Reflections on pride

I've always pondered this--the idea of pride being one of the seven deadly sins. Pride in one's appearance, in one's intellectual acumen, in one's success--cannot be a bad thing, and I don't think this type of pride is what is being referred to. Or I think that one can distinguish between good pride (for example in the things above), and bad pride. Bad pride can be defined as an excess of pride, for example, pride in one's appearance can spill over into vanity and narcissism, pride in one's intellectual acumen can become an attitude of 'know-it-all' (besserwisser), and pride in one's success can become hubris. Hubris is excessive pride, foolish pride, arrogance. Hubris tells others that your worth, your intelligence, and your wellbeing are more important than theirs. Hubris is a feeling of superiority, of haughtiness, that leads you to treat others as less important than you. Carried to an extreme, it can lead to indifference to others (why should I care about them since they are not worthy of my attention) or to abuse of others (for the same reason--others are less or not important). Hubris leads people to selfishness because the only people who matter are themselves.

Christian literature is not always clear about such distinctions. For example, we are told 'not to hide our light under a bushel basket', which I interpret to mean that one should not hide one's God-given talents behind a sense of false humility. We should be proud of our talents and gifts; each of us has unique talents and gifts that should make us proud. So false humility is as bad as excessive pride in my book. If you hide your talents, you deprive the world of them, and they could have helped the world become a better place. If you are a good writer, artist, actress, and you touch people's lives because of these talents and have a sense of pride about that, that is a good thing, not a bad thing. The bad thing would be to pretend you were talentless in the name of humility. But excessive pride leads one to think that one's talents supersede those of others, that without you the world would fall apart, that you are what holds it all together. If we are talented and gifted, we come to a point when we realize that those talents and gifts were supported and nurtured by others, behind the scenes. We are born with talents and work hard at developing them, but our home/school environments also contribute to their development and evolution. In other words, we are part of a team of supporters--family, teachers, coaches--who nurture and challenge us to be better. Excessive pride leads us to believe that we have accomplished what we have accomplished, by ourselves. That leads us to conclude that we know best, that we do not really need others, and that leads to arrogance and indifference toward others.

Things money can't buy

My fervent wish is that the idiots and assholes of the world who think that money can buy everything, would understand this and take it to heart. The problem is that they won't, and the world will continue on its road toward obliteration. Because if it's not a nuclear war that will end life in the world as we know it, it will be nature's revenge on us in the form of a pandemic or plague or extreme weather conditions, for our abuse of this planet in the name of greed (the incessant need for more money).

The same goes for those who are obsessed with power, who think that power and pushing people around can create a better world. Harassment and abuse have never led to anything good. Unfortunately, wealth and power often go together, and it's not a good mixture.


 

Fascinating blog post from NY State Parks and Historic Sites

I subscribe to their blog, and this post appeared in my emails yesterday. I wanted to share it with you. It's entitled 'Growing the Future in Gilded Age Greenhouses'
https://nystateparks.blog/2020/01/21/growing-the-future-in-gilded-age-greenhouses/#like-8286

Visiting the Sonnenberg area of NY State and these greenhouses is on my bucket list. I'll have to save it for when I have more time to spend in NY State (when I'm retired, in other words!).

Anything having to do with gardens, plants, seeds, greenhouses, state parks, conservation and preservation hooks me immediately and makes me happy. Reading about this today made my day. It helps to obliterate all the bad and depressing news in the world.

A winter garden

It has been a mild winter this year in Oslo, and I'm not complaining. Temperatures have hovered around the 40 degree F mark, and even when we've had days when they've dipped to freezing followed by snow, the temperatures rise again, it rains, and the snow disappears. These are the winters I like, and I hope there are more of them in the coming years. 

I visited the garden this morning after mass. A beautiful sunny day...... I was the only one in the garden except for the birds, who were merrily chirping as though it was already spring. They were out en masse, as were the crows, seagulls, and magpies. And on my walk home, the ducks were out also. Yes, ducks. The mallards have returned to the water pools at Alexander Kiellands plass, and they were having a great time. 

It was nice to be back in the garden; there was frost on the grass and on the leaves of the perennials that are just waiting to bloom anew once spring comes. It can't come too soon for my taste. My fervent hope for the coming garden season is that it won't rain as much as it did last year. Too much rain is not good for a garden, just as too little rain is not good either. 

