Another great Pearls Before Swine--The Game of Covid Life

 Pretty much sums it up!

The modern dance film Ritual In Transfigured Time from 1946

I am a Friend of Untermyer Gardens (located in Yonkers New York), and I often receive emails from Stephen F. Byrns who is the President of the Untermyer Gardens Conservancy. He sent out an email this week that included this clip of a modern dance film from 1946 called Ritual in Transfigured Time by Maya Deren, who was an American experimental avant-garde filmmaker. Born in the Ukraine, she was also a choreographer, dancer, film theorist, poet, lecturer, writer, and photographer (info from Wikipedia). 

The reason Byrns included the film clip was because Deren filmed the dance at Untermyer Gardens. I found the film to be moving and quite mesmerizing, almost menacing in some places. I'd never heard of Deren before, but I'm glad I know about her now. 

Every now and then

 No words necessary.....

Update from the home front February 2022

It's been six months since I stopped working. Six peaceful months of not having to answer to someone else. Six months of reorganizing the way I look at my life and what I want to do with my free time. I don't think there was ever any doubt in my mind that I wanted to focus full-time on writing. So far that seems to be working out well. I just submitted a poetry collection (in Norwegian) to a publisher here in Oslo and am hoping for a positive response. If they don't want to publish it, I'll self-publish it as a Norwegian e-book and then I'll self-publish the English translation on Amazon. I've already translated all the poems into English so it's ready to go at any point. This poetry collection is entitled Movements Through the Landscape (Bevegelser gjennom landskapet in Norwegian). 

I've also finished writing my garden book as well as my book about growing up in Tarrytown NY. I started the latter well over ten years ago, but what with working full-time, personal challenges and other obligations, it's taken a while to finish it. Now I need to find a publisher for this book as well. I'm thinking about self-publishing my garden book. I tried to get a literary agent interested in it last summer but no go. The publishing world can be as elitist in many ways as the world of academia that I happily left behind. Once you get your foot in the door as a published author, your books continue to get published even though they may not be anywhere near as good as your last one. But that's life. As my friend's father used to say, don't let the turkeys get you down. Good advice. Another piece of good advice for building self-esteem and believing in yourself is to stay off social media. It's just a time-waster and a negative spiral that will drag you down. I'd cancel my social media accounts without any problem except that I have enjoyable contact with a number of American friends and family and I'd miss that. We'll see what time brings.

Here's to a productive 2022 for every creative soul I know. Creativity is hard work but it's incredibly rewarding, no matter what type of creativity it is. 

Wendell Berry's The Peace of Wild Things

I found this the other day online and it resonated with me. Wendell Berry is a well-known American poet who is a firm believer in the importance of man's connection to the land via small-scale farming, and who lives that belief. You can read more about him online here: Wendell Berry - Wikipedia

I loved this poem and wanted to share it with you. 

Men who leave and men who stay

We're back in Elena Ferrante territory today. Apologies to her for paraphrasing one of the book titles in her Neapolitan quadrilogy--Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay. I finished Days of Abandonment today; it was written in 2002, prior to the Neapolitan quadrilogy. The latter books are more riveting than Days of Abandonment, but Days of Abandonment has its riveting moments as well.

