These are my people

Gardeners. Who knew? Gardeners are my people, the ones with whom I feel most at home. They can have small or large gardens, balcony gardens, you name it. We click and bond over shared gardening experiences (sometimes failed experiments), types of seeds, what garden store is having a sale, and what we can share with each other. The latter is the most important to me. Gardeners are generous. I have not met one gardener in our allotment garden who hasn't been willing to share plants, seeds, or advice. Yesterday we had our annual Volunteer Day in the garden; we all pitch in to do weeding, raking, clipping, etc. for a few hours, and then afterward we gather together over cake and coffee. It was a lovely day, weatherwise and socially. Such events are important for strengthening the bonds between us and also for getting to know the new gardeners, those who have recently gotten their allotment gardens.

Why do I feel comfortable with gardeners? They are not flashy or chic. There are no in-your-face displays of wealth, even though there are probably a number of gardeners who are well-off. There is no overt competition among us, at least in our allotment garden. I don't feel like I'm competing with my fellow gardeners to 'have the best garden'. Each gardener is an individual with unique ways of expressing their love of gardens, and that is reflected in their choice of bushes, trees and flowers, as well as vegetables. My garden neighbor has tried growing artichokes; this year I'm attempting to grow asparagus. The lack of overt competitiveness is refreshing in a world that values 'being the best', sometimes at all costs. I'm simply not interested; perhaps I was at one time, early in my career. But even at that time, I worked together with colleagues who were more supportive rather than competitive. I'm thankful every day to be away from a work world that values competition and being the best above all else. The falsity of that way of thinking lies in the reality that only one person can really and truly be the best. All the others are accordingly ranked less. And that's ok for me, but it wasn't for our workplace leaders who did not care at all for those whose careers didn't measure up to snuff. I do not miss that world at all.

I know that gardening can be quite competitive; there are contests for having the most beautiful flower garden or for growing the largest vegetables or the most fruit. But like art, literature, and music, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can judge the beauty of a garden, but it is a subjective evaluation. There are no objective criteria for what characterizes a beautiful garden. I respond intuitively to gardens that have a 'soul', but that too is subjective and emotional. There is much in our past and in our subconscious that is wrapped up in our gardens and garden choices. For example, when I plant tulips, I remember my mother ordering tulip bulbs from Holland and planting them on the front lawn. The resulting tulips were beautiful. Lilies of the valley remind me of a neighbor from childhood who had them lining one side of her house. They were my favorite flowers for the longest time. Basil and salad plants remind me of a family friend who grew them both in her backyard; we children would pick them for dinner when we visited her. Tomato plants remind me of my friend Jean's father who grew them in their backyard. The tomatoes were delicious. She has carried on the tomato-growing tradition.

As I get older, I am drawn to visiting public and private gardens. New York State is full of lovely gardens--The New York Botanical Garden, Innisfree Garden, Kykuit/The Rockefeller Estate, and Untermyer Park and Gardens, to name just a few of the ones I've visited. There are more on the list and I look forward to experiencing them in the coming years.  

Another good one from Stephan Pastis

 Yet another spot on Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis.......

Spot on

Another brilliant Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis.....

Sloth

Some reflections on sloth (not the animal but the behavior). Sloth is defined by the online Merriam Webster dictionary as a 'disinclination to action or labor, aka indolence, and spiritual apathy and inactivity'. Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins in Catholic teaching. Both aspects of the definition of sloth interest me, but it is the spiritual apathy and inactivity that interest me the most. Most people equate sloth with physical laziness--not wanting to pick up after yourself, being sloppy, not caring about your appearance, not wanting to help around the house. This laziness is irritating for the people who live with such a person, and it may be indicative of someone who simply does not care enough about the impact of such behavior on himself or herself and others. But this is not the only type of slothful behavior. One might think that sloth is the result of passivity, and that is true in one way. But in another way, it is an active choice in the sense that one 'knows' what one is doing when one is lazy, spiritually or otherwise. One chooses to be slothful, and that by itself is an active choice. Slothfulness is the choice to be passive or to remain passive when the opposite is called for. 

Spiritual apathy and inactivity are rampant in our current society and can be countered by going to church regularly and following a code of good behavior. These things will help one stay on the path toward goodness, so it's important to use the aids/opportunities available to keep ourselves strong in the face of bad influences. The impact of bad behavior on ordinary individuals is insidious. I think about the normalization of bad behavior that is happening more and more in society. We are called to 'call out' bad behavior when we witness it. We are called to action. And there is plenty of bad behavior to call out. Yet many of us simply can't or won't 'get involved'. The way our political leaders behave ought to be enough to rouse us from our stupor. The bad behavior I am referring to includes bullying, harassment, being argumentative for no reason, threatening for no reason, rudeness, aggressiveness (in your face) for no reason, meanness, cruelty, lack of self-insight, blaming others all the time, narcissism, greed. The list is long. 

I have written about narcissism and narcissists before in this blog. Be thankful if you've never met a true narcissist. I have. Narcissists are human tornadoes that sweep in and destroy all semblance of normal life. They are destroyers of peace, happiness, logic, reason and the expectation of a normal life. The destruction they leave behind can take years to clean up. The narcissists that exist among us are spiritually slothful--spiritually apathetic and spiritually inactive. I would go so far as to say that their slothfulness is a type of mental disorder, the result of their choices to not do the right thing when they know they should. It is the choice, based in our free will, to be selfish, greedy, non-empathetic, mean, and cruel. Narcissism develops gradually over time and is the result of slothful behavior, in my opinion. Slothful behavior leads to evil, and the fact that we as a society are normalizing slothfulness and evil behavior is the beginning of the end of civilized society in my book. We must continue to call out bad behavior when we see it. We must continue to be spiritually active. We must continue to try to be the best people we can be on a daily basis. This is what we are called to do as good people who care about the society we live in. 

