My office was never mine to begin with

My husband has had his own office at work for as long as I can remember—twenty-five years or more. I have never officially ‘had my own office’; it has happened that for short periods, I have not shared an office with anyone, but for as long as I can remember, I have shared my two-person work office. I have no complaints, actually. I’ve met some wonderful people who have been officemates and who have become friends. I’ve been lucky in that sense. I can’t imagine what it must be like to share an office with someone with whom you do not get along and who makes your daily life a living hell. People who are loud, arrogant, aggressive, nosy, or who don’t understand the definition of personal boundaries. People who invade your personal space when they talk AT you. Such people do not understand the definition of discussion or conversation, only what their ego-laden brains tell them is important. And of course, we all know that for those people, they are the most important people in the world. Everything of importance happens according to their timetable. It would be hell on earth to share an office with these types of people.

So I have no problem whatsoever working at home. My husband goes to his office and self-isolates there. I stay at home working and self-isolate here during these coronavirus times. This is the beginning of my third week at home full-time. The amount of work is tapering off gradually as people understand that we’re in this for the long haul. Perhaps until the end of April. So they’re stretching out the projects, which is a good idea. We’ll see what the health authorities have to say about when it will be deemed safe to go back to work. In any case, I’ve adjusted to being at home full-time. I’m a structured person, and I live my life as though I was still going to my workplace each day—get up at the same time, shower, eat breakfast, drink my coffee, and get started on my workday. I am thankful for the fact that I CAN do this. I am grateful for my job, that I am still being paid a salary, because many people in private industry have been laid off temporarily. Our leaders trust us to get our work done at home instead of goofing off. It’s a matter of trust and it’s good to know that they trust us. Grateful is the operative word. Work is getting done, even though there is less of it. I don’t mind; it gives me time to reflect and to create new strategies for future research projects. We don’t always have that time when things are at their busiest.

My Brilliant Friend is a brilliant HBO series

We're in the midst of a corona virus pandemic and lockdown, which I'm contemplating writing about at some point. I probably will in future posts; right now it feels like overload--everywhere you turn, there's more news and info about the virus. I've been trying to adjust to working at home five days a week, to going out very little except to shop for groceries and to take an occasional walk, and to stopping myself from freaking out every time I turn on the news. I do less and less of the latter, because it causes me such anxiety. All of us are watching videos about how to wash your hands properly, how to disinfect all items that come into your home, and how to practice social distancing and self-isolation. I'm not having major problems with the latter; stay home and flatten the goddamn curve. Keep the healthcare professionals healthy by doing so. Stop complaining that your life has been curtailed if you are complaining--no one wants to hear it. We're all in the same boat. And it doesn't help the rest of us who want to try to help the doctors and nurses stay well.

So, in these strange and apocalyptic times, what have I been doing for enjoyment? Once my work is done for the day, I watch the brilliant, moving, riveting Italian series on HBO--My Brilliant Friend. I wrote a long post in February 2019 about this series of four books, the Neapolitan quadrilogy, by Elena Ferrante: https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/search?q=elena+ferrante . They haunt me to this day, and the HBO series will haunt me for the rest of my life--it is that perfect. Never before have I experienced a film or series that captures so perfectly the books on which they are based. I watch the series (so far books 1 and 2--My Brilliant Friend and The Story of a New Name--have been filmed) and it feels so real--this is what it must have been like to grow up in Lila and Elena's small neighbourhood in Naples in the 1950s. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give the HBO series a 10. Like the books, it evokes something so utterly visceral and primal in me; it is phenomenally well-acted. I feel like I am right there with the characters--in their homes, on the dusty streets of the neighbourhood, at school, hanging out with friends in the neighbourhood or at the beach on Ischia, and experiencing the angst and pain of first love and rejection. All the actors and actresses are superlative; the two young girls who play the preteen Lila and Elena (Ludovica Nasti and Elisa del Genio) are incredible, as are the actresses who play the teenage Lila and Elena (Gaia Girace and Margherita Mazzucco). I cannot imagine the actresses themselves not being affected by the parts they play. It would be interesting to hear their thoughts on the series. I hope there will be a season 3 and 4 so that all the books are covered. It will only get more interesting from hereon in. I know it takes time to produce the series; season 1 came out in 2018 and season 2 in 2020; if all goes according to plan, perhaps season 3 will show up in 2022 and season 4 in 2024. I hope the current pandemic doesn't delay the filming for too long, I read yesterday that the virus is now rampaging through the south of Italy. We'll see what the future brings. In any case, I can wholeheartedly recommend this series, and the music soundtrack by Max Richter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W14_WJatKSE

