Desperately seeking silence

It is difficult to find a silent place in the modern world. And on those days when one is really seeking silence in order to have some peace, it's even harder. My garden is about the only place that is unspoiled by noise, and the minute I enter it, my stress level goes to zero. Even when I go to mass these days, I can never find a quiet one, like the ones I used to attend with my mother on weekdays when I visited her. They were held in the chapel off the side of the main altar of the church, and they were small, silent, and peaceful. Just a mass without the frills. I find I neither need nor do I like the frills anymore. I just want to go to mass and find some peace of mind. I want the quiet in order to reflect--on life, on suffering, on sickness, on life's meaning. I need to do that; I need to find the time to reflect in order to understand what is going on in my life and in the lives of others. But I am not allowed that. I cannot find one mass at my church that is quiet, straightforward, and without frills. They are often long drawn-out affairs, with pre-mass processions, a lot of incense holder waving, a lot of (off-key) singing of modern songs that hold no meaning for me. I miss the old standard hymns (sung by a real choir), the ones I grew up with (like Praise to the Lord), the ones my mother and I liked and sometimes teared-up over (On Eagle's Wings). I miss ordinary masses, celebrated by a priest who appreciated silence and the absence of continual activity. There are now masses in multiple languages (Norwegian, English, Vietnamese, Tagalog, French, Spanish, Polish) at my church in Oslo; more power to them--I am sure the different cultures appreciate this effort by the church. But I wonder why there cannot be just one mass for those of us who would appreciate some silence in between the traditional celebration of the mass.

Sometimes I feel like I am desperately seeking silence. It's hard to find. When I reflect upon my need for silence, I realize that it is born of a lifetime of talking to work colleagues (having to interact in order to get things done), of sharing an office with others, of holding lectures, of attending meetings, of watching TV, of listening to the radio, of having to interact with the world the minute I wake up (via newspapers and other media forms). There is no escaping the inundation of noise that awaits you each day, ready to pounce on you and to destroy the peace of your day. I simply don't want it anymore.

As I was weeding in the garden today, I realized that my garden has become a place of peace and of silence. I pray as I work, reflecting upon the things I need to reflect upon, working out the solutions I need for specific problems. It has become my church of sorts; the way church used to be--when you could walk in and find peace. I can spend hours in my garden, and feel closer to all things spiritual there than anywhere else, including my church. I find that a bit sad, but true. And there is little to do about it. As I get older, I want peace, quiet, and time for reflection. If I cannot find them at mass, then I will find them in my garden.

Peace is a garden

My idea of peace is a garden. My garden. It's not a secret garden, hidden behind a wall covered in ivy that conceals a hidden door. It is a community garden and we have each been allotted our own parcel of land. But it's what you do with that land that makes it 'your' garden. And if you like, you can make it as private or as open as you like. The community garden itself is contained within high fences with locks on the entrance gates; if we didn't have the fences and locked gates, you can bet there would be nightly visitors that would break in and steal what they could to make some small money (the gypsies have been accused of this). There were several break-ins during the past few months that are attributed to them. But there is no hard evidence of such. It's best not to store valuable items in the garden in order to discourage thieves.

You might think that having to worry about petty theft detracts from the overall experience of having the garden. You'd be wrong. I look forward to visiting my garden each day. It soothes my soul like nothing else. Abstinence is a good word to describe how it feels when I cannot go there on a daily basis--either too much to do at work or some other activity that takes priority. Up to now, it's fine that I haven't been there each day. But now that all the seeds are planted and the sown areas need water, I will be going there each afternoon or evening to water the planted areas. I cannot wait until I start to see growth. I planted tomatoes in large pots in the greenhouse, and small green seedlings are already starting to make their appearance. I feel responsible for them, that nothing happens to them. I also planted artichoke seeds in a container in the greenhouse, and am quite eager to see if they grow well. The greenhouse is nice and warm, but the daytime temperature can be quite high with the doors and windows closed. The temperature can be adjusted by opening the window to let in some cooler air. That will be quite useful and probably a frequent thing come summer.

I was in the garden during a late afternoon this past week. The sun was shining and it was probably close to about 5 pm. Still a lot of sunlight and warmth. I took some photos, and one in particular caught my eye. It's a lovely shot of the greenhouse, the garden, the lovely red tulips in the background, and the lovely yellow daffodils--a soothing combination of colors; in short, one of those lucky photos. Enjoy!

World peace starts with peace of soul

The priest at yesterday's mass delivered a sermon about how the news media rarely present any positive news; the emphasis is mostly on the negative. War, murder, robbery, kidnapping, and other crimes and atrocities dominate the news. If something positive happens, it gets buried in the newspaper where no one will see it, and on the internet or TV it’s the same. And if negativity doesn’t dominate the news, celebrity worship does. The same priest stated quite clearly that world peace starts with peace in one’s soul. And he admitted frankly that it’s very hard to find that peace in your soul, because it’s drowned out by all of the factors competing for our attention 24/7, each one hoping to be the best at distracting us from what really matters in this world.

I will admit that the election this year did a number on my peace of soul. And then I started to reflect upon why that happened. And I realized that social media got me fired up, more specifically, several people on my Facebook friends list posted so many hateful anti-Obama and anti-Hillary posts that I was forced to unfriend them. I realized that in the eight years that I have been on Facebook, I have never posted anything hateful. When Bush was president, when Reagan was president, I did not go around disrespecting them. Many people take it for granted that they can bash President Obama any way they like. They do not respect him or the office he holds. They attack his race, they attack his wife's looks, they attack his birthplace, and so on. I would like to call them pathetic, but they are rather dangerous, because they have helped to erode the trust in the office of the presidency that has led to the unrest we experience now. Well-reasoned political criticism, disagreement and debate are welcome in a democracy, and if you disagree with your opponent, you agree to disagree without attacking your opponent's looks, demeanor or character. That's called civility and having respect for another person. The articles that some of these people have posted are literally sickening, and after having unfriended these people, I actually feel better. I don't feel tainted anymore; I've washed the muck off of me. I will be unfriending a few more people as time goes on, because there are still one or two whom I know will wait until Trump’s inauguration to spew more hate. It appalls me how much hatred there is of Obama. It’s actually quite depressing. I doubt that these people know what peace of soul is, and I doubt too that they understand the connection between it and world peace.

I am finally starting to get back some peace of mind and soul. I realized today that the types of people we surround ourselves with can go a long way toward supporting or destroying our inner peace. Taking the high road with some people incites their hatred, in that their firm wish is to drag you down into the muck where they live. Not happening. And if social media becomes purely a place to fling muck around, I will unfriend it as well, in order to keep my peace of soul. I am much more careful these days about what newspapers and TV news shows I read and watch, respectively. The same stringency has to apply to social media and to certain people on social media. No doubts in my mind whatsoever, and no regrets about unfriending them.