Odds and ends, part two

As I get older, I am more willing to accept that I won't get the answers I seek, particularly where faith is concerned. Faith is a mystery that I will never truly decipher. My faith in God has wavered from time to time up through the years. Ditto for my desire to attend Sunday mass. But I've realized that I won't get firm proof that God exists; he/she is not going to suddenly appear before me (like in the story of doubting Thomas) and convince me that way. So I accept God's existence on faith. Attending mass is similar; I go, no matter how I feel. Ten to fifteen years ago, I often wondered why I should go to mass when so many things seemed to be topsy-turvy in my life and definitely in the world. Not anymore. It's become something I do without thinking about it too much. That works for me. I like being there, being part of something larger than me. Being together with (presumably) like-minded people, in the sense that they are also believers. Even if they aren't, it wouldn't change my wanting to be there. I've realized that I can just offer up who I am on any given day--happy, sad, moody, bored, angry, irritable--and hope that I am acceptable. Being human means being imperfect. That is my reality, even though I try hard each day to be the best version of myself (as Matthew Kelly says). 

I watched the film Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret from 2023 last night. It's a touching, funny and sweet story about a twelve-year old girl on the cusp of adolescence, and how she deals with life at home and in school. The film is based on the book of the same name by Judy Blume; I never read it when it was published back in 1970. Margaret is the daughter of an interfaith marriage--Jewish father and Catholic mother, but neither of her parents are religious and they have chosen to raise Margaret without any religious affiliation. She does however hope to eventually find some sort of religion to belong to. She is assigned a school project that allows her to explore different religious beliefs, which she hopes will give her some idea of what religion to eventually embrace. She does talk to God however, telling him about all the things that are happening in her life and sharing her joys as well as disappointments. Abby Ryder Fortson did a wonderful job as Margaret, as did Rachel McAdams as her mother and Kathy Bates as her grandmother.

I also watched the film Dog from 2022 with Channing Tatum the other night--also very good. He played a former Army Ranger suffering from PTSD who wants to return to military duty but whose superiors deny him that chance due to his condition. However, he agrees to bring his former partner's dog Lulu to his funeral (he has committed suicide) as part of a deal for him to return to active duty. Lulu is anxiety-ridden and aggressive (suffering from a kind of PTSD too) and destined for eventual euthanization, and the trip from Oregon to Arizona is fraught with different problems and troubles along the way. It's a beautiful story about the bond that forms between man and dog, and how they both save each other. 

I've spent the past four days without tv news of any kind to invade my life. Bliss. I don't want to know what's going on in the world because I know it's the same old, same old--wars, aggression, conflicts, shootings, murders, political divisiveness--the list is long. And the news media love reporting it all; sometimes I get the feeling that 'the worse, the better'. I know that's cynical, but hey, the news media are cynical institutions. You get back what you give. 

I haven't been on social media much either. Also bliss. I don't really miss it. As I've written about before, I'd remove myself from most of it if it wasn't for the fact that friends in the US still use it. It's a way of staying in touch with them, although these days we mostly chat via Messenger and WhatsApp. 

Odds and ends and updates

During Lent last year I read the New Testament and was glad I did. I am trying to read the Old Testament this time around, but it's tougher going. It's really about vengeance, an eye for an eye, the victims wanting the victimizers to suffer and wanting God to avenge them. There are prayers to God for exactly that. It's also an interesting history of the area and time that led up to the life of Christ. One thing I can state with certainty--the atmosphere of the Old Testament is just about the polar opposite of that in the New Testament. I prefer the latter. 

The world is not fair, even though deep down we expect it to be. That expectation hits the wall of disappointment time and again during our lifetimes, but we do not give up the hope that one day justice will prevail. However, I don't find myself praying for vengeance on those who have wronged me. Somehow, that in itself feels wrong. But I do find myself rather happy when 'what goes around comes around' for some people. Karma is a bitch sometimes. 

I am trying to curtail my involvement in all things digital. I am taking stock of what gives me the greatest joy, and it is hands down writing this blog. I've been writing it for almost fourteen years now and have not grown tired of it. So I'll continue writing and posting. I remain on Facebook because I live abroad and it is a way of staying in touch with my American friends from childhood, school days, and previous jobs. I post updates now and then, but nowhere near as often as I used to do. I am also on Twitter and am considering closing my account there; I use it to promote my books, but it hasn't been very helpful in that regard. Otherwise, it is a forum that purports to present all sides of an issue, but who can really tell if that is true anymore? Sadly, what is presented there just doesn't 'ring true'. Facebook and Twitter are not places to go to for objective news stories. I knew that from long ago and it's only gotten worse. Additionally, the AI algorithms on Facebook and Twitter learn what they can about you and present you with ads and information about groups and sites that may be of interest (to you specifically). They tailor the ads to your gender, age, and interests. It's boring. 

