I often find myself thinking about how human beings are an odd mixture of so many different interests and influences. I know I fit that description. I can go from listening to hard rock one day, to reading and finding meaning in a poem that touches me with its simplicity the next day. The fact that we can move from one sphere to another freely, is what makes us human. I am glad for the incongruities and illogical behavior I see in myself, because I find it helps me relate to others (who are much the same).
In that vein, moving on from yesterday's post about a rock song that I really like, here is a poem that I found this morning in a New York Times obituary for the poet W.S. Merwin (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/15/obituaries/w-s-merwin-dead-poet-laureate.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&fbclid=IwAR0hJX5PK6Zmj_gY_mBuKHfBPLAS3yhWUXMtyKvd2F9l9fhG1HZnYJVmFfI). I haven't read much of his poetry, but that can be remedied. This poem is entitled Black Cherries, and it is a beautiful poem.
BLACK CHERRIES
Late in May as the light lengthens
toward summer the young goldfinches
flutter down through the day for the first time
to find themselves among fallen petals
cradling their day’s colors in the day’s shadows
of the garden beside the old house
after a cold spring with no rain
not a sound comes from the empty village
as I stand eating the black cherries
from the loaded branches above me
saying to myself Remember this
by W.S. Merwin
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Friday, March 15, 2019
Good song alert--Joker and the Thief, by Wolfmother
I've been doing a lot of repetitive work for one of my research projects, which involves counting cells on a computer screen. One mouse click is one cell counted--that kind of thing. It can get tiresome very quickly. So I've been listening to music with real energy and drive while I do this kind of counting, and it makes the work a whole lot more tolerable. Here is one of the songs I've been listening to: Joker and the Thief, by Wolfmother--it's become a real favorite of mine.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
More of Bramhall's political cartoons
Once again, Bramhall's political cartoons are spot on...... He has taken Oliphant's place, and those were big shoes to fill. I think he fills them quite well.
Here are his recent ones: https://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/nydn-bramhall-cartoons-for-january-2019-20190108-photogallery.html
Here are his recent ones: https://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/nydn-bramhall-cartoons-for-january-2019-20190108-photogallery.html
Thursday, March 7, 2019
An article about shame worth reading
Worth reading: a recent article in The New York Post by Maureen Callahan ...........
There is no shame left in America anymore https://nypost.com/2019/03/07/there-is-no-shame-left-in-america-anymore/
Saturday, March 2, 2019
Love this song--Juice, by Lizzo
Loved it from the first time I heard it--pure funk.......Lizzo's having fun. Definitely makes you want to get up and dance. Works for me!!....Enjoy.
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Howards End--the TV series
I watched this four-part series from 2018 last night, and can highly recommend it. It is based on the book Howards End by EM Forster. Matthew Macfadyen, Hayley Atwell, Philippa Coulthard and the rest of the cast are just wonderful. Rather than my writing a review about it, I'll include the Imdb link to the show: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2577192/?ref_=ttexrv_exrv_tt Enjoy watching some excellent television.........
Friday, February 22, 2019
And a few more articles.......
Survivors of Sexual Abuse Want Church Reform. Here’s Why It Might Not Happen. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/20/world/europe/vatican-catholic-sex-abuse.html?action=click&module=RelatedLinks&pgtype=Article
With Victims Converging Outside Vatican’s Walls, Francis Opens Meeting on Clerical Sexual Abuse https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/world/europe/pope-francis-church-abuse.html?action=click&module=RelatedCoverage&pgtype=Article®ion=Footer
Gay Priests, Secret Rules and the Abuse of Nuns: Some of the Vatican Controversies as Bishops Meet https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/world/europe/catholic-church-sex-abuse.html?action=click&module=MoreInSection&pgtype=Article®ion=Footer&contentCollection=Europe
Credibility of Catholic church at stake in sexual abuse summit https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/18/credibility-of-catholic-church-at-stake-sexual-abuse-summit
With Victims Converging Outside Vatican’s Walls, Francis Opens Meeting on Clerical Sexual Abuse https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/world/europe/pope-francis-church-abuse.html?action=click&module=RelatedCoverage&pgtype=Article®ion=Footer
Gay Priests, Secret Rules and the Abuse of Nuns: Some of the Vatican Controversies as Bishops Meet https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/world/europe/catholic-church-sex-abuse.html?action=click&module=MoreInSection&pgtype=Article®ion=Footer&contentCollection=Europe
Credibility of Catholic church at stake in sexual abuse summit https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/18/credibility-of-catholic-church-at-stake-sexual-abuse-summit
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
More articles about the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church
These are some of the recent articles that are worth reading, concerning the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church. If the dinosaurs in the church do not deal with this crisis, they (and the church) will sink, slowly but surely, into the mud of extinction, and deservedly so. And if the church does sink, it has only itself to blame. It could have taken the initiative many years ago to rid itself of the criminals within its walls; it knew about them and it protected them nonetheless, for decades. It has lost a lot of credibility. I for one no longer look to the church for moral leadership in the world. It has failed miserably at moral leadership within its own ranks. How can you preach one thing to the world, and then practice within your walls the opposite of what you preach? Whenever you protect criminals at the expense of the victims, you are no better than the slime that grows under the rocks, in the dark, away from the light of day. Whenever you protect pedophiles that are good at fundraising for the church, you tell the world what really matters to you. And it is not abused children. And while I know some priests want to blame the sexual abuse scandal on gay men, they cannot. Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same thing. And pedophilia is not caused by celibacy either.
