Liars

Shades of the past that disappeared

And then came back

In different form.

You are not who you pretend to be.

You are an unknown.

You live your life accordingly.

No one gets close

But one got close enough

And she is whom you chose.

How long ago is long enough

You play at love and being tough

But in the end how high the cost.

You did not hold tightly to

What you had, did not hold dear

The love at hand, you lost.  

She knew what you thought

She would never know.

You fooled no one, you let her go.

You lied and you became

The cheat you thought you’d never be.

You behaved so arrogantly.

Those who think they are immune

From temptation risk only doom

Pride goes before a fall.

There will be those who wish you well

The cowards and like company.

And there will be those who lie

And hope that you will end in hell

While to your face they smile. 

copyright 2011  Paula M. De Angelis

Winterscapes at Lysebu

 

I took a few shots of the winter landscape around me at Lysebu, a conference center located in the hills of Oslo overlooking the city. A little winter wonderland of its own....

Niceness and weakness

Jennifer Granholm wrote ”Don’t mistake niceness for weakness”. I heard this quote for the first time many years ago and thought it made sense then without reflecting too much upon it, but was reminded of it today in conversation. It really is not uncommon for people to mistake niceness for weakness in today’s world, such that niceness becomes something to avoid or to squelch. Which leads me to wanting to define niceness in today’s world. Being nice doesn’t seem to be emphasized as much today as it was when I was growing up. When I was young child, we were always told to be nice to people and especially to older people. In those days, being ‘nice’ meant being well-mannered, quiet, polite, respectful, kind, tactful, generous and helpful. Rebellious, assertive, or demanding behavior was not nice behavior and was not encouraged in young women. Weakness was rarely discussed, and if it was, it was discussed in terms of physical attributes-- it was assumed that women were the physically weaker sex compared to men. I think the definition of being ‘nice’ from when we were children is still relevant for today. There is nothing wrong with wanting to encourage people to be all those things, but it's also quite ok to tell women especially that there is nothing wrong with being either honest or assertive--in other words, nothing wrong with opening your mouth and having an opinion. 

I don’t have any problem with being nice as long as others don’t have any problem understanding that my being nice does not mean that I am weak. I’ve gotten into conflicts with people who think that, or who think that they can take advantage of me because they mistake my niceness not only for weakness but for stupidity as well. They find out that I can defend myself pretty well if they push me too far, but that I don’t have to retaliate in kind. I think that being nice to others is a sign of integrity and strength—strength of character. It is much easier to be rude, ill-mannered, unkind, selfish and unhelpful because it is the base part of ourselves that would like to rise up and rule sometimes by taking the path of least resistance. To be nice means to exert effort in our dealings with others. It may mean listening politely to others when maybe you’d rather do something else; it means sometimes being of service to others instead of demanding service from others. It means sometimes letting someone else be the center of attention or giving someone else a turn. It means understanding that you have had your time in the limelight and that now it may be another person’s turn to shine. It means holding your tongue when maybe you’d like to lash out or criticize another person. It means not retaliating when maybe you’d like to do just that to someone who hurt you. It’s not always easy to be nice in my book, even though Dag Hammarskjold said that "It is easy to be nice, even to an enemy - from lack of character." I try to understand what he means by this, and what I come up with is that he interprets niceness generally as dishonesty.

The world doesn’t applaud niceness at the same time that it really could use more of it. We hear that ‘Nice guys finish last’. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said that "Well behaved women rarely make history." I don’t really agree with these quotes, but I understand how they might have come about. But Addison Walker said that “It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts”.  And Wilson Mizner said "Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.” Because there is nothing quite so (secretly) enjoyable as to watch a person who has treated others like crap on his or her way to the top, get his or her comeuppance on the way down. It is not nice to admit this, but it’s easy to admit it because it’s human to feel this way.

Lyrics to a classic song by Pink Floyd---'Breathe'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qsxpXqq1pA 


Breathe, breathe in the air.
Don't be afraid to care.
Leave but don't leave me.
Look around and choose your own ground.

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be.

Run, rabbit run.
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down it's time to dig another one.

For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave. 

-----------------------


I never tire of hearing this song, or of listening to the album 'Dark Side of the Moon'. It made such an impression on me when I was a teenager. I don't think there is another album that even comes close to it. 'Breathe' is such a good song and one that got me interested in listening to song lyrics because in this song they really are pure poetry. My father did not like the lyrics--he found them depressing and he meant we should spend our time listening to happier music. But even if he was right, it never stopped us from listening to this song and the album from which it came. There is something about the combination of the music and lyrics that made Dark Side of the Moon a perfect album. 