I recently stumbled upon a handy new website called Early Bird Books. It is described as follows "Early Bird Books is a popular online platform that caters to book lovers and avid readers. With its user-friendly interface and extensive collection of literary works, Early Bird Books has become a go-to destination for those seeking literary inspiration and entertainment". What it does is provide a daily email list of discounted Kindle books available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Google, Apple Books, and Kobo. Since I do purchase a fair amount of Kindle books, I checked out their selections, and I've already used it to purchase three Kindle books. Two of them are by an author called Miss Read who wrote a series of wonderful books about a middle-aged unmarried school headmistress in a small English town during the 1950s. The series follows her life in the small town of Fairacre, a town populated with men and women of all walks of life. I remember my mother reading books by Miss Read when I was a pre-teenager; she loved them and now I know why. I've only read two of her books, but can recommend them highly--Village Diary and Farewell to Fairacre (a nearly perfect book in my estimation). They would not perhaps strike a chord in everyone, but they did in me. I loved 'visiting Fairacre' each evening to meet up with her and her friends, listening to the local gossip, and admiring her patience in dealing with all those villagers who wanted to marry her off to the local bachelor. I wish there were more books written in this style. They are escapist without being isolationist; Miss Read is a part of the world around her, albeit a small part of the world--a little village and a small school. Reading her books has also been a way for me to reconnect with my mother who died in 2001. She would be happy to know that I have enjoyed these books as she did. 

I am now reading and enjoying Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. He published the book in 2000 after he was hit by a car in 1999 and nearly died. My cousin Cathy recommended it. I am learning about his approach to writing at the same time as I am learning about the man. An interesting combination. I've read some of his books (Salem's Lot, Cujo, and Doctor Sleep) and have otherwise seen the tv-series Salem's Lot and the films The Shining and The Shawshank Redemption (probably one of my all-time favorite films) based on his books. 

I need to get back to my own writing. I've been 'on a break' as they say, after having written quite prolifically before Christmas. I need to get into the swing of things again. 

Tackling the daily news

This is often exactly how I feel, but not just about social media. The daily news stories in general, delivered to us on tv, radio and in newspapers, are disheartening, to put it mildly. Thus the dilemma has become (for me and for others I know): how to stay abreast of what is happening in the world without losing heart (and our minds)? Listening to tv or radio news is not part of my morning routine, and I am very selective about the few online newspaper sites I visit. I skim news stories and don't let myself drown in all the bad news. I know that there are a lot of bad things happening in the world, and I care about the people experiencing them, but I would rather stay hopeful and pray for a better world than go down the road of nihilism and despair. It serves no purpose and helps no one.  

Forgiveness in our times

Our society has become more secular over the past few decades; there is less emphasis on the religious and spiritual aspects of life. I know that religion isn't necessary to create or achieve goodness in the world, but it has and does help people in that regard. Belief in God and/or a higher power and following the tenets of religion have defined and still define the lives of many people here on earth. That's a good thing, even though religious differences still underlie serious conflicts and wars.

With the gradual decrease in the importance of religion in society, one might expect that sin, guilt, and forgiveness were things of the past, belonging to the realm of religion. After all, if there is no sin, there is no guilt and no need to ask for forgiveness. But this is not the case. Religion has been replaced with an extreme form of political correctness that is focused on public shaming and on calling out the foibles and mistakes that others make. Where once sin and guilt were private matters between a person and his or her God, or between the sinner and the person sinned against, they are now public matters, especially if you are in the public eye. Think politician, actor, newscaster, celebrity. Nowadays major media organizations and social media behave like lions at a kill when they learn that someone has made a mistake, spoken out of turn, said something stupid, or done something embarrassing. I'm not talking about major crimes (murder, assault, rape etc.), I'm talking about some of the stupid or thoughtless things that people do or say. The things that make others cringe and the perpetrator cringe when he or she thinks about it afterward. Everyone has or will have such a moment at some point--perhaps a public meltdown, an argument with a spouse, yelling at a child. And rest assured, someone is always listening or watching, ready to pounce on what others say or do. Media spies or folk willing to publicly shame others are everywhere. 

Maybe the perpetrators of these transgressions shouldn't have said or done what they did, but done is done. But if what was said or done is caught on microphone or camera, their fifteen minutes of fame (infamy) await. It's not enough to report the news of the transgression once; it's reported over and over ad nauseam. Eventually the perpetrator is publicly shamed to the point where he or she says (is forced to say) 'I'm sorry' and asks for forgiveness. But from whom are they asking forgiveness? The public, the media, the wounded parties, or God? Or all of them? Because nowadays, one can't be sure. 

