Reflections on freedom, commitment, and following your own path

I reflected this morning on this short citation from the gospel of Luke (Luke 9:62), because it struck a chord in me: And Jesus said to him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. 

Once again, it seems as though Christ is being unnecessarily harsh with us humans, but the priest gave his interpretation of these words and meant that it had more to do with our freedom to commit to a path, and to not let ourselves be distracted by the myriad of duties and the demands of others that distract us each day from the commitments we make freely. The priest emphasized the 'freedom' aspect of the commitments we make. If we make those commitments freely, we are bound to honor them (with freedom comes responsibility). That is the gist of what Christ is saying here. If we choose to follow Christ in this life, we do so freely, we commit to that path. And we cannot look back; we cannot allow ourselves to be pulled off the path by family, friends, or others who do not understand that commitment or who do not wish us well.

This saying could be applied to many aspects of our lives; we must forge ahead on the path we choose freely despite setbacks, despite misunderstandings, despite outright hostility at times. There are family situations I remember well from my childhood, where some adults irrationally demanded loyalty from children in situations where children should never have been asked to choose sides or to prove their loyalty. But the adults behaved irresponsibly, childishly, or in a demanding way that was often frightening to children. Breaking away from those adults was tough, but necessary, in order to create a life unencumbered by those adult problems. The breaking away was done in a loving manner, but in a firm way. It had to be so. The adults had to be made to understand that their lives were their lives, and that the children's lives were not simply extensions of their own. The children would never have made anything of their lives if they had had to accommodate and acquiesce to the petty wishes of those adults. Similarly in marriage; a childish or narcissistic spouse will try to hinder the growth of his or her partner, will try to pull them off the road that their spouses have chosen freely. Sometimes love is destroyed by that behavior; other times the behavior is tolerated, but the repercussions may not be good ones. You know you are in the presence of narcissistic people who do not wish you to follow your own path, when nothing you do for them is good enough, when their demands drown out your own wishes and goals for your life, when your daily life becomes nothing more than slavery to such people. This cannot be allowed to happen, and yet it does, every day somewhere in the world, because the behavior of narcissists is enabled by the ability to make others feel guilty and to feel inadequate. Narcissists play on our guilt and inadequacies; narcissists are 'people of the dark', not 'people of the light'. I think that is what Christ is really saying. I think he is saying that we are each unique individuals with our own road to follow, and that we have our unique talents and gifts to make our own individual journeys. Freely committing to our own path means not enabling others to freeload on our paths, means insisting that others do 'their own work' on their own paths, means disconnecting with those people who are unhealthy and who do not wish us well. We know this instinctively, but we let guilt and pity enslave us. Christ is saying, follow me freely. Your life may not be easy, but it will be yours. And that is all we (men, women, children) can ask for in this life--the freedom to choose our own lives and to follow the path that is uniquely ours.