Apartment living and respect for others

I grew up in an apartment together with my two siblings. We lived on the second floor of a garden apartment complex. We grew up at a time when children did not have the freedom to express themselves however they like, that they do now. I don't feel that I was unfairly treated by my parents when they told us not to run around, jump up and down, scream or generally make a lot of noise out of respect for our downstairs neighbors. We just didn't do that. And if we were loud on occasion, we risked our parents' anger and displeasure. 

Nowadays it seems that anything goes. We know people who live on the third floor of a four-floor co-op apartment complex; the apartment directly over them is inhabited by a family with two children, one of school age and the other a toddler. During the past several years, they have lived with having to listen to crying (ok for the most part--children cry), occasional yelling, frequent stomping and running heavily around the apartment (the older child), throwing of objects on the floor (the toddler), bouncing balls, and the entire family waking up between 5 and 5:30 am for whatever reason. Neither parent seems to work outside the home (they work at home), so why they need to be up so early is anyone's guess. They are a noisy family and there are no rugs in their apartment to dampen the noise. So the people we know end up waking up around that time as well. Involuntarily. The parents seem to be averse to disciplining the older child, so she does and says basically what she wants. 

This would never have flown when I was a child. Our downstairs neighbors never had a complaint about us. And there would have been complaints had we been noisy. So it tells me that my parents had the right idea in not allowing us to behave like rambunctious children. Children need to be taught when they are young that they cannot behave just as they please. But in society at present, and especially in this country, it seems that anything goes where children are involved. Children rule. You cannot yell at a child without risking criticism. I know that to be true from a younger friend of mine who has tried (in this country) to correct/yell at her child when he did something wrong. Unless you are physically or psychologically abusive, normal correction/criticism/yelling is necessary at times when raising children. You cannot let children do exactly what they want, when they want. They do not know what's best for them. 

Back to the family who live above the people we know. The parents should enforce some ground rules for living above neighbors. They should instruct the older child to stop stomping and running about. They should put rugs on the floors. They should abide by the co-op complex rules about no noise between 11 pm and 7 am. But they don't. I guess it's hard to expect children to have respect for neighbors when the parents don't. 

A twist on an old adage

'Children should be seen and not heard' is an old adage, several hundred years old, that I came across often in children's books when I was a child. Our parents never used this phrase, but I understand that it probably was used more often in their grandparents' generation. In any case, it speaks for itself. Children should not say much, should 'not speak until spoken to' and should not bother adults. 

I remembered this adage yesterday when I had lunch with a friend who was commenting on the behavior of the leaders in her workplace. Her opinion was that there are too many leaders with nothing to do and since they have nothing to do, they have to micromanage their employees. They dissect every little thing, they treat their employees like children who need to be brought up correctly, and they argue and criticize ad nauseam. The readers of this blog know how I feel about most leaders. With some few exceptions, most leaders are not worth their salt and not worth what they're paid. 'To become a leader' is the career goal of many young people, and society accommodates that goal by allowing unprofessional and shockingly unknowledgeable individuals to become leaders. Leadership in and of itself has become a career, a profession. If you've taken leadership courses, the assumption is that you are automatically qualified to be a leader, whether it's of a bank, a hospital, or any other organization that should actually hire leaders on the basis of their professional knowledge of the field. But since the early 2000s, that seems to be a bygone idea. Thus you have the merry-go-round of leaders, who move from leading a hospital to leading a bank to leading a biotech corporation. The key word is that they are 'leaders', that's what's important. This way of thinking has permeated the work world to the point where there are too many unqualified leaders and not enough qualified workers to do the real work. How could there be, when most departmental budgets go to paying the enormously inflated salaries of said leaders. In my former workplace, the end result was that the qualified employees were told by unqualified leaders to strive to work more effectively, as though they hadn't done so before. 'Working more effectively' translates to 'do the work of several people, not just one'. It's just more bullshit to add to the ever-growing pile of bullshit that average ordinary employees are expected to tolerate. 

So my twist on the old adage is 'leaders should be seen and not heard'. My friend agreed. It would go a long way toward making her workplace more tolerable. It would be wonderful if most leaders stayed in the background and let their employees do the jobs they were hired to do, without micromanaging and dissecting every little thing they do. It would go a long way toward creating stable and effectively-functioning workplaces. Let employees do their jobs in peace, without having to listen to the endless and monotonous motivational nonsense that permeates modern workplaces. There should be fewer leaders overall; there is no need for most of them if they cannot justify their positions. It's not enough to have the title and salary of 'leader'. You need to know what you are doing in the field that you lead, and you need to step back and get out of the way of your qualified employees. If they need your help or advice, they'll ask for it. But they will not do so of leaders whom they deem to be unqualified for their positions. The title of 'leader' does not automatically qualify you for respect; you have to earn that. 

A beautiful hymn for Easter

This is not only a hymn but a prayer--beautiful--and just what the world needs at present. Light to shine against the darkness that is dragging down the world. We need renewal, a renewal that focuses on peace, kindness, no violence, no aggression. 