Men don't come off very well in Ferrante's books. They are mostly sexual predators at heart, constantly looking at other women, faithless, disloyal, and uncaring opportunists. They are not child-friendly nor are they really interested in family life. As Olga in Days of Abandonment says to Mario, who has abandoned her and their two children for a woman almost half his age (Carla), "you are an opportunist and a traitor". Which he is. Unfortunately he is not much more than that as written by Ferrante. The book is really about Olga and her breakdown after he leaves her. She must cope with all of the mess while taking care of her two children Gianni and Ilaria and the family dog Otto. She doesn't do a very good job of any of it and she knows it. Her identity unravels and she is forced to do the work of finding out who she is at the age of thirty-eight. She doesn't particularly like what she sees--a woman who gave up her writing career and her identity to marry Mario and have children. The roles of wife and mother became her identities. She thought her marriage was happy; perhaps it was. Even if marriages are happy, one partner can always be unfaithful and stay in the marriage, or be unfaithful and leave. Mario does both, actually. He starts his affair with Carla when she is still a teenager and leaves Olga for her when Carla turns twenty. He closes the door on one life and begins another. He does not tell Olga where he is or with whom he is living. She doesn't even get to know where he is living and does not find out about Carla until midway through the book. And then all the pieces come together for her. The description of her breakdown is disturbing and uncomfortable, perhaps as it should be, but it dragged on too long for my taste. Otto dies after being poisoned with something he ate that was laced with strychnine while Olga was out walking him in the park. Her son Gianni becomes ill with a high fever. She feels like she is falling apart. But this experience made its point. 'The only way out is through'. By the time Olga has gotten through it, she discovers she no longer loves Mario. It's as though she has stepped outside her own life and become an observer. She watches as her children visit Mario and meet Carla, she listens as they praise Carla, she eventually deals with Mario adult to adult, she reclaims her identity as a writer, she listens to him complain that his children will ruin his relationship with Carla, and she finds that she really doesn't care about any of it. She understands that Mario is an opportunist and a traitor and tells him that. She no longer needs him. In other words, she grew up. She grew out of a stale banal marriage that her husband abandoned years ago in secret. She stepped out from under Mario's shadow. The patriarchal dominance that has ruled her life for so long is gone. She finds that she does not want to date or be social or be with other men, at least not if she has no say in how these events are to happen. But eventually she starts an affair with the older musician who lives below her and that is how the book ends. She is nearly forty and she is writing again. The rest of it is just the life around her in all its messiness and discomfort. She learns to live with both. Days of Abandonment is an angry book, but the anger is directed both at Mario and at herself for giving up so much of herself. No one asked her to do that; she chose the prison of the wife/mother identity and became entrapped. She could have continued writing, she could have insisted that Mario help more with the children. So many things she should have done, but she didn't. She tries to understand why Mario left her, and discovers that she really didn't know him. She constructed the idea of a happy marriage around them; his idea of what their marriage was did not seem to interest her. Or if it did, she ignored his attempts to break free. But in any case, nothing she could have done would have kept Mario from straying. He was a man who leaves, not one who stays. 

There is autobiographical content in her novels to be sure. Exactly where, in which novels, remains a mystery and that's fine with me. Ferrante writes under a pseudonym for reasons that only she alone knows. This places most of the focus on the stories, where it should be. But after having read a number of her books--the Neapolitan quadrilogy, Troubling Love, Days of Abandonment, and The Lying Life of Adults, it seems to me that she has dealt with a number of emotional and psychological issues (traumas?) that have preoccupied her throughout her life, through her writing. Men cannot be trusted to be faithful since they leave their wives for other (often younger) women. Love is mostly about sexual bonding and less about loyalty and empathy. Mothers and daughters have volatile relationships; mothers love their daughters but are also jealous of them, particularly if the daughters have the chance to pursue higher education while they did not. The relationships between mothers and children generally are also precarious; they are fraught with frustration, weariness, irritation and real anger in addition to the maternal bond of love. Ferrante makes it clear that children change everything in a marriage, for better and/or for worse. Her ambivalence about the roles of wife and mother is clear throughout her writing. She has no qualms about bringing up the 'worse'--being chained to these small beings who demand attention and love, the banality of childcare, the reduction of woman's role to wife and mother and not much else. Ferrante is an Italian novelist but her novels are international bestsellers, which is illustrative of just how relevant her themes are on a global level. The interesting thing is that Days of Abandonment was written in 2002; it could have been written in the 1970s, when the women's movement was dealing with many of the same issues--women's identities, self-realization, marriage versus single life, having children or not. It tells me that the issues that women face now are not so much different than those they faced in the 1970s or those that our mothers faced in their generation. Men left their wives and children back in the 1950s and 1960s too, for many of the same reasons as they do now. If you ask them directly, they will answer selfishly. They want a woman who is sexually exciting, who is interested in sex. They want a woman who pays attention to them. What they want is often at odds with what they get from marriage and family, where there is often limited time for both sex and personal attention. And so it goes. As long as couples have children and children become the focus of marriage, there will always be men who leave and men who stay. And perhaps women who leave and women who stay. Perhaps it's worth repeating that one should choose one's life partner carefully and marry a person who is faithful and loving. But how do you know that when you marry? How can you be sure of how the future will turn out? You can't, so you do the best you can and commit to the choice you make. How it turns out is often the stuff of novels. 

My Brilliant Friend and The Gilded Age

Both My Brilliant Friend and The Gilded Age are currently streaming on HBO Max, and I have to say that I am immensely glad for that. Both series make for a perfect streaming experience in the midst of the wasteland that linear television has become. Linear television is a joke; there is nothing of real value being offered for viewers. Bad reality tv has won out completely; most shows have no substance and no real value and are quickly forgotten. What happened to tv shows like Everyone Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, King of Queens, The Sopranos, Sex and the City, Friends, and The X-Files to name just a few of the shows that were popular during the 1990s and early 2000s? I could continue, but it would be pointless, because it's unlikely that linear tv will ever invest in quality programming again. If there were no streaming channels, I'd quit watching tv altogether. 

