Random reflections and observations

Politics. We're heading into a new presidential race that unsurprisingly enough feels like a repeat of four years ago. Biden versus Trump, unless each party comes up with a better candidate to represent them. I wish both men would retire quietly, without a lot of fanfare and chest beating, and leave the arena to new and younger blood. Although promising at one time, De Santis just doesn't make the grade; he seems like a mini-Trump sans the bravado and in-your-face aggressiveness. But he pales in Trump's shadow. If Trump wasn't in the picture, maybe he'd have half a chance. But I don't think he has what it takes to be president. Neither does Trump, for that matter. I cannot understand why anyone still supports Trump, but I've given up trying to figure people out. He's a national embarrassment and I can say that; I live abroad and I see the reactions of the European media to him. No one can figure out the Trump supporters. Many theories have been advanced as to why they support him, but there doesn't seem to be one defining thing that makes them like him. It's actually a bit scary. 

Society. I saw a meme on Facebook today "Forget world peace, just try visualizing using your turn signal when driving". That's about where it is for me. I suppose we need to aim high--world peace--but at this point, I'd settle for a return to common courtesy and common sense in society. It seems that the world is mired in greed, lack of ethics, lack of empathy, lack of respect, and lack of common sense. I see it every day here in Oslo. The rudeness in society is appalling; bicyclists who don't stop for pedestrians in the crosswalks, but who suddenly stop for no good reason in the bike lanes, causing those behind them to brake suddenly. One day there is going to be a major accident involving many cyclists. Bicyclists here are as thoughtless as many car drivers, but we're always hearing about how rude car drivers are, never how rude bicyclists are. That's because the Green Party here has to push its message, which is to bike in any and all circumstances. "Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail" should prevent the good Oslo citizen from biking. It borders on ridiculous. It's like the Green Party has forgotten that winter in this country is a good five to six months long. I don't understand their point of view and I never will. Some construction projects take years to plan, finalize and complete. Not so with bike paths; they are constructed and finished before you have the chance to take a breath. When they want something, nothing stands in their way--that's the motto of the Green Party. I have no problems with biking; I've been biking my entire life, since I was a child. But I won't bike in the wintertime, and I don't need fascist propaganda telling me to do just that. And as an 83-year old friend of mine recently commented--not everyone can or is able to bike, regardless of age. She's right. 

Religion. I attend mass on Saturday evenings/Sunday mornings hoping to find some peace and quiet that are conducive to contemplation and prayer. Not to be had. No matter what (purportedly sans music) mass I attend, the priest insists on singing some part of the mass. Unfortunately, about half of the priests who say mass cannot sing to save their lives, so it's both painful and irritating to listen to them. I stand in the pew and pray that my irritation dissipates, but it's a bit sad to find myself in that position at mass. I don't want to be thinking about my irritation at something that could be solved easily--just have one mass for those people who don't want priests and/or the congregation singing at them, who don't want to sing the entire mass or even parts of it. Just have a quiet mass, for heaven's sake. Is that too much to ask?

Friendship. In the final analysis, friendship is defined for me by who is there for you in good times and in bad. I have a small circle of lifelong friends without whom I couldn't imagine my life. They are in my heart forever. The rest are just acquaintances or work friends, and with a few exceptions, I cannot rely on them to be there for me. It's always been that way, but now that I'm retired, I see it more clearly. They do not prioritize getting together; they prioritize work and more work, anything that furthers the work cause. Now that I no longer work, we have less in common. If one relies on these types of people for friendship, one will be quite lonely. I don't, but I acknowledge the strangeness and clarity of it all. But suddenly, when they want to get together, they expect you to dance to their tune; they decide the time and place, you show up. Not all of them behave that way, of course. But accommodating their schedules doesn't work for me anymore. I used to do that, but no longer. My schedule is just as important as theirs, perhaps more so, because I have plenty to do now that I'm retired. They don't think so, however. So these types of relationships will eventually fade away. As will many other things, since life is about letting go.

Getting older. That leads me to the final observation--getting older means getting tougher in all ways. I'm simply not interested in wasting my time on people, situations, books, films, series etc. that give me nothing, that don't inspire me, that don't make my life better. I don't want to waste time doing things that I don't want to do, and that includes spending time with people who are sometimes nice and sometimes not. I want to spend time with people whose moods are for the most part stable, who are kind at heart, who have Christian values, and who are not rude or aggressive or passive-aggressive, or who try to gaslight you (as in, they never said or meant this or that, but they did say it and they did mean it). I want to spend time with people who are as interested in my life and what I'm doing as I am in theirs. I want to spend time with people with whom I can have a real and meaningful conversation. There is so little of the latter; it truly surprises me that more people don't miss having good conversations. I miss my parents and my brother, who were people I loved and with whom I could converse. Our times together were real, likewise our conversations. 