Feeling invisible

I've been reflecting on the dynamics that occur in conversations between men and women, either personal conversations between two people of the opposite sex or in mixed-gender social settings. The personal conversations that I can comment on are those I've had, or those that women friends of mine have had that they have commented on to me. In social settings, I am an active participant in the general conversations about society, politics, and work, but at one recent gathering, I stopped talking toward the end of the evening and just observed the people in the room. It was interesting to intuit the dynamics present in the room. During the early part of the evening, I observed an egalitarian interflow of ideas and comments between men and women, but toward the end of the evening it changed, and I'm not sure why, perhaps because the men let down their guard more? Perhaps because the topics of conversation became more serious? It is this change in dynamics that interested me as an observer and as a woman. The thing that struck me was that the men did not follow up on the women's opinions and thoughts, not in the same way as they did with the men present. Their comments and in-depth talk were mostly aimed at the other men. Perhaps this was the case simply because they felt more comfortable discussing with men because it is a generational thing--most of the men are in their early sixties or older. It can be a generational thing--that men are more preoccupied with impressing (and possibly competing with) the other men in the room as has so often been the case through the centuries, so that listening to women is an afterthought and not a priority. I liked all of the men in the room, so my observations have nothing to do with not liking them. It's just that it felt as though they were accommodating women's opinions without agreeing with or sanctioning them, and they did not follow up on women's comments, or if they did, they did so in a dominating way which is a sure way to end a conversation. In other words, they did not engage further, and it felt as though that was a deliberate choice. It made me wonder if this was because they do not consider women to be as important as they are (generational?). I have never felt that way in conversation with men who are thirty or forty years younger than the men at this gathering. It is a strange way to feel, and the reason I felt that way is because I did not feel comfortable after a while expressing my opinions, and I noticed one other woman give up the fight to be heard as well. What happens is that you open your mouth to comment on a particular topic of interest, and you are suddenly overridden by a man who does not listen to your comments or wait until you finish speaking before he jumps in with his opinion or thought in a dominating overriding fashion. Or you open your mouth and your comment is ignored--essentially, not followed up. The fight to be heard is a question of how to deal with this type of behaviour from some of the men in the room. I noticed that the women were much more likely to listen to the men's comments and to let them finish talking before they commented. It felt strange to me, and at some point, it felt as though women were unwanted, even invisible. I may be overreacting, but the feeling was strong. Some male work colleagues over a certain age also behave in this way, whereas I rarely have that feeling with the women I converse with, which tells me that I have been lucky with my choice of female friends and female work colleagues with whom I converse. It makes me sad that men can dismiss women in this way, even though I know that it has gone on for centuries. It also makes me sad to think that perhaps this is another price that women have to pay for growing older in our society, that they are expected to know their place, take it, and be happy with it (sit down and be quiet). My mother used to say that getting older made her feel invisible. I share her view. But then ask me what she didn't do. The answer is--write in order to become visible.

Reflections on the new year so far

Since the new year started, the world has continued its downward spiral into chaos. Whether we end up in true chaos remains to be seen. Of course, one can look at it the other way--that everything that has happened is business as usual, or politics as usual. Who can say? Since the beginning of January, the American president took out a high-ranking Iranian general, Iran responded by bombing American military bases in Iraq, Iran's military shot down a commercial plane carrying innocent passengers using two missiles and killing all onboard, Iran withdrew from its nuclear treaty, there have been several earthquakes in Puerto Rico of all places, hurricanes along the English coast, Australia's bushfires are out of control and it's estimated that a billion animals have died in addition to nearly twenty-five people, Meghan and Harry (Megxit) have seceded from the British monarchy in order to pursue independent lives, the push for impeachment of the American president continues, 2020 is an election year for the American presidency, leading most to wonder how impeachment proceedings will affect election activities during the year, one of Norway's prominent young writers/artists who committed suicide on Christmas Day was buried on January 3rd in one of the saddest and rawest funeral services I have witnessed on national TV, climate change continues to dominate global conversations (as well it should), top companies in the USA and in Norway are having economic problems/going bankrupt leading them to close stores nationwide and lay off many people. And the list goes on. It's as though all the world's loans and bills 'came due' simultaneously, meaning that we now have to pay back and pay out in full for our greed and foolishness and ostrich-like behaviour.

