I posted a quote last week about forgiving, understanding, but not being a fool. I've been thinking a lot about that lately in relation to people I know in the States who voted for Trump and who were aggressive about it. In your face, as I wrote about in my last post. I cannot forgive their blindness (deliberate or otherwise) and I cannot understand them. To do the latter would be to go against everything in my nature that screams for justice, goodness, ethical behavior, non-bullying behavior, and our Christian upbringing. Perhaps one day I will be able to pray for them, and for myself (for being unforgiving). I cannot now.
None of these people are bullies by nature. Most are fairly nice and meek individuals who do not like conflict. Many have been through personal hells in their lives and survived them. Some call themselves good Christians. Nevertheless, they supported a man who gave them permission via his own behavior to be vile human beings if they so chose. Most did not, which makes it all the more perplexing that they supported Trump. Perhaps that is because they feel disempowered, such that when the bully comes along, they side with him because he makes them feel powerful; he speaks for them. If it's not that, then the reason is beyond my comprehension. The people Trump surrounds himself with (and has surrounded himself with) are vile human beings (think Steve Bannon). There has not been ONE peep out of the Trump supporters I know about what Steve Bannon said about beheading Anthony Fauci and Christopher Wray. Not one peep. Not one comment about how vile that is, how horrible it is that they talk like ISIS supporters. Not one person among them on my social media feed who stood up for decency, values, ethics, morality, Christianity. FoxNews.com did not even have it as a news story (I checked); they ignored it. Why? Did Christ talk this way? He did not. Does Biden talk this way? He does not. And by the way, I do not, did not, and never will support (liberal) Kathy Griffin's photo of Trump's decapitated head; her career tanked after that, as well it should have. Just so it's clear to the Trump cultists that I am NOT partisan. None of this is funny; it is vile and horrifying that we have descended so far into hell. It horrifies me and it has stressed me this past week in ways I cannot describe. This is what the USA has become--that roughly half the voting population supports a man like him.
How would the Trump supporters I am talking about, like it if I suddenly behaved like Trump with all of them? Told them where to go in no uncertain terms. Told them that they're fired from my life. Told them that they're idiots, losers, assholes, dumbasses, rednecks. Would they like it? No. Why? Because I don't behave that way, have never behaved that way, and will never behave that way toward people regardless of how close I am to them. They know me and would not expect me to behave that way. Do I get angry? You bet. Get into arguments with my husband and a few other people? At times, yes. But I do not set out to destroy the other person, no matter how angry I get at them. That is not my goal. Mostly I find that arguments stem from frustration--not being able to say what we need to say or not being given the platform to do so (being bullied/harangued/talked-over into submission). We argue with others because we are not listened to, because there is no dialog, no two-way street in conversation.
One thing is clear to me--I will never look at some people the same way again. I cannot. I cannot unsee what they have posted, written, or stood for. I cannot press the 'reset' button, not right now. At present, some of them are posting memes talking about how there should be peace and no division in the country. About how we should all get along and be good to one another. That we should let bygones be bygones. That doesn't work for me. I'm sorry for being hard-hearted, but that's where I am at present. Mostly what I am is incredibly sad, for myself and for my country, that we let such a vile man rule our world 24/7 for nearly four years. To say it will be a relief to have him gone is understating what I feel.