One approach

Thank God for the comics.........

My laugh for the day

 

Don't bother me with nonsense

I read this article today and it resonated with me: Older People Are Holding Nothing Back About What It's Really Like To Get Old  One of the comments from an older man was the following:

"I have friends and family who like to watch Fox News and get all jacked up. They don't see that they are giving away a huge part of their life to unnecessary bitterness. That sucks. I don't watch the news at all, except the weather. It's my life, and I'll spend whatever time I have being happy. If I can't fix it, then I'm not going to fret over it. Peace is a very valuable thing......."

This. I couldn't have said it better myself. What a waste of life to sit and watch Fox News or any news channel for that matter, 24/7. To be so addicted to anger and bitterness and hype and aggression. To be triggered, like he says, by events in the world that you can do nothing about. Like him, I'll opt for peace any day of the week. I don't need to be that informed. I know what's going on in the world, all of the misery, killing, wars, bombings, etc. I don't need to have continual updates. I don't want them. 

And while we're at it, I don't like political extremism of any kind. So while I am not far-right, I am not far-left either. I'm in the middle, always have been, always will be. So kindly leave us alone, us middle-of-the-roaders. Back off, all of you hyped-up, cult-like, aggressive individuals on both sides of the political spectrum. I don't want you or your endless tirades in my life. I don't want to be part of your nonsensical behavior nor do I want to deal with your nonsense. I don't care who you are. Leave me alone. 

Fifteen hundred dollars for lunch?

Who in their right mind would pay this much to eat lunch or dinner at the Noma pop-up in Los Angeles? Yes, it will cost $1,500 to eat at Noma L.A. René Redzepi explains why - Los Angeles Times; Noma's $1,500 dinner is the antithesis of L.A. - Los Angeles Times It wouldn't be me, although I know a few people who would jump at the chance. Because Noma and its world-famous chef René Redzepi are in vogue and no one wants to miss out on this experience.

I tired of the celebrity chef culture and the trendy restaurant of the week many years ago. I got tired of hearing and reading about the cook of the month, male or female, and their elevation to the status of god. Social media and the media generally pushed a lot of them to considerable heights. I am not interested in watching competitive cooking shows or shows dominated by reigning celebrity chefs. I don't like watching famous chefs tear a restaurant apart based on the menu or the way food is prepared, and yelling at and berating the staff or the owners. It makes me cringe. Ultimately, I don't care about what I label as an incredibly over-hyped and fake world. I don't want to pay thousands of dollars to eat at a Michelin-starred restaurant. I don't care about Michelin stars or the competition involved to obtain a star. 

I want to eat tasty food and enjoy a meal out, yes. If that means a really good taco at a local taco chain, so be it. If it's good food, I'm on board. That's all I care about. My tastes are not refined; I veer more toward good barbecue food or good diner food (a la Diners, Drive-ins and Dives). I used to enjoy watching that tv show because it was entertaining and hosted by a fairly down-to-earth man, Guy Fieri. And the prepared food looked so good!  I don't know if Fieri is still a salt-of-the-earth type. I no longer watch such shows so I really have no idea. 

I have eaten at trendy restaurants in Oslo a couple of times during the past twenty years--six- or eight-course meals where presentation was the operative word. Tiny amounts of food presented artistically. Good food, but not spectacular. I remember one of the restaurants served grilled chicken that was actually fried and very greasy. Not at all good. The other experience found me trapped for an entire evening (from 7 pm until well after midnight) at a farm-to-table restaurant that held lectures between courses about the importance of locally-sourced foods. That meal cost well over three hundred dollars per person, of which I paid half as a birthday gift to the woman who was being celebrated by her workplace. I couldn't wait for the evening to end. I finally left when they were talking about serving dessert at 12;30 am. That was enough for me. I understood that we were paying for the experience of eating at a three-star Michelin restaurant. But as I said previously, I just don't care. Give me a good grilled cheese sandwich or a tuna melt with a deli pickle on the side, at the local diner. I don't ask for much more. 

The haves and the have-nots

We often think of US politics in terms of liberals versus conservatives, left versus right, democrats versus republicans. But it's not that at all in my opinion. Nowadays, it's a question of the 'haves' versus the 'have nots'. The gap between them is growing larger with each day that passes. The 'haves' are the millionaires and billionaires--the ones who live well and have no trouble paying any of their bills or their taxes (if they pay taxes at all). The 'have nots' are those others, the majority of Americans who work two jobs to make ends meet, to pay their bills, to buy homes, and to put their children through college. 

According to online sources, there are 900 billionaires in the US, out of a population of circa 340 million people. That translates to about 0.00026% of the population. The combined fortune of U.S. billionaires grew to $6.9 trillion in 2025, according to Fortune.com. The percentage of millionaires is about 18%. Most of the wealth is in the hands of the billionaires and the millionaires. 

