Thanksgiving reflections

It's easy to become complacent about life, to take for granted what we have and ignore what is happening in the rest of the world. It's easy to block out the misery around us, or to pretend that there is no misery around us. But there is. Even in a rich country like Norway, some people have problems paying their bills or having enough money for food. Some dread the thought of Christmas because they won't be able to buy gifts for their children. The Salvation Army (Frelsesarmeen) and The Church City Mission (Stiftelsen Kirkens Bymisjon) have sent out pamphlets informing that the number of people who stand in food lines has increased dramatically. This is a result of the extremely high electricity prices that affect all sectors of society. Food prices have increased, some restaurants have closed or have limited hours, my former workplace (a huge city hospital at three locations) has lowered the inside temperature at each location to circa 65 degrees. In the middle of winter, that's chilly. Employees walk around with thick outdoor jackets, indoors. I remember the last three years of working at my hospital; it was just plain cold in my office during the winter. Some people brought oil radiators from home; I did the same. If it's like this in a rich country, imagine a poor one. 

We have much to be thankful for, but we must never take for granted what we have. The world situation is quite unstable now, what with the war in the Ukraine, power-mad leaders like Putin and dictators elsewhere. Luckily the USA dodged a bullet and has remained a democracy as revealed by the mid-term elections, but it may not be so lucky the next time a wannabe dictator gets ahold of the megaphone. There is no commandment from God that says that the USA will always remain a democracy. 

We need to be the change we want in our societies. If we want more kindness and more compassion, then behave kindly and compassionately. If we want more empathy, be more empathetic. If we want more reflection and intelligent decisions, be more reflective and educate yourselves on issues of importance. If we want more respect, then respect others. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The Golden Rule. It really is. 

I am reposting this post I wrote in 2011 about empathy. It's entitled: Learning Empathy. 

A New Yorker in Oslo: Learning empathy (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com)

Black Friday and Cyber Monday in Norway

Certain American trends have now become mainstream here in Norway. I don't remember what year it started (probably within the last ten years), but Black Friday suddenly became a happening in late November. In fact, stores have their Black Fridays on the same day as in the USA, the day after Thanksgiving. But there's not just Black Friday, we also have Black Weekend, and Black Week. I'm waiting for Black Month to appear. Cyber Monday has become popular too. The strange thing is, just like in the USA, Black Friday has become the most important (profit-wise) shopping day for most stores here in Norway. It makes sense in a way, because most people use the day/weekend as an excuse to start their Christmas shopping. But it seems strange (in a humorous way), that this country managed to adopt an American trend without adopting the holiday before it--Thanksgiving. Since Norway and the rest of Western Europe have now incorporated Halloween into their cultures, I'm waiting for Thanksgiving to be next. Why not? It is a day of thanks. Even if it is a uniquely American holiday, other countries could celebrate the gratitude aspect of the holiday. But even if it doesn't happen, I will smile at this time of year, each year, when Black Friday advertisements in Norway dominate in newspapers, on TV, and on social media. Norwegians love to shop, just like Americans. We're not so different as it turns out. Here is a sampling of some of the ads that we've gotten during the past week.

The newspaper Aftenposten with its Black Friday insert showing the ad sponsors

Max Sport 

Black Friday sales at one of the huge malls--Sandvika Storsenter

Black Friday sales right over the border in Sweden--food and lots of it

XXL sports store--Black Friday weekend (!)

Skeidar furniture store Black Friday sales 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gratitude

It's a crazy world, and it probably will get crazier before it changes for the better. Sometimes it's hard to stay optimistic and to keep an open mind. But we need to in order for our lives to change and grow. We cannot give up believing in ethics and decency and hope. Hope is what allows the world to change for the better; hope and the visualization of how it could be. Some people have dreams, powerful dreams for positive change, and they make them come true. We need more of those types of people, especially in politics. We need politicians who are not afraid to talk about the need for positive change, for decency, for hope. We need politicians who show gratitude for what they have been given--power to effect change in a world that needs positive change, guidance and hope. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the USA, and most Americans will celebrate this wonderful holiday. No matter who you are or where you come from, it is a day for gathering together, for showing gratitude, for being grateful for what you have been given in this life. So I thank God for all that I have, and all that I have gone through in order to get where I am now. Life is not easy, but I don't suppose it's meant to be. It's meant to have ups and downs, joys and sorrows, and all of the other things that make us human. I am grateful to God for all of them; I am grateful for life, love, family, friends and work because they are God's blessings in my life, as they are in yours. And as far as material things go, I have enough--I don't need more. I'm thankful for that too.