How will Pope Francis deal with abuse in the Catholic Church? https://www.bbc.com/news/world-47201647
The root cause of the Catholic crisis: It's the culture that views priests and bishops as a privileged class. https://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/ny-oped-the-root-cause-of-the-catholic-crisis-20190219-story.html
The Catholic Church Is Breaking People’s Hearts. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/19/opinion/catholic-church-gay-discrimination.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage
The Vatican’s Gay Overlords. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/15/opinion/vatican-gay-priests.html?module=inline
Blaming homosexuality for abuse of minors is distraction, victims say. https://www.archbalt.org/blaming-homosexuality-for-abuse-of-minors-is-distraction-victims-say/
They say they were sexually abused by priests, then silenced. Now these women are speaking out. https://edition.cnn.com/2019/02/20/europe/catholic-france-order-women-abuse-intl/index.html
How will Pope Francis deal with abuse in the Catholic Church? https://www.bbc.com/news/world-47201647
The root cause of the Catholic crisis: It's the culture that views priests and bishops as a privileged class. https://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/ny-oped-the-root-cause-of-the-catholic-crisis-20190219-story.html
The Catholic Church Is Breaking People’s Hearts. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/19/opinion/catholic-church-gay-discrimination.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage
The Vatican’s Gay Overlords. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/15/opinion/vatican-gay-priests.html?module=inline
Blaming homosexuality for abuse of minors is distraction, victims say. https://www.archbalt.org/blaming-homosexuality-for-abuse-of-minors-is-distraction-victims-say/
They say they were sexually abused by priests, then silenced. Now these women are speaking out. https://edition.cnn.com/2019/02/20/europe/catholic-france-order-women-abuse-intl/index.html
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Failure to respond to emails in the workplace--a growing problem
I read this article in today's New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/15/opinion/sunday/email-etiquette.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage
and it got me to thinking about my own experiences with sending and receiving emails in the workplace. I find myself getting increasingly irritated by the number of people who do not respond to the emails I send them. And I am not a person who sends unnecessary emails. But I am a person who tries to respect the five levels of hierarchical leadership in my workplace, and the multiple managers that I must relate to and communicate with about one issue. I formally report to two leaders, but if I need to send an email to the leaders under them in the hierarchy (four people, all middle-level managers), then I must also cc: the two top leaders. If I send an email to the leaders under the four middle-level managers, then I must cc: the four middle-level managers and the two top leaders, and so on, ad nauseam. Of course this means that the two top leaders get an immense amount of emails that they may not always need to get or respond to. And if there was trust in the workplace, if leaders trusted the managers under them, then they wouldn't need to be copied onto all emails at all times. But the standard m.o. is 'cover your ass'. Employees know this, and also that they will be called onto the carpet if they do anything that their managers are not informed about. And they do get called onto the carpet for daring to do something that a leader or manager has not approved. And so on.
Leaders and managers have no business complaining about the volume of email they receive, especially if they are responsible for and support a system as outlined in the first paragraph. Their jobs require them to respond to emails from their employees, most of whom end up completely stymied and unable to do their jobs properly if they don't get the necessary responses from their managers and leaders.
Failure to respond to emails is rude. Plain rude. I don't mean by this that you as a leader/manager need to respond immediately to an email. But when two weeks go by without a response, that is unacceptable for employees working on a project who require a response from above in order for them to progress with the project. They are stymied, the project is stymied, and the people who depend upon their progress down the line are stymied. This leads to inefficiency and inertia in the workplace.
I also think that failure to respond to emails can be a deliberate tactic to stymie employees who are creative and who have good solutions to problems. It is a way of telling them that their ideas don't matter. I see that very often in my workplace; my co-workers complain about this often. They end up feeling disrespected and unappreciated.
