Living life with a sense of humor

I read a good article in the New York Times this morning, where Pope Francis talks about the importance of having a sense of humor to get through life: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/17/opinion/pope-francis-humor.html?unlocked_article_code=1.iE4.W_bC.eFqE4vYNgQR-&smid=url-share

In another article that talked about his sense of humor, he mentioned the Prayer for Good Humor that has been attributed to St. Thomas More. He said that he prays it every day. I'm including it here. One thing I do know, and that is that a good laugh is the cure for a lot of aches, pains, and grumbles. When we pray for grace, perhaps we should pray for the gift of being able to laugh at ourselves and others via jokes and amusing anecdotes. I do not defend mocking others or making cruel fun of others as humor, just so that is clear; that is bullying behavior. The Pope talks about irony, which is my preferred form for humor. Irony, whether self-irony or irony directed at others, implies seeing the contradictions in different situations and being able to point them out in a humorous, sometimes sarcastic way. An ironical situation is one that is wryly amusing. We should be able to laugh at ourselves first, to see the comedy in what we do. That encourages others to do the same. 

Prayer for Good Humor

by St. Thomas More

Grant me, O Lord, good digestion, and also something to digest.

Grant me a healthy body, and the necessary good humor to maintain it.

Grant me a simple soul that knows to treasure all that is good

and that doesn’t frighten easily at the sight of evil,

but rather finds the means to put things back in their place.

Give me a soul that knows not boredom, grumblings, sighs and laments,

nor excess of stress, because of that obstructing thing called “I.”

Grant me, O Lord, a sense of good humor.

Allow me the grace to be able to take a joke to discover in life a bit of joy,

and to be able to share it with others.

This morning's beautiful 'mother of pearl' clouds (perlemorskyer)

I awoke early this morning, and I'm glad I did, because otherwise I would have missed these incredibly rare clouds of many colors! These clouds are called 'perlemorskyer' in Norwegian, and that translates to 'mother of pearl' clouds in English. The scientific name for them is polar stratospheric clouds; they are a very rare sight to see. That is because they occur in the stratosphere layer of the atmosphere (very high up, between 49,000 and 82,000 feet up according to Wikipedia). You can read more about their formation here: Nacreous clouds | International Cloud Atlas

I managed to get some good photos before the light from the sunrise dissipated the colors. Enjoy!

December fun in Oslo

A week ago this past Sunday, I was out walking during the early afternoon, and came across these two very different activities. Both looked like fun! The weather so far this December has been wonderfully mild and sunny, so it was possible to do both these things because there was no ice or snow. I took these videos--enjoy!

Life is a one-way street

Our lives are often referred to as the 'roads' or 'paths' we're on. Moving through life does feel like being on a road, albeit with detours that can track us off or lead us back eventually to the main road. The main road should include a sign that reads 'destination unknown'. Because although we're moving straight ahead, it's not always clear what our destination is. Some would say heaven or the afterlife, some would say a void if they don't believe in an afterlife, and others don't give it much thought at all. All of us keep plodding forward, although the word plodding implies heaviness and grimness. Life can weigh us down at times with its problems, so it's not always easy to have a light step. 

Whether we walk lightly or doggedly, one thing is certain. There is no reverse, no going back. We can't walk backward, can't reclaim past years, can't go back to living in the past, as much as we might like to sometimes when life gets difficult. Sometimes, the desire is strong to return to a time when life seemed less burdened, less weighed-down with societal and personal issues. But the reality is that they were there too in the past; we just tackled them differently because we were younger and the whole of life was still ahead of us. We were naïve in a good way; we didn't have the life experience that we do now. Perhaps we reacted more impulsively to certain situations on which we would use more careful consideration now. It's hard to know for sure. 

Although we can't walk backward into the past, we can walk more lightly when we forgive ourselves and others on the road with us. Forgiveness of others lightens our burdens; it unencumbers us. It clears the path ahead for new experiences, new adventures, kinder lives, and gentler spirits. We don't walk alone on our one-way street of life; we walk together with those we love and care about. 

Keeping the birds happy in winter

I recently purchased a bird feeding station from Amazon UK that arrived this past week. I love it already, since it was easy to assemble and came with different accessories, among them a suet ball cage, two pans (one for seeds and one for water), and a vertical hanging feeder. I am using both pans for seeds and/or bread cubes since there are freezing temperatures now and the water would just freeze in the pan. I had no problem assembling and installing it in my garden; it's placed under the krossved tree. The small birds have already discovered it and are making good use of it. I'm surprised I haven't thought of doing this before; we already feed the pigeons and magpies that show up outside our kitchen window in the morning--year-round. Sometimes the little birds show up as well, but they can't compete with the larger birds. Now they have their own feeding station that will hopefully keep them happy (and alive) during the cold winter months. Here is a photo of the bird feeder; I've already posted a link to it on Amazon UK for those who might want to buy the same feeder. 

