A commentary on the presidential election from Stephan Pastis

How apt--and how true.....

A Tale of Two Rivers, revisited

Today, as I was walking along the Akerselva river and enjoying the autumn feeling all around me, I remembered a post that I had written back in 2010, the first year of my blog. Fourteen years ago this past July, I wrote A Tale of Two Rivers--A New Yorker in Oslo: A Tale of Two Rivers (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com)--about the Hudson and Akerselva rivers. The post got noticed by the Nyack News & Views and they wrote a short article about it--As Others See Us: From Hudson To Herring - Nyack News & Views (nyacknewsandviews.com). Needless to say, that made my day back then, and still does...

September in New York--photos

As promised, some photos of my recent trip to New York. I'm including photos of the High Line, One World Trade Center, the NY Botanical Gardens,Tarrytown, and Pawling. 

Map of the High Line

walking along the High Line

 garden and plants along the High Line 

Sculpure along the High Line

One World Trade Center

It's impossible to not love NY--there is no place like it in the world 

On a clear day, you can see the Manhattan skyline from Hastings

The NY Botanical Gardens--Alice in Wonderland exhibition

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late

The newly-renovated lighthouse and the new Tappan Zee bridge in Tarrytown

a bookstore in Pawling

town square in Pawling

The tragedy sniffers as described by Charles Bukowski

The more I read Charles Bukowski's writings, the more I like them. He can definitely be crude, rude and abrasive. But his prose-poetry touches on some really timely and interesting themes. Like this poem, They Are Everywhere, which could describe a lot of what goes on in society at present. Why all the anger? 

They are everywhere

The tragedy-sniffers are all

about

they get up in the morning

and begin to find things

wrong

and they fling themselves

into a rage about

it,

a rage that lasts until

bedtime,

where even there

they twist in their

insomnia,

not able to rid their

mind

of the petty obstacles

they have

encountered.

They feel set against,

it’s a plot.

And by being constantly

angry they feel that

they are constantly

right.

You see them in traffic

honking wildly

at the slightest

infraction,

cursing,

spewing their

invectives.

You feel them

in lines

at banks

at supermarkets

at movies,

they are pressing

at your back

walking on your

heels,

they are impatient to

a fury.

They are everywhere

and into

everything,

these violently

unhappy

souls.

Actually they are

frightened,

never wanting to be

wrong

they lash out

incessantly 

it is a malady

an illness of

that

breed.

The first one

I saw like that

was my

father

and since then

I have seen a

thousand

fathers,

ten thousand

fathers

wasting their lives

in hatred,

tossing their lives

into the

cesspool

and

ranting

on.

Charles Bukowski

September in New York

My annual trip to New York this year was taken a bit later than usual. I normally travel during the last week of August/first week of September, but this year, in connection with a high school reunion that was scheduled for Saturday September 21st, I arrived in New York on September 18th. My friend Judy, who lives in Oregon, also planned to attend the reunion, so we decided to meet in Manhattan for two days before heading north for our reunion. We stayed at the Warwick Hotel on West 54th Street, where I stayed last year when I met my friend Cindy who flew in from Illinois for a visit. On the first day of our two days together, Judy and I walked the 1.45 mile-long High Line (Visitor Info | The High Line) in perfect weather--sunny and warm, and then walked down to the Memorial (The Memorial | National September 11 Memorial & Museum (911memorial.org) at the site of the former World Trade Center Twin Towers, where we visited the Pools and then the Oculus (Oculus Transportation Hub | World Trade Center (officialworldtradecenter.com). The following day we walked through Central Park starting at Columbus Circle and exited at East 79th Street in order to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, where we spent the better part of an afternoon. In the evening, we went to see the biographical musical Hamilton at the Richard Rodgers Theater on West 46th Street, which was superb. I had been a bit sceptical about seeing it because there was a lot of rapping, but suffice it to say that it blew me away--both music and lyrics. When we exited the theater and walked back to the hotel via Times Square, we were both amazed at the vibrancy, energy and life of the city and of the people hanging around there. It brought to mind the old saying--New York is the city that never sleeps. That seemed to be the case at around 11 pm on a Friday night in September. 