So, as a manager or leader, don't complain that your workplace is inefficient and that your employees are not motivated, when you have not responded properly to their emails that are required by you in order to get approval or permission to do their jobs. No one wants to hear how busy you are, because we are all busy. Stop complaining, stop wasting your time going to endless and useless meetings, and make it a priority to answer your employees' emails. Chances are that if you treat your employees with respect, they will respond in kind. Answer those emails. And maybe, just maybe, efficiency in the workplace will make a comeback.
and it got me to thinking about my own experiences with sending and receiving emails in the workplace. I find myself getting increasingly irritated by the number of people who do not respond to the emails I send them. And I am not a person who sends unnecessary emails. But I am a person who tries to respect the five levels of hierarchical leadership in my workplace, and the multiple managers that I must relate to and communicate with about one issue. I formally report to two leaders, but if I need to send an email to the leaders under them in the hierarchy (four people, all middle-level managers), then I must also cc: the two top leaders. If I send an email to the leaders under the four middle-level managers, then I must cc: the four middle-level managers and the two top leaders, and so on, ad nauseam. Of course this means that the two top leaders get an immense amount of emails that they may not always need to get or respond to. And if there was trust in the workplace, if leaders trusted the managers under them, then they wouldn't need to be copied onto all emails at all times. But the standard m.o. is 'cover your ass'. Employees know this, and also that they will be called onto the carpet if they do anything that their managers are not informed about. And they do get called onto the carpet for daring to do something that a leader or manager has not approved. And so on.
Leaders and managers have no business complaining about the volume of email they receive, especially if they are responsible for and support a system as outlined in the first paragraph. Their jobs require them to respond to emails from their employees, most of whom end up completely stymied and unable to do their jobs properly if they don't get the necessary responses from their managers and leaders.
Failure to respond to emails is rude. Plain rude. I don't mean by this that you as a leader/manager need to respond immediately to an email. But when two weeks go by without a response, that is unacceptable for employees working on a project who require a response from above in order for them to progress with the project. They are stymied, the project is stymied, and the people who depend upon their progress down the line are stymied. This leads to inefficiency and inertia in the workplace.
I also think that failure to respond to emails can be a deliberate tactic to stymie employees who are creative and who have good solutions to problems. It is a way of telling them that their ideas don't matter. I see that very often in my workplace; my co-workers complain about this often. They end up feeling disrespected and unappreciated.
So, as a manager or leader, don't complain that your workplace is inefficient and that your employees are not motivated, when you have not responded properly to their emails that are required by you in order to get approval or permission to do their jobs. No one wants to hear how busy you are, because we are all busy. Stop complaining, stop wasting your time going to endless and useless meetings, and make it a priority to answer your employees' emails. Chances are that if you treat your employees with respect, they will respond in kind. Answer those emails. And maybe, just maybe, efficiency in the workplace will make a comeback.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
My sci-fi heart and the death of Oppy
Who knew, who ever knows, how one will react to different news stories? The demise of the Mars Rover Opportunity after 15 years spent on the Red Planet touched me in a way I didn't realize was possible. Perhaps it was its last message to its scientist caretakers here on earth at NASA that got to me: "My battery is low and it's getting dark". My heart went out to 'Oppy'. As I wrote on Facebook--"its demise is strangely poignant". For me and for many others, it is. I realize that I'm talking about a robot, but for some reason, the fact that it could relay that message to the scientists told me that in some strange way, it 'knew' that it was dying, as it knew that it was alive. And that's enough for me. Have I read and seen too many sci-fi books and movies? Perhaps. But NASA understands us and has made it possible for those who want to send a postcard in memory of Oppy, to do so. I sent a postcard that read: "Thank you for 15 years of service, Oppy. Rest in peace on the Red Planet. Maybe one day some of us will join you there".
Here is the link if you want to do the same: https://mars.nasa.gov/participate/postcard/opportunity-rover/#Step-1, and a link to the original article I read this morning: https://abc7ny.com/5137455/?fbclid=IwAR05vvlqMPgZDiUNPi5WbMAQ7YRC4TU2xVvOV37Z5kEoWWTrTz_dhypHIDU
There are many of us who will miss Oppy. Thank you NASA, for all the great work you did keeping Oppy up and running, and for the important and necessary work you do, everyday. Your work inspires those of us who are curious, adventurous, interested in space exploration, and interested in science.