According to Census.gov, the real median household income in the US was $83,730 in 2024. Whether or not you make more or less than this figure, the fact remains that you are not likely to become a billionaire. You may have a shot at millionaire after a long work life, so that when you retire maybe you have close to a million dollars in the bank. Unfortunately, a major sickness involving expensive treatments and long hospital stays might deplete half of that. 

According to Yahoo Finance/the BLS Consumer Expenditures Report, the average American spends a total of approximately $78,535 annually (2024), or about $6,545 per month The Average U.S. Household's Expenses Are About $78,535 A Year —Yet The Average Annual Salary is Just $67,080. I include the list of expenditures from this report: 

• Housing: $26,266
• Transportation: $13,318
• Food: $10,169
• Insurance & Pensions: $9,817
• Healthcare: $6,206
• Remaining categories include education, entertainment, clothing, personal care, and miscellaneous expenses.

Single families spend less while families with two children spend more. For those families who have children that end up going to college, they must start saving toward tuition already when the children are toddlers. According to EducationData.org, the Average Cost of College [2026]: Yearly Tuition + Expenses are as follows (their list): 

• Public 4-Year (In-State): ~$10,634–$25,890
• Public 4-Year (Out-of-State): ~$31,009–$41,950
• Private Nonprofit 4-Year: ~$41,942–$52,500
• Private For-Profit 4-Year: ~$16,579
• Community College (2-Year): ~$7,196–$17,930 

If you have two children of college age and neither of them qualify for tuition aid or do not get scholarships, parents are looking at a minimum of $100,000 total for four years at a public 4-year in-state college. I would hazard a guess that the total amounts are way more than this. How do parents do it? No wonder parents are working two or more jobs to make ends meet. 

I am far from the only person who thinks the distribution of wealth in the US is entirely unfair. I am no socialist, but I do think that the US would benefit from a more equal distribution of wealth. As far as I can determine, the average American is just expected to make do, to grin and bear the hardships. Food prices continue to increase, ditto for gas prices. College tuition is out of sight. God forbid there should be a major health issue in any average family. Young couples starting out are having major difficulties saving money to buy a home without substantial help from parents. And yet Americans continue to defend this system and to criticize countries where taxes may be higher, but basic needs like healthcare and college tuition are essentially free. In Norway there is a deductible of about $300 before healthcare coverage kicks in. Doctors' visits are much less expensive than in the US, ditto for CAT scans, MRIs, etc. College students can take up loans for room and board or they can commute to school from home or off-campus housing, but they don't have to worry about paying tuition. Taxes on gasoline, alcohol and tobacco, as well as higher taxes on food and clothing compared to the US all contribute to funding free healthcare and free tuition. Why don't Americans want this kind of system? Norway is a mixed-market capitalist economy just like the US, except that it has tighter governmental regulations on industry. It's not a perfect system, but it has no national debt (the US debt is over $38 trillion). Norway has the oil fund that at present tallies at about $2 trillion. This too helps to fund the welfare system from which most Norwegians benefit. 

I don't have solutions to the economic problems in the US, but I've got to wonder why more Americans don't demand their fair share. Most of them work themselves to the bone for very few monetary rewards. Yes, there is freedom of speech and thought, but there is not much freedom in being a wage slave or in living from paycheck to paycheck. It's not fair when those few percent at the top live like kings, spending millions of dollars on yachts and weddings and God knows what else. The wealthiest among us should pay their fair share of taxes, and the government should provide better healthcare coverage for its citizens. Why this is even an issue in 2026 is beyond my comprehension. 

Resetting the world

I saw this yesterday on a pedestrian signal pole and took a photo. Struck a nerve, especially with the world as it is at present......

Learning to say no

I thought learning to say no during my life thus far would be easier than it has turned out to be. I thought I had mastered some aspects of it, but it turns out that I have a long way to go before I master the art of saying no. Because it is an art. It must be learned, over and over again. There are many ways to say no, brutally, softly, charmingly, assertively. It's difficult to know when to be brutal and when to be soft. But the overall point is to say 'no' and mean it in situations where a 'no' is warranted. When the word 'no' will protect your sanity and your health. 

Why am I bringing this up today? Because I recently read Gabor Maté's book When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. His book is a good presentation of what happens to the body when its owner becomes overwhelmed by stress. I started reading the book as a skeptic but finished it with an (albeit grudging) acceptance of the premise. I didn't want to read yet another book that told me that illness is of our own making. That if we only think positive, that we'll never get sick. That's bullshit. Genetics play a big role in the illnesses that we suffer from; I know that from my own family, where cardiovascular disease occurs frequently from generation to generation. My father and brother died of heart disease; my aunt and uncle on my father's side and many relatives on my mother's side did also. So just so it's clear where I stand. Cancer and heart disease are not your fault. That's often how sick people are made to feel. Maté does suggest that there is an association between what you do/how you think and feel and the development of different illnesses. What he observes as a doctor and researcher is that many of his patients with cancer and neurological diseases are good, caring, giving people. Many of them are women, some are men. What is common to all of them is that they cannot say no to anyone, but especially to loved ones and family members. They take on a lot of stress in the form of caregiving and serving others, putting themselves last (neglecting their own wishes, dreams and health), and giving of themselves until there is nothing left to give. They have a lot of repressed anger and they are the types that won't say no because they will feel guilty. But as Maté says, better to live with the guilt than with the resentment that stems from repressed anger at never standing up for yourself or what you want and need. He doesn't blame his patients for their illnesses, rather, he explores their mindset with them, trying to get them to see how their life situations/emotional responses are impacting their health. Our bodies can only take so much until they say stop--enough--we're exhausted, tired, worn out, used-up and if you don't wake up, we won't be able to sustain you. Chronic stress can kill you, as a lot of research can attest to. The link between chronic stress and illness is an ongoing topic of research, as is the role of epigenetics.  