Why does society have this persistent and exaggerated need to pillory folk? Why are we so quick to judge others and to find the worst in others? It reminds me of the unenlightened times in past centuries, where people who had done wrong were locked into the pillory in the town square for a few hours. The aim was to publicly humiliate them. The pillory was often used to punish perjurers or those who incited to perjury. In that sense, our society is worse because individuals are pilloried via the media for much longer periods of time and for much lesser 'crimes', and the internet records the punishment for posterity. Some people 'survive' the punishment and make the best of it; others disappear from public life for good. 

I think it's odd that as secularism has increased, the ability to forgive others has diminished. The same people who scorn religion think it's perfectly alright to judge and punish the people they deem to have 'sinned'. They think it's perfectly alright to publicly humiliate others until the 'sinners' beg for forgiveness. The sinners are up against a tough crowd. Those doing the judging and humiliating are more like the Pharisees than like Christ. I'd rather take my chances with the latter; at least if you are truly sorry, forgiveness is available to you, and you need not be publicly scorned in order to obtain it. 

If you want to waste your day

 

Telling it like it is

Yes, this is the world we live in now. Either you get cancelled for something you might have said thirty or more years ago when you were young (and stupid), or you are at the mercy of certain members of the social media crowd, whose likes, dislikes, and otherwise hate-filled comments can destroy a business or a person. They don't care. But they should, because they are slowly destroying the world with their half-brained idiocy. So again, I say, thank you to Stephan Pastis for nailing this topic once again in your inimitable way. Your humor-filled criticism of some of what goes on on the internet is worth gold. 

Don't be like Bob. Bob is an idiot. 

Social media and unhappiness

I still use Facebook, but less and less these days. Since I live abroad, it remains a good way to stay in touch with my friends and colleagues in the USA. But after the political circus that was the 2020 election and Facebook's huge (and unforgivable) failure to block fake news, I lost a lot of respect for them and for social media generally. 

There is research that shows that social media makes people feel unhappy, but much of it that unhappiness has to do with your popularity on whatever medium you use most, according to this article: Social media makes people feel unhappy, less popular: Study | Business Standard News (business-standard.com). Perhaps the bigger problems in terms of creating unhappiness are how much time one wastes on social media when one could be using that time more productively, and how unhappy one can become if one sees that friends or colleagues seem to be having a better life than you have. One can be assuaged by the fact that most people using social media are probably in the same boat--happy at times, frustrated at others. No one's life is perfect, no matter how perfect it may seem on social media. So my guess is that the more time you waste on Facebook, the more your brain will believe that others are happier and better off than you are. Just remember that this is not true; in fact, it's nonsense. There is no perfect world. 

I'm generally not hugely affected one way or another by what people post--if it's happy news I'm happy for the poster, if it's sad news, I'm sad for them. I usually remain on an even keel. Recently I found out, via Facebook, that one of my three bosses from my workplace at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center passed away; he was 84. His son posted a nice tribute to him on Facebook; that is one of the good things about Facebook, being able to find out such things and being able to leave a tribute of one's own. It makes paying your respects and sending condolences much easier, as I found out when my brother died in 2015. It was nice to hear from the people we grew up with, fellow Tarrytowners. 

But still, I found this Pearls Before Swine comic strip from yesterday, quite funny, and probably true for a good many people. Stephan Pastis seems to be focusing on the perils of social media these days, and he's come up with quite a lot of humorous strips.  

'If real life was like social media'--Pearls Before Swine for today

I love the comic strip Pearls Before Swine; I've been following it for years. It has the type of irony and zaniness that appeal to my sense of humor. This was today's strip--pretty apt: 

No longer 'in my face'

So I've begun the process of unfriending aggressive Trump supporters on my social media accounts, mostly those on Facebook at this point. I had already begun to do this a few weeks ago when one of my 'friends' began to stalk me via the supportive comments I left on posts by the New York Times or other newspapers on Facebook criticizing Trump's behavior or policies. He would post a pro-Trump comment under my anti-Trump comment. He was the first to go. There were four more today. I'm not waiting to find out who wins the election. I'm eliminating those whose viewpoints are morally opposed to my own. I call it 'pulling a Trump'. He gets rid of people for no good reason; I at least have a good reason. 