The New Science and Math Library at the University of Oslo

The University of Oslo will be building a new, modern Science and Math library in the Vilhelm Bjerknes' building. Renovations and construction will begin in the Vilhelm Bjerknes' building at the end of February / beginning of March. When the new library is completed in 2012, it will be actively used for debate and discussion about science and the importance of science to society. 

You can find the Library's Facebook page here--https://www.facebook.com/realfagsbiblioteket. 

There were some wonderfully interesting Arrangements at the Library during 2010--Bill Bryson, Marcus du Sautoy, Karen Lunsford, and Drew Endy held exciting lectures that had their audiences enthralled. There was a really interesting lecture by Ellen Henriksen followed by a panel debate about young women and why they don't choose careers in math and science. There were two important, exciting, and well-attended conferences--the BioConference 2010 with its Biodiversity theme, and the Bioinformatics Conference. There will be more Arrangements in 2011.  Follow the Facebook page during 2011 to stay up-to-date on all of the new and exciting Arrangements that the Library is planning! Stay tuned......


For those of you who cannot read Norwegian, you can become fans of the Facebook page anyway! Google Translate is a wonderful tool that I use a lot now to go back and forth between English and several languages. It will help you translate the site to English. The translations may be a little weird at times, but you'll get the gist of what is going on at the Library. It is a dynamic, forward-thinking, and future-focused library headed by women who are all these things and more. 

Christmas crèche in St.Olav's church

The Christmas season lingers, as was evident at the evening mass tonight at St. Olav’s Catholic Church. Even though the church year has moved on to the baptism of Jesus, the nativity scene, or crèche (see photo) as it’s called, is still on display to the right of the altar, and there were still a number of people after mass who lined up to walk by it and to touch the feet of baby Jesus. There are a lot of church parishioners who originally came from the Philippines; they seem to practice this particular custom. Perhaps other nationalities do as well. I lit two candles and said a prayer in front of the crèche. Seeing the life-size crèche always brings back memories of the crèche at Transfiguration Church in Tarrytown. It was a beautiful crèche with lovely life-size statues of Mary, Joseph, Jesus and the shepherds, and they were made even more beautiful after my sister and her friend scraped, sanded and repainted them. I was the documenter for the occasion, the picture-taker, with my trusty Kodak Instamatic camera. I got some nice photos of their handiwork.

The crèche is a peaceful display, a pastoral scene that is reminiscent of all the best things about childhood and Christmastime that I can remember—a stable, a starry sky, shepherds tending their sheep, angels on high, choirs of angels, and the placing of the child in a manger. Advent (from the Latin word adventus that means ‘coming’) is an important time in the church calendar, since it is a time of preparation for the birth of Christ. There is a lot of symbolism and ritual in the Church. We really prepared for Christmas in Catholic grade school (grades 1-8), starting already at the end of November. In art class we made a Judah tree, which is really the family tree of Jesus, but I don’t remember all the particulars, just that Mrs. Downey, our art teacher, had us use construction paper to design, cut out, and build a tree on which we placed the different ancestors of Jesus. We hung the tree in the classroom. An interesting way to learn biblical history, but I don’t remember much of it all these years later if that was the intent. We also spent time analyzing some of the famous paintings of the Annunciation (when Mary learned from the angel Gabriel that she was to be the mother of Jesus). We learned about the meaning of the Christmas tree; usually an evergreen tree, it is the symbol of the everlasting Christ. All of what we learned was related to the nativity. My parents also set up a small table-top crèche each year, and I continue that tradition. 

There is a bookstore in Akersgata in Oslo called Bok og Media, which is one of the oldest bookstores in Oslo and also a bookstore that has a large amount of Christian literature and media (http://bokogmedia.no/bm/main/bm9001/document/document11/Bok+%26+Media+Oslo.html). It has a special exhibition on the lower floor that they open to the public at Christmastime. You enter a long passageway, and as you enter, you are welcomed by the history of the Old Testament written on the wall leading up to the birth of Christ, as well as a map of the entire biblical area showing Galilee, Nazareth and Bethlehem, among others. As you proceed along the passageway, you will see that it is lined with crèches from countries all over the world. The last room before you exit is a room that is actually a life-size stable with a life-size crèche display. There are benches in front of it so that you can sit and reflect on the scene in front of you, while peaceful Christmas music plays softly in the background. When you emerge from the exhibition, you come out into an area of the bookstore that sells crèches and crèche figures, as well as Christmas music and books and other Christmas items. It is well-worth a trip to experience this exhibition. I have been there twice, and will definitely go back again. It is one of the many ‘hidden’ treasures of Oslo that someone needs to tell you about, otherwise you will never know they are there. The hidden treasures are some of the things I want to tell you, my readers, about in this blog. 