When I was younger and experiencing difficult relationship situations, I thought about the role of chronic stress and resultant illness. I 'knew' somehow that living in situations that caused me chronic stress would wear me down and wear me out and make me ill. I am not a passive person by nature, I am instead proactive, so I want to prevent the negative impact on myself of such situations. Prior to my divorce when I was in my twenties, I remember thinking that if I continued to live in such an unhealthy relationship, that I would be severely sick by middle age (forties/fifties). Luckily that did not become the case. Our environment contributes to the epigenetic influences (behavioral and environmental factors) that end up turning specific genes on and off without altering the underlying DNA sequence. This basically means that having to deal with chronic stress situations can result in the turning on or off of specific genes that deal with inflammation and immune response, for example. Perhaps those genes are protective against the negative impacts of chronic stress, but over time, the protective response can go awry. Too much of a good thing? There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to this field of study. 

Last year at this time I was dealing with a defective cardiac mitral valve that resulted in open-heart surgery to repair the valve. The operation was successful and here I am, a year later, back on my feet and in reasonably good form. I was born with a benign heart murmur as were several people I know; when we were children such things were registered/graded but there was little to do about them since they were classified as benign and harmless. I imagine that there is some hereditary component to the actual defect underlying the murmur, but the murmur itself is not inherited. But do I think that life's stresses can contribute to the worsening of the defective valve? I do. I think the chronic stress during the last ten to fifteen years of my career, a career that I loved deeply, contributed to the high blood pressure that perhaps impacted the functioning of the valve. I'm guessing at this point, but the chronic stress I experienced due to poor and harassing leadership, and the subsequent 'divorce' from my job (learning to let go of it while remaining in my position, and grieving the loss of something I loved) over a long period, contributed to the heart problems I had, in combination with the hereditary aspects of familial cardiovascular disease. If I had not experienced harassment (emotional trauma), would I have had the mitral valve problems I had last year? Did my job 'break' my heart? It's hard to say. But now that I no longer work, I realize that the stress associated with my former job was insidious. I gave my all to that job and then some. I realize now that I could have cut my dedication by fifty percent and the result would have been the same. My work was not appreciated and that wears a person down, especially a person who defines himself or herself as a loyal, intelligent and dedicated employee. Knowing that it didn't matter whether you were there or not does not contribute to overall good health. I should have learned to say no when the leadership problems first started. I should have stood up more for myself. It took me some years to learn to do that, to fight back and to say what I meant. Not that it mattered. But at least I did learn, although the stress had already done its damage. 

People say that you have to die of something, whether cancer or heart disease or neurological disorders. I don't know. I think about family members and friends who passed way too soon (when they were in their fifties, sixties, early seventies). Without exception, all of them were good people, stuck in overwhelmingly stressful situations. Some of them could not say no because had they done so, their families would have fallen apart. So they stayed in jobs they hated, they stayed in unhealthy marriages or unhealthy family situations, ignoring their own health needs and ignoring the signals their bodies were giving them about overdoing things. There are no do-overs in this life. At some point, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say--today is the day I prioritize myself. Even if it's just one day a week. Shut the door, listen to music, go for a walk, tune out the world, tune out your job, don't respond to work emails 24/7, tune out demanding family members. Just tune out. Give yourself the gift of that one day. I don't know if it will make a huge difference health-wise, but it's worth a shot. 

Intimations of spring

Today is one of those late-winter days that signal that spring is in the air. When I walked to church this morning, the sun was making its best effort to break through the clouds, and the temperature was around 41 degrees F. Although the sidewalks are still a bit slippery here and there, the snow is melting and if these temperatures continue, Oslo will be snow-free by mid-March. And that bodes well for my return to the garden. I can't wait. As I walked home from church down Telthusbakken street, I remembered back to the mid-1980s when I would travel up to my parents' house by train from my Bronx apartment on a few Easter Sundays, savoring the early spring feeling that permeated the month of March and early April. Spring was in the air. It is that good feeling I remember--the warmth of the sun, the brightness of the colors around me, and the happy feeling that was infectious. It enveloped me. People were happy that winter was over, and on Easter Sunday, New Yorkers were dressed in their finery and milling about, at least in Manhattan. I often took the subway into Manhattan to get the Metro-North Hudson Line train at Grand Central Station so that I could enjoy the train ride up along the river. I still love that train ride all these years later. 

