A long road and the journey along it

Twenty years ago, I defended my doctoral work, after six long years of toil in the lab and in my office writing up the results of my hard work. While I no longer work in the lab full-time, I am and have been responsible for students (PhD and Masters) who do. One of the PhD students is finishing up her own work and hopes to submit her thesis early next year. We got to talking recently about the long journey that makes up the entirety of doctoral work. You don't reflect so much upon the journey when you are experiencing it, but when you are close to finishing or are finished (or are twenty years down the road), you realize just what an incredible and strange journey it's been. As the Grateful Dead sing "Lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been" (from their song Truckin'). The PhD journey is difficult, frustrating, tears-inducing, overwhelming, nerve-wracking, as well as intellectually-stimulating, mind-expanding, and rewarding on so many levels. When you're done, you realize what you have accomplished, and you realize mostly that the journey is about persistence. If you persist, you'll get there. There are hindrances along the way--demotivating mentors, indifferent mentors, projects that don't work out and need to be abandoned in favor of others, bad prioritizing, journals that refuse your articles, lack of funding--the list is long. If you persist in the face of all the hindrances, you'll realize that doctoral work is a microcosm of what life is all about. Nowadays a PhD takes about four years to complete with a requirement for at least two published articles and one manuscript; back in my day it took about six years with a requirement for at least five published articles. Four or six years in the space of an average lifespan is really not a lot of years, but when you're going through it, it can feel like forever.

Persistence is the key word for much of life. There are many hindrances along life's road. Some of them threaten to overwhelm us, and for some people, perhaps the hindrances are too many and they give up. But most people do not, and once you reach middle age, you realize that the journey is about persisting and overcoming obstacles. It is also about enjoying the ride, but happiness is rather fleeting, and is not a goal in and of itself. If there is happiness, it is found in the journey itself. So many students have said that to me, that they realized how much they really did enjoy the difficulties they faced, even though in the face of them, they complained and were frustrated. I know, because I was too. I know too that I have dealt with many obstacles since my PhD years, and not all of them led to pleasant places even though I overcame them. But in the midst of the unhappiness, there was the journey, the road, the way forward and the way out. I persisted, struggled, and made my way along the road, like so many before me and many that will come after me. Like my student now, who has had many more obstacles than I ever had. But she has persisted, and come to discover that she likes research, so much so that she can envision a future where she will make room for the intellectual pursuits of research. The funny thing about difficult journeys; you insist that you just want to get to the end of the journey, but when you do, you realize one thing. Ursula Le Guin says it best:
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

On the journey

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”  Ursula K Le Guin

When I wrote my doctoral thesis back in the late 1990s, I used this quote in the preface. It was quite relevant at the time, since my doctoral work was a long journey toward the PhD degree, which seemed so unattainable at times. Especially during the difficult times in the lab, when things were not going well or taking too long, or when my articles were rejected and sent back to me. When I finally reached my goal, I realized that much of the enjoyment in pursuing a goal is in fact the journey toward it. I realized that the lab work, no matter how difficult or frustrating, was part and parcel of the entire experience. You don’t get to be a full-fledged scientist without dealing with frustration, long hours in the lab, difficulties, crying fits, wanting to give up, waking up the next day and feeling ok again and wanting to start anew. Pursuing a doctorate is a difficult experience; it’s a challenge that you are not likely to forget the rest of your life. I see that in some of the students I have advised during the past decade; they struggled, some hit the wall temporarily, but they kept going in spite of setbacks. One or two were whiz kids and managed to finish in three years what it took others six years to achieve. We all have a different road to follow. If it takes you longer than it takes another, then it does. That’s your journey. Sometimes, it’s what we learn along the way in terms of patience, tenacity, faith, hope, and camaraderie that keeps us going. You learn that ‘no man is an island’; that your fellow students and/or co-workers are there for mutual support. That complaining is part of life and work, but that solving problems instead of complaining is preferable. Life is a long journey for most of us, if we're lucky; there is no point in kvetching continually. The fact remains that life really is not fair; it doesn’t always go the way we want it to. But sometimes it does, and goals get achieved. And part of the journey in this life is taking the time to enjoy those achievements, to look at them and say, I did this, yippee. We need sometimes to pat ourselves on the back and say ‘job well-done’, before we start on the next journey toward a new goal. Because that’s a reality of life too. We are never done, we are never satisfied; we are perpetually meeting the next challenge. Each decade has its challenges and goals, I see that more clearly now than when I was younger. It became even clearer this past weekend when I was together with several elderly women, all of whom are in their 80s; their journeys continue—the challenges are different—most of them have to do with the vagaries of old age—but they remain journeyers. They remain interested in the world around them, they are social, kind, patient with themselves and others; they have achieved a certain wisdom that comes from a long life journey. They are my role models.