One approach

Thank God for the comics.........

My laugh for the day

 

Don't bother me with nonsense

I read this article today and it resonated with me: Older People Are Holding Nothing Back About What It's Really Like To Get Old  One of the comments from an older man was the following:

"I have friends and family who like to watch Fox News and get all jacked up. They don't see that they are giving away a huge part of their life to unnecessary bitterness. That sucks. I don't watch the news at all, except the weather. It's my life, and I'll spend whatever time I have being happy. If I can't fix it, then I'm not going to fret over it. Peace is a very valuable thing......."

This. I couldn't have said it better myself. What a waste of life to sit and watch Fox News or any news channel for that matter, 24/7. To be so addicted to anger and bitterness and hype and aggression. To be triggered, like he says, by events in the world that you can do nothing about. Like him, I'll opt for peace any day of the week. I don't need to be that informed. I know what's going on in the world, all of the misery, killing, wars, bombings, etc. I don't need to have continual updates. I don't want them. 

And while we're at it, I don't like political extremism of any kind. So while I am not far-right, I am not far-left either. I'm in the middle, always have been, always will be. So kindly leave us alone, us middle-of-the-roaders. Back off, all of you hyped-up, cult-like, aggressive individuals on both sides of the political spectrum. I don't want you or your endless tirades in my life. I don't want to be part of your nonsensical behavior nor do I want to deal with your nonsense. I don't care who you are. Leave me alone. 

Fifteen hundred dollars for lunch?

Who in their right mind would pay this much to eat lunch or dinner at the Noma pop-up in Los Angeles? Yes, it will cost $1,500 to eat at Noma L.A. René Redzepi explains why - Los Angeles Times; Noma's $1,500 dinner is the antithesis of L.A. - Los Angeles Times It wouldn't be me, although I know a few people who would jump at the chance. Because Noma and its world-famous chef René Redzepi are in vogue and no one wants to miss out on this experience.

I tired of the celebrity chef culture and the trendy restaurant of the week many years ago. I got tired of hearing and reading about the cook of the month, male or female, and their elevation to the status of god. Social media and the media generally pushed a lot of them to considerable heights. I am not interested in watching competitive cooking shows or shows dominated by reigning celebrity chefs. I don't like watching famous chefs tear a restaurant apart based on the menu or the way food is prepared, and yelling at and berating the staff or the owners. It makes me cringe. Ultimately, I don't care about what I label as an incredibly over-hyped and fake world. I don't want to pay thousands of dollars to eat at a Michelin-starred restaurant. I don't care about Michelin stars or the competition involved to obtain a star. 

I want to eat tasty food and enjoy a meal out, yes. If that means a really good taco at a local taco chain, so be it. If it's good food, I'm on board. That's all I care about. My tastes are not refined; I veer more toward good barbecue food or good diner food (a la Diners, Drive-ins and Dives). I used to enjoy watching that tv show because it was entertaining and hosted by a fairly down-to-earth man, Guy Fieri. And the prepared food looked so good!  I don't know if Fieri is still a salt-of-the-earth type. I no longer watch such shows so I really have no idea. 

I have eaten at trendy restaurants in Oslo a couple of times during the past twenty years--six- or eight-course meals where presentation was the operative word. Tiny amounts of food presented artistically. Good food, but not spectacular. I remember one of the restaurants served grilled chicken that was actually fried and very greasy. Not at all good. The other experience found me trapped for an entire evening (from 7 pm until well after midnight) at a farm-to-table restaurant that held lectures between courses about the importance of locally-sourced foods. That meal cost well over three hundred dollars per person, of which I paid half as a birthday gift to the woman who was being celebrated by her workplace. I couldn't wait for the evening to end. I finally left when they were talking about serving dessert at 12;30 am. That was enough for me. I understood that we were paying for the experience of eating at a three-star Michelin restaurant. But as I said previously, I just don't care. Give me a good grilled cheese sandwich or a tuna melt with a deli pickle on the side, at the local diner. I don't ask for much more. 

