Disengaging

Good advice for daily life......

The need for kindness

I am losing faith in humanity's ability to be kind. I don't see much kindness anywhere, anymore. That may be the fault of the news media; it may be my fault for not searching out the good positive human interest stories. Part of me feels like giving up on the world and isolating myself from most of what is intrusive, unkind, aggressive and unnecessary. It may be counterproductive of me to seek 'away' from the world. In truth, perhaps my energy would be better spent trying to add more kindness to the world, because kindness is necessary in order for us to survive as a people. Without it, we will ensure our destruction. But even trying to add more kindness feels like a futile effort at times. I try to remain kind, but I can't shake the feeling of futileness that hangs over me like a heavy fog. 

I don't know that social media necessarily exacerbates the situation as I see it, but it doesn't help matters. Most of those I know on social media are decent people trying to live decent lives. And yet, some of them fall into the trap of commenting on one thing or another, and suddenly they are dragged into the trolling that goes on, that lives a life of its own long after the actual post they commented on has seen the light of day. Nowadays your opinion, if you have a reasoned one, gets lost in the severity of the response to it. You are told you should have an opinion, but if you do and it isn't the same opinion as the ruling majority in society (that have set themselves up as judge and jury), you are excommunicated. I have begun to say that the Catholic Church at least offers forgiveness for one's transgressions; that's more than the secular media and its supporters offer. You are 'labeled' and the label sticks. No forgiveness for you. This type of response merely forces those who are 'labeled' into a corner where they become even more stubborn and irascible. When I look at it objectively, it's easy to understand that when there is no kindness or attempt at understanding anywhere you turn, you choose your own survival (mental and physical) and the rest be damned. 

Not an uplifting post for a Monday morning, I know. But it is inspired by recent happenings around me. I have discovered that garden enthusiasts are not necessarily nice people; they can be unkind when it serves their purposes. Sometimes their behavior reminds me of what I saw in my former workplace, where some of the leaders harassed those they perceived as weaker than them. An unkind workplace; but now I see that the world outside its walls is also unkind. This particular situation does not affect me personally, but I don't like to see how the other party is being treated. Yet another example is from my former workplace, where a former colleague, who had a 'round' birthday together with another colleague, was not feted in the same way as her colleague; she was deliberately ignored in favor of the other colleague. You might think this does not go on in an 'adult' workplace; if you think so, I have a bridge to sell you. Another example is from my own life; I recently ran an ad on Facebook to promote my new garden book, and as fate would have it, several people responded with an 'angry' emoji. It wasn't quite clear to me why they were angry, and I commented on it in a general way, wondering if they were angry that I wrote a book or angry that I promoted it. I wished them all peace, whereby one of them actually responded in an angry way to my wishing them peace. His response made me understand that the world is truly a crazy place, full of angry people looking for ways to take it out on others. For more examples, you only need to take a look at the world news, with mass shootings in the USA and Europe, the war in Ukraine (and accompanying atrocities), the societal anger in the USA over so many things, and politicians who deliberately refuse to compromise and to take the higher road. Hatred, anger, and stubbornness prevail; they have won. I am not sure where it all will lead, but it's not anywhere good. 

When birds were dinosaurs

Very true. In another era, we might not have thought they were so sweet.......

(Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis)

The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby (From "Yellow Submarine") from 1966

Eleanor Rigby lyrics

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby

Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

Waits at the window

Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door

Who is it for?

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie

Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear

No one comes near

Look at him working

Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there

What does he care?

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby

Died in the church and was buried along with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie

Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved

All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)

Where do they all belong?

Seals & Crofts - We May Never Pass This Way Again [w/ lyrics]

This song was released in 1973, almost fifty years ago. It is a beautiful song/love song and pure poetry, expressing all the sentiments that many of us have about time passing and the wanting to spend the time we have on earth with those you love. The song makes you reflect on your life and your relationships, as did so much of the music we grew up with. 

The majority of music at present is not like this. It is harsher and more superficial. Perhaps it reflects the times we live in. There are a few exceptions, but by and large commercial hits with little substance are the norm. Artists make their money and move on. Some of them are one-hit wonders. I will try and find some of the exceptions; I know they exist.