Winter scenes in Oslo

Akerselva river 

Deserted in winter--St. Hanshaugen park cafe

Benches in St. Hanshaugen park

Outdoors in the snow

It’s been snowing for the past few days in Oslo and there has been a fair amount of accumulation—about a foot or more in some places. The snow is dry and powdery, not wet and heavy, so it’s perfect for skiing but not for building a snowman. That’s what Mara and I discovered when we decided to spend part of our lunchtime today making a snowman. I bought a bag of carrots so that we could use one for its nose, and some chocolate balls for the eyes and mouth. We weren’t quite sure where we were going to build it—around the corner from our lab building was one idea. So it was somewhat disappointing to not be able to build a snowman because the snow wouldn’t pack well. We ended up taking a walk instead. It was snowing a bit and it was really nice to be outdoors.

Don’t ask me to explain what has happened, but the woman who doesn’t really like the cold and the snow has discovered that she ‘kinda sorta’ likes them this year. Strangely enough, it’s not difficult to admit it. I like being out in the cold air where I can breathe. I like walking outside when it is snowing, especially at night when the falling snow glitters in the lights from the streetlamps. Walking anywhere these days is pleasant—because it’s freedom. I have also discovered that I can run in the snow with really good boots (that grip the snow)—I finally own a pair and it’s a whole new world. I’m not slipping and sliding like I used to. Walking along the Akerselva river after it has snowed is very pleasant. I haven’t cross-country skied in years after hurting my back some years ago, but I think I want to try that again. Anything that gets my body moving and outdoors. It’s one reason I really don’t like going to the gym anymore. The machines are fine for training, but I miss training and being outdoors and breathing in the fresh air. I read an article recently that said much the same—that people who trained derived much greater benefit from training outdoors than they did from being in a gym. It makes sense to me. The snow makes me feel like a kid again—I would love to grab a sleigh and go sledding, build a snowman, make angels in the snow, run and walk and throw snowballs (I do that already with my husband), build a fort like we did when we were kids, and so much more. Or I’d like to find my little haven of peace under the snow-laden branches of the trees like I did when I was a kid—sit under them protected, away from the world at large, and just enjoy the peace. I’m definitely going to do some of these things. So if you see angels in the snow somewhere, they might just be made by me—“of the angels”. And I have a feeling we'll definitely get a chance to build at least one snowman this winter. 

Dreams and goals

The holiday season is like a cocoon that I wrap myself in from about mid-December until the beginning of January. I feel safe during that time, protected, happy in a way that I remember from childhood. It’s a good feeling. It has to do with harmony, peace, family, good times, and feeling free (not working). It’s the feeling I try to hang onto once I go back to work and the routines of daily life, because once back, I’m forced to emerge from the protective cocoon. A new year has many possibilities. I’m hoping 2011 will be a good year, a year of possibilities and opportunities. Already today, there were two potential consulting opportunities that came my way and I acted on both of them. They were not advertised as such but I took the initiative to ask about the possibility of working as a consultant. The first opportunity had to do with working on an editorial team for a newsletter published by a scientific association to which I belong. They wanted someone to work for free and considering the amount of work involved, it wasn’t worth getting involved in even though it would have been a good learning experience. The other has to do with providing research services/help in various forms to scientists, e.g. literature searches, manuscript preparation, and so on. This was an idea I had some years ago and that actually led to some consultant work. However, I did not pursue the idea of having my own consulting firm at that time because I did not have enough experience as a consultant. I have it now. So perhaps I can join forces with this organization in some way. Time will tell. I thought it was interesting that my first day back at work, there were two possibilities. And where there are two, there will be more. I’ve got to stay positive and not let myself get dragged down into the doldrums again by my current workplace. That’s easier said than done but I will try.