It feels good to be rid of some of the cultists. They were 'in your face' when it came to Trump. They would post some pro-Trump meme that was downright nasty or mean one day, and then the next day a post about how there is no peace in the world anymore or how divided the country is. Uh, duh? Do you think your behavior and speech have contributed to that? Or they would post something about 'prayer being the answer'. I love when people do that. These are people who wouldn't know what real spirituality was if it came up and bit them on the ass. A gunman can mow down thirty students at a grammar school, and their frequent response is 'to pray'. That's fine, but God helps those who help themselves. How about instituting strict gun control and taking AR15 rifles away from people? But God forbid you bring that up. Don't tell me you're a Christian when you support guns for all. You're not. 

None of my Democrat friends have been as 'in your face' as the Republican ones. I have to wonder why. Why are the former more respectful of others than the latter? There's some food for thought. My own theory is that the rabid cultists have very low self-esteem and that they feel built up by Trump. In other words, he gives them the self-confidence they lack, and that translates to aggressive and bullying behavior. It's tiring, they're tiring, 45 is tiring. I'm done with them all. You may agree or disagree with this post. It's fine. I'm doing it for myself, not for anyone else. I'm doing it to stand up for what I believe in. 

Civility and respect for others

I cancelled yet another newspaper subscription this morning. My husband and I have discussed cancelling our different newspaper subscriptions for the past two years, mostly because we find that they have gone from being newspapers that used to try to present the news in a neutral fashion, to being purveyors of whatever agenda they wish to push at present. To some of you, this might seem rather short-sighted; after all, you can argue that we need to get our news from someplace. We need to follow what is happening in the world. And to a certain extent, you're right. But also wrong. Because what I didn't see happening was this--we're happier without them. We no longer start the day with misery; we no longer have to discuss all that's wrong with the world at the breakfast table. I no longer ruin the start of my day by letting all the world's ills overwhelm me the minute I get up. They seep in anyway during the day, and if we watch the tv news as we do sporadically, we certainly get our dose of misery. So we don't escape it, we just control how it happens and how much we let in.

Newspapers in all countries need to be careful about over-pushing their agendas, be they conservative or liberal. Most of us grew up in a bipartisan atmosphere (at least the families I grew up with in our neck of the woods), able to see both sides, even if we leaned toward one or the other a bit more. I know there was political unrest, hatred, bitterness and spite back in the 1960s, 70s and 80s when we were growing up; you just need to google Vietnam, racial unrest, Watergate and Nixon. But it is so totally extreme and out of control now. Nowadays, judging by what I see happening in the USA, we are so bitterly divided, with the gap widening a bit more each day, such that I fear for the future of our country. We are still a young country compared to most European countries that have centuries of wars and unrest behind them. It feels like a civil war is already taking place in America, fought in the media trenches and in social media and online generally. If you have the 'wrong' opinion and express it, you can expect to be hung out, brutally criticized, suppressed, fired from your job, or other such outcomes depending on the audience that gets a hold of what you said. You will get your fifteen minutes of fame and then some, but not in the manner you would have chosen for yourself. Good people who might want to say something become afraid to do so, whereas the people who don't care at all what other people think of them, have free reign.

I don't want a civil war, nor do I want a world where we are not able to express our opinions. But there is a way of expressing opinions that needs to change. We need to relearn civility. Civility is defined as 'formal politeness and courtesy in behaviour or speech'. We need to relearn how to respect others. It is possible to have a different opinion from others without expressing hatred for those who do not share your views. It is possible to discuss both sides of a situation without being labelled a pariah for doing so. Isn't this approach what judges and lawyers engage in everyday? They work on court cases that need examination of both sides of the issue. Imagine a world where judges ruled a person guilty before the trial. That would not be a democracy, and would not be a country I'd want to live in. And yet, we are behaving in this way on social media and in the media generally, judging and sentencing people before they and we have had a chance to discuss the issues.

Some younger people I know have now limited or cancelled their social media accounts because of the hatred they see online. It's tempting to follow them. I haven't up to now because social media remains an important connection to my family and friends in the USA. But I have reduced my interaction with social media in order to stay peaceful. You might ask why peace is so important to me; after all, the world has many problems that need to be tackled. That's true. But I know from experience that anger and volatility don't solve problems. They fuel the fire of hatred and revenge. Assertiveness, peaceful protests, standing up for yourself, being able to reach out to the other side in order to discuss the issues--these are what solve problems. Diplomacy, compromise, an empathetic approach--these solve problems. Anger gets spent, and after it burns out, the real work begins. The question at present is who will be willing to work for real change in politics at home and globally. The type of change needed must be fronted by civil and respectful leaders.