 

A nice poem by Oliver Herford

I came across this poem today and thought I'd post it since my next post will be about birds and the bird feeder I bought for my garden. Enjoy.....

I Heard a Bird Sing

I heard a bird sing

In the dark of December.

A magical thing

And sweet to remember.

"We are nearer to Spring 

Than we were in September,” 

I heard a bird sing 

In the dark of December. 

From Welcome Christmas! A Garland of Poems (Viking Press, 1955) by Oliver Herford

A good poem by Martha Medeiros

This poem by Martha Medeiros--You Start Dying Slowly--resonated with me........

You start dying slowly

if you do not travel,

if you do not read,

If you do not listen to the sounds of life,

If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly

When you kill your self-esteem;

When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly

If you become a slave of your habits,

Walking everyday on the same paths, 

If you do not change your routine,

If you do not wear different colours

Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly

If you avoid to feel passion

And their turbulent emotions;

Those which make your eyes glisten

And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly

If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,

If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,

If you do not go after a dream,

If you do not allow yourself,

At least once in your lifetime,

To run away from sensible advice.

Inclusive workplaces?

One of the trends/ideas that surfaced in my former workplace around fifteen or so years ago was the idea of having the workplace be inclusive. I googled the term 'inclusive workplace' recently, and this is what popped up as the first link: Inclusive Workplace - Canadian Association for Supported Employment

An inclusive workplace is more about culture than anything else. It is about creating a workplace where everyone is treated with respect and valued for their contributions. In an inclusive workplace, colleagues and customers are treated with dignity, respect and equality, and these values are reflected in the company’s mission and vision. Policies and procedures are implemented and managed so that employees’ rights are preserved.

It sounds nice, reads well, and leaves a good taste in your mouth. My question is what happens when workplaces are not inclusive even when they purport to be so? When it's all talk and no action? When there are no consequences for treating employees disrespectfully? What then? What happens when a disrespectful culture is what defines a workplace? What happens to employees' self-esteem and sense of self when they are not valued for their contributions?

I bring this up because today I met with a former colleague whom I haven't seen in a while. She still works at my former workplace but wants to retire soon. It's been three years since I left my workplace behind, and I don't miss it. More specifically, I don't miss the workplace culture. I don't miss the lack of real interest in employees, the lack of interest in their contributions, the many indifferent leaders, or the unending talk about change and how employees should just acquiesce to leaders' wishes. I don't miss the tasks that were assigned to me that ended up stranded halfway because they were tasks that required the collaborative efforts of several individuals. In other words, they were not tasks that one person alone, without personnel or a budget, could perform. It was sad, really, because I poured my heart and soul into several of them, but without support from above and below, they ended in limbo. Luckily, I could focus on my cancer research projects, and they were successful because they were well-designed and supported. I wouldn't have had it any other way, since being a research scientist was my chosen profession. I did not study science for many years and pursue a doctoral degree to become an administrator, but that's what my department would have preferred I ended up as. But had they really wanted that, they would have supported me with personnel and a budget. As it was, I had to supply my own budget for a specific department activity by writing a grant proposal for it. That was my initiative and I got grant support, not for myself, but for my department. All well and good, but this is not how things should have been run. Money should have been appropriated by my department for the task at hand. My department never had much money to spare. It was chronically overstaffed with mediocre leaders and understaffed with competent employees who knew what they were doing and who were willing to work with me on solving some of the departmental issues. In the end, we concluded that the department talked a good fight but couldn't 'put their money where their mouth was', as we say in the States. Sad, because some of the tasks could actually have been successfully accomplished and finished. 