We cannot afford to keep our heads stuck in the sand any longer. We cannot shove the problems before us for the next generation to solve. Greed has caused so many problems, globalism likewise. The quest for greater profits, large company mergers, global solutions for what should be national solutions, global expansion at all costs in the name of profit, is killing the world slowly. Respect for the life around us has taken a back seat. We cannot continue on this path.

I have talked to many people, young and middle-aged, about these problems, and most agree that we need to change the way we live our lives. It doesn't have to be dramatic, but if everyone does their part, there will be noticeable change on a global scale. We can start by living simpler lives, walking and exercising more, eating less (and cutting down on meat consumption), buying less food and not throwing it away when it is unused, buying what we need instead of buying impulsively, watching less TV, not buying new cell phones and new cars every year or every other year, repairing appliances instead of tossing them (this also means that companies must step up to the plate and do their part to manufacture appliances that last longer than five years, in other words, they need to eliminate built-in obsolescence in the name of profit). We can cut down/eliminate our use of plastic bags, and try not to buy bottled water (although this means that community water purification systems have to function optimally at all times in order to provide drinkable tap water). We need national healthcare in the USA that is affordable and equitable for all. We need to elect politicians who think this way, who are interested in preserving the planet, who are not hypocrites when it comes to how they live, who are service-oriented and kind people. We need more Jimmy and Rosalynn Carters, who have spent their retirement years building homes for others, not just thinking of themselves or traveling around the country lecturing and earning millions for their lectures so that they can buy fancy homes. We need politicians who are willing to serve and to inspire their constituents. We need more respect for others and less argumentativeness, we need more service-oriented attitudes and less self-entitlement, we need more generosity and less greed, we need more kindness and less bullying and hate talk. We need to get on the same page in order to solve the problems in front of us; the solutions are not black and white. We cannot rely on religion to show us the way, because many religions have their own internal problems to solve first before they can preach to their followers about how they should live. In short, we cannot wait for others to show us how to live; the changes must come from us, from the grassroots, and move upward. It should not take a world war or a pandemic to force us into the action necessary to change us and to save our planet.

Adjusting to continuous change

This coming year promises a good number of changes in my workplace. Most of them will be physical, in the sense that they involve physically moving several research groups and equipment from one floor to another floor in our building. That was decided a while ago, but as always, it takes a while for changes to be effectuated. The physical move will happen in March. Those research groups remaining behind will be sharing lab space with the routine functions and services in my department; those functions and services need more room, so the next major change and adjustment will involve how we share that space, how we discuss our needs amicably and find a solution that works for everyone. The reality however is that there is not nearly enough space for everyone, so some people are bound to be less satisfied than others with the agreed-upon solution.

Even if you decided to never actively adapt and change, to remain 'the same as you always were', you would never achieve that. Nothing stands still; all aspects of life and of work life change and will force themselves upon you. That is the nature of life. We are constantly adjusting to change, and it is best to stay open to change rather than fight it. The way research was done thirty years ago and the way it is done now are quite different. Thirty years ago it seemed as though everything about academic research science was more stable; now it seems more like big business that changes strategy every two to three years in order to maximize profits. When the daily stability of research life disappeared, it was difficult to adjust to that. After all, we were brought up on the idea that research needed stability, constancy, in order to thrive. In the 1990s, it was possible to work on one research project for ten years; you could get funding for one topic, e.g. apoptosis and cancer, and you had the time to experiment and to try new research plans. That is harder, if not impossible, nowadays; scientists change their research directions every three or four years in order to follow the trends of funding. Just in the cancer field alone, molecular genetics and genomics were trendy in the 1990s, as was apoptosis and cell death generally, then in the 2000s came cellular senescence, inflammation and its role in cancer, the search for cures for breast and prostate cancers, and the focus on many new and exciting techniques/technologies like microarray gene expression, RNA interference, knockout mice, and CRISPR. Immunotherapy to treat cancers has dominated research science for the past five or so years. So if you want funding and a career in academic science, you follow the current trends. That is what the younger scientists have learned; some of the older ones still fight against this reality.