World peace starts with peace of soul

The priest at yesterday's mass delivered a sermon about how the news media rarely present any positive news; the emphasis is mostly on the negative. War, murder, robbery, kidnapping, and other crimes and atrocities dominate the news. If something positive happens, it gets buried in the newspaper where no one will see it, and on the internet or TV it’s the same. And if negativity doesn’t dominate the news, celebrity worship does. The same priest stated quite clearly that world peace starts with peace in one’s soul. And he admitted frankly that it’s very hard to find that peace in your soul, because it’s drowned out by all of the factors competing for our attention 24/7, each one hoping to be the best at distracting us from what really matters in this world.

I will admit that the election this year did a number on my peace of soul. And then I started to reflect upon why that happened. And I realized that social media got me fired up, more specifically, several people on my Facebook friends list posted so many hateful anti-Obama and anti-Hillary posts that I was forced to unfriend them. I realized that in the eight years that I have been on Facebook, I have never posted anything hateful. When Bush was president, when Reagan was president, I did not go around disrespecting them. Many people take it for granted that they can bash President Obama any way they like. They do not respect him or the office he holds. They attack his race, they attack his wife's looks, they attack his birthplace, and so on. I would like to call them pathetic, but they are rather dangerous, because they have helped to erode the trust in the office of the presidency that has led to the unrest we experience now. Well-reasoned political criticism, disagreement and debate are welcome in a democracy, and if you disagree with your opponent, you agree to disagree without attacking your opponent's looks, demeanor or character. That's called civility and having respect for another person. The articles that some of these people have posted are literally sickening, and after having unfriended these people, I actually feel better. I don't feel tainted anymore; I've washed the muck off of me. I will be unfriending a few more people as time goes on, because there are still one or two whom I know will wait until Trump’s inauguration to spew more hate. It appalls me how much hatred there is of Obama. It’s actually quite depressing. I doubt that these people know what peace of soul is, and I doubt too that they understand the connection between it and world peace.

I am finally starting to get back some peace of mind and soul. I realized today that the types of people we surround ourselves with can go a long way toward supporting or destroying our inner peace. Taking the high road with some people incites their hatred, in that their firm wish is to drag you down into the muck where they live. Not happening. And if social media becomes purely a place to fling muck around, I will unfriend it as well, in order to keep my peace of soul. I am much more careful these days about what newspapers and TV news shows I read and watch, respectively. The same stringency has to apply to social media and to certain people on social media. No doubts in my mind whatsoever, and no regrets about unfriending them.

Things I do not want

Sometimes there are dry spells when it comes to creativity, energy, and motivation, and I’ve had some dry spells recently, when it seems that writing, photography and all of the other creative things that nourish the soul, are not worth pursuing. A spiritual malaise sets in, and sometimes spills over into the physical realm. The darkness and grayness of winter can sap a person for strength, ditto for soulless workplaces that do nothing to nourish the soul. They rather destroy it slowly.

What I don’t want at this point in my life: I don’t want to work anymore, at least not in the traditional sense. My soul derives nothing from the daily 9 to 5 grind that I used to love so much. It gets zero nourishment from a public sector workplace that is dominated by a bureaucracy that kills all motivation, by numerous leaders who are completely ineffective and who could care less about their employees, and by a level of inefficiency that in and of itself could drive a normal person to drink. Albert Einstein wrote that “Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work”. He wrote that line during the early part of the 20^th century and was completely spot on! The saving grace of any workplace is of course your co-workers, many of whom feel the same way as I do, so there is some amount of shared commiseration while we all plod onward in the muck. But some of them are younger and haven’t experienced soul-sucking environments for years on end, so they are not as weary of the whole thing as I am. I still have several years to go before I can retire, and I honestly wonder at times how I’m going to survive those years without burning out.

I also do not want to work all day in an office the size of a tiny kitchen that I share with another person, with windows that open a crack, with fluorescent lighting that can never in a million years take the place of sunlight, for the prescribed number of hours. I find all sorts of excuses now to be out of my office, to be outdoors, or to leave early. Modern workplace buildings, for all their so-called environmentally-friendly architecture and technology, are completely divorced from nature, from wildness, from the outdoors. There is nothing like fresh air, a gentle breeze, sunshine on your skin, a walk along a river, or just being outdoors, to restore the soul. I want to be outdoors any chance I get. My body makes those decisions for me, and I am learning to just follow what it wants, because it wants healthy things for me.

