Apartment living and respect for others

I grew up in an apartment together with my two siblings. We lived on the second floor of a garden apartment complex. We grew up at a time when children did not have the freedom to express themselves however they like, that they do now. I don't feel that I was unfairly treated by my parents when they told us not to run around, jump up and down, scream or generally make a lot of noise out of respect for our downstairs neighbors. We just didn't do that. And if we were loud on occasion, we risked our parents' anger and displeasure. 

Nowadays it seems that anything goes. We know people who live on the third floor of a four-floor co-op apartment complex; the apartment directly over them is inhabited by a family with two children, one of school age and the other a toddler. During the past several years, they have lived with having to listen to crying (ok for the most part--children cry), occasional yelling, frequent stomping and running heavily around the apartment (the older child), throwing of objects on the floor (the toddler), bouncing balls, and the entire family waking up between 5 and 5:30 am for whatever reason. Neither parent seems to work outside the home (they work at home), so why they need to be up so early is anyone's guess. They are a noisy family and there are no rugs in their apartment to dampen the noise. So the people we know end up waking up around that time as well. Involuntarily. The parents seem to be averse to disciplining the older child, so she does and says basically what she wants. 

This would never have flown when I was a child. Our downstairs neighbors never had a complaint about us. And there would have been complaints had we been noisy. So it tells me that my parents had the right idea in not allowing us to behave like rambunctious children. Children need to be taught when they are young that they cannot behave just as they please. But in society at present, and especially in this country, it seems that anything goes where children are involved. Children rule. You cannot yell at a child without risking criticism. I know that to be true from a younger friend of mine who has tried (in this country) to correct/yell at her child when he did something wrong. Unless you are physically or psychologically abusive, normal correction/criticism/yelling is necessary at times when raising children. You cannot let children do exactly what they want, when they want. They do not know what's best for them. 

Back to the family who live above the people we know. The parents should enforce some ground rules for living above neighbors. They should instruct the older child to stop stomping and running about. They should put rugs on the floors. They should abide by the co-op complex rules about no noise between 11 pm and 7 am. But they don't. I guess it's hard to expect children to have respect for neighbors when the parents don't. 

What happened to respect for others?

Most citizens of this country have followed the rules and regulations instituted by the government to protect society during the coronavirus pandemic--kept their distance, wore masks, limited indoor and outdoor gatherings, and got vaccinated. Society has more or less reopened, at least within the country. Traveling internationally to and from countries outside of Europe is another story that I won't go into here, perhaps in another post. The reopening of society has led to some interesting developments, among them an almost desperate desire on the part of young people to party on the weekends--indoors, outdoors in the parks and city streets, on balconies, and so on. While I do understand that they are celebrating no longer being cooped up, I don't understand why they can't police themselves and set limits for how long they party. Most of us who live in the co-op complexes in Oslo can attest to the fact that the parties seem to be never-ending and very loud. They continue on into the early morning, with singing (karaoke), yelling, loud music and the like. None of us are opposed to the desire to party; in fact, those of us who are older can remember well what it was like to party. But we lowered/turned off the music before midnight and most guests left around that time. Sometimes we had to ask one or two stragglers to leave, since we wanted to go to bed. It was never really worse than that. But now it is. Parties go on until 3 or 4 am, despite the co-op rules that say that there is to be no noise after 11 pm, and definitely no noise on the balconies after that time. These rules have been completely ignored as of late, with drunk people sitting out on the balconies and having loud conversations with other partygoers. Parties, when they do break up, are then followed by gatherings in the courtyard outside, upon which many residents' bedrooms face. We then have to deal with loud conversations in the courtyard that go on interminably. Needless to say, very few residents get any sleep on these evenings. 

It has gotten bad enough that the younger residents have begun to complain about the noise, especially young families with infants and toddlers. These are people who don't get much sleep to begin with. We are quite happy that they complain, rather than having the older people do the complaining, since if the older people complained they would be labeled sourpusses and party poopers, and likely ignored. So far, the young people who complain are doing so on the co-op's Facebook page. The 'sinners' promise to shape up and mend their ways. We'll see if it's just talk or if they really mean it. 

I've concluded that most of these types of problems and most of society's problems stem from lack of respect for others. I don't know what happened to respect for others; it appears to have disappeared. There are still many people who are respectful of and who are considerate of others, but they are beginning to be a minority in this city at least. Oslo is populated by young egotists, those who think the world exists to do their bidding. They are entitled souls who have rarely heard the word 'no' in their young lives. And therein lies the problem. They are spoiled beyond belief, and I blame their parents, who caved to their every demand while they were growing up. The sins of the children have their origin in the laziness of the parents. But knowing all this won't make these young people respect others. I'm not sure what will, but I don't think more mollycoddling and kid-glove treatment are the ways to deal with it. They need to meet a wall of harshness and rigidity on the part of society's gatekeepers. I doubt it will happen in Oslo. After all, Oslo prides itself on its liberalness and tolerance, which are fine up to a point. And then they aren't enough after a certain point. Society needs rules and regulations, and enforcement of those rules and regulations. It is not enough to just talk the talk, the police have got to walk the walk. In this politically-correct city, I'm not holding my breath that the latter will happen any time soon.