Our high school reunion on Saturday proved to be an enjoyable one; of the one hundred or so students we graduated with, about twenty-five attended the afternoon brunch that was held at a restaurant in Yonkers. It was fun to catch up with everyone, although three hours was too short a time to really talk in depth with everyone. I don't know if there will be future reunions; I doubt it, but who knows? At least ten of our classmates have passed away in the intervening years. It's hard to believe it's been fifty years since we all graduated from high school. 

After the reunion, I had lunch at Harvest on Hudson (Harvest on Hudson | Italian Restaurant in Hastings, New York (harvesthudson.com) with my friends Gordon and Mary-Ann, both of whom I know from my Memorial Sloan-Kettering Days, and spent some time with Jola, also from my Memorial Sloan-Kettering Days. I also managed to meet Stef for lunch at Horsefeathers (Home | horsefeathers (horsefeathersny.com) in Tarrytown. Horsefeathers has been around since 1981 and was the site of many a get-together with family and friends when I lived in New York. And then I spent the remainder of my time in New York at my second home--Jean's house. I always look forward to being there. Maria came down from Albany and we all hung out together as we love to do. We made a trip to the small town of Pawling in upstate New York, had lunch there and then wandered around the small shops. The following day we spent the afternoon with Maria's sister Margarete and her son Zac. I always return to Oslo from New York in a happy frame of mind and with a lot of energy to spare. That's because I am together with close friends and family. Just being together with people who truly know and love you is a gift from God. I know that's true because our get-togethers are blessed with grace, understanding, peace, and love. We love each other in the best possible way--acceptance of who we are, where we are in life, what we believe in, and genuine wishes for the others' happiness and wellbeing. I've said it before many times, but I'll say it again--I cannot imagine my life without my close friends. God has been good to me and I am grateful for them. 

I'll post some photos of my trip in my next post. 

Dealing with the patriarchy

I saw this greeting card in a bookstore in Pawling NY on my recent trip to New York State, and it resonated with the feminist in me. Not that I'm really out to slay the patriarchy 😏, but there are times when I wish patriarchal institutions (like the Vatican) would move more quickly when it comes to allowing women to become priests, for example. Most people I talk to seem to think that priests will be allowed to marry before women are allowed to become priests. I can live with that, as long as both are on the priority list. It will probably happen when vocations are so reduced as to be considered a critical situation. It would be wonderful if the church was proactive for once and didn't wait for a dire situation to occur. We'll see what time brings......

The Catholic Church's stance on IVF procedures

Many Catholic priests are encouraging their congregations to vote for Trump/Vance. This is solely because both oppose abortion, although Trump's stance on abortion is really unclear. He really just wants to let the states decide the matter. In other words, he'll wash his hands of the whole controversial issue while stating loudly that he is against abortion. What he'd rather do is promise America free IVF (in vitro fertilization) procedures for married couples. This became clear at the first debate between Trump and Harris on September 10. According to Politico.com:

"The former president, eager to deflect attacks that his election would threaten fertility care, has gone so far as to pledge free IVF treatments to all Americans, paid for either by insurance companies or the federal government." (Trump sells himself as a ‘leader’ on IVF, angering some Republicans - POLITICO)

Wow. Firstly, how socialist of him. This is the type of thing you'd expect from the socialist countries most Americans profess to hate (God forbid America becomes socialist). I'll tackle that in another post; suffice it to say that Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and the Children's Health Insurance Program are all 'socialist' programs from which most Americans benefit, thanks to Franklin D Roosevelt. IVF is an expensive procedure, costing upwards of 10,000 dollars per try. It doesn't always 'take' on the first try, so there can be other attempts. In Norway, the government will pay for the first IVF procedure (about half the price of that in the USA); if it doesn't work the first time, the couple are on their own and must pay for future procedures themselves. This is as it should be. It is not a human right to have a child, nor is it the responsibility of the rest of the country to ensure that couples have children. In the same way that it is not the government's responsibility to pay for abortions.  