It was easier to understand your role in a lab setting years ago--as a technician, PhD student, or postdoc. You knew you could rely on a group leader to guide you, and that group leader was often your mentor if you were a PhD student or postdoc. There were not multiple mentors as there are now. Your PhD years were not micromanaged by universities the way they are now. Thirty years ago the idea that you could be the lone scientist in the lab was encouraged; nowadays it is discouraged in favour of working as a team. If you want to work as an individual rather than in a team, if you want to promote and try out your own ideas, you are considered to be a non-team player, and that is anathema at present. The infrastructure of research science has also changed considerably; we share our workdays with IT personnel, administrators, middle-managers, accountants, among others. They were more behind the scenes thirty years ago. You won't get very far these days without the infrastructure of science. If you need lab consumables, you must deal with administrators and accounting people, because you are no longer allowed to order items on your own. You are no longer allowed to download any computer programs on your own; that is taken care of for you by the IT department, and the power they have to deny or approve specific programs can determine what may or may not get done in a research project.  

Academic science is big business now, with huge grant awards going to a small number of recipients. Those recipients often lead large research groups, e.g. centers of excellence. These large groups collaborate at the national and international levels with other large groups. Small research groups (four or five people) without national and international collaborators are not funded and eventually die away. That is the current strategy. If you don't like big business, you won't enjoy academic research science now. If you're young and you know this, the best thing you can do is to adjust your life accordingly--find another arena in which to use your talents and to shine. 

A new year of lovely days

My new year's wishes for my readers--a new year filled with 'lovely days'. Each of us has to find our own way to make our days lovely; there is no one way to achieve that. But one way to start is by remaining open to life and to people and all they offer, each day. And by finding that part of ourselves that stands apart from the societal pressures to conform, to stop thinking, to stop appreciating all the good that surrounds us. Happy New Year!

Lovely Day

Bill Withers, Studio Rio

When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: William Harrison Withers Jr. / Skip Scarborough

Lovely Day lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Golden Withers Music

The magic of Christmas trees

Putting up a Christmas tree is an important Christmas tradition in our house. I know people who don't put up a tree, and they always have good reasons for not doing so, but it wouldn't work for me. There is something about having a Christmas tree that adds to the Christmas spirit and ambience in our home. My husband and I have decided that we will put up a real tree for as long as we manage to carry one home from the Christmas tree market where we buy one each year (right down the hill from where we live). It usually doesn't take us long to pick one out; we like fir trees (edelgran in Norwegian), about six feet tall, and as symmetrical as possible when you twirl them.

But it is the magic that Christmas trees create, the beauty they add to a room or an outdoor space, that is an important part of Christmas each year. We always had a Christmas tree in our home when we were children, albeit an artificial tree since my parents weren't big on buying real trees. It wasn't until I moved to Norway that real trees became a part of Christmas. Our co-op board also buys a large real tree and puts it up in the courtyard. If it snows, it is always so pretty to look at, the golden lights shining through the glistening snow. Christmas magic, indoors and outdoors.....

A Christmas reminder to keep life simple

Today, Christmas Day, we celebrate a man whose entire life was lived simply. His humble beginnings in a stall, surrounded by shepherds and sheep, are testament to that. His message was also simple-- 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength'. Also-- 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Simple words, and yet how difficult they are to practice sometimes. In the midst of our complicated lives, it's good to be reminded of what really matters. That is the message of Christmas.