These were my thoughts today walking home from church--remembering Easter Sundays all those years ago. Remembering dressing up in dresses from Best & Company when my sister and I were children, and pairing them with the black patent leather shoes that were popular then. And we had to have our Easter hats. I still have one of mine that I use as decoration. A past time when dressing up for church and special occasions was the norm. I treasure those days for the memories of family and a way of living that has passed, but I will say that I no longer really dress up that way because I prioritize comfort now. It's a seldom occasion that warrants fine dresses, stockings and high heels. And it's not these things so much that I miss, it's the time with family, the celebration of Easter and the intimations of spring that I treasure most. 

That's what I felt on my walk home today--intimations of spring. I look forward to spring each year. The rebirth of life, birds chirping happily, buds on the trees, and a feeling of permeating happiness. This is what is important to me, in the midst of the trials and tribulations of the world at large. I cannot focus on that world any longer. There is no peace to find there, and it does not seem to me that men in power anywhere truly want or value peace. I sometimes wonder if they ever just step outside and listen—to the birdsong, to the pulse of nature around them. Truly, I wonder. How can someone watch and hear birds searching for mates, driven by the instinct to start families, and then turn around only to wage wars that bring mayhem and destruction? A love for nature and a desire for war cannot coexist. Prioritizing one means deprioritizing the other. 

Help Me by Joni Mitchell

I heard this song the other day and it brought me right back to 1974 when it was first released. I remember singing it as loud as I could when I was by myself. 'Help me' indeed. Which one of us has not had this experience that she sings about--falling in love with someone knowing that it may not last, knowing that the other person is a 'rambler and a gambler and a sweet-talking ladies man?' And yet pursuing the relationship anyway even when we knew it was not likely to go anywhere? When we were young, it seemed so vitally important that we took the relationship opportunities seriously. After all, they might be the only real opportunities for love that would come our way. I remember my brother telling me post-divorce that there were a lot of other 'fish in the sea'. It didn't seem to me to be true at all. That's how many of us thought when we were young and why we made mistakes and continued to make mistakes until we learned. We learned the hard way. Learning the hard way lent itself to a plethora of books written on the subject, about why women choose the wrong men and vice versa. But mostly about why smart women choose the wrong men. They're still doing it in 2026, so the heart is not a smart learner.

In any case, this song's message is timeless:

Two great songs by Dina Ögon

I love these two songs by the Swedish band Dina Ögon, which translates to "Your Eyes" in English. These two songs are from their album that was released this month, entitled Människobarn (meaning Human Child). 

Människobarn is the first song, and Margaretas Sång is the second. 

Lyrics to Människobarn (Human Child):

Vad, vad, vad är det där du kämpar för?

Vad är det där du kämpar för?

Vad är det du kämpar för?

Du tror du sparkar uppåt, du sparkar ner, ner, ner, ner

Vad, vad, vad är det där du bryr dig om?

Vad är det där du bryr dig om?

Vad är det du bryr dig om

När kärlek och frihet blir till makt och kontroll?

Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?

När du får styra och inte bara åka med

Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?

Det finns inget mer att erövra, inget mer att se

När, när, när kommer du att stanna upp?

När kommer du att stanna upp?

När kommer du stanna upp

Du ger aldrig upp och vänder dig om och ser ner, ner, ner, ner

När, när, när kommer du att ramla ner?

När kommer du att ramla ner?

När kommer du ramla ner

Och faktiskt se hur högt du är, du har redan nått till

Höga toppar

Höga toppar, högt i det blå

Höga toppar (kommer du ramla, kommer du ramla)

Höga toppar, högt i det blå (kommer du ramla, kommer du ramla)

(Kommer du ramla ner?)

Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?

När du får styra och inte bara åka med

Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?

Det finns inget mer att erövra, inget mer att se

Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?

När du får styra och inte bara åka med

Är du nöjd nu, människobarn?

Det finns inget mer att erövra, inget mer att se

Writer(s): Anna Ahnlund, Daniel Ogren

-----------------------------------------------------

and here are the lyrics translated to English courtesy of Google Translate:

What, what, what is it that you're fighting for?

What is it that you're fighting for?

What is it that you're fighting for?

You think you're kicking up, you're kicking down, down, down, down

What, what, what is it that you care about?

What is it that you care about?

What is it that you care about

When love and freedom turn into power and control?

Are you satisfied now, human child?

When you get to rule and not just ride along

Are you satisfied now, human child?

There's nothing more to conquer, nothing more to see

When, when, when will you stop?

When will you stop?

When will you stop

You never give up and turn around and look down, down, down, down

When, when, when will you fall down?

When will you fall down?

When will you fall down

And actually see how high you are, you've already reached

High peaks

High peaks, high in the blue

High peaks (will you fall, will you fall)

High peaks, high in the blue (will you fall, will you fall)

(Will you fall down?)

Are you satisfied now, human child?

When you get to rule and not just ride along

Are you satisfied now, human child?

There's nothing more to conquer, nothing more to see

Are you satisfied now, human child?