I don’t want to listen to or to watch endless news stories about all of the horrible things going on in the world for which there are no solutions. All those stories do is create despair. Newspapers and television have become like the Dementors in the Harry Potter books—soul-sucking creatures. They bring up a problem again and again, propose few to no solutions, and suck the energy from those who try by bombarding them nonstop with stupid questions. If you are going to have an opinion about the problem, then for God’s sake have an opinion about the solution to that problem. I know the world is in deep trouble; tell me something else. Tell me about the people working to change things, trying to solve problems, trying to help, and tell me about all that in an intelligent, respectful, and decent way. Stop being belligerent, aggressive, nonstop pandering machines. Stop pandering to the lowest common denominator in listeners--to the basest instincts in people, every chance you get. Don’t encourage bigotry, hatred, and violence by talking about it ad nauseam. Stop making the rest of the world think that America is filled with pro-Trump and pro-Palin idiots. There are over 315 million people in the USA; the news media in Europe would have us think that all Americans support Trump; the American media are doing very little to dispel that notion. All of the Americans I know that are family and close friends, do not support Trump or the other GOP idiots. So there. My appeal to the media here and in the USA—please shut up unless you have something positive to say or some solution for how to get rid of Trump before November.

And while we’re at it—could we please end the reality TV culture and celebrity worship? I don’t want to see another Kardashian (any of them) on my TV screen or in any newspapers for as long as I live. I don’t watch these shows, never have and never will, but it seems as if whatever so-called 'celebrities' do is news-worthy. Here's a quick tip--NOT. Is this what money does to people’s brains? Can heads of the media no longer see what quality is and what crap is?

I no longer read the newspaper at breakfast. I read the comics page (since it is actually more intelligent than much of what passes for news--you need only to read Bloom County to know that) and then put the paper aside until later in the day. I refuse to discuss the grotesque goings-on in the world when I first get up. There are many things to be thankful for--the life we have been given, the chance to live another day, the chance to wake up to sunshine, the chance to love those in our lives (humans and pets), to chance to choose healthy, and the chance to appreciate the world we live in and to take care of it. That's how I want to start my day, and live my day. 

Weighing in on #distractinglysexy

This past week showed me just how well female scientists can defend themselves against the sexism that still exists in the noble profession of academia. It also pointed out to me yet again the power of social media, for better or for worse, in dealing with political incorrectness. For those of you who don’t know what transpired, here’s the story. The 2001 Nobel Prize winner Sir Tim Hunt from Britain, 72 years old, opened a conference in South Korea with what he deemed to be a joke about women in science. He said essentially that girls (he did not use the word women, mind you) fall in love with you and you with them, that they distract you (men) from doing science, that they cry when criticized, and that he was in favor of single-sex labs *. Social media exploded predictably with appropriate and inappropriate responses. Hunt later apologized for his foolish remarks but not for his beliefs. Because he does believe that what he said about women is the truth. Nowadays you have to be very careful about what you say if you are in the public eye, because social media will try you and fry you for your transgressions, superficial opinions and comments. I’m not going to enter a debate about the pros and cons of social media; I leave that to others. I will say that I found the responses of a majority of female scientists to be quite amusing. Rather than going on a strident attack, they responded to the situation in a humorous fashion. I don’t know who started the hashtag #distractinglysexy, but if you go onto Twitter and search for it, you will be rewarded with a number of tweets that will leave you laughing—photos and accompanying comments of women dressed in lab coats, protective gear, goggles, hats, etc., all of whom comment on how ‘distractingly sexy’ they look while carrying out their laboratory work. They took the piss out of Hunt’s comments by doing so. That is the intelligent and cunning response.  

I have worked in laboratories all my working life. Being a scientist has been my career. I’ve done alright through the years, and as many of my readers know from other posts, I’ve had the support of male mentors who have done their level best to ensure that I succeeded, or had the same opportunities as the men around me to succeed. But there were a few men who behaved questionably toward me up through the years. I learned to deflect their sexist comments that came my way—about sitting on their laps, about the view of my rear end when I bent over, about my being ‘unbalanced’ when I shed a few tears in anger and frustration about not getting a raise I more than deserved, and about whether I planned on becoming pregnant. I am well aware that I am no exception to these kinds of comments; I grew up in an era when women were making inroads into the workforce and certain types of men found that threatening, irritating, or pointless. They needed to make women feel inferior; I remember thinking ‘their poor wives, having to put up with them’. Certain types of men still react that way. Unfortunately, I learned along the way that certain types of women also react that way. Not all women help other women in the lab. Again, we can argue for and against this fact. Should women support women unequivocally? I try to provide moral support for the younger women I work with, simply because I know how hard it is to climb the academic ladder. But I do the same with the younger men as well. Because their lot is not easy these days either; there is less money and fewer positions. It’s a dog-eat-dog world in academia, even more so than before.