The pressure to have an opinion about everything

We are giving up our subscription to the daily newspaper, the paper version that gets delivered to our door each day, as of the start of the new year. I have mixed feelings about doing so; on the one hand, I want to support newspapers and a free press, on the other hand, I have grown weary of modern journalism and its insistence on having to dissect everything ad nauseam in order to 'present the facts', and on its insistence that everyone has to have an opinion about every issue reported on. Their contribution to the polarization (especially political) we see in society at present is considerable. They are no longer neutral purveyors of the news. The fact of the matter is that many newspapers and TV stations are partisan, supporting either liberal or conservative sides, and no matter how they try to disguise that they are not able to do so. Their partisan stance always shines through whatever is reported. And that is the major reason why I won't miss the daily newspaper, and why I have reduced the time I spend watching TV news. I find both very stressful; they 'invade' the peace of daily life that is so hard to come by, and they force readers and viewers to take sides, to have an opinion about everything (regardless of whether readers and viewers are well-informed about specific issues or not). The most stressful thing I know is people who spout their (often-uninformed) opinions about everything under the sun, but if you ask them how they know what they say is true, their answer is that they read it in one or another newspaper, or worse, on social media. Surprisingly, intelligent people fall into this trap as well; 'I read it/heard it in the news' (therefore it must be true) is a standard comment in so many conversations and discussions. What surprises me is that this comment often ends an interesting discussion, because the person who utters it expresses little to no interest in exploring a specific issue further, in other words, no interest in going deeper, under the surface, to learn about whether what they profess to be true or false, is really so. 

When I am asked my opinion about a specific issue these days, I often answer 'I don't know' or 'I don't have an opinion'. This is the truth. Often I don't have an opinion about a specific issue because I am not informed about it, and I don't want to be pressured into uttering an opinion I neither stand for nor have reflected upon. The latter is very important to me these days; I want the time to reflect on the issues that come my way. I also appreciate the freedom to reject issues that do not interest me. In other words, I am not interested in having an opinion about absolutely everything. Firstly, it is impossible to have an opinion about absolutely everything, and secondly, having an opinion about absolutely everything is characteristic of superficiality. If you ask me about a scientific issue, I can most likely answer your question or have an opinion about it, e.g. vaccination or cancer treatment, because I have studied and worked in science for many years and consider myself reasonably informed. If you ask me about a political issue, I can tell you what I may prefer in politics, but I cannot say that my answer is an informed opinion, because I know very little about politics, and it would be stupid of me to argue stubbornly for my way of thinking. I would have to concede to politicians or those who are well-informed about politics in a political discussion. The problem nowadays is that few people are willing to say 'I don't know'. Few people are willing to listen to the experts tell them about a specific issue. Few people are willing to really learn about an issue. Many people will argue and stubbornly continue to argue for their point of view in the face of truth and facts that prove their opinions to be false. If you want to be informed, there are many ways to get informed, but you have to be willing to invest the time needed to read and to reflect upon what you read. You have to be willing to talk to the experts and read what they have written. And if you want to remain neutral in a partisan world, you need to be informed about what both sides stand for. Actually, many issues have multiple sides, not just two sides. It is entirely possible to remain neutral, to want a non-partisan world without it necessarily being an overly politically-correct world. Neutrality and political correctness are not the same thing. Neutrality (at least for me) implies the desire to acknowledge that there are multiple sides to an issue and to reflect upon the associated pros and cons. One will always have opinions about some issues important to oneself; one cannot have opinions about absolutely every societal issue. 

All things Christmas

We are a week away from Christmas, more or less. It seems as though we've been on the road to Christmas since the middle of November, and as always, the weeks have flown by. Each week seems to be filled with things that have to be done, in addition to all of the work projects that have piled up. It's always like this right before Christmas and before summer vacation--the last minute rush to get things done. We put up our Christmas tree early this year--last week in fact--and I hope that it lasts until around January 6th when we take it down. We haven't gone over to an artificial tree yet, but we have talked about it; maybe in a few years. I bought LED outdoor string lights for the balcony, and they look very nice. I wish I could get a good night photo of them, but I don't seem to be able to--the photos end up too blurry. One of the nice things about LED lights is that they use very little electricity, so many people have decorated their balconies and homes with string lights. The end result is that there is more light in the darkness than usual. This is the dark time of the year in northern Europe, but it doesn't feel that way because so many people are using LED lights to light up the darkness.

It will be nice to have some time off for the Christmas holidays. I will catch up on my reading, sleeping, and baking. And I will try to take more photos during this season…….