Here is the link if you want to do the same: https://mars.nasa.gov/participate/postcard/opportunity-rover/#Step-1, and a link to the original article I read this morning: https://abc7ny.com/5137455/?fbclid=IwAR05vvlqMPgZDiUNPi5WbMAQ7YRC4TU2xVvOV37Z5kEoWWTrTz_dhypHIDU
There are many of us who will miss Oppy. Thank you NASA, for all the great work you did keeping Oppy up and running, and for the important and necessary work you do, everyday. Your work inspires those of us who are curious, adventurous, interested in space exploration, and interested in science.
Cemetery Road--my new poetry collection
I recently published my fifth collection of poetry, entitled Cemetery Road. It was written following my brother's death in 2015. As the book description reads:
How do we deal with the death of a loved one? These poems were written following the untimely death of the author's brother, and touch on our ever-present awareness of mortality as well as on our feelings of loss and grief in connection with death. They also touch on the losses that all of us experience as we age, be they letting go of our past or of our identities in society, and the grief attached to both.
It is available on Amazon.com: http://tinyurl.com/y4ww8xh4
How do we deal with the death of a loved one? These poems were written following the untimely death of the author's brother, and touch on our ever-present awareness of mortality as well as on our feelings of loss and grief in connection with death. They also touch on the losses that all of us experience as we age, be they letting go of our past or of our identities in society, and the grief attached to both.
It is available on Amazon.com: http://tinyurl.com/y4ww8xh4
Monday, February 11, 2019
Funny whether you're pro-Brexit or anti-Brexit
A pathologist colleague and friend sent this to me today. Whether you're pro-Brexit or anti-Brexit, you'll have to admit that this is pretty funny! Here is the link to the original posting (posted Feb 9, 2019 by Martin Armstrong): https://www.armstrongeconomics.com/international-news/britain/medical-professions-view-of-brexit/
----------------------------------------------------------
The Medical Profession were asked: should Brexit take place?
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Brexiters had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that May’s proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought it was all a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Parliament.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------
The Medical Profession were asked: should Brexit take place?
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Brexiters had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that May’s proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought it was all a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Parliament.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, February 9, 2019
Elena Ferrante's brilliant Neapolitan quadrilogy
I just finished reading Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan
quadrilogy, and I recommend it highly: My
Brilliant Friend, The Story of a New Name, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, and The Story of the Lost Child. It would
be hard for me to summarize her books adequately in this post, but the
impressions they made on me will stay with me forever. Italian men, at least at
the time when the author was young (1940s and 1950s), do not come off well at
all, at least in the non-educated part of Italian society, specifically, Naples
at that time. They beat their wives and children regularly; the women accepted
it and the children became afraid of their fathers. Men raped their
wives/forced them to have sex. Poverty was rampant, as was corruption. Many of
the married men had lovers with whom they started new families while still
married to the first wives. Homosexual men were beaten to death. Violence was a
huge part of the society at that time.
Elena Ferrante is a pseudonym for the author of these
powerful books. Given their subject matter, given the author’s desire for
privacy, I think it is fitting that she wrote that way. Why do we need to know
who she really was? The important thing is the books, the message, the freedom
with which she wrote, not holding back about anything, really. She writes from
a gut place; sometimes I got the feeling that the books just poured out of her.
They are fiercely honest books, filled with events that are embarrassing,
cringe-worthy, frightening, and horrific (the abuse that Lila endures, for
example, at the hands of her first husband Stefano, and earlier, at the hands
of her father). Elena and Lila are lifelong friends; their friendship is an odd
one, not easily explained and not easy to read about. It is raw, honest, at
times abusive (at least Lila’s behavior toward Elena), but there is a
love there that is hard to define. They seem to need each other; Lila needs
for Elena to become a successful writer (she does); Elena needs for Lila to
break free of Naples and to reach her potential as the smart woman she is (it
is unclear if she really manages that by the end of the series). But Lila is
the person who Elena looks up to. Lila is by turns brash, aggressive, rude, mean,
non-compliant, ambitious, passive, passive-aggressive, kind,
loving, and then not—all over again. She is mercurial and beautiful—the type of
woman that all men want, at least in Elena’s eyes. She is also fiercely intelligent, which Elena talks about often--but her ambition for higher education is thwarted by her family and her circumstances. Elena is also beautiful, but
much less sure of herself, and certainly not mercurial and mean like Lila.