When you get to rule and not just ride along

Are you satisfied now, human child?

There's nothing more to conquer, nothing more to see

Writer(s): Anna Ahnlund, Daniel Ogren

Must be something in the water

Years ago, I worked with a man at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center who had very little good to say about one of the fifty states in the USA. That state will remain unnamed, but he wondered if there was something in the drinking water that made people behave strangely. Of course he said this in a humoristic way so that no one could take offense, but still. All these years later, his words have come back to me, mostly because I think so many people (mostly men) serving in the highest levels of American government are just plain weird. Is there something in the water that is making these men behave bizarrely? Weird, strange, off-kilter, caricature-like, but definitely of the patriarchal sort. You know the types--the ones who think they know best and are in your face about it 24/7. I've called these types of men dinosaurs in earlier posts, but now I call them the weird last vestiges of a dying race of dinosaurs. And thank God for that. 

These are not the men who should lead us further into the 21st century. We should not want them to lead us. And the women who support them are no better. None of these men and women are visionaries, They are mostly boring sycophants. They are not free-thinkers, they are not intellectuals, they are not smart people. They distrust scientific research and the value of firm scientific data. They deny the validity of scientific data. They ignore facts in favor of their own subjective ways of thinking. They parrot back the views, words, and opinions of one conservative television channel in particular, one that is known for dissecting every little thing that the liberal side stands for or utters. They are like carnivores at a kill--tear apart and chew and chomp and spit out the bones and fragments that remain. They are awful people, besides being boring beyond belief. The liberal side is often no better, but they are heads and shoulders above the conservative sycophants. 

I don't know what's in store for the country. I only hope that the dinosaurs become extinct soon and that a new age of intelligent animal is ushered in. God knows we need that. 

Music to train by--Ready to Go by Republica

I started my training session (treadmill) yesterday with this song--Ready to Go by Republica. One of the best songs from the 1990s (released in 1996). Love the song but not the video. The video makes me dizzy what with the zooming in and out, in and out. But having said that, it's a great song to move to. And the others I like to train to have the same kind of driving beat. I've made a playlist and I'll share it in one of my near-future posts. In the meantime, enjoy: 

Lyrics

Ready to go
Ready to go

You're weird, in tears
Too near and too far away
He said, "Saw red
Went home, stayed in bed all day"

Your T-shirt's dish dirt
Always love the one you hurt

It's a crack, I'm back, yeah
I'm standing on the rooftops shouting out
Baby, I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go
From the rooftops, shout it out

It's a crack, I'm back, yeah
I'm standing on the rooftops having it
Baby, I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go
From the rooftops, shout it out
Shout it out

You sleep too deep
One week is another world
(Big mouth) big mouth (drop out) drop out
You get what you deserve
You're strange, insane
One thing you can never change

It's a crack, I'm back, yeah
I'm standing on the rooftops, shouting out
Baby, I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go
From the rooftops, shout it out

It's a crack, I'm back, yeah
I'm standing on the rooftops, having it
Baby, I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go
From the rooftops, shout it out
Shout it out
Ready to go

Abused, confused
Always love the one that
Hurt ya, hurt ya, hurt ya, hurt ya

It's a crack, I'm back, yeah
I'm standing on the rooftops, shouting out
Baby, I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go
From the rooftops, shout it out

It's a crack, I'm back, yeah
I'm standing on the rooftops, having it
Baby, I'm ready to go
I'm back and ready to go
From the rooftops, shout it out

It's a crack
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Andrew Leslie Todd / Samantha Marie Sprackling / Jonathan Edward Male / Timothy Michael Dorney

Ready to Go lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Mgb Ltd., Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Universal/momentum Music Ltd., Tim Dorney Pub Designee, Momentum Music, Notting Hill Music Uk Limited, David Jaymes Associates Limited, Sentient Music Limited

Achieving a grateful exit

I saw this today and wanted to share it with you, because it's how I felt when it was time to leave the work world behind. I had and still have no regrets about leaving/retiring early. Mine was a graceful exit, well-planned ahead of time, thankfully. I knew exactly what I wanted in terms of leaving, and when I wanted to leave. I left right after my last PhD student defended her thesis, and when I could turn over the reins of my biobanking job to another qualified individual. It's best to leave the work world behind with a peaceful and satisfied feeling, and I was able to do that. I did my best, which I defined as the best that I could do in any given work situation. Could I have done better? Probably yes. But I chose to stay within certain limits so that I didn't create excessive stress for myself out of concern for my health. The last decade of my work life was spent focusing on how to make each day a healthy one, because up to that point much of my job was spent sitting at a desk in front of a computer. Focusing on my health meant not overworking or taking on huge projects that I knew would overwhelm me. As it was, I did take on a new and challenging role four years before I retired, but one that I was well prepared for, given my background. So that worked out successfully. It was a good feeling to know that I could still master a new area, but also that I managed to do so within the confines of a normal work week. Gone were the days of working long hours overtime. 