That's not to say that everything on Netflix or HBO is of high quality. It's not. Many of the crime series on Netflix are trashy and easily forgettable. I have become much more selective about the crime series I watch; I simply don't want my mind contaminated by a continual rehashing of the same themes--rape, revenge, gratuitous violence, and so on. Women are nearly always the victims of rape and gratuitous violence. It gets repetitive after a while. Then there are the psycho films; woman meets man, woman marries man, man has a secret life/lover/past and a tendency toward violence. Woman ends up being the abused person until she grows a pair and fights back. I could write this stuff in my sleep. 

Thank God for the good series like My Brilliant Friend and The Gilded Age. I've written about My Brilliant Friend before (A New Yorker in Oslo: My Brilliant Friend is a brilliant HBO series (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com); I've read the entire Neapolitan quartet by Elena Ferrante and seen the first two seasons of My Brilliant Friend on HBO. Season 3 is now being shown and the quality of this season is just as good as the first two seasons. For me it is a perfect tv show; when I watch it I am transported to the world as it was in Naples Italy during the 1960s, a time when there was a lot of political upheaval and societal changes. The acting is excellent, likewise the storylines and the sets. I recommend the series for anyone looking for quality entertainment and a show that you will not easily forget. 

The Gilded Age was an era in US history extending from 1870 until around 1910. The HBO series focuses on the opulent lives of the New York City elite in the 1880s and the clash between 'old wealth' and 'new wealth'. The series is the creation of Julian Fellowes who was the creator, writer and executive producer of the multiple award-winning ITV series Downton Abbey (2010–2015) (info from Wikipedia). It has a Downton Abbey feel to it, but transferred to the fast-moving society of Manhattan. It is quality tv all the way, with very good storylines, sets, and acting. It mostly shows the rich as rather petty, snobby and vindictive, in other words, it's a soap opera offering quality entertainment. I've watched four episodes so far and am hooked. 

The Mixed Metaphor Marriage by Wiley Miller

 Another winner, Non Sequitur by Wiley.......

A commentary on pandemic mandates

This New Yorker cartoon by Peter Kuper from February 4th made me laugh. Perfect commentary on some of the pandemic-related stupidity we see around us. 

Todd Rundgren - Hello It's Me (1972)

Just a beautiful, classic song. Thank you to And Just Like That for using the song in such a poignant way. Raw and emotional scenes between Carrie and Big, not easily forgotten.  

And just like that, Big died

And just like that, I cried. I knew Big's death was coming, because it's all anyone who's watched And Just Like That (the Sex and the City reboot) has been talking about. It's been discussed on social media and media generally. He died of a heart attack after training on a Peloton machine, Peloton got involved and then uninvolved, and then the entire issue died once Chris Noth who plays Mr. Big ended up in real trouble with women who have claimed he sexually assaulted them years ago. But it is a testament to both Chris Noth and Sarah Jessica Parker (who plays Carrie) that they could enact such a moving scene--Carrie coming home to find her husband close to death. It follows earlier sequences that show Carrie and Big interacting at home, making dinner together, listening to music--Todd Rundren's Hello It's Me, Big singing along to the song, and both acting lovingly toward each other. They were finally happy, enjoying married life, doing the things that happily-married couples do. That's why the scene where she finds him slumped on the floor was so emotional and raw, it was preceded by happiness of a special kind, the kind of happiness that was the reward for years of pain and waiting. Carrie waited a long time for Big to acknowledge that he loved her. 