Happy Thanksgiving

This photo is what Thanksgiving means to me this year--a harvest, not only of pumpkins from our garden, but a harvest of rhubarb, corn, beets, string beans, runner beans, snap peas, strawberries, black currants, red currants and raspberries--all from our garden. We have spent a lot of time making preserves and jams (strawberry, strawberry-rhubarb, red currant and plum), and freezing down cut fruit for use in our morning smoothies. I have made rhubarb relish that is used as an accompaniment to meat dishes. And recently I made pickled pumpkin, which can also be used together with meat dishes; we tasted it for the first time last night and it was very good. I have learned to dry seeds for planting next spring. I am planning on buying a greenhouse so that we can grow tomatoes and other fruits and vegetables that will need a bit more warmth and protection from the elements. God blessed us this year with a garden, and on this Thanksgiving, I give thanks for all the blessings that we have enjoyed this year. I have also shared our harvest with friends and family--there were definitely enough pumpkins to go around. I loved planting the seeds, watching them grow, caring for the plants, and harvesting the fruits and vegetables. But the fun part was when people commented on the pumpkins--passing strangers and friends alike. And it made me feel productive to give some of them away to others--an accomplishment. After all, this was my first year as a gardener. Even I was surprised that everything I planted grew. The only vegetables I lost were spinach, broccoli and cauliflower, and that was because the slugs ate them. I learned a lot about what it takes to be a gardener and it only makes me look all the more forward to next year. It was Audrey Hepburn who said that “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” She's right. I do believe in tomorrow and I look forward to it.

Thanksgiving quotes

Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.

--Theodore Roosevelt

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.

--Aesop

All that we behold is full of blessings.

--William Wordsworth

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.

--William Arthur Ward

If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.

--W. Clement Stone

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

--Oprah Winfrey

I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.

--Henry David Thoreau

For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more:

Peace in the hearts of all men living,

Peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.

--Joseph Auslander

God has two dwellings; one in heaven, and the other in a meek and thankful heart.

--Izaak Walton

Forever on Thanksgiving Day

The heart will find the pathway home.

--Wilbur D. Nesbit

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

--Native American Saying

Quotes about Thanksgiving

Best wishes for a very Happy Thanksgiving! There is much to be grateful for--family, good friends, a roof over our heads, a job, and life itself. 

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There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.  -- O. Henry

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ---Marcel Proust

To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do.    ---Victor Hugo

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough. ---Oprah Winfrey

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. --- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.  ---Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.  ---G.K. Chesterton

When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. -- Willie Nelson

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. -- Charles Dickens

I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means. -- Joseph B. Wirthlin

God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings. -- Edwin Percy Whipple

Gratitude

We celebrated Thanksgiving early this year. It’s usually not possible to celebrate it on the same Thursday as in the USA, since Norway does not celebrate the holiday. Even if I wanted to celebrate it on the same day, I’d have to take that Thursday off from work, as would any of the guests who might want to join us for the festivities. So for the past twenty-three years I’ve usually celebrated on the weekend following Thanksgiving in the States. But since we already have plans for the next two weekends, today (Sunday) was our celebration. Just my husband and me this year; all our usual guests had other plans. I asked my husband how he would feel if I stopped celebrating the holiday, and he said he would miss it. It’s true; he would miss it, because it’s become a part of our annual holiday repertoire. He’s appreciative of the gestures I make to share my culture, as I am grateful for the gestures he makes to share his. Since I moved here, I’ve made it a point to keep on celebrating the holidays I celebrated when I lived in the USA---Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day and Easter. Norwegians celebrate Christmas, New Year’s and Easter, so there’s pretty good overlap in terms of food and drink; in recent years Halloween and Valentine’s Day have become a part of their society, albeit on a much smaller commercial scale than in the USA. The Norwegian postal service offers some really nice Valentine’s Day stamps; I’ll have to scan in some of the first day covers for Valentine’s Day that I own and present them in a future post.  