All of us have known a Lila in our lives. They are the women
who walk into a room, and it becomes quiet—all eyes on her. She is the woman
that many other women fear, because she does not seem to need men in her life,
even though there is always a man there. And the men fall for that type of
woman because they think she will make no demands of them like most ordinary
women, never realizing for a second that this is exactly the trap that Lila
sets for men. She is the femme fatale who lures them in, and then uses them for
all they are worth. Given her background of abuse at the hands of the men in
her early life, it is perhaps no surprise that she behaves that way and that
this is the type of woman she has become. Elena grows up differently; her
father doesn’t directly abuse her, but he shows little interest in her. Her
mother is emotionally abusive to her, and their relationship is strained for
years. Elena is smart, and as luck would have it, her intelligence as a child
is recognized by a teacher who essentially orders her parents to let her pursue
higher education. Since there is no money for that in her family, the teacher
helps her out with books and other materials, as does Lila when she first
marries Stefano, who is wealthy. Elena always wonders why the teacher never did
the same for Lila, whose parents also had no money. The difference was also that
Elena’s parents, while resenting the teacher’s intrusion into their lives,
obeyed her orders, whereas Lila’s parents would never have done so. So Lila was
not as lucky as Elena when it came to being able to pursue an education. Lila
tried for years to keep up with Elena, and Elena helps her by sharing her books
with her, but Lila realizes that it is impossible to keep up, and because she
cannot enjoy what Elena is enjoying, she rejects it utterly and begins to snipe
at Elena’s progress and success. And so it goes for many years. Most of the
Lila types in this life do not end up with happy and successful lives; rather
they crash and burn in middle age when their beauty starts to fade, and they
often end up friendless.
Elena and Lila’s friendship is a strange mixture of caring,
not caring, jealousy, envy, ambition, thwarted ambition, fear, abuse,
melancholy, bitterness, sometimes happiness, but most often confusion. Elena is
never sure where she has Lila, and by the time she stops caring about exactly
that and begins to live life on her own terms, she is in her late twenties. By
that time, she has watched the married Lila seduce Nino, her first love, run
off with him to live with him, and then watch as Nino leaves her behind and disappears.
Lila’s life descends into a chaotic mess, but as time goes on, she achieves
some sort of success; she lives in Naples with Enzo, the man who rescues her
from Stefano, and with her son Gennaro (who is Stefano’s son). They learn about
the computer world together, and start their own computer company. For a while,
they earn good money. But as always, life steps in, tragedy hits, and the
misery starts all over again.
Elena leaves Naples and marries Pietro, and they have two
daughters together. She tries to keep writing after the success of her first
novel that was published shortly before her marriage, but she struggles with
her ambition and trying to find time for it all—writing and taking care of a
husband and family. She struggles with confidence and lack of it, with
confusion, with trying to understand the society and politics around her, and
with trying to understand her relationship with Lila. She feels guilty, I think, for her success, certain that it is actually Lila's doing. She never seems to be able to accept that she is just as intelligent, if not more so, than Lila. Her intelligence includes being able to adapt to situations, to accept what she cannot change. Lila never learns that, and becomes brittle as she ages. Elena is by turns
reflective and realistic. She understands that even though Pietro is an
academic like she is, he does not support her academic endeavors, or
perhaps more correctly stated—he does not think that her academic career is as
important as his own. And then Nino reappears in her life, and her life
descends into chaos. Suffice it to say that Nino is a destructive force in the
lives of those he inserts himself into. Smart women, foolish choices. Lila and
Elena are two women who fit that bill.
Elena Ferrante grew up in the 1940s and 1950s; we grew up in
the 1960s and 1970s. By that time, roles had changed for men and women, or at
least the expectations of what men and women would have as roles when they
married. Feminism changed a lot of things, for better and for worse. Strangely
enough, it never occurred to me when I was young that anyone would want to
punish me or any other woman because we were intelligent, or try to stifle it,
or try to dominate us and force us to pretend that we were not smart or that we
would not use our intelligence. I understood later that there existed
people—men and women—who wanted to do just that, out of envy and spite. Sometimes
men were downright abusive to women who were intelligent and ambitious--the women who
wanted a marriage based on equality and mutual respect. When I have spoken to priests
and other adults about how women were often treated badly by husbands, some of
them would say that women should ‘do their duty’ and submit to their husbands. I once challenged a priest by asking him
why women should ‘obey’ a man, as in “Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the
Lord. The husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the
church people”, when so many men forgot the other saying—“Husbands, love your
wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it….” I got
no answer, and that’s because there are very few men who love their wives as
Christ loved the church. He knew that just as well as I did, but he couldn’t
admit it.