The haves and the have-nots

We often think of US politics in terms of liberals versus conservatives, left versus right, democrats versus republicans. But it's not that at all in my opinion. Nowadays, it's a question of the 'haves' versus the 'have nots'. The gap between them is growing larger with each day that passes. The 'haves' are the millionaires and billionaires--the ones who live well and have no trouble paying any of their bills or their taxes (if they pay taxes at all). The 'have nots' are those others, the majority of Americans who work two jobs to make ends meet, to pay their bills, to buy homes, and to put their children through college. 

According to online sources, there are 900 billionaires in the US, out of a population of circa 340 million people. That translates to about 0.00026% of the population. The combined fortune of U.S. billionaires grew to $6.9 trillion in 2025, according to Fortune.com. The percentage of millionaires is about 18%. Most of the wealth is in the hands of the billionaires and the millionaires. 

According to Census.gov, the real median household income in the US was $83,730 in 2024. Whether or not you make more or less than this figure, the fact remains that you are not likely to become a billionaire. You may have a shot at millionaire after a long work life, so that when you retire maybe you have close to a million dollars in the bank. Unfortunately, a major sickness involving expensive treatments and long hospital stays might deplete half of that. 

According to Yahoo Finance/the BLS Consumer Expenditures Report, the average American spends a total of approximately $78,535 annually (2024), or about $6,545 per month The Average U.S. Household's Expenses Are About $78,535 A Year —Yet The Average Annual Salary is Just $67,080. I include the list of expenditures from this report: 

• Housing: $26,266
• Transportation: $13,318
• Food: $10,169
• Insurance & Pensions: $9,817
• Healthcare: $6,206
• Remaining categories include education, entertainment, clothing, personal care, and miscellaneous expenses.

Single families spend less while families with two children spend more. For those families who have children that end up going to college, they must start saving toward tuition already when the children are toddlers. According to EducationData.org, the Average Cost of College [2026]: Yearly Tuition + Expenses are as follows (their list): 

• Public 4-Year (In-State): ~$10,634–$25,890
• Public 4-Year (Out-of-State): ~$31,009–$41,950
• Private Nonprofit 4-Year: ~$41,942–$52,500
• Private For-Profit 4-Year: ~$16,579
• Community College (2-Year): ~$7,196–$17,930 

If you have two children of college age and neither of them qualify for tuition aid or do not get scholarships, parents are looking at a minimum of $100,000 total for four years at a public 4-year in-state college. I would hazard a guess that the total amounts are way more than this. How do parents do it? No wonder parents are working two or more jobs to make ends meet. 

I am far from the only person who thinks the distribution of wealth in the US is entirely unfair. I am no socialist, but I do think that the US would benefit from a more equal distribution of wealth. As far as I can determine, the average American is just expected to make do, to grin and bear the hardships. Food prices continue to increase, ditto for gas prices. College tuition is out of sight. God forbid there should be a major health issue in any average family. Young couples starting out are having major difficulties saving money to buy a home without substantial help from parents. And yet Americans continue to defend this system and to criticize countries where taxes may be higher, but basic needs like healthcare and college tuition are essentially free. In Norway there is a deductible of about $300 before healthcare coverage kicks in. Doctors' visits are much less expensive than in the US, ditto for CAT scans, MRIs, etc. College students can take up loans for room and board or they can commute to school from home or off-campus housing, but they don't have to worry about paying tuition. Taxes on gasoline, alcohol and tobacco, as well as higher taxes on food and clothing compared to the US all contribute to funding free healthcare and free tuition. Why don't Americans want this kind of system? Norway is a mixed-market capitalist economy just like the US, except that it has tighter governmental regulations on industry. It's not a perfect system, but it has no national debt (the US debt is over $38 trillion). Norway has the oil fund that at present tallies at about $2 trillion. This too helps to fund the welfare system from which most Norwegians benefit. 

I don't have solutions to the economic problems in the US, but I've got to wonder why more Americans don't demand their fair share. Most of them work themselves to the bone for very few monetary rewards. Yes, there is freedom of speech and thought, but there is not much freedom in being a wage slave or in living from paycheck to paycheck. It's not fair when those few percent at the top live like kings, spending millions of dollars on yachts and weddings and God knows what else. The wealthiest among us should pay their fair share of taxes, and the government should provide better healthcare coverage for its citizens. Why this is even an issue in 2026 is beyond my comprehension. 