When I retired, one chapter of my life was laid to rest, and another one opened--one that I wanted to fill with new adventures. I have managed to do that, despite some health issues this past year. Hopefully I'll be able to put them behind me for good and to focus on what I hope to focus on, more traveling with my good friends and with my husband. This year has started out very well, with a one-week trip to Charleston South Carolina with my two closest friends, and a two-week trip to Saint Raphael France with my husband. I have some ideas about travel plans for next year, among them an Amtrak train trip over the northwest part of the USA. Lots to look forward to! I hope that my friends who are still working will remember to put other aspects of their lives first, because we don't have unlimited time here on this earth. If there are things you'd like to do, if you have a bucket list, prioritize them. But if you love your work above all else, then by all means continue working. I know a few people who will find being retired to be a boring existence. I don't understand it, but it really does take all kinds to make a world.

Finding peace in beauty

I wish there was a way to bottle the beauty of a place, the beauty that gives one peace of soul. The beauty of the ocean today, staring out at the horizon, watching the waves come in and then crashing against the shore. The beauty of a city that is just that--beautiful at every turn. I wish there was a way of bottling the bright sunshine that warmed us as we sat outdoors eating lunch at La Brocherie. A way of bottling the experience of not having a care in the world, of not having to stress about anything at all. Because God knows we live in a world that is constantly clamoring for our attention, 24/7. There is rarely any peace from the news that invades each waking day. The only thing I want to do while I am here on vacation in Saint Raphael is to walk along the waterfront promenade on the sunny days and watch the children riding happily on the carousel. The carousel is what I remember from the first time I was in this city--an old-fashioned carousel--the kind you would expect to find at Coney Island or other amusement parks in the early 1900s. Indeed, when I googled carousel in Saint Raphael, some links that were returned mentioned that the double-decker carousel 'was probably built in the early 1900s by Gustave Bayol of Angers in France'. Apparently, these types of carousels are not unusual in France. If so, how wonderful. I would love to see more of them in my travels. 

As I walk along the promenade, I can 'see' in my mind's eye what this city might have looked like in the early 1900s. It has an old-fashioned feel to it that I love. The promenade as it exists today seems new to me; I don't remember it from the first time we were here (around 2000 or so), but some type of walkway existed. I'm sure people walked along the water or gathered at the hotel restaurants for lunch and afternoon coffee. It's a wonderfully civilized way to live. I could get used to it. This website with its lovely photos will give you an idea of what the city looked like back in the 1920s and 1930s as well as in 2008: Saint Raphaël Promenade Saint Raphaël Visite 

Reflections on life in Saint Raphael

Yesterday was a lovely warm day in Saint Raphael. It seemed as though all the residents of the city made their way to the waterfront to eat lunch and to enjoy the warm sun. The waterfront restaurants were packed and patrons were chatting happily with their families and friends. We settled on eating at an Italian restaurant called La Bocca in Frejus, which was packed with people. Fréjus is the adjacent town to Saint Raphael as you continue walking or driving westward. It was nice to see and experience people feeling happy and relaxed. Our stay here in Saint Raphael has been very relaxing. We've done some sightseeing, but not much. Our days consist of eating leisurely breakfasts, hanging out at home for a while, and then walking to the city center to eat lunch or dinner. We walk along the promenade that borders the ocean, passing a large marina with a supermarket and restaurants, near where we live, and then following the walkway past the rocky and sandy beaches, the numerous palm trees, the resort hotels and apartments, and the many restaurants that line the waterfront. We often eat a mid-afternoon dinner, as the restaurants close after 3 pm. Some reopen for the dinner crowd, but not many, since this is still off-season here on the Riviera. We've done some small souvenir shopping and on our way back, we often stop at the Spar supermarket to pick up some groceries. All told, our daily walking mileage is about 3 miles, which is good for us. If I lived here, I would be out walking on the promenade each day, as many of the local residents do. 

People keep to themselves for the most part, but they are friendly when you speak with them. The waiters and waitresses are likewise friendly and service-minded. We've spoken with a few of them and they seem to enjoy their jobs. It's good to see. Many elderly couples own dogs that they walk with along the waterfront; the dogs are having a great time being outdoors and meeting other dogs along the walkway. Yesterday when we walked up to the Basilique Notre-Dame-de-la-Victoire , an elderly man stopped me on the sidewalk to tell me that I was very beautiful, and he repeated that to my husband who nodded in agreement. That made my day, I must say; it's not often I hear that anymore. We got to talking with him, and it turned out that he had been a taxi driver in Paris for over twenty years before he retired to Saint Raphael. He was originally from Portugal and spoke Portuguese, French and some English. We managed to communicate. It was so nice to meet him, and it reminded me of the nice elderly man I met on a Paris subway many years ago, who also chatted with me as best he could in English. When he was getting off the subway, he said how nice it had been to meet me, and then he said goodbye and that he would meet me in heaven. His words have stuck with me all these years later. 