My point with this post is that my former workplace was not really interested in inclusiveness. You were left on your own, left alone, to work it all out. Emphasis on alone. I spent most days alone in my office. I don't envy others as a rule, but when I hear people describe their workplaces in glowing terms, I envy them. I wish I had had another type of experience during the past decade; I wish that I hadn't felt abandoned, ignored, bypassed or irrelevant. I have gained a perspective and understanding now that I no longer work there. How much of it had to do with age and how much of it had to do with a dysfunctional workplace, I'll never know. I do know that the turnover rate among lower-level employees was high. I do know that there was a lot of dissatisfaction among many employees. Many of them said and still say (when I meet them socially) pretty much what I've written here; they did and do not feel appreciated by their leaders, and many of them worked very hard, so laziness was not an excuse for the disrespect. It's odd how a dysfunctional culture can gain traction and then end up permeating every aspect of one's work life. It's odd when you gain perspective after no longer working there--that the workplace wasn't an inclusive one. Had it not been for one leader (a friend of mine) who worked there briefly and tried her best to change the culture (and failed) during the last four or five years of my work life, those years would have been among the loneliest ever. I have a friend here, in her early sixties, who is still working and feels that she still has a lot to give. She doesn't want to retire. But she is treated poorly by her workplace (not my former workplace); she is bypassed, ignored, and frozen out of major decisions. She calls it harassment. I think it is. But nothing will change and she will end up leaving that workplace because as one person, she cannot fight a team of indifferent leaders who don't care about her or whether or not she is happy at work. It's pervasive, the non-inclusive workplace. But it's more common than one might think. 

Happy gardeners and birdwatchers

Apropos my previous bird post(s), I saw this on one of the Facebook groups I follow--Happy Gardens, and got a real laugh from it. I've been following their posts for a while, but I didn't know that the same people who have the Facebook group also own Happy Gardens, a family-run company based in Northbrook, Illinois. I checked out their website (Happy Gardens - Yard Decorations, Garden Decor, Rain Chains, Ornaments) and I'll definitely be ordering some things from them in the future. 

Winter darkness

The darkness of winter is beginning to descend upon us now. Saturday December 21, which is the winter solstice, will be the shortest day of the year. We are already beginning to experience shorter days, with today's sunrise at 8:39 am and sunset at 3:28 pm. I remember when I first moved to Oslo in the late autumn of 1989. It was difficult to get used to the shorter days, even though the days get shorter in New York too. But not as short as in Oslo. For example, in Manhattan, today's sunrise was at 6:54 am and the sunset will be at 4:30 pm. In other words, sunrise is almost two hours earlier in NYC and sunset about one hour later in NYC compared to Oslo. Of course that makes a difference to your body. 

I remember that I was tired a lot during the first winter I lived here. The darkness didn't bother me in any other way. I didn't suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder), which is a kind of winter depression. But I missed the longer days, or at least my body did. And now, having lived here for over thirty years, I finally understand why Norwegians are almost sun-worshippers once the summer comes. I've become one as well. The summers are the complete opposite of winters--long days with a lot of light. That too took some getting used to. If we were out on the town partying until 1 or 2 am in the 1990s, we'd come home and try to sleep, and it was hard because at mid-summer, the sun was already starting to shine. For example, on June 20 of this year, which was the summer solstice and the longest day of the year, sunrise in Oslo was at 3:53 am and sunset at 10:43 pm. And even when the sun goes down at almost 11 pm, the light in the sky doesn't really fade away until around midnight. That's the nice part of summer, because if the weather is nice and warm, you can sit in the garden until at least 11 pm if you want to. 

I hope we have fewer gray days this winter than last winter. Last winter was one of the worst in memory, and I'm not the only one who feels that way. Many Norwegians I know feel the same. It was a cold, icy, snowy and gray winter that began in mid-October. This year we've been lucky; we've had a mild autumn, with temperatures around 50 degrees F throughout most of October and well into November. It's only really the last week or so that temperatures have dipped below freezing. Today we were back up to around 50 degrees F. 

Whatever this winter brings, I'm prepared. I bought several down-like vests, a new long outer down-like coat with a hood, new studded boots so that I can walk on the ice (I can flip the studs in and out as needed), and thermal gloves. But I'm still hoping for a mild winter with very little snow. I can't do much about the darkness though. 

Caring for the birds in winter

The natural world keeps our hearts and minds calm and sane. In this poem, it is a crow that changes the mood of the observer, who is having a bad day. The simple act of shaking snow down onto the observer saves the rest of his otherwise bad day from being a total loss. Nature has a way of doing that. Of course the crow has no way of knowing that nor did it shake down the snow deliberately. Birds are interesting creatures that open a window onto the natural world. I love watching them in the garden during the summer months, as I've written about before. So many different birds--sparrows, magpies, crows, small robins, blue tits, bullfinches--the list is long. Sometimes seagulls show up, but not often. 