Ferrante’s novels made me reflect on so many things, and
those reflections have made me sad, as I knew they would, because they reopened
personal wounds and touched on events that happened many years ago. But my life
is so much richer for having read her books. When I look at our society now,
there is perhaps less violence (there are laws against wife-beating and child
abuse), but there is rampant use of pornography that has become increasingly
violent against women. I don’t know what to make of society anymore, and I
often ask if we really do want peace. I am looking for respect between the sexes,
and I don’t see much of it. Even in the Catholic Church, there are huge
problems when it comes to attitudes toward women. I think that the church needs
a huge overhaul and that it needs to re-evaluate where it wants to go, because
at present, it is no longer the moral force in the world that it used to be,
and that people want it to be. I also think that it needs to clearly examine
its attitudes toward women; it does defend them, yes, but it has a problem,
like most of society, with highly-intelligent women. I have seen some very good
marriages in my lifetime, but I would not define most as happy. Marriage works
well if there is love there (including sexual love), but since no one can
really define love properly, there is an element of luck in all of it. People
can and do change over time, and become better people, and that will lead to
happier marriages, but when I look at the pain caused by one party toward the
other, when I look at all the unhappiness I have seen in marriages, I am surprised
that the divorce rate isn’t higher than it is, at least in Westernized
countries. Having said that, I think that marriages where both parties work (inside
the home or outside of it) and respect each other’s abilities, where both have
similar education and value systems, also when it comes to raising children,
have a better chance of success than very traditional ones where the wife has
been forced by a man, a society, a patriarchy, or a religion, to choose that traditional
life, which often leads to frustration and unhappiness. Unfortunately, Catholic
men are also quite unenlightened about many things concerning women, their
wives/sisters/ mothers/daughters, and what women want, regardless of whether we
are talking about Naples, Italy, southern Europe, Britain, or the United
States. Ferrante’s novels work because she throws light on attitudes and
behavior that most people would prefer stay in the shadows, in the dark. She
throws open the doors and the windows and says, these are women’s lives and
they are not easy lives. Pay attention.
Thursday, February 7, 2019
It never ends--now the Pope says that nuns were sexually abused by priests and bishops
How deep does the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church go? Very deep, as it turns out. It seems that every time I turn around, there is a new allegation of abuse. Now the Pope has acknowledged that nuns have been sexually abused by priests and bishops: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/05/world/europe/pope-nuns-sexual-abuse.html . I didn't see the statistics presented anywhere, but I'm sure they will be available shortly. It wouldn't even matter to me at this point what the actual numbers are. What appalls me is how the Church initially responded to the victims--by ignoring them, by supporting the abusers, or by sweeping all of it under the rug to be dealt with at a later time, or never dealt with. The latter was the modus operandi until the past few years when the outing of criminal priests became a reality and forced the Church's hand. One wonders if they ever would have dealt with the sexual abuse scandals had they not been forced to.
I am disgusted by the entire business and appalled by the hypocrisy. Here we grew up with all these strict ridiculous rules regarding sex--no premarital sexual activity short of intercourse, no intercourse, and no birth control. All were grievous sins. That's what we were told. Even married couples were made to feel that practicing birth control put their souls at risk. The truth is that most lay Catholics behave much better than many of the priests who have been preaching to them all these years. We grew up with the fire and brimstone sermons. We feared going to confession, feared being reamed out, but if you ask me, our sins pale in comparison to the sins of the sexual abusers, the pedophiles, and the rapists (all criminals) that were and are found in the Catholic clergy. I saw a comment in the New York Times to the above article that said, and I quote "The Pope does not seem to understand that the Church is burning to the ground. The credibility of the Pope's statements and the Church's actions are questionable." I agree with the commenter; it scares me that we may be living in a time where all the things that we took for granted were good and true, are in reality, quite the opposite, and are now being exposed for the shams they actually are. The question is--what remains when the dust and ash settle--when the fire is over. That's what scares me. I no longer believe that the Church is the road to heaven. I know that it is possible to honor Christ without having to believe that. Do I still go to Church? Yes, I do--because I like the celebration of the mass and that one hour a week to reflect on something other than the rampant materialism that characterizes the world. But the part of me that doubts, the part that is confused, the part that is furious--all those parts are growing stronger by the day. I don't know if I will be able to contain them. I am no longer patient inside. I would prefer a quiet mass without sermons. Sometimes I sit in the pew and listen to yet another uninspired irrelevant sermon and I feel like standing up and yelling--talk about the sexual abuse scandal in the Church, tell us what you are doing about it, condemn it and the perpetrators, talk about the misuse of power, the abuse of children and women. Talk about the inequity between men and women, talk about the patriarchies that have ruined the lives of women and children, talk about the refusal of the Church to take women seriously and to allow them to become priests, talk about spousal abuse (physical, emotional, psychological), talk about the brutality of the messages that many of us grew up with. But I don't think I will hear any of those sermons in my lifetime. So much of our childhood was about fear of authority, about instilling compliance in us, about having absolute power over us. I no longer have that fear, I am no longer compliant, and no one has absolute power over me. Those days are long gone. I rely rather on the fact that if God made us all in his/her image and likeness, that we were given a powerful brain by that same God, a god-like brain, that God intended for us to use wisely, humbly and gratefully. I for one, have chosen to use it in those ways.