Secondly, he hasn't done his homework. The Catholic Church does not allow IVF procedures; they are considered immoral. I suggest that people read the information found at the following link very carefully. You will learn why IVF is considered immoral (Begotten Not Made: A Catholic View of Reproductive Technology | USCCB). 

"One reproductive technology which the Church has clearly and unequivocally judged to be immoral is in vitro fertilization or IVF........In IVF, children are engendered through a technical process, subjected to "quality control," and eliminated if found "defective." In their very coming into being, these children are thoroughly subjected to the arbitrary choices of those bringing them into being. In the words of Donum Vitae: "The connection between in vitro fertilization and the voluntary destruction of human embryos occurs too often. This is significant: through these procedures, with apparently contrary purposes, life and death are subjected to the decision of man, who thus sets himself up as the giver of life and death by decree." 

So, to summarize, the Catholic Church wishes to endorse a man for president who is promising free IVF to all Americans, just because he is anti-abortion. He is one of the most un-Christlike men in modern history. It makes no sense, given that many of the IVF-fertilized eggs will be discarded if not needed or if they are defective. How is this different from abortion? I don't get it. I just remember my father telling me that the church is made up of imperfect human beings. I gave up hoping a long time ago that the clergy could provide clear, solid and moral leadership, not weighed down by hypocrisy and confusion. There are very few priests who fit that bill. 

Pets leaving Springfield Ohio after the presidential campaign debate

Memes that have appeared since the disastrous debate (for the orange-haired man) on September 10......

Yes indeed, someone had to say it

Yes indeed, someone had to say it.....and Rat did. 

Regardless of whether you are for or against gender-neutral bathrooms, the fact remains that the major problems in the USA, the ones we should be talking about, have arisen due to the emphasis on Wall Street's making money at the expense of the rest of the country. If you don't believe me, here's a list of films to watch that will change your mind forever about the power and control that Wall Street investment firms and banks have wielded and wield over the country and also the world. 

Wall Street (1987)

Inside Job (documentary from 2010)

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

Too Big To Fail (2011)

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

The Big Short (2015)

Dumb Money (2023)

Thoughts and prayers and reflections on mass school shootings

The recent Georgia shooting once again has shifted the focus off the victims and onto the shooter--Colt Gray--a teenage boy with a disastrous home life. Yes, he had a terrible upbringing. But not everyone who has such an upbringing finds a gun and kills his or her peers and teachers. And while I'm commenting on these types of shootings, has it ever occurred to anyone that the majority of shooters are teenage boys and not girls? I'm not sure why this is. 

What kind of father buys a mentally-troubled son an automatic rifle (AR15) for Christmas? An evil father is the answer. If you read M.Scott Peck's People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil, you'll find that he describes such a family--parents who bought their (suicidal) son a gun for Christmas. They were all in therapy with Peck for some reason, but Peck described the parents as evil for essentially placing an instrument of death into their son's hands. As if to say to him, 'feel free to kill yourself'. The book was published in 1983, before the age of social media and school shootings. Peck found dealing with the parents very unsettling and held out little hope for the possibility that they could change. The entire case bothered him enough to write about it. 

The father of the Georgia shooter has stated that he bought his son a gun because he wanted him to stop playing video games and get outdoors. I can think of a hundred other ways for him to entice his son to spend time outdoors--teach him how to swim, boat, surf, camp, golf, ride a motorcycle, grow his own food, etc. There are a myriad of activities that this teenager could have participated in, but no, it had to be hunting animals for sport, which in my book is already questionable. Why do you need to shoot animals for sport, and why do you need an automatic rifle to kill them? Why make a hunter out of someone who has an unstable home life and personality to boot? Because you yourself are an unstable and aggressive individual with anger issues. It's only natural to pass that along to your children and to defend doing so. 