Christmas tree in the courtyard

our Christmas tree

the amaryllis has already bloomed

Romantic Christmas movies

This year, two Norwegian channels are showing American romantic Christmas movies, either produced by Hallmark or UPTV. One channel showed them all through November; the other has decided to show them all through December. Interestingly enough, there seems to be very little overlap, because I have been taping many of them and they are all different movies, albeit with similar themes and plots. It's hard to remember the names of the movies for exactly that reason, but they mostly have the following plots--girl meets boy but has no time for a relationship because her career takes up most of her life (Hallmark and UPTV are not anti-feminists), but circumstances are such that they either run into each other randomly from time to time, or they are friends who don't want to ruin the friendship by pursuing romance, or they end up working together on a project, or boy pursues girl in a focused slow way in order to win her over, or both figure out over the course of the movie that they belong together. Whatever the plot, the endings are pretty much the same--boy and girl end up together and find happiness. They are feel-good movies for the most part, and perfect TV watching right before bedtime--nothing too heavy, violent, or deep.

You might think that I am going to criticize these types of movies--but you'd be wrong. I rather want to praise them, if for no other reason than that they add a certain lightness/goodness to a world filled with the opposite. They are reminders that the majority of ordinary people go about their ordinary lives, working, meeting a potential spouse, raising families, visiting parents and good friends. I'd rather watch two young adults find love and happiness than watch two adults destroy each other and their marriage and children, even though the latter can absolutely be good drama and provide the potential to learn from the tragedies of others. I'd rather watch the characters in these movies struggle to remain decent human beings in the face of unfairness and injustice. Many of them take the high road in circumstances that would cause others to take the low road. They may not be the most realistic of movies. But if you asked most couples how they met, I bet you'd find that many of them have some interesting stories to tell of love found, love lost, and love found again. Sometimes love is lost for good; these movies deal with that aspect as well. Friendships get them through those times. And I can relate, because friendships are very important, married or not. My mother used to tell me that I should never give up my women friends, even if I married. And I never have. One of the nicest of these Christmas films that I saw this past week dealt with just that--three close childhood friends, two of whom moved away from their hometown in order to pursue careers, and who end up returning to live there after the third friend gets divorced and is in danger of losing her house--a house that holds special memories for these friends. It's a touching movie, with a title that doesn't do it justice--Christmas on Holly Lane--you'd never know that it really is about the blessings of friendship to get you through the tough times. I really liked it.

Some of my favorite films thus far are, in addition to Christmas on Holly Lane:

• A Shoe Addict's Christmas (2018)
• Christmas Perfection (2018)
• Christmas Getaway (2017)
• A Perfect Christmas (An Unexpected Christmas) (2016)
• A Puppy for Christmas (2016)
• Just in Time for Christmas (2015) 
• The Spirit of Christmas (2015)
• A Christmas Kiss (2011)

I'll add to the list as I happily plow my way through the list of taped films during the next few weeks......

Update December 2021--here are some new films that I've enjoyed:

• A Dream of Christmas (2016)
• A Heavenly Christmas (2016)
• Christmas in Vienna (2020) 

A long road and the journey along it

Twenty years ago, I defended my doctoral work, after six long years of toil in the lab and in my office writing up the results of my hard work. While I no longer work in the lab full-time, I am and have been responsible for students (PhD and Masters) who do. One of the PhD students is finishing up her own work and hopes to submit her thesis early next year. We got to talking recently about the long journey that makes up the entirety of doctoral work. You don't reflect so much upon the journey when you are experiencing it, but when you are close to finishing or are finished (or are twenty years down the road), you realize just what an incredible and strange journey it's been. As the Grateful Dead sing "Lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been" (from their song Truckin'). The PhD journey is difficult, frustrating, tears-inducing, overwhelming, nerve-wracking, as well as intellectually-stimulating, mind-expanding, and rewarding on so many levels. When you're done, you realize what you have accomplished, and you realize mostly that the journey is about persistence. If you persist, you'll get there. There are hindrances along the way--demotivating mentors, indifferent mentors, projects that don't work out and need to be abandoned in favor of others, bad prioritizing, journals that refuse your articles, lack of funding--the list is long. If you persist in the face of all the hindrances, you'll realize that doctoral work is a microcosm of what life is all about. Nowadays a PhD takes about four years to complete with a requirement for at least two published articles and one manuscript; back in my day it took about six years with a requirement for at least five published articles. Four or six years in the space of an average lifespan is really not a lot of years, but when you're going through it, it can feel like forever.