More garden photos

 

Arctic barren strawberry plant

Hosta stems forming 

Narcissus

Hyacinths

Scilla 

Grape hyacinth

Crocuses and alumroot (Coral bells) in front of birdbath and statues

Spring in my garden

I got an early start in my garden this year, after a rather amputated season last year due to my surgery. The weather has been cooperative for the most part, so I was able to start garden cleanup in late March. That involves clipping dead stalks and raking leaves; the former filled six large garbage bags, the latter ended up in the compost bin. You would think there wouldn't be that many stalks to be clipped, but there are. My garden is about 1000 square feet, so there are a large number of plants waiting for their spring trim. The garden refuse is taken to a nearby recycling station where it is processed into mulch and compost. Nothing goes to waste. The leaves that I've added to the compost bin will be soil when late autumn comes. 

April sees the blooming of snowdrops. I have spread bunches of them around the garden and they grow and spread like wildfire. They are so pretty when they bloom. After that come the scilla, crocuses and hyacinths, including the grape hyacinths (muscari) that are so lovely. And then come the tulips, forsythia and cowslip. I've also planted one perennial (arctic) barren strawberry plant (does not produce berries), which has lovely yellow flowers. I often forget where I planted tulips in previous autumns, so it's always a surprise to see where they turn up! They too multiply underground, like allium plants. 

I'm posting some garden photos from the beginning of April until now. Enjoy!

Snowdrops

Cowslip

Forsythia

Tulips

More tulips and magnolia tree behind them

Cherry tree 

Wisteria blooms forming 

Bergenia (aka elephant-eared saxifrage or elephant's ears)

Snapdragons, rose mallows, pumpkin and zucchini in the greenhouse

My rule book

Don't tell me that you love your country if you litter rather than placing your garbage in trash bins. No excuses. Don't bother me with them. You're just lazy in my book. 

Don't tell me that you love your country if you insist that it is your right to deface public and private property by tagging your stupid initials onto the walls. It's ugly, you know it's ugly, yet you continue to do it. Teenage pranks? Teenagers will be teenagers? Not in my book. You were brought up wrong if you do such things. I blame your parents for your lack of respect for others and for their property. 

Don't tell me that you love your country when you insist on berating those who don't agree with you about politics, religion, etc. I grew up in a country with Christian values, yes, but a country that also has separation of church and state. That means don't foist your religion or cult worship on me. Don't be in my face about it. Keep your mouth shut. That includes the media too, social or otherwise. 

Don't tell me that you can do what you want to do without regard for others because you grew up in a free country. With freedom comes responsibility. Commit that to memory. Do something positive for others and for your country because it will help others and your country. Stop always thinking about yourself. Stop being an egoist. 

The golden rule is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Don't expect respect and consideration of your feelings from others if you don't respect and consider the feelings of others. I don't want to hear your excuses as to why you can't behave like a civilized human being. Just abide by the golden rule and we'll get along just fine. 

Reflections on writing a blog and communicating with others

This blog has become more and more important to me as the best way for me to express my thoughts and feelings and to share them with others. I have become less interested in social media generally as time goes on. I use Facebook for quick updates and have found that it has become useful as a way of staying updated on what is going on in Oslo and in New York (city and state)--movies, concerts, gatherings, museums, etc. Useful since they are my two favorite places. I used to use Twitter--no more; it became too political and too divisive. I have a profile on Instagram that I have almost never used and I will not start now. I have a profile on LinkedIn that I rarely update, nor am I on LinkedIn often. None of them appeal to me the way writing a blog does. So I'll continue to write my posts. I think the appeal for me is that I can write freely and compose my thoughts without having to consider who may like them or not. There is freedom in that. I have turned off the comments section so that I don't have to deal with (the few) internet trolls who inserted their nonsense into my life. I don't need such nonsense nor will I permit it. There is enough nonsense published daily in social media and newspapers. 

The society we lived in is hooked on smart phones--that is a given at present. I cannot go anywhere without seeing people glued to their phones. Nearly everything we do or need to do in our daily lives requires the use of a phone. It's become somewhat unnerving. I think to myself--what happens if the infrastructure that provides this service (cell phone connection) crumbles? What happens when we rely 100% on our phones? It can't be a good thing. Banks want little or nothing to do with customers anymore, likewise supermarkets that push us to scan all our items rather than go to a cashier who can check out the items for us. I object to the loss of personal contact between people. When I worked part-time as a cashier at an A&P in Tarrytown many years ago, I looked forward to my 'regulars'--the people who showed up in my line to check out numerous cans of cat food or other items and who looked forward to a short chat with me. When I served coffee at church bingo on Sunday evenings, I would talk to the bingo players who as it turned out actually shared a lot of their lives with me. It was a valuable experience. At the very least, I learned to talk to people, to share some of our lives together, and to come out of my (reserved) shell. I read articles now that describe young people as unable to really communicate with each other in person. It's become easier to text or message each other. I feel sorry for them, for missing out on a youth filled with different social and interactive experiences--some good, some bad. Living via a smart phone is not a way to live. It is a curated way to live, where you tailor your comments and communications to what you think others will want to hear. You don't want to be disliked, so you 'limit'  yourself more and more. I won't miss social media much when I decide to forego it one of these days. That day will come; I don't know when. But I will continue to write my blog, knowing that I am free to write about the things that interest me, and that may interest you, my readers. But I will never tailor my writing to please a certain segment of society. If it one day comes to that, that I am forced to do so, then I will stop writing. Until or if that happens, I enjoy the freedom that comes from writing. It is one of the few activities that is not regulated, modulated or controlled by others, thankfully.