If I were the parents of murdered schoolchildren, I would be furious if someone offered me 'thoughts and prayers' in response to losing my children. There are too many thoughts and prayers, and while it's fine to pray for the victims of tragedies, it's not enough. Not for the parents and families of the dead. Not for the parents and families of all of the 50 dead individuals from all of the school shootings this year alone. Fifty people dead because young people who should never had access to guns, got access to guns. But God forbid we change the laws and make it nearly impossible for them to get access.

One possible solution? When parents buy a gun and have children in the home, they should have to sign a statement saying that they will be responsible for use of said gun by their children, should that happen. They will be legally and financially responsible for any injuries and/or deaths caused by said gun if fired by their children. Families of the victims should be able to sue the gun owners and the gun store owners in order to receive reparations. Only when we begin to force parents who are gun owners to ante up, will there begin to be some changes.

Childless cat ladies and Catholic-school nuns

I wonder if JD Vance thinks about what he says before he opens his mouth. In that respect, he and Trump complement each other. Neither of them really thinks before he speaks. That was a golden rule in my house growing up--think before you speak. Another rule was--if  you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Both Vance and Trump could benefit from some introspection and reflection before they open their loud-mouthed traps. 

Much has been made of Vance's comments about childless cat ladies running the country. My first thought after his utterance was--WHO? Who is he referring to? Politicians? Teachers? Family members? Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton, both powerful politicians, have children. Likewise Kathy Hochul, governor of New York State. In 2023, there were about 30% women in Congress; the overwhelming majority of Congressmen are men. Men run the USA, and that's true in pretty much any area of society you choose to look at. It's changed somewhat in scientific research and in the medical health field, thank God. So who is Vance referring to? Teachers? Grammar schools these days have many female lay teachers. Vance didn't grow up Catholic; he converted to Catholicism as an adult, so I doubt he meant Catholic school nuns, but in the rest of my post, I'll focus on them. 

If Vance had grown up Catholic, he'd probably have attended a Catholic grammar school, which in my day was governed by nuns (it didn't matter if they were Carmelite, Dominican, or Sisters of Mercy nuns). They ran the schools, often with an iron hand. They were disciplinarians, but also remarkably educated women, many with masters and doctoral degrees, who imparted their love of knowledge to us, or at least to those of us who were interested in gaining an education. I remember my senior year high school advanced biology teacher--Sister Margaret Costa. She is directly responsible for my choosing to major in biology in college, after having worked independently in her lab for one year, studying fruit fly genetics, learning how calculate chromosome loci, and studying population genetics and evolution. She provided instruction and the necessary supplies, and then left us on our own to get the intended results. If you made a mistake, you could start your experiment over, as long as there was enough time to do so. If you made a mistake, you learned from it. She didn't chastise us for making mistakes. And that's important, because in laboratory work, you make mistakes. You learn from them and you can start over. That was high school. In grammar school, girls were encouraged to open their mouths, to answer questions, to debate, to speak in front of the class. The female lay teachers were nowhere near as interesting as the childless nuns. Many of the nuns seemed to love children, in contrast to the female lay teachers, who were often uncaring and sometimes even mean. And that brings me back to childless cat ladies. I don't know if the nuns kept cats in their convents. If they did, I'm sure the cats had wonderful and pampered lives, with plenty of affection and love. 