I am disgusted by the entire business and appalled by the hypocrisy. Here we grew up with all these strict ridiculous rules regarding sex--no premarital sexual activity short of intercourse, no intercourse, and no birth control. All were grievous sins. That's what we were told. Even married couples were made to feel that practicing birth control put their souls at risk. The truth is that most lay Catholics behave much better than many of the priests who have been preaching to them all these years. We grew up with the fire and brimstone sermons. We feared going to confession, feared being reamed out, but if you ask me, our sins pale in comparison to the sins of the sexual abusers, the pedophiles, and the rapists (all criminals) that were and are found in the Catholic clergy. I saw a comment in the New York Times to the above article that said, and I quote "The Pope does not seem to understand that the Church is burning to the ground. The credibility of the Pope's statements and the Church's actions are questionable." I agree with the commenter; it scares me that we may be living in a time where all the things that we took for granted were good and true, are in reality, quite the opposite, and are now being exposed for the shams they actually are. The question is--what remains when the dust and ash settle--when the fire is over. That's what scares me. I no longer believe that the Church is the road to heaven. I know that it is possible to honor Christ without having to believe that. Do I still go to Church? Yes, I do--because I like the celebration of the mass and that one hour a week to reflect on something other than the rampant materialism that characterizes the world. But the part of me that doubts, the part that is confused, the part that is furious--all those parts are growing stronger by the day. I don't know if I will be able to contain them. I am no longer patient inside. I would prefer a quiet mass without sermons. Sometimes I sit in the pew and listen to yet another uninspired irrelevant sermon and I feel like standing up and yelling--talk about the sexual abuse scandal in the Church, tell us what you are doing about it, condemn it and the perpetrators, talk about the misuse of power, the abuse of children and women. Talk about the inequity between men and women, talk about the patriarchies that have ruined the lives of women and children, talk about the refusal of the Church to take women seriously and to allow them to become priests, talk about spousal abuse (physical, emotional, psychological), talk about the brutality of the messages that many of us grew up with. But I don't think I will hear any of those sermons in my lifetime. So much of our childhood was about fear of authority, about instilling compliance in us, about having absolute power over us. I no longer have that fear, I am no longer compliant, and no one has absolute power over me. Those days are long gone. I rely rather on the fact that if God made us all in his/her image and likeness, that we were given a powerful brain by that same God, a god-like brain, that God intended for us to use wisely, humbly and gratefully. I for one, have chosen to use it in those ways.
Friday, February 1, 2019
Women should be deacons in the Catholic Church
I am posting an article from Fordham Magazine in its entirety, because it is worth reading. I don't need to comment on it much--I agree with its message and aim. Women need to play a larger role in the Catholic church, and there's no time like the present to try to effect such a change--allowing women to become deacons. The time for change is here.
https://news.fordham.edu/faith-and-service/commission-calls-for-catholic-church-to-let-women-become-deacons-again/?utm_source=Fordham+Master+List&utm_campaign=dddd5f7b54-FORDHAM_MAG_2019_1_31&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_808eb3c98f-dddd5f7b54-172681701
The time has come for women to reclaim their roles as deacons in the Catholic Church.
https://news.fordham.edu/faith-and-service/commission-calls-for-catholic-church-to-let-women-become-deacons-again/?utm_source=Fordham+Master+List&utm_campaign=dddd5f7b54-FORDHAM_MAG_2019_1_31&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_808eb3c98f-dddd5f7b54-172681701
Panel Calls for Catholic Church to Let Women Become Deacons Again
0The time has come for women to reclaim their roles as deacons in the Catholic Church.
That was the assertion of a panel of scholars who came together on Tuesday, Jan. 15 at Fordham’s Lincoln Center campus.
The issue of whether women can become deacons is one that the Vatican had studied twice since the early 1990s. In 2016, Pope Francis announced a third commission, made up of six women and six men, to study its feasibility.
A New Look at an Old Idea
Phyllis Zagano, Ph.D., and Bernard Pottier, S.J., two members of that commission, spoke Tuesday at a Fordham panel event, The Future of Women Deacons: Views from the Papal Commission and the American Pews.
