New year, new beginnings

Ending this year on an optimistic note.... It's been a tough year for many people. Let's hope that the new year brings good health and many blessings to all those who are dealing with illness especially. 

The magic of beginnings

This is how I feel at the start of this new year. 2020 and 2021 have been defined by a virus pandemic, but I hope that 2022 is defined by something else, something better, for us all. There is a lot of 'magic in beginnings' as Meister Eckhart says.  

With best wishes for a healthy and happy new year!

Wishing you all a joyful Christmas and happy new year

To all those who follow this blog:
A heartfelt wish for a joyful Christmas from A New Yorker in Oslo. I've been writing this blog for three and a half years, and I still look forward to each post that I write. It's not always clear to me what my posts will be about, but I find that a particular theme finds its way to the surface of my consciousness. I can walk around for days with a particular theme as a background process in my mind, and then 'suddenly' I know what to write about. I am fairly certain already that many more of my posts in 2014 will be about my writing or writing in general. I will be publishing my second book of poetry shortly, and will share with you the book cover and information on where to find it. There is no money in writing poetry; there never has been. I know this and will continue to do it anyway. Because even if one person gives me his or her feedback, it's worth it. It's heartening when you know that you have touched someone with your thoughts and feelings in a poem you have written, when that person writes to tell you which poems they liked and why.

My hope for 2014 is that I will be able to remember and follow this saying more often: 'It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness'. This saying was first spoken in public by the founder of Amnesty International--Peter Benenson. For me, it is good motivation for living daily life, with all of its struggles and pitfalls. It's a reminder to try to make a difference in this life, to try to be a good person, to not sit back passively and give in to the darkness, whatever form it may take. I wish all of you a happy 2014.

Hopes and wishes for the New Year

Some hopes and wishes for the New Year......

·         That I reclaim what was once a very important virtue to me—patience. I seem to have lost it during the past few years. Or perhaps I cast it to the wayside without really being aware of doing so.

·         Ditto for faith. Having trust and faith in the present and the future, that all unfolds as it should, in time. Faith and patience seem to go together. I had more of both when I was younger, during times that were much more difficult than any present situation.

·        Hope too. Without it, life seems rather meaningless and bleak.

·         That people drop their envy and learn to compliment others when a compliment is warranted. This doesn’t mean faking it or being superficial. It means being honest. When someone else has succeeded, achieved something you haven’t, or simply looks nice one day, for God’s sake, be happy for them. Let them know that you are happy for them. It doesn’t diminish who you are. It may be your turn the next time. And then you’d like others to be happy for your success too.

·         That the focus on competition in all things is de-emphasized. It is important to know and recognize that all individuals have different talents and strengths. It is not necessary for an artist to compete with a scientist for the same goal. Ditto for a scientist and an accountant, or a scientist and a politician. God bless the differences between us. I don’t want to be an accountant, but I have a lot of respect for what they do. Please respect my profession (science) and stop asking us to be something we’re not at work (accountants, secretaries, administrators, delivery people, media wizards and IT-experts).

·         That this culture learns for good that differences are good. All men are not created the same. We are different from everyone else already at birth. That is what the word individual denotes. We may enjoy the same access to opportunities, education, healthcare and the like, but we are not the same and we will not use these opportunities in the same way as everyone else. Can we for once acknowledge our differences and even celebrate them?

·         And while I’m at it, I hope that my workplace learns to respect its employees. They certainly haven’t done a very good job of this up until now (if ever). Perhaps 2012 will be the first year that employees in my workplace feel valued and useful. That would be an amazing thing and go a long way toward creating the kind of loyalty and dedication my workplace desperately seeks.

·         That politicians and administrators stop trying to regulate every little aspect of our lives. A lot of us feel micro-managed, at work and outside of work. Can we stop now please? Can we be treated as the adults we are and not reduced to the level of kindergarten children in all things? I know how to read, write, and interpret what I read, make my own decisions, and take care of my health. Ditto for so many other things. I’m a skeptic by nature, so leave me alone. Don’t force your opinions down my throat. I don’t need a hundred ‘besserwissers’ (German for know-it-alls) to lecture me every time I decide to do something that falls outside of the A4 (conforms to same standard) lifestyle that defines a lot of Scandinavia. There’s always someone to tell me ‘you don’t want to do that’ (yes, I do) or ‘why do you want to do that, it’s not going to work’ (because I want to and I didn’t ask for your opinion or your advice, and yes, I think it’s going to work).

