so hard to come by, and they force readers and viewers to take sides, to have an opinion about everything (regardless of whether readers and viewers are well-informed about specific issues or not). The most stressful thing I know is people who spout their (often-uninformed) opinions about everything under the sun, but if you ask them how they know what they say is true, their answer is that they read it in one or another newspaper, or worse, on social media. Surprisingly, intelligent people fall into this trap as well; 'I read it/heard it in the news' (therefore it must be true) is a standard comment in so many conversations and discussions. What surprises me is that this comment often ends an interesting discussion, because the person who utters it expresses little to no interest in exploring a specific issue further, in other words, no interest in going deeper, under the surface, to learn about whether what they profess to be true or false, is really so. 

When I am asked my opinion about a specific issue these days, I often answer 'I don't know' or 'I don't have an opinion'. This is the truth. Often I don't have an opinion about a specific issue because I am not informed about it, and I don't want to be pressured into uttering an opinion I neither stand for nor have reflected upon. The latter is very important to me these days; I want the time to reflect on the issues that come my way. I also appreciate the freedom to reject issues that do not interest me. In other words, I am not interested in having an opinion about absolutely everything. Firstly, it is impossible to have an opinion about absolutely everything, and secondly, having an opinion about absolutely everything is characteristic of superficiality. If you ask me about a scientific issue, I can most likely answer your question or have an opinion about it, e.g. vaccination or cancer treatment, because I have studied and worked in science for many years and consider myself reasonably informed. If you ask me about a political issue, I can tell you what I may prefer in politics, but I cannot say that my answer is an informed opinion, because I know very little about politics, and it would be stupid of me to argue stubbornly for my way of thinking. I would have to concede to politicians or those who are well-informed about politics in a political discussion. The problem nowadays is that few people are willing to say 'I don't know'. Few people are willing to listen to the experts tell them about a specific issue. Few people are willing to really learn about an issue. Many people will argue and stubbornly continue to argue for their point of view in the face of truth and facts that prove their opinions to be false. If you want to be informed, there are many ways to get informed, but you have to be willing to invest the time needed to read and to reflect upon what you read. You have to be willing to talk to the experts and read what they have written. And if you want to remain neutral in a partisan world, you need to be informed about what both sides stand for. Actually, many issues have multiple sides, not just two sides. It is entirely possible to remain neutral, to want a non-partisan world without it necessarily being an overly politically-correct world. Neutrality and political correctness are not the same thing. Neutrality (at least for me) implies the desire to acknowledge that there are multiple sides to an issue and to reflect upon the associated pros and cons. One will always have opinions about some issues important to oneself; one cannot have opinions about absolutely every societal issue. 


Monday, December 16, 2019

All things Christmas

We are a week away from Christmas, more or less. It seems as though we've been on the road to Christmas since the middle of November, and as always, the weeks have flown by. Each week seems to be filled with things that have to be done, in addition to all of the work projects that have piled up. It's always like this right before Christmas and before summer vacation--the last minute rush to get things done. We put up our Christmas tree early this year--last week in fact--and I hope that it lasts until around January 6th when we take it down. We haven't gone over to an artificial tree yet, but we have talked about it; maybe in a few years. I bought LED outdoor string lights for the balcony, and they look very nice. I wish I could get a good night photo of them, but I don't seem to be able to--the photos end up too blurry. One of the nice things about LED lights is that they use very little electricity, so many people have decorated their balconies and homes with string lights. The end result is that there is more light in the darkness than usual. This is the dark time of the year in northern Europe, but it doesn't feel that way because so many people are using LED lights to light up the darkness.

It will be nice to have some time off for the Christmas holidays. I will catch up on my reading, sleeping, and baking. And I will try to take more photos during this season…….

Christmas tree in the courtyard



our Christmas tree

the amaryllis has already bloomed




Sunday, December 8, 2019

Romantic Christmas movies

This year, two Norwegian channels are showing American romantic Christmas movies, either produced by Hallmark or UPTV. One channel showed them all through November; the other has decided to show them all through December. Interestingly enough, there seems to be very little overlap, because I have been taping many of them and they are all different movies, albeit with similar themes and plots. It's hard to remember the names of the movies for exactly that reason, but they mostly have the following plots--girl meets boy but has no time for a relationship because her career takes up most of her life (Hallmark and UPTV are not anti-feminists), but circumstances are such that they either run into each other randomly from time to time, or they are friends who don't want to ruin the friendship by pursuing romance, or they end up working together on a project, or boy pursues girl in a focused slow way in order to win her over, or both figure out over the course of the movie that they belong together. Whatever the plot, the endings are pretty much the same--boy and girl end up together and find happiness. They are feel-good movies for the most part, and perfect TV watching right before bedtime--nothing too heavy, violent, or deep.