This winter, I'm going to go to the garden every other day to feed the birds. I haven't done that before, although I do feed the birds that land on the balcony outside our kitchen window. Those birds are mostly pigeons, although we do get a few magpies and sparrows too. They all love sunflower seeds. I bought a nice and presumably sturdy standing bird feeder station on Amazon (where else do you get such a wide selection?) and am waiting for it to be delivered. I'll find a good place for it in the garden once I get it. Here is a link to the feeder if anyone else is interested in buying something similar: Urban Deco Bird Feeding Station With Feeders - Bird Feeders Hanging Station Heavy Duty Bird Feeder Pole With Bird Feeders For Small Birds - Bird Feeder Stand With Bird Bath Tray And Bird Feeder Tray : Amazon.co.uk: Garden

Caring for the birds in winter is important for so many reasons. They are little creatures who grace our lives with their beauty and their antics. They make us laugh, but they also make us ponder nature's ways. A world without birds, without their squawking and chirping and singing, would be a dead world. They make us forget ourselves, forget our trials and tribulations, for a few moments. It is worth taking care of them just for that alone. 

Will Smith - Men In Black (Video Version)

Fun movie and fun video! One of the best ever movie songs.......

Like I've written about so many times before, there are always connections between things, whether it's songs, books, films, or a combination of them. 

Patrice Rushen - Forget Me Nots (Official Video)

Another trip down memory lane, and another favorite! Will Smith made the song his own in the film Men in Black.....

Another poem--Dreams Like Smoke-- from my collection Parables and Voices

Dreams like Smoke 

The many misconceptions 

That love would somehow 

Answer many unanswered questions, 

Fill the void-- 

Free them from unwanted deception. 

But deception in man is eternal 

And unyielding, they fool themselves first, 

Not each other. 

For they brought to love themselves, 

And the expectations of a lifetime. 

But dreams drift silently onward-- 

Dissipating upward like the rings of cigarette smoke 

In one of the many rooms they inhabit. 

They don’t stop dreaming, they just navigate 

The aimless drifting with another kind of care, 

Or lack thereof.

copyright Paula Mary De Angelis 

All rights reserved 

My poem--Train from Michigan

This is a poem from my first published collection of poems entitled Parables and Voices. You'll find it on Amazon if you'd like to read more of my poetry (Parables and Voices: A Collection of Poems 1973-2009: De Angelis, Paula Mary: 9781452838762: Amazon.com: Books). 

Train from Michigan

I dreamed then of my father, I was 

On the train; outside a yellow moon 

Full-light circle against the blue-black sky. 

His face came into memory 

As I drifted in the sleep of transit, 

That is uneasy and unsettled. 

We crossed, from Michigan into Ohio, 

The train's whistle blowing lonely 

As though miles ahead of us-- 

Yet ever with us through the night. 

I thought the thoughts of transit-- 

My father, dead these three years, 

Perhaps traveled this same train 

Bound from Michigan to New York. 

He knew people in the north of Michigan, 

Farmers and ultimately life-long friends. 

I see his face, with me always. 

My head rests lightly against the train window-- 

When I awake it is because my head has banged  

And fallen against the window, jarring me. 

I visit friends, they live in Michigan now 

Having moved there from New York; hence my trip's purpose. 

I meet new people on the way to visit old friends, 

And think about old friendships as I make my way home. 

New people I am always letting in; they find me or 

We find each other--one in particular spoke of kindred spirits 

On our way out to Michigan; his words surprised me. 

Do they, these spirits, find each other? 

Are we all in search of one? 

About trains, I know they draw me so, 

Luring me with the call to adventure, 

Like a call to arms. 

I boarded one, bound for Michigan, 

And then one back, to New York. 

Time spread out over hours of track-- 

Moving me, my life, along, 

From one point to another. 

Spreading me out, thin, fluid, 

Over time which is suddenly the merger 

Of past, present, future. 

Like liquid spreading I see my life 

Moving over these tracks, out and beyond, 

Expanding to assimilate Michigan 

As I have before incorporated other states 

And other countries, American and European. 

A fear that I can never belong to someone-- 

How could one keep me from flooding 

Past the walls and out into the open spaces? 

It is an abstract love of world I feel, 

A pull to know what is unknown, but knowable. 

To care for it, about it, accept it for itself,  

The planet, the globe, its rivers and its land, 

The farms and their greenness in the summer-- 

The land you pass through while travelling on a train. 

Small towns and the people in them, suburbs and large cities, 

Unknown, but knowable. 

I look out, I know this river-- 

I grew up along it, knowing it stretched 

For miles, out of my reach--I see it now 

In places I never knew before 

And feel the vastness of its beauty. 

Back in New York, I grew up here, 

But I have grown beyond it.

copyright Paula Mary De Angelis

All rights reserved