I had a conversation today with a good friend at work about honesty, among other things. It was not a long conversation, but it got me thinking about honesty in life, in work and in relationships. It’s good to be around people who are good for you. They will confront you in a kind way and they encourage honesty. The operative word in my book is ‘kind’. Honesty implies intimacy and trust; it’s not possible to be honest without them, and they can only emerge and grow in an atmosphere of kindness. Kind people are not preachy nor do they make you feel guilty. It’s freeing to be in their company. They listen without (much) judgment and they don’t need to talk just about themselves. They can be happy for others and they don’t like to play games. I try to be this way to people I love and care about so it’s nice when I feel like I am the recipient of it too. It’s always disheartening to be rammed emotionally by passive aggressive people—people who attack in a way that blindsides me—whether it be to try to make me feel guilty about something or to attack me because they cannot attack the person or persons they really want to attack. But I digress a bit. I realized today that I have dreams and goals (e.g. retiring early), and that I am shaping my life to make them a reality. Even if I stay in my current job, I am clear about my motivations for staying. I need to save as much money as possible to make my dreams and goals come true. I never worked solely with the aim of making money before, believe it or not, so this is something new for me. I don’t mean to imply that I haven’t paid attention to my earnings through the years and whatnot, because I have, but my work life hasn’t been driven by making big money. So it’s interesting that if I was to be completely honest with myself at this time in my life, I am more interested in money now and in being paid well for the work I do, because I have specific goals and dreams. It is exhilarating to realize this.

So what will I do if I retire early? I know already that I won’t be bored. I definitely want to do volunteer work of some sort. I want to spend more time reading, I want to do consulting work, I want to write, to pursue photography, to travel a bit, to spend more time with the people I love and care about. I want to have a more spontaneous social life—invite friends in for coffee and not have to plan everything down to the last little detail. I want to bike and run and be outdoors a lot. In other words, I want to enjoy my freedom after over forty years (by that time) spent in the prison of the work world. If my husband retires at the same time, we’ll be two doing these things instead of one. Working is a means to an end. I’ve said it in earlier posts—but it bears repeating—work to live, don’t live to work. And let it reward you monetarily as well as intellectually. Don’t fall into the trap of working solely for the intellectual benefit and struggling for years on end. It’s possible to combine the two. Don’t accept impossible or unrewarding conditions for too long. That would be my advice to younger people if asked. 

Some wise words concerning New Year's resolutions

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
Oscar Wilde

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.
John Burroughs

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.
F.M. Knowles

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's.
Henry Moore

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
Anaïs Nin

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
James Agate

Welcome 2011!

Happy New Year

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy New Year! I hope that 2011 will be a memorable year for all those things that bring joy and peace into our lives. And I wish that for the world as well. There has been too much conflict, too much death, too much war, and not enough peace and joy. 

I don't think I will miss 2010 even though there were some happy and memorable times. It was one of those years that stand apart from the others. 1985 was one of those years for me. They are challenging years, educational in their own way, but the process of learning comes at a cost. This year was incredibly frustrating, confusing and disappointing. I am not quite sure yet what I lost this year, but work problems took their toll and I think that has led to a widespread disillusion with the academic work world. That in and of itself would have been such a terrible thing for me to admit ten years ago, that I was disillusioned with my career and my work. Now it is not. But it is a tough thing to let go of--that intense love of work that I used to have--actually sad in many ways. A small grieving process in terms of letting go of the way I used to look at my work. I am not sure a new job would do the trick for me anymore, because I have become so skeptical about academia and the research world in general. However, my consulting work for the university library (Live, Kirsten and Liz) and for Liiv-MD (Bernadette), were the high points of this work year. Without them, I would surely have slid into a real depression in reaction to my work life. These jobs challenged me and got me thinking in new ways, and helped me to rediscover the joy of immersing myself in work and new projects. They also made me realize that I could leave academia and not look back. I wouldn't miss it very much. So that's a good realization, as well as knowing that I let something new into my life, in a non-traditional way. I broke my own mold and that was good for me.

The happy times were spent with family and friends, both here in Norway and in NY. Some of the highpoints of this year were seeing Pat Metheny in concert, Birgitte’s PhD defense and dinner afterwards, Caroline and Marius’ wedding, a relaxing summer vacation with Trond, and my trip to NY in August and seeing all my wonderful friends and family there. Those times are precious to me--treasures in my heart. Those times are what life is really all about, or what I want my life to be mostly about, and they are what I want more of as I get older. The sadness of this year was the passing of my colleague and friend Liza right before Christmas. Although we (her colleagues and friends) knew it could happen at any time since she was quite sick, when it did, it happened so fast and it made me realize again how unpredictable life is. We don't always have time to get our lives in order and to say goodbye. We cannot and should not take life for granted, and we should try to live each day in the best way possible. Not always easy to do or to remember, but well-worth thinking about. I say this mostly to remind myself to do that.