Zagano, a senior research associate-in-residence at Hofstra University and author of Women Deacons? Essays with Easy Answers (Michael Glazier, 2016), said evidence of the existence of women deacons, who share many responsibilities with priests, in the churches’ earliest days is indisputable.
Documents available in Vatican libraries from the fourth and fifth centuries make clear the existence of a position that was separate and distinct from the priesthood, and was therefore open to all, she said, and specifically referenced women.
“The earliest ordination for deacons is in the apostolic constitution, which directs the bishop to lay hands on [a woman being ordained]in the presence of the presbyterate, the male deacons, and the woman deacons, and to pray a prayer that parallels the ordination of the deacon, including the Epiclesis, which is the calling down of the Holy Spirit,” she said.
“God is asked to bless her in regard to her ministry. The ordaining bishop places a stole around her neck. As I’ve said to many people, ‘If she wasn’t a deacon, they would call her something else.’” she said, but the responsibilities would have been the same.
An Upheaval Leads to Shifting Attitudes
In the middle of the 18th century, she said, scholars began rejecting the idea of a female deacon, and quibbled over whether these women had been “ordained” or “blessed.” Zagano said the words were used interchangeably at the time.
“For me, if a bishop was laying hands on a woman, invoking the Holy Spirit, putting a stole on her, giving the chalice, and calling her a deacon, I don’t know what else to say,” she said.
So why did women deacons disappear? Father Pottier, a faculty member at the Institute D’Etudes Théologiques in Brussels, said the Great Schism of 1054, when what is now the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox churches split, was key to the change.
“The Western church began to think by its own, without the mystical spirituality of the East, that rationality and legalistic thought was more important,” he said.
The upside of this was the rise of immensely influential philosophers such as St. Thomas Aquinas, he said.
“On the other side, we lost a little bit of what the sacrament is. What is the spirituality and the grace of the sacrament? The West wanted to do everything clear, and everything simple. So the sacrament of ordination became very simple. You have cursus honorum, a sort of scale you have to pass by all the steps, and not miss one. A deacon became only a step to priesthood,” he said, and therefore, something reserved for men. But he cautioned that this needn’t be the end of the story.
“Our faith has roots in the Bible, in the New Testament, in the person of Jesus Christ, and in what the church has done. We do not have to be afraid of history. In history, we do not have a source of rigidity and immobility,” he said, but rather an example that change is possible.
A View From the Pews
Panelist Donna Ciangio, O.P., said conversations she’s had with lay members of the Archdiocese of Newark, where she is chancellor, have convinced her that parishes need women deacon now.
“I asked a few parishioners about the possibility of women deacons, and the first answer I got was, “Aren’t you and Sister Sandy deacons already?” she said.
Where the issue really rears its head is when she works with couples who want to have their child baptized in the church.
“We ask them, is there anything that keeps you from embracing the church wholly? One woman said to me, ‘My children ask me, ‘Why can’t women be priests or deacons?’ I have no answer that satisfies them,’” she said.
Sister Ciangio also recently oversaw the creation of a study guide to help Catholics better understand this issue, titled Women Deacons: Past, Present, Future, (Paulist Press, 2012), which Zagano co-wrote. She invited 12 parishioners from the diocese to come together to read it.
“As we discussed each chapter, they became more and more interested, but they became more and more agitated,” she said, noting that none were aware of the existence of women deacons in the past.
“The group became convinced that it’s no longer acceptable not to have women deacons in parishes or significant leadership positions in the church.”
What Next?
What if Pope Francis decides this is not the right time to let women become deacons again?
The panel has presented its report to the pontiff and is waiting for a response. Zagano said that given the church’s dire need for those who can minister to the faithful, even a delayed answer will be a negative answer.
“I think it’s up to the church to make noise. The pope has said in other cases, make noise. Well, make noise,” she said.
“I have a sense that he will know the time to say something. We have from May 6 to 10 a triennial meeting of the international union of superiors general, the women who originally asked him to examine this issue. If I were the pope, I wouldn’t want to walk into a meeting with 900 nuns without an answer.”
The panel event was sponsored by Fordham’s Center on Religion and Culture. David Gibson, the center’s director, said the topic is a timely one given the upheaval the church has faced recently.
“Elevating and broadening the role of the women in the church, as Pope Francis has said we must do, is especially critical today if we’re to answer the call of the spirit in this time of epochal change and challenge for the Catholic church,” said Gibson.
“It is a call that our nation and our world must respond to.”
The panel was moderated by Thomas Rosica, C.S.B., president of Salt & Light Media, and was streamed live on Salt & Light.
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