Vance's assumption is that if you are childless, you don't understand family values or what children need, and that your childlessness makes you self-focused and selfish. He couldn't be more wrong. Just because you are childless does not mean you cannot or do not love children. It does not mean you cannot take care of children. It does not mean you don't value family life. I could not have my own children due to health problems when I was younger. But I have always enjoyed being around children. When I was a teenager, I worked at a daycare center for one summer, and loved it. I loved being around the kids, and several of them came to love me, one in particular. I will never forget him--Butch--who sought me out constantly so that he could sit in my lap. He felt protected by me, and of course when I was a teenager, I didn't understand that. I just knew that I felt great affection for him. He was an adopted child who later ended up on the wrong road and who died young. My heart twists with sadness when I remember him as a six-year old. When I was twelve years old, I started babysitting for the children in my neighborhood, and enjoyed that as well. And now I have a step-granddaughter whom I love. So it hurts when people say that childless women don't know how to raise children or how to care for them, or that they are selfish and not interested in promoting family values. It's simply not true. The nuns were childless (by choice of vocation) and were wonderful women, most of whom were good with children. If Vance has a problem with women like the nuns 'running the country' and being childless, he should push for changes in his church that allow priests and/or nuns to choose their vocation and to marry. But he won't. 

One last point. Many women with children have done and are doing lousy jobs of raising them, usually because if they are married, they are married to men who are not committed to family life or their wives. The wives take out their frustrations on their children. I saw a lot of this when I was growing up in my neighborhood. Men who were fooling around on the side and barely saw their children because of their so-called important careers. Men who drank and abused their wives and children. Are these family values? Are you automatically enrolled in the 'family values' program simply because you have children? You are not. You shouldn't have children for the sake of having children or because peer pressure around you forces you to have children, or because your parents and siblings nag you to have children. You should have children because you are in a committed relationship, where both parties love children and put their interests ahead of their own. You should have children because you enjoy family life. And family life is often messy and unpredictable. I applaud many younger men who have prioritized family life at the expense of their careers. Vance should focus more on changing federal policies to make it easier for men to make these choices, such that women could again begin to rely on the men in their lives when children come along. As it is now, I don't see how high-powered Wall Street careers are conducive to anything but greed and more greed. They are certainly not conducive to family life. I always remember my brother, God rest his soul, who was fired from one of his Wall Street jobs because he wanted to spend more time with his children. He got his wish at the expense of his health and eventually his life. He never regretted his choice, and I got a chance to see how much he loved his kids. It's not just women who can love and take care of their children; men too do a great job too of raising children. Why don't we as a nation make it easier for both men and women to raise children? Why focus only on childless women? Why stigmatize a group in this way? Why is there so much unkindness and ignorance in politics, society, and the world? 

The Ten Commandments explained for our Pharisee politicians

I don't need angry belligerent quasi-religious know-it-alls screaming to me and others about how we should live and behave in a Christian way. I know how to live and behave in a Christian way and have been doing so and trying to follow the tenets of my faith (Catholicism) since I was a child. I've met plenty of hypocrites who claim to be Christian. Therefore, a list of what I and many other women don't need from politicians who think they know it all:

• we don't need advice on sex, reproduction, having children, raising children, or taking care of a family
• we don't need advice about work life, career choices, time spent at work, time spent at home
• we don't need advice on how to spend money. We're doing just fine, thank you. We're not half as greedy as most of you
• we don't need men telling us how to live our lives, how to think, how to feel, how to act. We don't need your views thrust at us every time we turn around
• Here's some advice for you--get over yourselves or go to hell. Take your pick.

Here are the Ten Commandments listed up for those politicians who don't seem to understand their own hypocrisy and who need explanations for what they mean:

1. You shall have no gods before me.  
2. You shall not make any idols to worship.
3. You shall not take the Lord's name in vain. 
4. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.
5. Honour your father and your mother.
6. You shall not kill.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness.
10. You shall not covet your neighbour's goods.

