Winter darkness

I probably write a post about winter darkness each year, and each year I end up feeling the same way about winter darkness as I did the year before, so I put pen to paper to say that I don't like it. The winter days are too short, the nights are too long. It gets dark between 3:30 and 4 pm, and stays dark until around 8 am when light starts to filter through the clouds. The sun doesn't formally rise however until after 9 am. This morning sunrise was at 9:19 am and sunset was at 3:19 pm. That amounts to six hours of daylight and eighteen hours of darkness. 

Sometimes I wake up (unwillingly) in the middle of the night, turn on the light, and look at the clock. I did that this morning; the clock showed 6:30 am and it was still pitch black outside. I thought to myself, I can get through December and January, but after that, I'm ready for the light and warmth of spring. Imagine a world without the sun. Imagine our planet trying to survive without the warming sun. I wouldn't want to live in that world. It's no wonder our ancestors feared the dark and worshipped the sun. I would have done the same. 

You never know what's lurking in the dark, and even if it's not a real danger or threat, there is a tendency when I wake up in the middle of the night for my thoughts to veer in a pensive direction. Normally I wouldn't mind that, but in the middle of the night, I do. Because my mind races with all sorts of thoughts, blown out of proportion, that seem almost trivial and silly in the light of day. One thing I've learned--don't make any important life decisions at 3 am in pitch darkness. That's never a good idea. 

Darkness evokes feelings of emptiness, sadness, fear, loneliness and depression. Fear of the unknown, the void, the emptiness. Fear of not mattering to a soul, fear of being alone in the universe. Darkness feels all-encompassing, as though it will envelope and swallow you. Summer darkness is less intense than winter darkness, but I still don't like it. Daylight and sunlight bring feelings of contentment, happiness, safety, togetherness and joy. Daylight ushers in a lightness of spirit. In the daylight, in the warmth of the sun, I feel the sense of possibility--that anything can be tackled as long as there is light. 

Winter darkness

The darkness of winter is beginning to descend upon us now. Saturday December 21, which is the winter solstice, will be the shortest day of the year. We are already beginning to experience shorter days, with today's sunrise at 8:39 am and sunset at 3:28 pm. I remember when I first moved to Oslo in the late autumn of 1989. It was difficult to get used to the shorter days, even though the days get shorter in New York too. But not as short as in Oslo. For example, in Manhattan, today's sunrise was at 6:54 am and the sunset will be at 4:30 pm. In other words, sunrise is almost two hours earlier in NYC and sunset about one hour later in NYC compared to Oslo. Of course that makes a difference to your body. 

I remember that I was tired a lot during the first winter I lived here. The darkness didn't bother me in any other way. I didn't suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder), which is a kind of winter depression. But I missed the longer days, or at least my body did. And now, having lived here for over thirty years, I finally understand why Norwegians are almost sun-worshippers once the summer comes. I've become one as well. The summers are the complete opposite of winters--long days with a lot of light. That too took some getting used to. If we were out on the town partying until 1 or 2 am in the 1990s, we'd come home and try to sleep, and it was hard because at mid-summer, the sun was already starting to shine. For example, on June 20 of this year, which was the summer solstice and the longest day of the year, sunrise in Oslo was at 3:53 am and sunset at 10:43 pm. And even when the sun goes down at almost 11 pm, the light in the sky doesn't really fade away until around midnight. That's the nice part of summer, because if the weather is nice and warm, you can sit in the garden until at least 11 pm if you want to. 

I hope we have fewer gray days this winter than last winter. Last winter was one of the worst in memory, and I'm not the only one who feels that way. Many Norwegians I know feel the same. It was a cold, icy, snowy and gray winter that began in mid-October. This year we've been lucky; we've had a mild autumn, with temperatures around 50 degrees F throughout most of October and well into November. It's only really the last week or so that temperatures have dipped below freezing. Today we were back up to around 50 degrees F. 

Whatever this winter brings, I'm prepared. I bought several down-like vests, a new long outer down-like coat with a hood, new studded boots so that I can walk on the ice (I can flip the studs in and out as needed), and thermal gloves. But I'm still hoping for a mild winter with very little snow. I can't do much about the darkness though. 

Winter darkness

This was how it was for us when we were working during the wintertime--getting up and leaving for work in the dark and leaving work and arriving home in the dark. The sun rose after 9 am and set shortly after 3 pm, here in Oslo. It's a darkness that envelopes you; you get used to it, but I still say, give me summertime any day. This cartoon by Gabrielle Drolet is from The New Yorker from a few days ago.