My one New Year’s resolution, if I was going to make one, would probably be to complain less about my workplace (if that is possible). I will certainly try. I imagine it will go like this though—I will want to complain, but will put a lid on it. Then I’ll go buy a punching bag to take out my frustrations, and who knows, that may help to get me into better physical shape. Or I’ll buy a dart board and hang it on the inside of my office door. Tossing a few darts at the board may help me feel better. In any case, I’m definitely going to try to deal with my workplace frustrations, and otherwise make the best of my life outside of work, which is most important.

For Auld Lang Syne, my friends

The end of this year and the beginning of a new year are upon us, and for the sake of old times I want to honor the memories of those who passed on recently and of those who left us years ago. You are not and never will be forgotten.

I am reminded of the movie When Harry Met Sally when a new year is right around the corner. The ending of the movie never fails to bring tears to my eyes, because when Harry finally realizes that he wants to be with Sally for the rest of his life, he is overwhelmed with a sense of urgency to get to her. How often does that happen to us? To know that feeling--that sense of urgency-- when you want to change your life or some part of it, and you’d like it to happen NOW. Except that sometimes God and the universe have other plans and the changes take much longer than you’d like. Confucius said “Every journey starts with a single step.” Our lives are our journeys if we want them to be. They can be long journeys if we’re lucky. We can choose to really live our lives, to be present to ourselves and for others, to step up to the plate, to take responsibility, to live now, to honor the past because it gave us our identity and to respect the future because it is an unknown entity. It’s scary to take the first step sometimes. It’s easier to stay put on the couch in front of the TV rather than to stand up and move out of the passivity that may have become part of our lives. I’ve written about that so many times this past year probably because it was an important realization for me. I got off my couch. I stopped watching TV in a mindless way, flipping from one channel to another in a vapid attempt to find something meaningful to watch. I stopped asking it to give meaning to my life. Making the journey means wanting to be active participants in our own lives. It means being aware and conscious and alive, and willing to be all those things. It’s important because if we don’t choose against passivity, we hand over the reins to others to control us and that is not an attractive option at all, at least to me. I have become preoccupied with this because it could happen that our freedoms could be taken away from us if we are not aware of their value to our lives. That thought scares me.

Writing this blog has helped me become an active participant in my own life. It has given me back my voice and shown me what is important to me for the rest of my life. It has opened new roads and ways into my heart and soul and mind. It has also helped me unearth long-buried memories that were waiting to be revealed. It is amazing what we store away and how much we forget. Writing unlocks many doors; some of them open into rooms of sadness, others open into rooms of light and hope. For old times’ sake, I honor all my memories and all of the people who helped make those memories together with me. Some of them are sad, others joyful, but they define me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The ending of a year is always a bit poignant, but also hopeful because we move into a new year full of possibilities. I think I have finally understood (after many years) that there really are several possible outcomes to one specific event, not just one, and that we can often choose our response. Just that thought gives me a sense of exhilaration and freedom that I haven’t experienced in a while. I wish that sense of exhilaration and freedom for my friends, family, for those reading this blog, and for the world in general. I hope that 2011 brings hope to those who have not known hope for many years. I hope too that we find grace in our lives and in the things we do and that we realize that we do have a choice, a voice and the means at our disposal to make a difference in the world. 

Another favorite Christmas song

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)

(Music and lyrics by Torme and Wells—1946)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,

Jack Frost nipping at your nose,

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,

Help to make the season bright.

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,

Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way;

He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.

And every mother's child is going to spy,

To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,

To kids from one to ninety-two,

Although it’s been said many times, many ways,

Merry Christmas to you.

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This song reminds me of trips to New York City at Christmastime when we were children. It was not an annual tradition, but we did manage a few trips as a family as I remember. We would take the train from Tarrytown to Grand Central Station in Manhattan and then walk down 5^th Avenue to 37^th Street to see the storefront window at Lord &Taylor’s. It always had a spectacular Christmas display of one kind or another; folks lined up to walk past it with their children. It fascinated us as kids. We also would go and see the big Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, watch the skaters on the rink in front of the tree, and stop into St. Patrick’s Cathedral nearby to light a candle. What I also remember (also thanks to this song) are the street vendors who sold roasted chestnuts. My father would buy a bag of them and share them with us. I don’t remember that I liked them very much, but he did and that was fine. They always smelled so good, especially in the cold winter air and it was nice to hold the warm bag of chestnuts and feel the warmth through my gloves. But it was the sights and sounds of Manhattan at Christmastime that I remember too. And even as a young adult when I worked in Manhattan, the Christmas storefront displays, the glittering trees, the streetlights and Christmas lights hung up, Trump Tower with its big wreaths—all of it has stayed in my mind—glittering with the splendor of the season. 