This episode points out that the world NEEDS to be reminded every now and then of all of the women in science who have done terrific science, who have worked tirelessly to promote good science, who have won Nobel Prizes, some of whom have done so while raising a family. Kudos to them—to Marie Curie, Barbara McClintock, Gertrude Elion, Rosalind Franklin, Ada Lovelace, Rita Levi-Montalcini, Rachel Carson, Dian Fossey, Jane Goodall, Lise Meitner, Elizabeth Blackburn, and Dorothy Hodgkin, to name a few. I could also list the many female scientists I know internationally who plod along, doing their daily work, writing papers, publishing, and mentoring students. All of them are equal-opportunity employers and mentors; I don’t think I’ve ever heard one of them express a preference for female students or employees at the expense of men. They are not sexist. Perhaps the male twits in the scientific community could learn from and be inspired by them, and then maybe we would not have to listen to their twaddle any longer.

Apropos, I was going to call this post 'A Twit, His Twaddle, and Twitter', but opted for the current title. But I like the other one too (I'm happy with the alliteration).

*This is what Tim Hunt was reported to have said:

“Let me tell you about my trouble with girls........Three things happen when they are in the lab: You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticize them they cry.” After offering an apparent apology, he dug the hole he was in even deeper when he said “I did mean the part about having trouble with girls. It's terribly important that you can criticize people’s ideas without criticizing them and if they burst into tears, it means that you tend to hold back from getting at the absolute truth. Science is about nothing but getting at the truth.”

Getting to know Wattpad

I’ve discovered yet another social media community, Wattpad.com, a community of writers and readers, more specifically, of writers who post their works online for Wattpad members to read, comment and vote on. It appears to be quite an active and engaged community, with the support of no less than the internationally-known Canadian author Margaret Atwood. Wattpad describes its community thusly in the About Us section on their website:

Wattpad is the world's largest community for discovering and sharing stories. It's a new form of entertainment connecting readers and writers through storytelling, and best of all, it's entirely free. With thousands of new stories added every day, an incredibly active community of readers, and the ability to read on your computer, phone, or tablet, Wattpad is the only place that offers a truly social, and entirely mobile reading experience.

I’m fascinated by this community, and became a member this past weekend; it’s enticing to think about sharing my writing this way, and I’ve already done so. I posted two short stories as a way to get started: one entitled An Unusual Offer; the other entitled Before My Eyes. They will eventually be part of a collection of short stories that I plan on publishing. If you want to read them, you'll have to join the Wattpad community.

I know that I’ve got to work at reading others’ works, following other authors, and commenting and voting on others’ works—in other words, I’ve got to contribute if I want feedback on my own work. So that’s my new adventure these days; I’m writing and taking the chance of posting my short stories and hoping for good feedback and constructive criticism. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes from time to time.

Forays into the world of social media promotion

I am slowly becoming more social media-savvy. It’s taken a while—I joined Facebook in June 2008, rather late compared to many of my American friends, and it’s hard to believe that I will be coming up on four years of social interactions that have changed my life in a very positive way for the most part. Joining Facebook pushed me over a wall that had been of my own making; it was easier to stand on the side of not knowing, of not reaching out, of not sharing, of being skeptical to all of it. But I’ve realized that as long as I can maintain some semblance of control over what, when and how I post, I can be a part of the digital age and actually be happy. I’ve also joined Twitter, mostly in a professional context—I enjoy tweeting about science and the little tidbits that I come across during my day, since I follow a lot of scientific journals and newspapers that write about science. It is an amazing daily ride through a huge world of other twitterers who seem to love what they’re doing. I don’t post each day; I simply don’t have the time for it. And as you have probably surmised, I have less time these days for blogging as A New Yorker in Oslo because my work life has changed (yet again) and now I am busy with new responsibilities that are actually quite welcome. I plan to keep on blogging, but I may not post as often as I used to. I hope you will keep reading in spite of the change.

In my more recent consultant work, I have discovered the power of Facebook ads to promote business pages, events, products, and whatever else one might dream of. For my own creative projects, I’ve created two Facebook ads, one to promote my book Blindsided—Recognizing and Dealing with Passive Aggressive Leadership in the Workplace; the other to promote my new page Books by Paula M De Angelis (https://www.facebook.com/BooksbyPMDeAngelis; you would have to be a Facebook member to connect to and ‘like’ the page). The ads appear on the sidebar of Facebook sites. You can choose your budget—25 dollars a day for ten days, or 500 dollars lifetime budget for one particular ad campaign. It’s a pretty amazing way to promote what you want to promote. You can choose your target audience. In my case, I target English-speaking countries, and in both cases, my target audience on Facebook was approximately 175,000,000 people over the age of 18. Daunting? Oh my God, yes. I have no idea if these ads will increase sales of my books. But whatever happens, it was worth learning about this promotion possibility. I also use press releases to announce the publication of new books, and they are also quite effective at getting the message out there. The point is that being an indie author means that you do all of the promotion work yourself. If a publishing house had released your book, they would be doing this work for you. I don’t mind doing the legwork myself. Again, I guess because I am a bit of a control freak, I like knowing what is going on and having some control over how fast it all proceeds. I’ll keep you posted on the eventual outcomes—how many people actually look at the ads, and if sales of my books increase.