Notes from a traveler on my recent trip to the USA

Meeting the Canadian DJ in the passport control line at Newark airport who had traveled all around the world for his job when he was younger and who ended up marrying a Norwegian woman and living in Norway. A very gregarious type, very talkative. He must have been quite the Lothario when he was single. He mentioned that he had had many Norwegian girlfriends before he married, some of whom were married themselves. Now he sounded resigned to his being 'trapped' in Norway, as he put it. 

Meeting the American woman and her daughter on the train platform at Newark airport while waiting for the Amtrak train to Washington DC. They had just returned from vacation in Copenhagen. We compared notes on Covid-19 testing in order to enter the USA again; she had paid forty dollars for two antigen tests in Copenhagen whereas I had paid ninety dollars for one test in Oslo, Norway. Norway knows how to extract money from us. 

Meeting the taxi driver from Jamaica who drove me from the Union train station in Washington DC to my hotel. The first chance he got, he showed me pictures of his daughter, her husband, and his beautiful granddaughters who live in Montenegro. He was so proud of his grandchildren. He only gets to see them once a year, and was hoping to travel to visit them next year. We talked about how hard it was to have parents in another country than where you live, especially when they get sick and old. Most of his siblings had emigrated to the USA from Jamaica, but many of them were dead now. Most of them had had government jobs. I gave him a big tip after he told me how business had fallen off due to the pandemic. DC was a ghost town now, he said, with most people still working from home. People weren't using taxis to get to their workplaces anymore. 

Meeting the hotel guest born in Nigeria who padded out barefoot to the reception area of the Comfort Inn in search of bottled water. The tap water for drinking purposes in DC leaves a lot to be desired; it literally smells of whatever chemicals are used to disinfect the water. Apparently DC uses chloramine (a mixture of chlorine and ammonia). In any case, the water does not taste good at all, and bottled water is used by most people. The Nigerian man was very friendly and told me about his college years traveling around Europe with his friends. He loved France and French food, especially baguettes. He spoke the Queen's English after having lived in London for a while, and told me "I am a proud American" when I asked him where he lives now. The hotel itself was worn down and had seen better days; for 180 dollars a night I had expected more. The staff at reception and in the breakfast room were friendly so no complaints there. But I'm glad I only stayed there one night. 

Visiting with three of my cousins while I was in the DC area: two of them (Karen and Robert) live not far from DC proper, whereas my other cousin Cathy lives in Charlottesville VA. It was wonderful to spend time with each of them and their spouses. I visited with Karen first, then with Robert, and then with Cathy. We ate at some great restaurants and had some memorable conversations. I hope to be able to visit them again in a few years. 

Taking the (very comfortable) bus from Union Station to Charlottesville VA. When I was on the bus, I saw a road sign near Culpeper VA: "Let Jesus make you a fisherman. You catch 'em, he cleans 'em". 

Listening to the busker Daniel Kepel in Charlottesville while eating lunch outdoors with Cathy and her husband Scott. Kepel played some requests, among them Bill Withers' 'Ain't No Sunshine'. A very enjoyable afternoon. 

Traveling back to New York via Amtrak. Amtrak has a 'quiet car', where no cell phone conversations are allowed. The quiet car is a dream come true for passengers like me who don't want to listen to people yack on their phones ad nauseam about nothing. I listened to music, did some reading and writing, and otherwise enjoyed the scenery until we got into Penn Station in Manhattan. 

Once I get to NY, I'm back in familiar territory. I don't spend much time in Manhattan anymore, but as I was walking from Penn Station to Grand Central Station to get the train to Tarrytown, I felt the 'rush' of the city, the good rush, the rush that makes you want to work hard and achieve. When you are in Manhattan, it's hard not to feel that the 'world is your oyster' or that 'the sky's the limit'. It's not until you've worked there a while that you see the down sides of this way of thinking. But when you're young, it's a fun place to be, and I have good memories of having gone to school and worked there for ten years. 

When I was on the bus to White Plains so that I could pick up my rental car, there was a sign in Spanish that had to do with wearing masks to prevent Covid infections. I am relearning Spanish at present and was happy that I was able to read and understand this sign with no problems. 

Once I get to the NY area, I get together with my sister Renata and her husband Tim and my dear friends Jean, Maria, Gisele, Stef and Jola. Sometimes we hang out in Tarrytown down by the Hudson River and have a picnic, or visit the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, or eat lunch in downtown Mamaroneck. This time around Jean, Maria and I visited Olana (Olana State Historic Site (ny.gov), the Hudson River home of Frederic Church, who was perhaps the most well-known artist of the Hudson River School of American landscape painters. I usually stay at Jean's house until I leave for Oslo again. Being with her is always like coming home; I feel safe. Whenever it seems as though the world is coming apart at the seams, I think of her and my closest friends and the world is alright again.