Persistence is the key word for much of life. There are many hindrances along life's road. Some of them threaten to overwhelm us, and for some people, perhaps the hindrances are too many and they give up. But most people do not, and once you reach middle age, you realize that the journey is about persisting and overcoming obstacles. It is also about enjoying the ride, but happiness is rather fleeting, and is not a goal in and of itself. If there is happiness, it is found in the journey itself. So many students have said that to me, that they realized how much they really did enjoy the difficulties they faced, even though in the face of them, they complained and were frustrated. I know, because I was too. I know too that I have dealt with many obstacles since my PhD years, and not all of them led to pleasant places even though I overcame them. But in the midst of the unhappiness, there was the journey, the road, the way forward and the way out. I persisted, struggled, and made my way along the road, like so many before me and many that will come after me. Like my student now, who has had many more obstacles than I ever had. But she has persisted, and come to discover that she likes research, so much so that she can envision a future where she will make room for the intellectual pursuits of research. The funny thing about difficult journeys; you insist that you just want to get to the end of the journey, but when you do, you realize one thing. Ursula Le Guin says it best:
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

Rage and fear in nursing homes

The Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten published a rather unsettling article in its A-magazine this weekend about violence within elderly care centers/nursing homes in Norway. At first glance, I thought it would be about abuse of elderly residents by nursing home employees. This is not unheard of, and has been written about for a number of years now. No, this article was about abuse of elderly residents and nursing home caregivers by fellow elderly residents, and it is more widespread than one might think. The nurses and care workers do not report all of the incidents that occur, hence this type of violence is under-reported. Many of the violent residents have been diagnosed with dementia, and even though they are cognitively-challenged, they still retain their physical strength and their voices, both of which they use against their fellow residents and the caregivers. In some cases, the violence was directed against visitors, who ended up terrified. Most of the violence has to do with the rage some of these residents feel, most likely rage against their illness, their mental incapacity, the fact that they know they are in a nursing home and perhaps feel like prisoners, their sense of having lost their identity--the list is long. The point is that their dementia makes them angry, makes them rage, makes them act out, and when they do, much of it takes the form of physical violence, but also verbal abuse (yelling and swearing). Some of these residents throw glasses, cups, chairs; others hold others down, slap them, punch them, kick them, bite them, spit at them, and try to break the fingers of the care workers. Still others (men) were sexually abusive toward some of the elderly women living in the homes. In most cases, the care centers and nursing homes were understaffed, especially at night when some of the demented residents wandered through the halls and into and out of other residents' rooms. It is up to the residents to decide if they want to lock their doors or not; the nursing homes cannot make this decision for them without their permission unless violent situations such as described in the article arise. These situations cannot lead to any repercussions in terms of prison sentences either, since demented individuals cannot be prosecuted.

Any way you look at it, this is an impossible situation. If employees and non-violent residents end up terrorized by violent residents in nursing homes, it will not end well for anyone. I can envision a not-to-distant future where few to no young people will choose to work as nurses or aides in nursing homes. The number of elderly with dementia is predicted to double by 2050, thus need for round-the-clock care will only increase. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that if something is not done to tackle the problem, it will not go away. I don't know what the policies are for tranquilizing such people, but it might be one way to proceed in order to keep them calm. I don't know how elderly with dementia are currently treated (with drugs), but at least if they are tranquilized they cannot be a danger to themselves or others. I know it sounds harsh, but the alternatives are harsher. If nursing homes end up being more understaffed than they are now, they will close, and then it will be up to individual families to take care of these violent demented individuals (most of whom were men in the Aftenposten article, but there were some few women). I feel sorry for them, but they cannot be allowed to destroy the peace that the non-violent elderly deserve after a long life. The latter deserve respect and the right to live out their lives in peace and without fear of being harassed or physically assaulted by fellow residents or anyone else. I applaud Aftenposten for raising this issue, which is most difficult to discuss and even more difficult to solve.

Apparently, this is a global problem, as I have seen online. In other countries, there are special nursing homes for elderly with severe (and aggressive) dementia. Anger is a part of dementia, and in other countries tranquilizers are often prescribed for such people. But they do not always take their medications. So it remains a problem--how to deal with these elderly, how to respect them but at the same time limit their aggression, and how to protect the non-violent residents and caregivers.