Resetting the world

I saw this yesterday on a pedestrian signal pole and took a photo. Struck a nerve, especially with the world as it is at present......

Learning to say no

I thought learning to say no during my life thus far would be easier than it has turned out to be. I thought I had mastered some aspects of it, but it turns out that I have a long way to go before I master the art of saying no. Because it is an art. It must be learned, over and over again. There are many ways to say no, brutally, softly, charmingly, assertively. It's difficult to know when to be brutal and when to be soft. But the overall point is to say 'no' and mean it in situations where a 'no' is warranted. When the word 'no' will protect your sanity and your health. 

Why am I bringing this up today? Because I recently read Gabor Maté's book When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. His book is a good presentation of what happens to the body when its owner becomes overwhelmed by stress. I started reading the book as a skeptic but finished it with an (albeit grudging) acceptance of the premise. I didn't want to read yet another book that told me that illness is of our own making. That if we only think positive, that we'll never get sick. That's bullshit. Genetics play a big role in the illnesses that we suffer from; I know that from my own family, where cardiovascular disease occurs frequently from generation to generation. My father and brother died of heart disease; my aunt and uncle on my father's side and many relatives on my mother's side did also. So just so it's clear where I stand. Cancer and heart disease are not your fault. That's often how sick people are made to feel. Maté does suggest that there is an association between what you do/how you think and feel and the development of different illnesses. What he observes as a doctor and researcher is that many of his patients with cancer and neurological diseases are good, caring, giving people. Many of them are women, some are men. What is common to all of them is that they cannot say no to anyone, but especially to loved ones and family members. They take on a lot of stress in the form of caregiving and serving others, putting themselves last (neglecting their own wishes, dreams and health), and giving of themselves until there is nothing left to give. They have a lot of repressed anger and they are the types that won't say no because they will feel guilty. But as Maté says, better to live with the guilt than with the resentment that stems from repressed anger at never standing up for yourself or what you want and need. He doesn't blame his patients for their illnesses, rather, he explores their mindset with them, trying to get them to see how their life situations/emotional responses are impacting their health. Our bodies can only take so much until they say stop--enough--we're exhausted, tired, worn out, used-up and if you don't wake up, we won't be able to sustain you. Chronic stress can kill you, as a lot of research can attest to. The link between chronic stress and illness is an ongoing topic of research, as is the role of epigenetics.  

When I was younger and experiencing difficult relationship situations, I thought about the role of chronic stress and resultant illness. I 'knew' somehow that living in situations that caused me chronic stress would wear me down and wear me out and make me ill. I am not a passive person by nature, I am instead proactive, so I want to prevent the negative impact on myself of such situations. Prior to my divorce when I was in my twenties, I remember thinking that if I continued to live in such an unhealthy relationship, that I would be severely sick by middle age (forties/fifties). Luckily that did not become the case. Our environment contributes to the epigenetic influences (behavioral and environmental factors) that end up turning specific genes on and off without altering the underlying DNA sequence. This basically means that having to deal with chronic stress situations can result in the turning on or off of specific genes that deal with inflammation and immune response, for example. Perhaps those genes are protective against the negative impacts of chronic stress, but over time, the protective response can go awry. Too much of a good thing? There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to this field of study. 