I think about all of the nice, friendly and interesting people I have met on my travels in my lifetime thus far. With some few exceptions, my meetings with strangers have been positive, and I am always reminded of how traveling broadens us--our perspective, our look on life, our views of other cultures and people. I am a richer person spiritually and psychologically because of the traveling that I have done. The traveling that I have had the privilege to do. I am grateful every day for this privilege. 

Winter in Saint Raphael

Saint Raphael is a lovely small city on the French Riviera (also known as the Cote d' Azur or the Blue Coast) with a population of about 37,000 people. It has a rich history and dates back to Roman times when it was a resort destination for the Romans. We were here for the first time about twenty years ago after we had attended a scientific conference in Montpellier), and I remembered the impression it made on me. At that time, we decided to drive a bit along the Riviera and settled on renting a hotel room for a couple of days in Saint Raphael; the hotel was on the water quite close to a marina. As luck or fate would have it, the apartment that we've rented now for two weeks is right across the street from that hotel. I didn't plan it that way, but I'm pleased with how it worked out. What I remember from my first visit here was that the city had an old-fashioned feel to it that I liked; it wasn't glitzy or clubby like St. Tropez. 

Saint Raphael is an idyllic place for so many reasons. It’s the way the city makes me feel as I stroll along its harbor promenades or in the parks by the ocean. When the sun is out, the city’s beauty truly shines (that's often true anywhere in the world). The waterfront buildings and the palm trees scattered everywhere are simply charming. Among the many cities along the Riviera—like St. Tropez, Cannes, and Nice—I prefer Saint Raphael because it’s not overly touristy. It still welcomes visitors, but without the flashy, exclusive vibe of St. Tropez or Cannes, which seem geared toward the wealthy. Saint Raphael feels less commercialized—perhaps that’s the best way to put it.

That idyllic atmosphere creates a peaceful feeling that is often lacking in daily life. Of course some of what I feel is weather-dependent. Every city I've ever visited or lived in in looks lovelier when the sun shines. We arrived here this past Sunday and have enjoyed two sunny blue-sky days and one rainy day. Today is another sunny day and I'm hoping the rest of our stay will have more sunny days, even though rain is predicted for next week. The temperatures don't get much higher at present than about 50 degrees, but that beats hometown Oslo by a mile, where the temperatures are in the teens, much like Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley where I grew up. So even though it is winter here in southern France, it's a comfortable winter. We can walk outdoors in the sunshine for three or four miles each day, something that is difficult in the cold and often icy city of Oslo during the winter. I wish that Oslo would clear its sidewalks in a more efficient way so that everyone could get out and walk during the wintertime. But they don't. It's a crap shoot as to which sidewalks get cleared and which ones don't. So I'll take 50 degrees and clear sidewalks. I don't need much more than being able to walk outdoors to make me happy. On the rainy day we drove to Cannes along the coastal road but didn't stop there, and then drove on to Nice where we walked a bit. We visited the Cathédrale Saint-Nicolas de Nice, the Russian Orthodox Cathedral, which was quite impressive. Nice is a fairly big city and very confusing to drive in. I prefer Saint Raphael as it is more navigable. One day I'd like to return to Nice to explore it, but then I'll live in the city and use public transportation to get around. 

I like being surrounded by beauty, the ocean, the crashing waves, the sunlight reflecting off the water. I like watching couples and retirees out walking along the waterfront promenade in the sunny weather. Many of them own dogs of all sizes, who revel in being able to run along the beach or just to walk along the promenade with their owners. I like being able to sit on the mosaic-tiled concrete benches along the promenade to soak in the sun, or watching the musical carousel spin. I like the feeling of not having to do much of anything at all. That's vacation. I'm grateful, as always, for the chance to experience these different places after the health issues I had last year. I take nothing for granted anymore, and so I live in the moment and enjoy each moment to the fullest. 

Here are some photos taken during our walks around Saint Raphael: 

taken at dusk 

a canal where the tide flows in and out during the day

the beach and the ocean

the garden park in front of the apartment complex where we're living

the apartment complex where we're living 

one of many palm trees

one of two old-fashioned carousels in the city

the guardian archangel Raphael who protects the city

a city with lovely architecture

more palm trees

the Hotel Excelsior where we ate lunch one day

Photos from our visit to Charleston South Carolina

the lovely promenade along the city's east waterfront

celebrating palm trees--there are many of them in Charleston

a house still decorated for Christmas--note the beautiful architecture

on our walk to the Battery (the southern tip of the city)

the Battery area 

loved this frog sculpture--reminded me of Mr. Toad from The Wind in the Willows

Boone Hall--made famous in the film The Notebook 

the Avenue of Oaks at Boone Hall--note the Spanish moss hanging from the trees

our charming and relaxing back porch or veranda as it's often called 

Houses on Rainbow Row

the ferry that took us out to the island where Fort Sumter is located

the house on Coming Street where we lived (on the second floor)

gorgeous architecture in Charleston 

the entrance to the City Market--a pretty cool place 

another gorgeous house 

one of the houses on Boone Plantation where the slaves lived

at Boone Plantation--learning about the Gullah culture