It’s nice to have the holidays to look forward to and to prepare for each year. I might even say it’s become necessary for me to celebrate them. Doing so breaks up the long darkness that is winter here. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to celebrate them. The winters are not much worse weather-wise than they were in New York; it’s the short days and the black darkness that get to you after a while. So the holidays are a way to get me through each dark month of winter. By the time Valentine’s Day is over, the darkness has lifted, and the promise of spring, summer and long sunlit days is in the air. In that sense, I am grateful for all the holidays each year; each holiday has its special charm. Thanksgiving especially is a holiday for reflection on all those things that we have to be grateful for. It is not about shopping or bargains or football, even though it may seem that way sometimes. It is about family and the ties that bind, about being thankful for them and for good friends. I remember when we were in our teens, our friends lived right around the corner, and after dinner, we hung out at each other’s houses or went for walks around the town. We always stopped in to say hello to our friends’ parents at some point. Those friends are still my friends today, my oldest and dearest friends, and I am grateful for their friendship. I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Thanksgiving is also about being thankful for the bounties that America enjoys. In that sense, Norway has much to be grateful for as well; its oil wealth is certainly a bounty. We don’t always realize that we are blessed; often we are too busy kvetching or constantly on the lookout for the next new thing that will better our lives. We actually have all that we need; we just need to appreciate our lives more, and appreciate the life around us.  

Giving thanks

I have celebrated Thanksgiving each year since I moved to Norway, and each year I look forward to celebrating the holiday. I never really get tired of preparing food and inviting people to share it with us, although I must admit that at the end of Thanksgiving Day I’m pretty exhausted. This year was no exception. I normally invite family and/or friends to join us during the weekend after Thanksgiving, as we are at work on Thanksgiving Day. This year was different; I made Thanksgiving dinner today and invited family.

I am always nervous each year that something will go wrong; that feeling that I will suddenly become a completely inept hostess rears its head each year. But except for the first year I was here, things have mostly never gone wrong. That year was the year that the antique electric oven that my husband inherited from his parents didn’t tolerate being opened too often to baste the turkey (the temperature dropped dramatically each time the door was opened). Suffice it to say that it took about nine hours before the turkey was done. Our guests were patient though and they hung around, back in the days when people did hang around until 1 or 2 am (when we were younger and losing a good night’s sleep didn’t destroy the following five days in terms of sleep and lack of energy). We bought a new stove shortly after that. In the twenty-two years I’ve been here, the turkey has turned out dry on two occasions. This year the corn bread didn’t rise as high as it should have and I don’t know why, I couldn’t find cranberries in the supermarkets or in the small neighborhood markets to make sauce (I used tyttebær instead and that’s always a good substitute), and I almost couldn’t find a turkey. It seems as though eating turkey has caught on here at Christmastime, which means that turkeys will be available in mid-December. But as I explained to one supermarket manager—I’m American--I need a turkey now! But I finally did find one that was the right size after visits to a number of different supermarkets. It turned out to be a very good turkey, not dry at all.

Thanksgiving, for all its informality and joviality, is really a formal holiday, in the sense of giving thanks on a national scale. I can remember attending mass when we were children and singing ‘America the Beautiful’. The first stanza is particularly beautiful and memorable:

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

It’s good to be reminded that we ought to be grateful for all that is good in our lives. And maybe sometimes even for what may not be good in our lives at present—unhappiness, unfairness, losses, hurts. Because without the sadness that life deals out at times, we might not be able to appreciate the happiness when it appears. We need the contrast. 