It's hard to understand how current politicians can spout Christian rhetoric yet not live by it. The orange-haired man is worshipped as a god by the Republican Party (goes against commandment 1). Money is worshipped by most politicians whose greed and sliminess never cease to amaze me (goes against commandment 2). They put most ordinary average people to shame with their wealth, their homes, their private jets, their lives of luxury. Get over yourselves. How many of them go to church on Sunday, whether they be Catholics or Protestants (commandment 4)? How many of them have committed adultery and lied about it (commandment 7)? Adultery is not just reserved for the Democrats. How many of them can say that they have not stolen or lied to protect themselves and/or their families? Lying and hypocrisy (see commandments 8 and 9). Again, not just reserved for the Democrats. How many can say that they are not envious of others, often bitterly so? How many can say that they don't attack their competitors in a destructive way merely because they envy them their poll numbers or success (see commandment 10)?

The main commandment given by Christ was to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. I am sure that if Christ was to return to our modern society, the modern-day Pharisees would find all sorts of fault with him--too liberal, too forgiving, too extremist, hangs out with the dregs of society, talks about visiting prisoners and the sick, despises using church buildings for business dealings. I could go on and on. Christ would be considered a dangerous radical, a hippie, a good-for-nothing living off society's wealth. The media and social media would have a field day with it all. We like to think we would accept Christ for who he is, but I don't think the majority would. Christ said "For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you took Me in, I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you visited Me." Doing all these things is a tall order for many who try their best to be caring and kind, but what Christ asks of us is likely to be considered extreme by many people. That's why it's not easy to be a true Christian. We were never promised that it would be easy. 

When the quasi-religious Pharisees of our time put their money where their mouths are and stop lecturing the rest of us, we may listen to you. But until that day, buzz off. When you approach your constituencies with humility and the will to serve your constituencies, come talk to us. When you decide to cut ties with and not make cushy deals with lobbyists in order to enrich yourselves, come talk to us. Until that happens, buzz off. And try your best not to hold your bibles upside-down when lecturing the rest of us on how to live.   

Miss Read's World

I'm reading A Peaceful Retirement, the last book of the Fairacre series of books, written by Miss Read. I've read the first two books in the series--Village School and Village Diary, and now the last two--Farewell to Fairacre and A Peaceful Retirement. Miss Read is the pen name for the author Dora Jessie Saint, who lived from 1913 to 2012, and who, like her character Miss Read, was a schoolteacher and headmistress for Fairacre School. The interesting thing is that the name Miss Read serves as both Saint's pen name and as the author's main character. Miss Read the author was married and had a child; Miss Read the schoolteacher is unmarried and firmly decided to remain that way, despite being pursued by two suitors. Since Saint was a schoolteacher herself, one can imagine that she drew on her school experiences when she wrote her books. Fairacre, a fictional village, depicts village life in all its glory and problems; gossip is what connects the townspeople and it spreads like wildfire despite the best efforts to contain it. If you are looking for anonymity, you won't find it in a small village, where everyone knows about the doings of everyone else. The books are dated; the first two are from 1955 and 1957, respectively, and the last two from 1993 and 1996, respectively). They depict an era when social media, smart phones, computers and the like did not exist. And when you read the books, you don't miss their absence. People managed their lives quite well (or not so well) for hundreds of years without being glued to their phones 24/7. 

I love Miss Read's world, like my mother before me. I especially like the last two books in the Fairacre series, and I probably should read the intervening books. Perhaps I will if I get the chance. But I've gotten a real chance to immerse myself in the Fairacre goings-on, and I've enjoyed them immensely. Miss Read the schoolteacher is a shrewd observer of human behavior and the books are peppered with her short reflections about life, love, marriage, spinsterhood (as the state of being unmarried was referred to back then), school, children, their parents, getting older, getting sick, and death. The nice thing is that she doesn't dwell morosely on any of the sadder events in life; she comments on them and moves on. The townspeople are closely connected to the land and to the seasons, and she comments on both as well. 