Last year at this time I was dealing with a defective cardiac mitral valve that resulted in open-heart surgery to repair the valve. The operation was successful and here I am, a year later, back on my feet and in reasonably good form. I was born with a benign heart murmur as were several people I know; when we were children such things were registered/graded but there was little to do about them since they were classified as benign and harmless. I imagine that there is some hereditary component to the actual defect underlying the murmur, but the murmur itself is not inherited. But do I think that life's stresses can contribute to the worsening of the defective valve? I do. I think the chronic stress during the last ten to fifteen years of my career, a career that I loved deeply, contributed to the high blood pressure that perhaps impacted the functioning of the valve. I'm guessing at this point, but the chronic stress I experienced due to poor and harassing leadership, and the subsequent 'divorce' from my job (learning to let go of it while remaining in my position, and grieving the loss of something I loved) over a long period, contributed to the heart problems I had, in combination with the hereditary aspects of familial cardiovascular disease. If I had not experienced harassment (emotional trauma), would I have had the mitral valve problems I had last year? Did my job 'break' my heart? It's hard to say. But now that I no longer work, I realize that the stress associated with my former job was insidious. I gave my all to that job and then some. I realize now that I could have cut my dedication by fifty percent and the result would have been the same. My work was not appreciated and that wears a person down, especially a person who defines himself or herself as a loyal, intelligent and dedicated employee. Knowing that it didn't matter whether you were there or not does not contribute to overall good health. I should have learned to say no when the leadership problems first started. I should have stood up more for myself. It took me some years to learn to do that, to fight back and to say what I meant. Not that it mattered. But at least I did learn, although the stress had already done its damage. 

People say that you have to die of something, whether cancer or heart disease or neurological disorders. I don't know. I think about family members and friends who passed way too soon (when they were in their fifties, sixties, early seventies). Without exception, all of them were good people, stuck in overwhelmingly stressful situations. Some of them could not say no because had they done so, their families would have fallen apart. So they stayed in jobs they hated, they stayed in unhealthy marriages or unhealthy family situations, ignoring their own health needs and ignoring the signals their bodies were giving them about overdoing things. There are no do-overs in this life. At some point, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say--today is the day I prioritize myself. Even if it's just one day a week. Shut the door, listen to music, go for a walk, tune out the world, tune out your job, don't respond to work emails 24/7, tune out demanding family members. Just tune out. Give yourself the gift of that one day. I don't know if it will make a huge difference health-wise, but it's worth a shot. 

Intimations of spring

Today is one of those late-winter days that signal that spring is in the air. When I walked to church this morning, the sun was making its best effort to break through the clouds, and the temperature was around 41 degrees F. Although the sidewalks are still a bit slippery here and there, the snow is melting and if these temperatures continue, Oslo will be snow-free by mid-March. And that bodes well for my return to the garden. I can't wait. As I walked home from church down Telthusbakken street, I remembered back to the mid-1980s when I would travel up to my parents' house by train from my Bronx apartment on a few Easter Sundays, savoring the early spring feeling that permeated the month of March and early April. Spring was in the air. It is that good feeling I remember--the warmth of the sun, the brightness of the colors around me, and the happy feeling that was infectious. It enveloped me. People were happy that winter was over, and on Easter Sunday, New Yorkers were dressed in their finery and milling about, at least in Manhattan. I often took the subway into Manhattan to get the Metro-North Hudson Line train at Grand Central Station so that I could enjoy the train ride up along the river. I still love that train ride all these years later. 

These were my thoughts today walking home from church--remembering Easter Sundays all those years ago. Remembering dressing up in dresses from Best & Company when my sister and I were children, and pairing them with the black patent leather shoes that were popular then. And we had to have our Easter hats. I still have one of mine that I use as decoration. A past time when dressing up for church and special occasions was the norm. I treasure those days for the memories of family and a way of living that has passed, but I will say that I no longer really dress up that way because I prioritize comfort now. It's a seldom occasion that warrants fine dresses, stockings and high heels. And it's not these things so much that I miss, it's the time with family, the celebration of Easter and the intimations of spring that I treasure most. 

That's what I felt on my walk home today--intimations of spring. I look forward to spring each year. The rebirth of life, birds chirping happily, buds on the trees, and a feeling of permeating happiness. This is what is important to me, in the midst of the trials and tribulations of the world at large. I cannot focus on that world any longer. There is no peace to find there, and it does not seem to me that men in power anywhere truly want or value peace. I sometimes wonder if they ever just step outside and listen—to the birdsong, to the pulse of nature around them. Truly, I wonder. How can someone watch and hear birds searching for mates, driven by the instinct to start families, and then turn around only to wage wars that bring mayhem and destruction? A love for nature and a desire for war cannot coexist. Prioritizing one means deprioritizing the other.