The reboot itself has been painstakingly dissected and either praised or panned. I've watched three episodes so far, and the first one was by far the most moving. I'm sure there's a lot to criticize but I'm not in the mood to do so. I'm in the mood to praise the series for what it gets right, because there are certainly things it doesn't get right. But the woke reviewers who demand complete social and racial awareness/relevance in every episode need to remember one thing--this show was always a fantasy show for many people. It wasn't meant to be a 'deep' or relevant show. I know many people who didn't like the show because it was not a real depiction of the lives of single women in Manhattan. The original show was about four friends living in Manhattan who worked, made decent livings, but who always had more than enough money for clothing, shoes, eating out, wine, expensive vacations, and whatnot. I don't think I ever heard any of them say they couldn't afford something. They dated men and talked about the men they dated and the sex they had; they married and divorced and then married again. There was never a dearth of male suitors waiting in the wings for these women. That's not reality for a lot of women. But a focus on reality wasn't what viewers required; I loved the show because it showed how four women remained friends through thick and thin, who were pretty much always there for each other. Men came and went, but the friendships survived. That was what was truly real about the show; when you have women friends like these four had, you know you are blessed. The Sex and the City films were a bit over the top, especially the second one. But I challenge you to prove to me that any of the adventure/crime thriller/drama films starring our reigning male heroes (Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, Dwayne Johnson, Tom Cruise, Daniel Craig, to name a few) are films that depict real-life. Get over it. They're fantasy films, pure and simple. We accept them as entertainment, knowing that most men will not be hanging off planes trying to save humanity, or jumping off buildings, or surviving being shot at by automatic weapons. We don't require these films to be 'real' and woke. These films are rather silly as well, yet we accept them. It's in that spirit that I watched the original Sex and the City series. I enjoyed the escapist fantasies of the lives these women led. 

The series was criticized for portraying independent single women whose lives revolved around having men in them. But the show never pandered to those who thought it should be about women who didn't need men at all. Because the reality of life for most women is that their lives often do revolve around men in one way or another. And many women make foolish choices when it comes to men; many make stupid mistakes as well (sleeping with men too soon, that sort of thing). When they're older, they may look back and regret that they did both, but the fact remains that these choices and mistakes are part of their past, part of who they are. They learned from them and moved on. We cannot require perfect women, any more than we can require perfect men. There is no perfect world. What does exist is forgiveness, of others and of ourselves. 

And that leads me to the few things that the series could omit. Some of them are the cringe-inducing scenes where Miranda (played by Cynthia Nixon) tries to show that she's not a racist. She's trying too hard, and that is rather out of character for Miranda, who always seemed to be the sensible one before. So far these are the only scenes that I've wanted to fast-forward. But I haven't, because I'm giving the series a chance and trying to understand why they're included at all. Why can't there just be important black characters without all the hoopla, as was the case in the first Sex and the City film (Carrie's assistant Louise, played by Jennifer Hudson)? There's no need to try so hard to make it all so relevant; just introduce the characters naturally and it will be fine.

And now I've seen all ten episodes. All I can say is that the show dragged me back into their messy lives again and I'm better for it. Watching it was cathartic in some ways. Perhaps you need to have lost a loved one to death in order to relate to it on some level. I don't know if there will be a season 2. Even if there isn't, season 1 did a bang-up job of reintroducing us to Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte. There are critics who wrote that the show was too sad, too flat, lacking fun, and lacking sex. I disagree. I'm not sure what those reviewers wanted, but Big was a huge part of Carrie's life, and to make a new show that honors the death of a loved one, grieving and trying to find meaning in life again needs to be applauded, not panned. But I think it's because you either like the show and the characters, or you don't. I happen to be one of those who loved the original show and the first movie (not the second). The reboot deals with the lives of these characters who are now in their 50s, with all that entails--menopause, teenage children, sexless marriages, happy marriages, childless marriages, not being on the same page, new friends, old friends, and just change that is part of life. Change plays a big role in the reboot, not surprisingly. Miranda changes (divorces Steve and falls in love with a queer nonbinary stand-up comedian and podcast host), Charlotte's life changes (her daughter Rose changes her name to Rock and does not want to be labeled a girl, a boy, a nonbinary, Jewish, or a New Yorker), and Carrie's life changes (Big dies and the rug is pulled out from under her). The show would have been roundly criticized if Carrie had just bounced back from Big's death and went out dancing a month later. Real life isn't like that. It takes her a year to grieve, and the last episode ends with her taking his ashes to Paris to spread them in the river Seine from the Pont des Arts bridge where he found her at the end of the original series. I wish Big could have made a final appearance but that was not to be. I think Sarah Jessica Parker did a great job with a tough storyline for Carrie. She made it real, emotional, raw, and heartbreaking at times. Just like real life. Perhaps the objections of the reviewers lie there. This time around the show was more like real-life. I want more of that, and they want less of it. That's fine, we can agree to disagree. 

Voodoo by Chungking

Another favorite of mine--Voodoo by Chungking from 2005, with lyrics. The vocalist is Jessie Banks, and she's got a great voice. 