Brave new work world

It strikes me more and more that the work world has become a ’brave new world’. The future is now, is upon us. A myriad of changes sneaked up on us and suddenly were there. But they weren’t just small changes; they were life-changing and workplace-changing changes. Those of us who have been in the work world for a while are a bit more observant of these changes; or perhaps we feel the effects of this brave new world a bit more intensely than those just starting out. In any case, I’ve had the past two years to muse upon all of the changes, and I must say that they herald a new world of work that we can no longer deny has in reality arrived. 

Open landscapes, shared jobs, home offices, flexible time, team projects, and group thinking are just a few of those changes. But perhaps the biggest change in the past five years alone has been the move toward selling yourself as a worker. It is no longer possible to ignore this fact—that marketing yourself and your capabilities, selling yourself to a potential employer, has become de rigueur for average employees. It is no longer a matter of choice. Even headhunting agencies will tell you that now. It started with posting personal photos on resumes. That was never done when I was starting out in the work world; it is very common now. It moved on to the use of social media to establish your online presence; that has become very important. LinkedIn, Facebook, Google +, Twitter, and a myriad of other online social spaces help present you to a potential employer. The more hits you have on Google, the better. Of course they have to be the right kind of hits; it won’t do for an employer, potential or not, to find your drunken party photos on Facebook. But it strikes me that a potential employer might even overlook this if they see that you have a huge number of friends or followers. Because this is the age of networking. The more networks you have, the better. It shows presumably that you are a social person, friendly, capable of teamwork, of sharing, of listening, of communicating. It may be to your detriment not to have an online social presence these days. I cannot say for sure, but I have a very strong feeling that this is the case. And if it is, is this the right way to be doing things? It’s too soon to say, but for those people who are professionally competent yet introverted or even shy about ‘getting themselves out there’; it must be a nightmare to maneuver through this brave new world. How do you explain to a potential employer that you are fully competent to do the job but a bit shy about promoting yourself? And if your job doesn’t involve sales or marketing, why is it necessary to have to market yourself to an employer? Why isn’t an interview about your skills and competence enough to get you hired? But it’s not anymore. I think that some of this new emphasis on selling yourself is going to backfire. An employer may be impressed by a potential employee who has hundreds or thousands of friends on Facebook; the employer may even think that this means that if this person is hired that he or she will be good at teamwork and group thinking. But not all jobs need this or require it. It won’t do to hire a scientist with hundreds or thousands of friends on Facebook if he or she can’t survive the loneliness of lab life. The life of a scientist is often lonely. If you are hired as a scientist, it is expected that you can tolerate alone time—in your office writing articles or grants, or alone in the lab doing experiments until all hours of the evening. And being social online doesn’t necessarily translate to being a better communicator or better networker in the workplace. I’ve seen that more times than I can count.

I couldn’t even imagine how awful it must be to work in an open landscape, to not have my own office or even to share an office but to be able to close the door on the rest of the workplace at times. I cannot imagine what it must be like to talk on the phone with no hope of privacy whatsoever, whether it be a work-related or personal call. I couldn’t stand the idea that I was to be monitored at all times. I also don’t like the idea of shared jobs; I don’t think it is right to hire a person to do a job and then to hire one or two more people to do the same job, so that all of them are sharing that job at the same time. I can understand sharing a job if one person does it 50% of the time and the other person has the other 50%--I call that splitting a job. The trend that I have seen recently is that one or two people are working simultaneously on the same project or job and are mostly just competing with each other instead of working effectively. I don’t get it in any case. I know a few people who have complained to me about this—that they don’t have their individual projects in the lab but instead are working on the same project as a co-worker, or that they really don’t know what is expected of them, or they don’t know what they’re really doing. That sense of vagueness that hangs over everything—the veil of vagueness, I call it. Who is my boss, what is my job, what is expected of me, am I doing a good job, what is a good job? The same vagueness is involved in group thinking—is this really the way we want to go in the workplace? Forcing people to brainstorm together in the same room for hours at a time won’t necessarily lead to new creative ideas; it may rather lead to boredom and inertia. Home office days work for me, so that is a change I like personally, but I know many people who dread this because of the lack of structure and discipline that the workplace provides for them.

This has been a long post, but one that I have been thinking about for quite a while. I will be writing more about the brave new work world in future posts. I am figuring it out as I go along, but I must say I am ever so glad to be closer to the end of my work life than to the start of it.