Christmas music and memories

Listening to the classic songs and carols that I grew up with is one of the things I really love about the Christmas season. With each year that passes, they become more important to me, I guess because they link me to my past as well as to my present. The way I prepare for and celebrate Christmas is strongly influenced by my memories of growing up as well as by the different people I’ve come into contact with through the years who have shared their Christmas traditions and favorite songs with me. As with films having to do with Christmas, I have my favorite Christmas songs and albums. I’ve already posted the lyrics to some of my favorite songs in previous posts. Interestingly, the I-Tunes store is having a ’12 Days of Christmas’ promotion until January 6th—customers can download one free song per day until that time. I’ve decided that I am going to download twelve different Christmas songs and put together my own collection of songs.

One of the earliest Christmas albums I can remember listening to as a young child was called Christmas in Italy. It had a picture on the LP cover that completely fascinated me as a child. I have a tape recording of the album but would love to get a hold of the LP. I actually found a link to the album on Etsy that shows the cover: http://www.etsy.com/listing/60305492/christmas-in-italy-natale-in-italia, but the LP had already been sold. The cover shows two Italian children seated at a dining room table on which different foods, fruit, cake and wine had been laid out—an Italian Christmas feast. Their grandmother was serving them. The large high cake on the table appears to be a panettone, which is a fragrant-smelling and tasting Italian cake that my parents used to buy each year at Macy’s department store and that we ate for breakfast on Christmas Day. Panettones were always imported from Italy as far as I can remember; they appear to have come from many different regions in Italy. I still buy a panettone each year at Christmas. It’s not difficult to find them in Oslo. But back to the album—it is one of my favorites from childhood; the children talk in Italian in between the songs, and I always remember at some point that it sounded like they said my sister’s name, Renata. That somehow made it even more special.

Another favorite album is a collection of Christmas songs and carols sung by The Singers Unlimited. I got the LP as a gift from one of the doctors I used to work with at Memorial Sloan-Kettering back in the 1980s. It was one of his family’s favorites and he knew I would like it, so he bought it for me one Christmas. You can now buy it as a CD on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Singers-Unlimited/dp/B0000046J8. What makes it special is that the entire album (from 1972) was recorded ‘a capella’, without instruments, and The Singers Unlimited (a well-known jazz group) add their own special touch to all the songs they sing—jazzy vocals, interesting harmonies, lovely arrangements. Well-worth owning.

In later years I’ve acquired other collections of Christmas music that have joined the ranks of my favorites: A Windham Hill Christmas (II), Andrea Bocelli’s Christmas album (wonderful), A King’s College Christmas (British), Christmas with the Academy and Chorus of St. Martin in the Fields (British), and A Charlie Brown Christmas (lovely Christmas songs performed by the Vince Guaraldi trio). We also have a well-worn recording of the music by Tchaikovsky from The Nutcracker ballet. Attending the Nutcracker ballet each year is an annual Christmas tradition in our house that started in 1993 with a visit to the Metropolitan Ballet Theatre in Manhattan, and which we’ve kept up with in later years here in Oslo at The Norwegian Opera and Ballet.

I like celebrating Christmas in Europe; it lasts for more than just one day. You get a chance to enjoy the season and the holiday from the day before Christmas and for at least the week afterwards. The holiday is not over on December 26^th.  And that is how we grew up, since that is how my parents celebrated the holiday. Our Christmas tree stayed up until the Epiphany on January 6^th. Our tree now stays up even longer. The celebration of Christmas rounds out the year and prepares me for the coming of a new year. It is not about and never will be about materialism and commercialism for me. It is a celebration of the traditions, rituals, memories and spirit of the season and gift-giving is a part of that. But it is all the other things—the songs, films, preparation of food, going to church, and visiting family and friends, that make it what it is—a joyful, holy, special and sometimes sad time of year. I remember and miss those who are no longer with us—like my parents—but I know they are with me in spirit because I feel their presence during the holidays, and that is comforting. I understand the value and importance of traditions much more now that I am older; they keep you rooted to your past and give you a sense of identity in the present and that is a good thing.