What I've learned from The Day of the Triffids, The Walking Dead, and 28 Days Later

I recently finished reading The Day of the Triffids, a science-fiction novel by British author John Wyndham published in 1951, about man-made carnivorous plants-the triffids-that begin to attack humans and kill them following a night-time meteor shower that blinds those who have watched it. Up to this point, they were aggressive in the sense of being able to sting people with their poisonous stingers, but after the meteor shower, they begin to move about and to kill humans. They are mostly localized to gardens, so that it remains safe for the most part to traverse city streets, but deadly to try to enter homes and dwellings that have any sort of garden attached to them. The opening scene, where the protagonist wakes up in a hospital bed (his eyes covered in bandages after having been splashed with triffid poison) to find himself almost alone, is one that has been borrowed by zombie apocalypse shows and films such as The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later.  The book is excellent in its portrayal of how people adapt to and cope in the new world of mostly-blind people wandering about in London and the rest of England, searching for food and for people to help them. As always in these types of stories, The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later included, the threat from monstrous creatures, while real, pales in comparison to the threat from the human monsters who take advantage of the situation and who try to control others with brute force. In other words, it becomes possible to shoot, hack at, and kill the zombies and triffids, but it is more difficult to do that with other human beings, because you don't always understand their motives until it is too late. In all three of these stories (book, TV series, and film), survivors band together in the search for food and safe lodging. It is not always smart to stay put if you first have found safe lodging, because at some point you will have to go out and find food, and that puts you at risk. You learn to kill the monsters, but you don't always know when they will appear. In The Day of the Triffids, those who can see (and who have a heart) try to take care of the blind people they run across, whereas other seeing people brutally shove them aside to let them die alone. Good people versus bad people, or are the bad people just the ones who have seen the grim future and understood that mankind has to make some hard choices? But we are human, and humans have hearts and empathy, and it is not easy to root that out. You will always have 'the every man for himself' type of people, and you will also have the altruistic people who always put others first. Both are extremes, because in a time of crisis, you need to have the middle-ground people, those who can see ahead and try to plan for the grim future, at the same time as they take care of the less fortunate.

Why do I bring up these apocalyptic themes? Because it is my contention that during times of crisis, you will sort into one of three groups of people: those who poo-poo the situation, ignore the seriousness of it and go about their lives as though nothing has happened (the 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil' type of people); those who panic and begin to hoard foodstuffs and household products ('the every man for himself' type of people); and those who understand the gravity of the situation and who try to keep a cool head in the midst of chaos (the 'common sense-we will get through this' type of people). It is the latter group that the world needs more of. They are the people who understand that there is safety and efficiency in numbers, that our spiritual values require us to help others especially in times of crisis, and that to use reason and intelligence is necessary in order to find workable solutions that will ensure survival. I'll put my money on them any day. That much I've learned from apocalyptic literature, series, and films.

