Recently, my husband purchased a new electric bike at a store that just happens to be located in downtown Oslo. He asked me if I would drive him there because there are new traffic restrictions due to the closing of Ring 1 (the innermost traffic ring) and the bus routes have been changed. Additionally he's still getting over a sprained ankle and walking long distances would be uncomfortable, so I told him I would drive him. We both know what that entails. Generally speaking, we stay as far away from downtown Oslo as possible, at least where driving is concerned. And we've lived here for over thirty years.
People don't believe me when I tell them that I'd rather drive in Manhattan or on the NJ Turnpike out to Newark Airport than drive in downtown Oslo. I've driven in Manhattan for years, have made my share of mistakes, but have always had the chance to turn right or left at the next traffic light and circle around the block. It helps that much of Manhattan is designed as a grid, with clearly-defined blocks, streets, and avenues. Not Oslo. It's an old city, so you would think they would cut motorists some slack for exactly that reason. You would think that they would allow for driving mistakes. They do not. After fifteen minutes of dealing with two-way streets that become one-way streets, streets that are only for bicycles and pedestrians, streets that are only for buses, trams and taxis, streets where you can't make a left in order to turn around--you're ready to vomit. I mean that literally. You're driving at the same time as you're trying to interpret all of the idiotic symbols for bikes, cars, trams, etc. You're left wondering where to go and how to get where you want to go. You consider pulling over to the curb and just abandoning your car. On my way home the other day, a trip that should take no more than ten minutes took me thirty minutes. I was on a road out of the city, after having passed the Opera and the Central Train Station, when I finally decided to make an illegal U-turn so that I could turn around. This, after having passed signs that prohibited me from making left and right turns. The only way I could proceed was forward. Both my husband and I agree that driving in downtown Oslo will make you nauseous because of the high level of anxiety and because your heart is constantly in your mouth. Driving in downtown Oslo will drive you insane, or if not insane, it will give you a heart attack and/or destroy whatever peace of mind you had at the start of the day. It's not for the fainthearted.
Of course we're dealing with the Green Party when we talk about driving in Oslo. The Green Party doesn't want us to drive at all and has made it as difficult as possible with all of the restrictive traffic regulations and policies. Their stated goal is to rid the city of cars from the downtown area up to and including traffic Ring 2 by 2025. The level of insanity that currently exists will ensure that happens. People will give up rather than fight. The Green Party would rather you used bicycles, scooters, buses, and trams to get around. All well and good if Norway wasn't a winter country almost half the year. All well and good if public transportation worked every time you got on a bus or tram or train. I don't think they care too much that the downtown area stores will suffer from restrictive traffic policies. Delivery trucks will have a hard time (they complain already) delivering goods to stores. I guess the Green Party thinks that we should sit on our rear ends all day at all of the wonderful cafes that can be found in all of the closed-off pedestrian-only streets, drinking cappuccinos and eating pastries and gaining weight. Oh wait, you can do that in good conscience as long as you get back on your electric bike to bike home.
I don't know what tourists think, but I can guess. My husband thinks driving in England on the left side of the road is easier than driving in downtown Oslo. If I was a tourist, I would do my homework and not rent a car in Oslo. There's no point. I'm not even sure I would rent a car to drive from Oslo out into the countryside. You need to know what you're doing--how to get out of the city and how to get back. Yes, we have Google Maps, Maps, Waze, etc. to help us. I don't know how much they will help, to be honest. Driving in Oslo approaches nightmare status. Bergen is no better. Who wants or needs the aggravation?