·         That skepticism of the media increases, that we become warier of what we let into our minds and hearts, and that we learn to recognize evil for what it really is and how it manifests itself in modern society—as banality, hopelessness, indifference, apathy, need to control, need to dominate, need to destroy—in short, a type of negativity that is soul-destroying.

·         That we work for justice, fairness, honesty and compassion to counteract the negativity around us. All we need to do is to start in our personal lives—treat the people around us fairly, honestly and with compassion. And they will do the same with those around them. And so on.

·         That we ‘light a candle rather than curse the darkness’. Let’s light a thousand, even a million candles.

The gift of time

Christmas is the season of many gifts, but it is not the material gifts that matter most. What matters most is the gift of time—making time for others but also for ourselves--visiting good friends, picking up the telephone to call friends and family, writing some Christmas cards—in a nutshell, remembering and even prioritizing others, some of whom may be sad, lonely, frustrated or just a bit down, and who may perk up a bit because you got in touch with them. Christmas can make us feel a bit down sometimes; especially when it seems as though everyone else around you is happy except you. It is a family holiday, but if you have no family to speak of, or if you and your family are estranged, what then? Where do you go if you are alone without family? If friends don’t invite you to their homes, do you sit alone and wallow in past memories that will only make you sadder? Do you force yourself to go out and celebrate Christmas with other folks who are alone and perhaps lonely?

Life is short. This can never be emphasized too often for me. Time is a gift. To have the time to read a good book, write, work on a hobby, be with family and friends, talk on the phone, visit an older person who may be alone, spend time with a child who enjoys your company—all those things are gifts, not only to others but to ourselves. Our souls grow and expand when we nourish it in these ways, likewise our hearts. In the final analysis, it is not how many hours we spent at work that will count when we are old. No one will care when we are eighty years old that we worked sixty hour-weeks. No one will remember that we did so. If you love your work, you are lucky, but I also think that those who truly love their work are also those who understand the work-life balance. They understand the blessings that they have been given—they treasure those blessings and respect them. There are many reasons to work overtime for years on end or to constantly tell others that you are so busy at work that you didn’t have time to call or write or get in touch. Sometimes it may just be about not wanting to go home—to an unhappy home, to an empty apartment, or to the overwhelming quiet that will cause one to reflect on one’s life and on what may be wrong with it. Sometimes overworking is simply an excuse to not face up to the changes that need to be made in our lives. Overwork is a panacea, and can be used as a drug to dull the pain of an unlived life, or a life lived in the shadows or under a ‘bushel basket’. Let’s make 2012 the year that we step out from under the bushel basket and shine our light out to the world, the year when we show the world that we love ourselves enough to share our time, talents, love and compassion, the year when we make time for others. The world will be a better place for it. 

Welcome 2011!

Happy New Year

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy New Year! I hope that 2011 will be a memorable year for all those things that bring joy and peace into our lives. And I wish that for the world as well. There has been too much conflict, too much death, too much war, and not enough peace and joy. 

I don't think I will miss 2010 even though there were some happy and memorable times. It was one of those years that stand apart from the others. 1985 was one of those years for me. They are challenging years, educational in their own way, but the process of learning comes at a cost. This year was incredibly frustrating, confusing and disappointing. I am not quite sure yet what I lost this year, but work problems took their toll and I think that has led to a widespread disillusion with the academic work world. That in and of itself would have been such a terrible thing for me to admit ten years ago, that I was disillusioned with my career and my work. Now it is not. But it is a tough thing to let go of--that intense love of work that I used to have--actually sad in many ways. A small grieving process in terms of letting go of the way I used to look at my work. I am not sure a new job would do the trick for me anymore, because I have become so skeptical about academia and the research world in general. However, my consulting work for the university library (Live, Kirsten and Liz) and for Liiv-MD (Bernadette), were the high points of this work year. Without them, I would surely have slid into a real depression in reaction to my work life. These jobs challenged me and got me thinking in new ways, and helped me to rediscover the joy of immersing myself in work and new projects. They also made me realize that I could leave academia and not look back. I wouldn't miss it very much. So that's a good realization, as well as knowing that I let something new into my life, in a non-traditional way. I broke my own mold and that was good for me.

