I am reading Phyllis Theroux’s The Journal Keeper: A Memoir at present; I am only a fourth of the
way through it, but can wholeheartedly recommend it. This memoir is a collection
of her reflections on: her life as a writer, writing, the joys and difficulties of being a writer, finances, life, love,
friendship, and her mistakes, strengths, dreams and desires. They are all things
to which I can relate. She lived with (and took care of) her nearly-blind mother until she passed away, so she understands the passage of time and the importance
of living now and doing what it is we must do. She understands the idea of
trying to be the best version of herself. She is honest, unflinching and clear
about her progress, successes and failures, about her relationships with her mother, children,
neighbors and friends. It is rare that I come across a voice that resonates
with me, or better-put, resonates with that part of me that is facing many of
the same challenges. I look forward to picking up her book again in the evening
before I sleep; I look forward to hearing what she has to say. She could be a
friend; she is at the very least someone I would truly enjoy getting to know.
I have also discovered The
Sinner, a 2017 TV series starring Jessica Biel. She plays a young married
woman with a child, and her life seems to be ordinary and reasonably happy. She
and her husband seem to have a good relationship. They both work together at
the same company run by her husband’s father. And then one day when she and her
family are relaxing on the beach at a nearby lake, she suddenly and
inexplicably stands up, knife in hand, and proceeds to stab to death the young
man sitting at a distance in front of her. And then the story really begins, because
we know she has murdered him. The question is why. And that why is a journey into her psyche, her
family life before she married, her relationship with her terminally-ill
sister, and her relationship with her parents (especially an over-religious
mother). The policeman assigned to her case tries to dig into her past in an
effort to find answers as to why she would murder someone for apparently no
reason. We know of course that he will find out many things, and many of them
are not pleasant. I’ll leave it at that, but suffice it to say that Jessica
Biel owns the role of The Sinner—a woman whose present life is suddenly and
without warning, ripped unmercifully apart by her past. It’s a gripping crime
drama, but not one for those under sixteen, due to the often lurid subject
matter and the sexual situations.
And in the same vein (repressed young woman whose life takes
a bizarre turn), we have Thelma, a 2017 film by the Norwegian director Joachim Trier. After seeing this film, I ask--what
scares you? As a former horror movie aficionado, I find that as I get older,
it’s not the blood and guts horror films that really scare me. The films that
have the greatest impact on me, the ones that linger in my mind long after
they’re over, the ones that scare me when I think back on them--are the films
that create the suggestion of terror, of horror, of the supernatural. They’re
the films that have an ominous cloud hanging over them, a cloud that creates
paranoia and murkiness. They’re the films where nearly everything that happens
has some sort of darker meaning. In Thelma,
crows have a special meaning. Panic attacks similar to epileptic seizures have a special meaning. Thelma’s father and mother understand this. Is Thelma a
witch? Has she inherited her grandmother's psychological disorder involving the ability to use psychokinesis to change situations that upset or anger her (think of the main protagonist in the 1976 film Carrie). Or is she just a disturbed young woman whose meeting with first love
just happens to be a lesbian relationship, which throws her psyche into direct
conflict with her repressive religious upbringing that both her parents have foisted upon her. What horrific secrets lie in her past to explain her present life? There are secrets, and there are unpleasant revelations that can only lead to
one outcome—again, that the past rears its ugly head to upset the present, because
the past cannot be repressed forever. Repressed feelings, if they cannot be
normally expressed, find their way out in other ways. What will it take to free Thelma from her past? And what happens if she is freed from it? Eventually, she finds out, and the outcome is disturbing. Thelma is worth seeing; it’s a hard-to-define movie. Is it a psychological thriller or is it a horror film? I'd say it's both. It gives
viewers chills down the spine, a sense of foreboding, an uncomfortable feeling,
and a feeling of dread concerning (knowing) what comes next. Both Thelma and The Sinner excel in this regard.