A Peaceful Retirement especially is filled with laugh-out-loud humorous situations and comments. Miss Read retires from school life after almost forty years of service, and many of the villagers have (well-meaning) advice on how she should use her free time. Her retirement starts off well but she has to learn to fight to preserve her free time. You can't get perturbed when reading about some of the village types; they exist everywhere and have done so at all times in history--the well-meaning busybodies, the complainers, the nitpickers and naggers, the doomsdayers, the drunkards, but also the truly caring people, the optimists, the ambitious people, the hard workers, the kind people, the churchgoers. I don't know if the books have ever been filmed, but they should have been. They would have been wonderfully entertaining. 

I'm very glad I stumbled upon these books after all these years. As I wrote about in a previous post from March of this year (A New Yorker in Oslo: Odds and ends and updates (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com), my mother used to read these books when we were children in the 1960s and 70s. She seemed to truly enjoy them. So thanks are in order to Early Bird Books who send out daily emails with great deals on Kindle books; the Miss Read books have been among them. I have purchased a number of books in this way; some of the books are available for less than two dollars. You can't beat that price. 

Gray and rain are the new normal, wind too

There's an autumnal feeling in the air, supported by weather forecasts predicting lower temperatures, several days of rain, and if no rain, cloudy and gray skies. And it's still only August 20th. Too soon. 

Gray and rain are the new normal. I cannot remember a summer that has been quite like this one--rainy days interspersed with a few sunny ones. We awake to mostly gray skies each day. It's been warm and humid for Oslo; temperatures in May, June and July hovered around 70 degrees during the day, with a few warmer days. So neither the garden nor I are complaining, just commenting. Although I am complaining a little bit, as too much grayness and rain can lead to depression. I know this first-hand, because when the sun comes out, I'm a different person--motivated, cheerful, energetic. All the things I'm not on gray days. The Norwegians have a saying--det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær. Translated it means, there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. Essentially, you should learn to dress for bad weather since it can suddenly be a reality when you are outdoors. I don't agree with this statement; bad weather exists independently of the type of clothing you wear. You cannot prepare for all eventualities. It's a statement meant to keep you positive about weather developments. It has the opposite effect on me, and when people say it to me thinking that it will cheer me up, I want to clobber them. 

Weather has become the main topic of conversation among most people. People are constantly checking their weather apps on their phones. I know I do several times a day, wondering when the rain is going to start, or if a sunny day is predicted, when the gray clouds will roll in. Because they usually do at some point. 

Wind is the other new normal. Wind has become a part of life when it never was before. I began to notice this a couple of years ago, because being out on our boat has become an iffy affair for me. I don't like being out on the water when it's windy: I don't like the resultant waves and choppiness. Back in the 1990s, there were weeks with stable, sunny, non-windy weather. Temperatures may not have been hot, but it was warm and nice outdoors and wind was not a problem. Gray skies were not so prevalent either. Who knew it would change so much in our lifetime? 

The weather has become erratic. One nice day followed by several days of grayness and rain. Storms are now much more intense and more frequent than when we were children. The frequency of hurricanes has increased, likewise the frequency of tornadoes. In other parts of the country and in other countries, there are forest fires and wildfires that produce smoke that enters the atmosphere, changing the weather patterns, like last year when the Canadian wildfires sent smoke into the northeast US states. The fallout of hurricanes on the northeast coast of the USA has become dangerous--storm surges, flooding, high winds, and rain. Lots of rain. Not to mention what the hurricanes do to Caribbean and the parts of the world where they originate. The recent fallout from hurricane Ernesto led to flash flooding in Connecticut that killed two women. Major highways in NY and NJ were closed due to flooding. Flights were cancelled. People who live in basement apartments were told to seek higher ground. 

Erratic weather is a reminder that we live on a planet in a solar system that is constantly changing. Our planet is changing. Climate change is real, whether it is natural or man-made. What difference does it make whether we created it or whether it would have occurred anyway? The fact of the matter remains is that we're in the middle of it and have to deal with it. And it's not going to be an easy task. 