The happy times were spent with family and friends, both here in Norway and in NY. Some of the highpoints of this year were seeing Pat Metheny in concert, Birgitte’s PhD defense and dinner afterwards, Caroline and Marius’ wedding, a relaxing summer vacation with Trond, and my trip to NY in August and seeing all my wonderful friends and family there. Those times are precious to me--treasures in my heart. Those times are what life is really all about, or what I want my life to be mostly about, and they are what I want more of as I get older. The sadness of this year was the passing of my colleague and friend Liza right before Christmas. Although we (her colleagues and friends) knew it could happen at any time since she was quite sick, when it did, it happened so fast and it made me realize again how unpredictable life is. We don't always have time to get our lives in order and to say goodbye. We cannot and should not take life for granted, and we should try to live each day in the best way possible. Not always easy to do or to remember, but well-worth thinking about. I say this mostly to remind myself to do that.

My one New Year’s resolution, if I was going to make one, would probably be to complain less about my workplace (if that is possible). I will certainly try. I imagine it will go like this though—I will want to complain, but will put a lid on it. Then I’ll go buy a punching bag to take out my frustrations, and who knows, that may help to get me into better physical shape. Or I’ll buy a dart board and hang it on the inside of my office door. Tossing a few darts at the board may help me feel better. In any case, I’m definitely going to try to deal with my workplace frustrations, and otherwise make the best of my life outside of work, which is most important.

For Auld Lang Syne, my friends

The end of this year and the beginning of a new year are upon us, and for the sake of old times I want to honor the memories of those who passed on recently and of those who left us years ago. You are not and never will be forgotten.

I am reminded of the movie When Harry Met Sally when a new year is right around the corner. The ending of the movie never fails to bring tears to my eyes, because when Harry finally realizes that he wants to be with Sally for the rest of his life, he is overwhelmed with a sense of urgency to get to her. How often does that happen to us? To know that feeling--that sense of urgency-- when you want to change your life or some part of it, and you’d like it to happen NOW. Except that sometimes God and the universe have other plans and the changes take much longer than you’d like. Confucius said “Every journey starts with a single step.” Our lives are our journeys if we want them to be. They can be long journeys if we’re lucky. We can choose to really live our lives, to be present to ourselves and for others, to step up to the plate, to take responsibility, to live now, to honor the past because it gave us our identity and to respect the future because it is an unknown entity. It’s scary to take the first step sometimes. It’s easier to stay put on the couch in front of the TV rather than to stand up and move out of the passivity that may have become part of our lives. I’ve written about that so many times this past year probably because it was an important realization for me. I got off my couch. I stopped watching TV in a mindless way, flipping from one channel to another in a vapid attempt to find something meaningful to watch. I stopped asking it to give meaning to my life. Making the journey means wanting to be active participants in our own lives. It means being aware and conscious and alive, and willing to be all those things. It’s important because if we don’t choose against passivity, we hand over the reins to others to control us and that is not an attractive option at all, at least to me. I have become preoccupied with this because it could happen that our freedoms could be taken away from us if we are not aware of their value to our lives. That thought scares me.

Writing this blog has helped me become an active participant in my own life. It has given me back my voice and shown me what is important to me for the rest of my life. It has opened new roads and ways into my heart and soul and mind. It has also helped me unearth long-buried memories that were waiting to be revealed. It is amazing what we store away and how much we forget. Writing unlocks many doors; some of them open into rooms of sadness, others open into rooms of light and hope. For old times’ sake, I honor all my memories and all of the people who helped make those memories together with me. Some of them are sad, others joyful, but they define me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The ending of a year is always a bit poignant, but also hopeful because we move into a new year full of possibilities. I think I have finally understood (after many years) that there really are several possible outcomes to one specific event, not just one, and that we can often choose our response. Just that thought gives me a sense of exhilaration and freedom that I haven’t experienced in a while. I wish that sense of exhilaration and freedom for my friends, family, for those reading this blog, and for the world in general. I hope that 2011 brings hope to those who have not known hope for many years. I hope too that we find grace in our lives and in the things we do and that we realize that we do have a choice, a voice and the means at our disposal to make a difference in the world.