You might think that I am going to criticize these types of movies--but you'd be wrong. I rather want to praise them, if for no other reason than that they add a certain lightness/goodness to a world filled with the opposite. They are reminders that the majority of ordinary people go about their ordinary lives, working, meeting a potential spouse, raising families, visiting parents and good friends. I'd rather watch two young adults find love and happiness than watch two adults destroy each other and their marriage and children, even though the latter can absolutely be good drama and provide the potential to learn from the tragedies of others. I'd rather watch the characters in these movies struggle to remain decent human beings in the face of unfairness and injustice. Many of them take the high road in circumstances that would cause others to take the low road. They may not be the most realistic of movies. But if you asked most couples how they met, I bet you'd find that many of them have some interesting stories to tell of love found, love lost, and love found again. Sometimes love is lost for good; these movies deal with that aspect as well. Friendships get them through those times. And I can relate, because friendships are very important, married or not. My mother used to tell me that I should never give up my women friends, even if I married. And I never have. One of the nicest of these Christmas films that I saw this past week dealt with just that--three close childhood friends, two of whom moved away from their hometown in order to pursue careers, and who end up returning to live there after the third friend gets divorced and is in danger of losing her house--a house that holds special memories for these friends. It's a touching movie, with a title that doesn't do it justice--Christmas on Holly Lane--you'd never know that it really is about the blessings of friendship to get you through the tough times. I really liked it.

Some of my favorite films thus far are, in addition to Christmas on Holly Lane:
  • A Shoe Addict's Christmas (2018)
  • Christmas Perfection (2018)
  • Christmas Getaway (2017)
  • A Perfect Christmas (An Unexpected Christmas) (2016)
  • A Puppy for Christmas (2016)
  • Just in Time for Christmas (2015) 
  • The Spirit of Christmas (2015)
  • A Christmas Kiss (2011)
I'll add to the list as I happily plow my way through the list of taped films during the next few weeks......

Update December 2021--here are some new films that I've enjoyed:
  • A Dream of Christmas (2016)
  • A Heavenly Christmas (2016)
  • Christmas in Vienna (2020) 




A long road and the journey along it

Twenty years ago, I defended my doctoral work, after six long years of toil in the lab and in my office writing up the results of my hard work. While I no longer work in the lab full-time, I am and have been responsible for students (PhD and Masters) who do. One of the PhD students is finishing up her own work and hopes to submit her thesis early next year. We got to talking recently about the long journey that makes up the entirety of doctoral work. You don't reflect so much upon the journey when you are experiencing it, but when you are close to finishing or are finished (or are twenty years down the road), you realize just what an incredible and strange journey it's been. As the Grateful Dead sing "Lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been" (from their song Truckin'). The PhD journey is difficult, frustrating, tears-inducing, overwhelming, nerve-wracking, as well as intellectually-stimulating, mind-expanding, and rewarding on so many levels. When you're done, you realize what you have accomplished, and you realize mostly that the journey is about persistence. If you persist, you'll get there. There are hindrances along the way--demotivating mentors, indifferent mentors, projects that don't work out and need to be abandoned in favor of others, bad prioritizing, journals that refuse your articles, lack of funding--the list is long. If you persist in the face of all the hindrances, you'll realize that doctoral work is a microcosm of what life is all about. Nowadays a PhD takes about four years to complete with a requirement for at least two published articles and one manuscript; back in my day it took about six years with a requirement for at least five published articles. Four or six years in the space of an average lifespan is really not a lot of years, but when you're going through it, it can feel like forever.