Reflections on the corona virus situation during lockdown in Norway

A lot can happen in a week, and a lot can happen overnight. We don't really consider how quickly our lives can change, until change is forced upon us. The corona virus that originated in China has managed to change the world as we know it in one fell swoop. A pandemic has been declared by the World Health Organization. China and Italy are dealing with unprecedented and overwhelming healthcare crises, as will other countries shortly; there are shortages of necessary medical equipment and corona virus tests. Global stock markets are rising and falling violently each day, and many people have already lost a lot of money. Businesses risk bankruptcy, especially those in the airline and travel industries. Small businesses will also suffer--cafes, restaurants, hair salons/barber shops, independent bookstores, you name it. People in all countries are hoarding paper products (especially toilet paper), soap products, pasta, rice, flour, and sugar. If you're reading this, please don't hoard--it's selfish and stupid, and only creates problems down the road. In Norway, we are in lockdown (https://www.newsinenglish.no/2020/03/12/norway-shuts-down-to-control-corona/ ), which means that churches have closed their doors, masses are cancelled, sports and cultural events are cancelled, schools are closed, and workers have been laid off temporarily or told to work from home. I fall into the latter group; I work at a hospital in a pathology department that has to continue functioning in order to deal with the other groups of sick people who need diagnoses in order to start treatments, e.g. cancer patients. Their lives depend upon those diagnoses. So those of us who are not doctors or nurses or clinical lab personnel are not required at work, because our presence only increases the risk of infecting the healthcare workers who need to be there. It's not a problem for me. I can work from home; most of my work is administrative at this point anyway, and can be done on my computer. I support this effort, even as I know that some people in positions like mine, do not. I've been working at home one or two days a week for what seems like forever, and I enjoy it, but that's because I am a structured person and one who does not need a lot of social interaction with colleagues.

Current estimates say that the pandemic will be at its height during the summer season, from May through August. We will see. I had already booked my flights to NY in anticipation of my longed-for annual NY vacation in August, but bought cancellation insurance this year just in case--thinking ahead. Because if the pandemic continues, I will not be allowed to travel to NY at that time, since all airports here in Europe and in the USA will be closed to international flights. I will miss not being able to travel to NY, but I understand and accept the outcome if that is to be the case. There is nothing I can do about it in any case. It's very weird, the whole thing. It's hard to describe how it feels. I guess one would have to talk to an ordinary Italian person experiencing complete lockdown, to find out how they cope with not being able to do much of anything at the present time.

We will end up longing for our previous way of life, but I don't think our way of life can ever return to what was. Our parents knew what it was like to live through WWII--they remembered the rationing, the fear, the loss of loved ones, the overall suffering. We will talk about the 2020 pandemic in much the same way--the year when the world as we know it came to a screeching halt, when globalism in its current form died, when the power of the European Union (EU) was suddenly wrested from them and returned to the countries who should rightfully have the power to decide for themselves how things are going to be in their own countries. I haven't heard many commentaries from the EU about what is going on; surprising considering how much power they have wielded over the years, even over countries that are not members of the union. I think all European countries have now understood that they have to protect their own people first against this pandemic. That is not selfish, that is smart.

Please follow the advice given to you by healthcare professionals; wash your hands, work at home if you can, practice social distancing, don't hoard, and don't plan huge parties or gatherings at this time. It's possible to rebook weddings, trips, concerts, etc. for a future time. It's possible to think ahead and to plan accordingly. It's not life as usual anymore. And if you cannot adopt these ways of doing things freely by choice, then the government will eventually ensure that you do so by forcing you to do so. Which is more preferable?

Go figure (as in, you can never predict how people will react in a crisis situation)

Ok, I just couldn't resist. I'm trying to keep a balanced view on the whole corona virus situation. On the one hand, you have those who panic and run out to the stores to hoard food and of all things, toilet paper. Hence this cartoon...….On the other hand, you have the voices of reason who encourage people to stay calm and to carry on--in other words, do so in order to get through what appears to be a crisis. We'll see what develops. If we don't take the virus seriously, we could risk overwhelmed healthcare systems like what we've seen in China and Italy. If we overreact, we will be criticized for it afterward. It's hard to be a leader or politician in times of crisis. You realize that they are only human, and that they are doing the best they can. We should try not to criticize then, at least during this period that is ahead of us.