Voodoo

I feel strange
Dancing again
Next to you
It's your voodoo
I won't let my eyes well up with tears
Seems like yesterday
It's been a hundred years
How you doin', what's been goin' on?
Can't believe I've been away for so long
And I feel if I let ya
Something good's gonna get ya
So I gotta decide
And I'm telling ya somethings
Always better than nothing
Go on give it a try
Never mind lookin' stupid
'Cause there's always a new kid
And you're just gettin' old
Gonna be who I used to
'Cause I don't wanna lose you
And tonight's gettin' cold
Oh, shouldn't be by myself
Oh, don't wanna be myself
I feel strange
Laughing again
Feel brand new
It's your voodoo
I can see what you're saying
'Bout the game that we're playing
No one said it was cool
And I'm tagging along
I don't know where we belong
It used to be next to you
Are you looking at her?
Tell me, would you prefer to be with somebody else?
Come on, give me something
'Cause I'm waiting for loving
Shouldn't be by myself
Oh, shouldn't be by myself
Oh, don't wanna be myself
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, shouldn't be by myself
Oh, don't wanna be myself
Oh, shouldn't be by myself
(fade)

Twilight World by Swing Out Sister

Twilight World

Swing Out Sister

Time out
World in a hurry
There's more love than money changing hands

Lights out
Thinking out loud
Turn your back on the world outside

Night thoughts
No one can share
As darkness breaks through another day

Secrets
Talking out loud
Silence waits just a dream away

Forget lonely crowds, unfriendly faces
They'll soon become familiar places
Before too long, before too long

Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
You're living in a twilight world
Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
Don't give in to the twilight world

Time out
World in a hurry
There's more love than money changing hands

Lights out
Thinking out loud
Turn your back on the world outside

Forget lonely crowds, unfriendly faces
They'll soon become familiar places
Before too long, before too long

Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
You're living in a twilight world
Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
Don't give in to the twilight world

Forget lonely crowds, unfriendly faces
They'll soon become familiar places
Before too long, before too long

Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
You're living in a twilight world
Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
Don't give in to the twilight world

Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
You're living in a twilight world
Don't be fooled by love songs and lonely hearts
Don't give in to the twilight world

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Martin Jackson / Corinne Drewery / Andrew Connell

Twilight World lyrics © Union Square Music Songs Ltd.

After Hours by Swing Out Sister

Swing Out Sister is one of my favorite groups from the 1980s. Their album It's Better to Travel from 1987 is a masterpiece. I bought it as an LP and it got a lot of play time on my stereo back then. I just downloaded some of the songs from that album onto my iPhone; one of them is called After Hours and it's a beautiful song, sung by the vocalist Corinne Drewery who has an incredible voice. Here are the lyrics:

After Hours

Swing Out Sister

Day time surrenders
And the shadows fall
Your cigarette lingers
You spent the night alone
With no one at all
Another mellow mood
And the silence calls
Another fleeting glance
Another call long distance
To no one at all
No one at all
Day time surrenders
And the shadows call
Your cigarette lingers
You spend the night alone
With no one at all
After hours, after hours

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Andrew John Connell / Corinne Drewery / Martin Boyd Jackson

After Hours lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Remembering my brother

My brother Ray died seven years ago today. I still remember the shock of hearing about his death. I was at work and it was all I could do to gather together my belongings, call my husband, and find my way home. Seven years. So much has happened in that space of time. Too much to write about here; there is a lifetime of sadness that has occurred during that time. However, his two children seem to have survived the tragedies that unfolded around them during these years and are now flourishing. Ray would have been so proud of them both. 

I published a poetry collection in 2019 entitled Cemetery Road dealing with his death and with death generally (https://tinyurl.com/muxk95hb). One of the poems in this collection is called Photo of You in a Manhattan Café . I wrote it in 2017, two years after his death, and am including it here. 

And on this day, the second anniversary

Of your untimely death

A long-buried photo of you surfaced

Causing me to catch my breath

 

We had met for lunch in some downtown Manhattan café

That you frequented—eager to share with me your find

Proud that you were working there in that melee

Of New Yorkers milling about with their own kind

 

The contours of your face, your photogenic smile

Your youth that emanates from a decade ago

Your furtive smile, the one that could beguile

And persuade the most stubborn of us so

 

Your hidden secrets that remained unearthed

You did not give them willingly away

And those of us who tried to probe and came away

Unenlightened frustrated rather gone astray

 

If walls could talk, and photos likewise

Perhaps you would still walk upon this earth

And smile your stealthy smile for all to know

That happiness was yours, there was no dearth