Persistence is the key word for much of life. There are many hindrances along life's road. Some of them threaten to overwhelm us, and for some people, perhaps the hindrances are too many and they give up. But most people do not, and once you reach middle age, you realize that the journey is about persisting and overcoming obstacles. It is also about enjoying the ride, but happiness is rather fleeting, and is not a goal in and of itself. If there is happiness, it is found in the journey itself. So many students have said that to me, that they realized how much they really did enjoy the difficulties they faced, even though in the face of them, they complained and were frustrated. I know, because I was too. I know too that I have dealt with many obstacles since my PhD years, and not all of them led to pleasant places even though I overcame them. But in the midst of the unhappiness, there was the journey, the road, the way forward and the way out. I persisted, struggled, and made my way along the road, like so many before me and many that will come after me. Like my student now, who has had many more obstacles than I ever had. But she has persisted, and come to discover that she likes research, so much so that she can envision a future where she will make room for the intellectual pursuits of research. The funny thing about difficult journeys; you insist that you just want to get to the end of the journey, but when you do, you realize one thing. Ursula Le Guin says it best:
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”



Sunday, December 1, 2019

Rage and fear in nursing homes

The Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten published a rather unsettling article in its A-magazine this weekend about violence within elderly care centers/nursing homes in Norway. At first glance, I thought it would be about abuse of elderly residents by nursing home employees. This is not unheard of, and has been written about for a number of years now. No, this article was about abuse of elderly residents and nursing home caregivers by fellow elderly residents, and it is more widespread than one might think. The nurses and care workers do not report all of the incidents that occur, hence this type of violence is under-reported. Many of the violent residents have been diagnosed with dementia, and even though they are cognitively-challenged, they still retain their physical strength and their voices, both of which they use against their fellow residents and the caregivers. In some cases, the violence was directed against visitors, who ended up terrified. Most of the violence has to do with the rage some of these residents feel, most likely rage against their illness, their mental incapacity, the fact that they know they are in a nursing home and perhaps feel like prisoners, their sense of having lost their identity--the list is long. The point is that their dementia makes them angry, makes them rage, makes them act out, and when they do, much of it takes the form of physical violence, but also verbal abuse (yelling and swearing). Some of these residents throw glasses, cups, chairs; others hold others down, slap them, punch them, kick them, bite them, spit at them, and try to break the fingers of the care workers. Still others (men) were sexually abusive toward some of the elderly women living in the homes. In most cases, the care centers and nursing homes were understaffed, especially at night when some of the demented residents wandered through the halls and into and out of other residents' rooms. It is up to the residents to decide if they want to lock their doors or not; the nursing homes cannot make this decision for them without their permission unless violent situations such as described in the article arise. These situations cannot lead to any repercussions in terms of prison sentences either, since demented individuals cannot be prosecuted.

Any way you look at it, this is an impossible situation. If employees and non-violent residents end up terrorized by violent residents in nursing homes, it will not end well for anyone. I can envision a not-to-distant future where few to no young people will choose to work as nurses or aides in nursing homes. The number of elderly with dementia is predicted to double by 2050, thus need for round-the-clock care will only increase. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that if something is not done to tackle the problem, it will not go away. I don't know what the policies are for tranquilizing such people, but it might be one way to proceed in order to keep them calm. I don't know how elderly with dementia are currently treated (with drugs), but at least if they are tranquilized they cannot be a danger to themselves or others. I know it sounds harsh, but the alternatives are harsher. If nursing homes end up being more understaffed than they are now, they will close, and then it will be up to individual families to take care of these violent demented individuals (most of whom were men in the Aftenposten article, but there were some few women). I feel sorry for them, but they cannot be allowed to destroy the peace that the non-violent elderly deserve after a long life. The latter deserve respect and the right to live out their lives in peace and without fear of being harassed or physically assaulted by fellow residents or anyone else. I applaud Aftenposten for raising this issue, which is most difficult to discuss and even more difficult to solve.

Apparently, this is a global problem, as I have seen online. In other countries, there are special nursing homes for elderly with severe (and aggressive) dementia. Anger is a part of dementia, and in other countries tranquilizers are often prescribed for such people. But they do not always take their medications. So it remains a problem--how to deal with these elderly, how to respect them but at the same time limit their aggression, and how to protect the non-violent residents and caregivers.






The Spinners--It's a Shame

I saw the movie The Holiday again recently, and one of the main characters had this song as his cell phone ringtone. I grew up with this mu...