Men who mistreat women

The Norwegian monarchy has come in for its share of criticism lately, what with the upcoming wedding of the king's daughter to a shaman, and the recent revelation that the son of the future queen has a (alleged) penchant for abusing the women in his life. Normally I don't care at all what goes on in the monarchy; I grew up in a country that went to war to rid us of the British monarchy. In this day and age kings and queens are good for PR but they have nothing to do with running a country. Thankfully. The current king and queen are good and decent people who have represented Norway well. I am sure that they are quite shellshocked by the recent doings of the future queen's son. 

Firstly, a young man who allegedly abuses women in this manner is not only a coward but a morally-weak person. He does not deserve any leniency at all as far as the criminal justice system goes. If he did what he is alleged to have done to one woman in particular--the most recent casualty--he borders on being a psychopath and is a danger to others. Hardly to himself; these types tend to put themselves first, being the egocentric moral vacuums and emotional vampires that they are. He seems to enjoy behaving badly when he is under the influence of alcohol and cocaine. I've seen enough aggressive and mean alcoholics in this country to last me a lifetime. I saw a few of them when I was a child too, so it's not necessarily country-specific. However, what is different here is how quickly some people 'turn' when under the influence of alcohol. Like Jekyll and Hyde. It's scary. 

Secondly, men who abuse women physically and psychologically deserve a special place in hell. When such abuse happens in your twenties (as in this case), it can scar you for life. It destroys trust, hope, faith, and belief in a better life and in a better relationship. One thing that helps is to talk about what happened with family and friends, as was the case here. And then to get the police involved, because physical abuse of others is a crime and should be prosecuted as such. The young women (two more have revealed similar instances of abuse by the same young man) are being interviewed by the police, as well they should. I'm hoping these women press charges so that this moral vacuum of a man will be forced to have his day in court. A reckoning. He will definitely have it when he meets his maker. Do I feel any compassion for him? No, I don't. And I doubt I ever will. Perhaps his mother can forgive him; perhaps his ex-girlfriends will be able to do the same one day. But I doubt it. 

This young man has now lawyered-up and it's anyone's guess if he will face prosecution. He did issue a statement saying he was sorry for behaving in this manner to his (now ex-) girlfriend (much like Diddy, another pathetic excuse for a real man, or Johnny Depp). The only reason Diddy made a statement was because there was a video that went viral of him abusing his former girlfriend, kicking her while she lay on the hotel floor in front of the elevators, and him dragging her by her hair back to their hotel room from which she had tried to escape. Another man under the influence of God knows what combination of drugs and alcohol. Another man who said that this violent person is not who he really is. Really? If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. He, and all the other abusers, do what they do because they get away with it for the most part. The women don't press charges; they should. The men blame the women (she nagged me, she made me do it). If it's true that the women nagged them, I can only imagine why (please stop drinking, please stop doing drugs, please stop yelling at me, please just talk to me). And if you are that unhappy with the women in your life, for God's sake, get a divorce or end the relationship. But no, you need to have complete power and control. Because in the end, abuse is all about power and control. I can hurt you, so I will, to keep you in line, to keep you under my thumb. The world would be a much better place without these aggressive tyrants who poison the lives of those with whom they come into contact. 

I made a decision a while ago, and have mostly stuck to it, that I will never travel to countries that do little or nothing to stop abuse of women. And I've traveled a fair amount in my life; those countries will never see my money. I'm not listing those countries here; it's easy to go online and google 'countries that have the highest rates of abuse of women'. I'd love if the tables turned, just once, so that male perpetrators experienced the abuse these women experienced. Then perhaps they would understand how harrowing it really is. Laws need to change, to become more stringent. The length of prison terms needs to increase drastically. We don't need to go backwards to a time when women 'obeyed' men. I find all of that kind of talk pure nonsense. If women can't live in a world where they can expect the same treatment under the law as a man, then they're better off single. Perhaps that's one reason why an increasing number of women don't want to marry or have children. It should at least be considered.