Feeling imprisoned, feeling free

This past Monday was one of those days when I felt as though I was imprisoned and needed to get out of jail fast. It was a work day, and it wasn't as though anything negative in particular happened to get the better of me. It's just that I reached the point of having had 'enough'. Enough of emails, enough of being stuck indoors, enough of sitting in a sterile office. Enough. It was a lovely day outside, the sun was shining, and temperatures were mild, so around 3 pm I decided to walk home. I plugged in my earbuds, found my playlist of favorite songs, and walked briskly home to the music. I love those days when I can do that. Those days when my body is in sync with the music, when walking is a pleasure (no pain anywhere), when I am singing along to the songs, when my mind soars and carries me back to good times years ago when I first listened to those songs. Born to be Wild, White Room, Badge, Dreadlock Holiday, I'm Not in Love, Get Ready, Out in the Country, Easy to be Hard, Steppin' Out, Winds of Change, Fig Tree Bay, In God's Country, Dream On, Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, and so many others. Those are just some the songs I listened to when I was writing my term paper for my college Spanish class about the poet Antonio Machado, driving along the highway in a white Trans-am with Jean, skating on the Tarrytown Lakes during winter all those years ago, sitting in my bedroom at home in Tappan Landing, playing chess with my friend's brother, getting ready to go dancing at a club in Manhattan, or talking to my sister about her boyfriend. I remember the feelings generated by those songs, and all I know is that they made me feel free, feel complete. Free to feel, free to love, free to be happy or sad, free to be myself. It sounds cliched, but it's not. It's a truly deep feeling of expansion; I think it is the soul's bid for expression in a world that drowns out all attempts at expression.  

Music transports me to those parts of my heart and soul that are often locked or at least inaccessible on a daily basis. They're hard to reach without music. It's as though the memories are always there, truly real, just waiting for the key in the door to open onto them again. It's as though they exist in a parallel time, which brings me back to one of my many reflections about time. Is it really linear? Sometimes it seems so, other times it seems as though it's circular, or curved here and there. Or that it exists in multiple places, or that time itself exists as multiple past and present moments simultaneously and that we are surrounded by that multiplicity. I don't know. No one does. But I do know that we are part of something bigger than ourselves, and music allows us to expand and soar toward that world.

These are strange times

These are strange times, apocalyptic times (that's sometimes how it feels to me). Climate change, weird weather, extreme weather, bee death, relentless forest fires in Australia, and now the corona virus (I'm waiting for the spread of a zombie virus). I keep telling my husband that I'll know what to do if the zombie apocalypse arrives; after all, I've watched almost eight seasons of The Walking Dead. And I did learn something--that we humans are our own worst enemy, in terms of how we will treat each other, especially if a longer-term pandemic does become the reality concerning the corona virus. But people are afraid and I understand that. As of today, the number of confirmed infected persons in Norway is 56, but there are many people who are quarantined, waiting for symptoms to develop (or not) after exposure to infected people. I work in the healthcare profession, at a hospital where the contagion began at the eye department with a doctor who had recently come home from vacation in northern Italy. Unfortunate circumstances led to some of his co-workers being infected, and also that over four hundred patients had to be contacted because they had been in for consultations during the several days it took to confirm that the doctor was indeed infected with the virus. Information and status updates are one thing; containment is another discussion entirely.
I'm not sure what to make of it all. I take precautions--washing my hands, sneezing into my elbow, working at home when I can, but the scientist in me tells me that it will be very hard to contain the virus. It will spread. Whether or not it will lead to fatalities is another question. I hope not. I understand the difficult (nearly impossible) job that hospital leaders face. Should they tell all employees to stay home? They cannot, because they need their staff to take care of sick patients and to perform scheduled operations and tests. Patients could die of non-virus-related causes if they don't get the care they need. There is a risk associated with all decisions. For example, potentially-infected people can be quarantined, but can you police them day and night? Can you ensure that they won't go outside their homes to shop, walk the dog, etc.? And who will be doing the policing? Can you quarantine whole families? After all, if one person is quarantined, he or she will come into contact with family members, unless he or she is shunned by family members. I'm not sure how it all can work according to plan. The human factor has to be factored in--the factor that says that a sick or infected person will be cared for by his or her family members. How do you avoid that? Time will tell how all of this will develop. But we have already seen the effects of 'pandemic' thinking on global economies and the stock market. It's hard to predict how long all of this will last. We can hope that it will be over fairly soon. The question will be what have we learned from this experience. One can hope that it will help us to prepare better for the next eventuality.