Season of Good Cheer

And now begins the holiday season—the season of good cheer—the stores are already decorating for Christmas, it has already snowed once, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner, ready to usher us into the month of December. I have been celebrating Thanksgiving in Oslo since I moved here in 1989. The first year I was here Trond and I scoured the city looking for a large turkey, and finally found one in a supermarket called Coop OBS. I think I paid around 70 dollars at that time for the turkey; prices have come down considerably since then. Turkey is now much more popular than ever before and can often be served at Christmastime instead of the traditional baked pork ribs and meat cakes. But in 1989 it was a novelty and many of our friends enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner at our house. I would make turkey with bread and onion stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce (it wasn’t easy years ago to find fresh cranberries either), corn bread or muffins, pumpkin pie and mincemeat pie. What I would often do on my annual trips to New York was to stock up on the things I needed for Thanksgiving—canned pumpkin, ground corn flour, dried mincemeat and fresh cranberries that I usually froze until I needed them. It’s now fairly easy to find pumpkins; I bake the shell and scrape out the soft pumpkin in order to make pies and bread. In later years I have begun to make pumpkin soup and it has become a favorite. Sometimes my mother or friends would send me what I needed for Thanksgiving by regular mail and that was always nice. I remember that a former colleague from Sloan-Kettering who was doing a guest sabbatical at my hospital institute in 1991 smuggled a turkey and fresh cranberries in his luggage on a return trip to Oslo after a short visit to the USA. The cranberries got smashed and ended up staining his clothing, but we did enjoy the turkey and it made for a great story afterwards. That was of course pre-9/11; nowadays you would not be caught dead doing anything like this—you would never get your luggage through security. We have celebrated Thanksgiving several times with colleagues (mostly American) and that has been fun too—nice to get together with other Americans and celebrate what really is the most ‘American’ of USA holidays. And many of them knew exactly where to go in Oslo to get this or that item that was needed for the Thanksgiving meal.

My stepdaughter Caroline really likes pumpkin pie and I enjoy making it for her. She has also learned to make it herself. I love it too and am always glad when there is pie left over after Thanksgiving. Finding evaporated milk to mix into the pie filling was not easy years ago but it is easier now. It was always a challenge to find what I needed for Thanksgiving but I have always managed to do so each year. It has also been a challenge at times to actually prepare the meal. I baked a Thanksgiving turkey for the first time in 1989 in an old electric oven that had once belonged to my husband’s parents. That was a huge mistake, because every time I opened the oven door to baste the turkey, the temperature would drop dramatically, and then the oven would take a long time to heat up again. Suffice it to say that our company showed up at around 6pm but the turkey wasn’t ready until around 10pm. I learned from that experience!

I usually prepare food for Thanksgiving and my husband takes care of food for Christmas. We usually have traditional Norwegian food for Christmas and I look forward to it each year—pork ribs, meat cakes, sour white cabbage, sweet red cabbage, potatoes, and of course aquavit (it has to be expensive because that tastes best). He also makes salted sheep ribs (called pinnekjøtt) and serves them together with a turnip/carrot puree and potatoes (this meal is more typical of West Norway); it is excellent.

I look forward to Thanksgiving and then the Christmas season each year. I don’t think I would make it through the long gray dark winters without these holidays to look forward to. They get me through November and December; then there are the months of January and February to suffer through and then we’re on our way to spring. I am often reminded of my parents at the holidays—they also enjoyed preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and it was a special time for us. After my father died, my mother continued to celebrate Christmas at her house and we often went there. She always enjoyed Christmas shopping and it was always fun to shop with her. She always overspent and we were always telling her not to do so. But she never listened and in truth this was fine because we knew this time of year meant a lot to her. We would watch the Christmas shows and films together—‘A Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, It’s a Wonderful Life, Scrooge, A Christmas Carol, Home Alone’—and I still watch them. I’ve added to the list with ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ as well as ‘Dinner for One’ (Same Procedure as Last Year with Miss Sophie and her butler—very funny if you’ve never seen it).  I miss my parents especially at this time of year, but I know they are watching over me and us and sending their love and best wishes for happiness and good cheer. My parents never forgot the less fortunate at Christmas—there were always extra donations for the poor and the purchases of clothing and food for the different charity drives that were set up to help them. This is the way we were raised and it was a good way to be raised—to think of others and to want to help the less fortunate. And at Thanksgiving it is good to be reminded of all the blessings we in fact have. I know that reminder is good for me—to forget my complaints and small woes, because how could they possibly compare with what the poor and the starving have to face every day?