I read these articles and I try to find understanding in my mind and heart for the priests who have committed these atrocities against children. I find none. What I feel is anger and loathing; anger at the attempts to silence the victims and to pretend that the abuse did not happen, something the church can no longer do, and loathing for the sheer arrogance and belief that the faithful would accept the explanations for the bad behavior, move on, and forget about it. Maybe some of the faithful can do that; I cannot. If you read the first article, it talks about the sense of betrayal that is felt by many of the faithful, and how they might deal with that. Like married couples where one partner has betrayed the other by being unfaithful, it will be a long road back to re-establish trust in the person who committed the betrayal, if it ever happens. Likewise with the church; it will take a long time for the faithful to get over this, and I think that's the right reaction. I don't find it in myself to simply accept the explanations anymore. I want action. I want change. I want the pedophiles to pay for their crimes after having been tried as the criminals they are in a court of law. I want justice for the victims. And that is exactly what the second article is focused on--the criminal priests will not be let off the hook anymore. There will be aggressive criminal investigations, and rightly so. Thank God. This is not about persecution of the Catholic church; it is about persecution of those men who call themselves priests, when in reality they are nothing more than common criminals, who have lived off the good will and economic support of the faithful. They deserve nothing less than life in prison.
I am angry at myself for buying into some of the ideas that the church pushed over the years, especially when I was a teenager. That the word of male priests was somehow 'law'. That unmarried male priests could tell us how to be married, could tell married women what their 'duty' was toward their husbands, could push warped ideas about sex and love on us as teenagers, that only led to unnecessary guilt. I've always thought it strange that sex was promoted as an evil activity for the unmarried to engage in, but that once you were married, it was suddenly holy and good. How many marriages in my generation suffered as a result of that way of thinking? It would have been far better to have focused on self-respect and on the importance of respecting others' wishes when it came to sex and to so many other things. I no longer buy into any of these ideas, but when we were teenagers, it was excruciating at times to listen to this folly. There was a period (post Vatican II) when the doors seemed to fly open and the church seemed to be on the path toward true enlightenment, when it felt as though change was in the air and anything was possible--male priests could perhaps marry if they wanted to, women could perhaps become priests, and so on. But no, none of it came to pass. And why not, when you think about it? Jesus Christ was friends with men and women. He had the utmost respect for women. I have always said that it would not bother me in the least if we found out that he had married and had children. His mission on this earth would have been the same.
Going to mass and sharing in that fellowship are still important to me, although I find myself torn now in a way I never was before. I sit there in the pew and feel the anger inside of me, anger because not one of the priests in my church ever comments on the current scandal. They should. They should be talking about it, opening the doors for the faithful to talk about it, and to talk about how betrayed they feel by the criminal priests and by the church for protecting these priests and covering up their crimes. How could these pedophile priests stand in the pulpits Sunday after Sunday preaching what they no longer (and perhaps never) believed in? Telling the faithful how to behave. How in good conscience do you do that to the faithful, good people who are essentially supporting you financially? How can you stand up there and lie? And how can so many priests stand up there now and defend the blowhard Trump--who stands for all that Christ did not stand for? How in good conscience can they do that? I am currently at odds with the church, with its patriarchal attitudes and its careerist bureaucrats, with its arrogance and blaming of others, and with its lies. I am fed up and disappointed in its support of Trump where that is the case. I may go to mass, but I am now a resister. I no longer buy what they're selling. If they don't want to discuss what's going on and face the wrath of the faithful, then they can skip the sermons and the singing. They can shut their mouths and just celebrate the mass--quietly, solemnly, seriously. And then let us go about our lives. I for one won't miss the preaching.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/06/opinion/couples-therapy-catholic-church.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/06/nyregion/catholic-sex-abuse.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage