My favorite line--the friends who didn't make life a competition, but rather a grand adventure that became better together. I'm so grateful for my closest friends, because we have shared some wonderful adventures together, and have not wasted our lives competing with each other. We care about each other and love each other, and always have each other's backs. I consider myself blessed to have such friends in my life.
I read many of his books when I was in my twenties and can recommend them (the last two are science fiction):
He is a spiritual writer without necessarily identifying with any one religion, which I like. He chronicled his 'conversion' from atheism to Christianity in Surprised by Joy and Mere Christianity. Whatever I write about his books here cannot do them justice. Each book he wrote is its own treasure and there is much to discover in each of them. They will change your life it you let them.
I leave you with this quote that I found online today. Typical Lewis--he makes you think. Plato thought in much the same way--that all things exist as 'Forms' in an abstract state. In the case of human beings, they acquire a body at birth. I don't pretend to understand his philosophy, but I find it fascinating.
We did mini-vacations in Norway this summer, much like last summer. The pandemic curtailed plans to travel abroad for many people, at least up until mid-July when the quarantine rules for those returning to Norway from trips abroad were relaxed. Until that point, returnees were forced to quarantine at quarantine hotels for ten days, regardless of vaccination status, which was not appealing.
We decided to check out the classic/historical hotels here in Norway, within a decent driving distance of Oslo. Hotel Refsnes Gods is one of the classic hotels: Hotell Refsnes Gods by Classic Norway Hotels | Moss | Norway - Classic Norway It is about an hour's drive from Oslo, on an island called Jeløy in the Oslo fjord near the city of Moss. It is a beautiful island and an even more beautiful old hotel. We spent a weekend there; it was actually a delayed 30th wedding anniversary celebration, because our anniversary is in May, but the hotel was closed due to the major lockdown that Norway experienced from February until June. We had lovely warm weather that weekend, so we walked around the area near the hotel, and went down to the fjord. Whenever I visit these old hotels, I always wonder what it would have been like to have experienced being there a hundred or more years ago, when modern technology as we know it did not exist. I'm glad that these old hotels have been restored and that they are open to the public to enjoy. Refsnes Gods is well-worth visiting, both for the ambience and the food (the restaurant dinner was very good).
Another hotel that we recently visited was the historical Hoel Gård on the Nes peninsula in Hedmark, on the banks of Lake Mjøsa: Hoel Gård at Nes - Historic hotels in Norway (dehistoriske.com). We can highly recommend this beautiful hotel for its lovely buildings, beautiful surroundings, very good food and very good service; it has been described as a 'pearl on Lake Mjøsa' located in 'Norway's Tuscany'. The estate on which it is located is lovely; large areas of it are utilized as a farm with its own production of chicken, grains, and potatoes, so that the restaurant at the hotel can truthfully boast that is is 'farm to table' since the produce is used in the restaurant. The grounds as I said are well-kept and lovely, with small flower gardens here and there. Again we had very nice weather for the days that we spent there. We stayed two nights in the 'Lukk Døren' ('close the door') room at the manor house, and one night in a charming little pavilion (summer house) called the 'bridal suite'. There were no televisions in any of the guest rooms, and that added to the feeling of being away from it all--a welcome feeling. There was a road leading down to the lake that was lined with trees on both sides, which bent over toward each other at the tops, forming an arbour of sorts. We walked down that road several times, joined by a pair of cute sparrow-like birds (lark sparrows?) that hopped in front of us as we walked, totally unafraid and very curious. Otherwise, outside the bridal suite were many wagtails; if you've never seen them strut about, you're in for a treat--they're very cute.
Lake Mjøsa is Norway's largest lake, and as luck would have it, there is an old paddle steamship called Skibladner that makes regular tours back and forth between Gjøvik and Lillehammer, with stops at Brumunddal, Hamar and also at Nes (Hoel Gård--but only on Sundays). This info is from the Skibladner website (Velkommen til Skibladner -- verdens eldste hjuldamper i drift):
'The world's oldest preserved paddle steamer in timetabled service, with live steam engines, paddle wheels and a speed of 12 knots. Skibladner is the pride of Norway's inland, and one of Norway's best-loved tourist attractions'.
We were at the hotel from Monday to Thursday, so we did not experience watching the ship dock at the hotel's large pier. But we did experience eating lunch onboard in the ship's restaurant--good food and a pleasant atmosphere. Just being on the boat was enough for me; I love traveling on these old-time ships.
Here are some photos of the hotels and of Skibladner. Enjoy!
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| Refsnes Gods hotel |
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| the Oslo fjord |
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| sunset viewed from our Refsnes Gods hotel room patio looking out over the grounds and the fjord |
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| the manor house at Hoel Gård |
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| restaurant seating outdoors at Hoel Gård on a lovely summer night |
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| tree-lined road leading down to Lake Mjøsa and the pier/beach |
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| the bridal suite at Hoel Gård |
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| at the pier and beach with views of the porters' houses at Hoel Gård that can be rented |
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| view of the manor house from the bridal suite |
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| beautiful Lake Mjøsa |
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| Skibladner |
We've had exceptionally warm weather for most of July, and it's done wonders for the garden. I call the last week in June/first two weeks in July the magic time in the garden. It's as though nature waves its special wand during this time and suddenly everything is transformed--the garden grows by leaps and bounds. I forget that from year to year; that nature takes care of itself for the most part. There have been years where the growth hasn't been so spectacular during this time; this year is not one of them. I imagine that the addition of new soil to the vegetable beds also helped, because I've never seen the potato plants grow so high as they've done this year. They have also formed berries, which I've never really seen before. This means that sexual reproduction is involved due to pollination; from what I've read online, most potatoes reproduce asexually from tubers, which are clones. So it's cool to see this aspect of their reproduction. I will harvest some of the potato berries after six weeks or so and try growing some potatoes from seeds next year.
Otherwise, the zucchini plants are producing zucchinis already, and the pumpkin and butternut squash plants show some developing fruit. The tomato plants are growing well and tomatoes are starting to develop. The cucumber plants have already produced two long cucumbers that taste very good. The bean plants are also thriving, but I don't see any beans hanging on them as of yet.
I bought a fair amount of perennials this year so that I don't have to fill in the empty spots in the garden with annual flowers each year. Some of the perennials I've bought are Coreopsis lanceolata (tickseed), Delphinium 'Magic Fountains' (larkspur), burgundy Gaillardia aristata (Great Blanket flower), Lythrum salicaria (purple loosestrife), Leucanthemum 'Banana Cream' (Shasta daisy), and columbine (akeleie in Norwegian). I've also gotten some perennials from my neighbor gardeners--Phlox and Polemonium (Jacob's ladder). All of them are growing happily. My forsythia bushes are growing, as are the potentilla (cinquefoil) bushes. The gladiolas are fairly tall now and some have started to flower, and the sunflowers have grown tall and have flowered. I planted the wild meadow seeds that I ordered online under the red currant bush where nothing usually grows; they took and the meadow flowers look so pretty. The pachysandra also are thriving; you know that from how they spread out. They like the shade, and are about the only plants that have done well under the krossved tree.
We didn't have many red currants or strawberries this year, but we do have many black currants as well as raspberries and gooseberries. This is the first year that the black raspberry plant (Rubus coreanus) is producing fruit; it is so good. The blackberry bushes are also starting to produce fruit. If you look quickly at black raspberries, they can be confused with blackberries, but they are not the same. It's been interesting to learn about the differences between them.
It rained heavily the past few days and that is always a bit tough on those plants/flowers that need support. After our four-day vacation I came back to the garden to find the sunflowers slightly bent over, and the tall tomentose goldquelle laciniata (a type of coneflower) that I have planted along the fence, completely bent over. Getting them to stand up straight again took some time and I had to attach them to the fence with strong wire in order to keep them that way.
Keeping the names of all the flowers straight is not easy, especially since I need to know both the Norwegian and English names because I speak with both Norwegians and non-Norwegians about garden-related things. It's easier with the vegetables: potato and tomato are the same words in Norwegian, zucchini is referred to as sommer squash (summer squash). Pumpkin is gresskar, butternut squash is butternut squash. Beans are bønner. There are different varieties of all of them, but the basic name remains the same.
Here are some photos of the garden as of this past week.
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| Phlox flowers |
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| Coreopsis lanceolata (tickseed) |
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| Leucanthemum 'Banana Cream' (Shasta daisy) |
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| burgundy Gaillardia aristata |
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| butternut squash developing |
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| sunflowers happily growing near the compost bin |
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| how the back side of the greenhouse looks now after all the plantings |
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| a view of the greenhouse front and back |
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| cherry tomato plants and potato plants in the foreground |
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| summer aster to the right and pumpkin plants in front of it in the foreground |
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| the birdbath area surrounded by flowers, a rose bush, a bamboo plant and rhododendron |
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| the main flower garden with rose mallows, lavender, peonies, Japanese maple tree, polemonium |
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| wild meadow flowers (I planted the seeds under the red currant bush where nothing usually grows) |
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| pachysandra spreading out under the krossved tree (nothing else will grow there due to the shade) |
It is still summer in Oslo, in fact, it's been quite a warm summer from mid-June until now. My garden is thriving; we've already eaten zucchinis and cucumbers that grew quickly in the summer heat. We will have a bumper crop of tomatoes this year--both regular and cherry tomatoes. Whenever I am away from the garden for a few days, as I was now while we vacationed in Hedmark, and then come back to the garden, I am always in awe of just how much growth can occur in the space of a few days. Yesterday was the first day I was back in the garden after having been away since Monday. There were gooseberries and raspberries to pick, and the blueberries are also starting to ripen. I still have a formidable job of berry-picking ahead of me. The two gooseberry bushes alone are weighed down by the sheer numbers of berries on them. As I was picking raspberries, I was competing for each berry with the honeybees, who are now sucking the nectar out of the raspberries. They did that last year as well, but there were very few of them. This year it's as though all the worker bees descended on the raspberry patch.
Today is the last day of July, and next week it will be back to work for most of us. I will finish out the month of August and then I am free forever of the work world. But that is another story for another time. Today I want to share with you Mary Oliver's beautiful poem The Summer Day. The feelings and thoughts she describes in her poem are about where I am in life at present--willing to immerse myself in the nature around me, willing to abandon myself to the awe and wonder of it all. A garden is God's manifestation of a miracle in nature; how a pollinated flower produces a long hanging cucumber is a mystery and a miracle at the same time. I never cease to be amazed by the power and beauty of nature. I have said it before, but it's worth repeating--it is no surprise to me that paradise is described as the garden of Eden. Paradise for me would have to be a garden.
The Summer Day
I read a quote recently that resonated with me--something to the effect of 'you can miss a place or a time in your life without necessarily wanting to return to it'. It got me thinking about the intangibles of life in more general terms, about those places we cannot really reach inside ourselves and that they are the places we can never really explain or truly define. We remember them, but how does one define memories? What are they really? They represent something very important to us, but we cannot reach them, cannot touch them, cannot call them up all the time at will. Sometimes they are triggered by a smell, a room, a touch, a word. They point to places inside ourselves that are intangible, and it is often those places that make us melancholy, perhaps for how life 'used to be' or for some other feeling that tugs at our souls for attention. The melancholy comes from our minds and souls, comes from that part of us that is spiritual and not material. The spiritual is another intangible. I have often written in this blog about how my life used to be--as a child, or a young adult, or an employee starting out in the work world. I understand after having reread those posts that I write with a certain melancholy, an intangible feeling of sadness or even grief, that really has to do with my soul's acknowledgment that time on earth is passing and that there is nothing I can do about that. Even if I told you that I miss certain times from the past, I could not return to them even if I wanted to, because the laws of physics deem that impossible. I can of course return to them in the realm of imagination. That is the stuff of novels and dreams, and the basis for much of science fiction. The ideas of time travel, parallel worlds or non-linear time appeal to me; I find science fiction oddly comforting.
I have just finished reading Joan Didion's collection of California essays entitled Slouching Toward Bethlehem. Her writing is tinged with a melancholy that I can understand, especially when she writes about the Sacramento of her youth (where she grew up) and modern Sacramento. They are not the same and never could be. She knows that. But still. My favorite essay is the one where she writes about saying goodbye to New York City after having spent eight years there. Goodbye to All That captures so many of the reasons why young people come to New York City and why many of them never leave even though they should, because their dreams are gone and/or they are wasted and wasting time (their lives). I could understand her reasons for being there and for wanting to leave. I could relate to her talking about the wondrousness of the city, seen for the first time, walking down the city streets, stopping in to a small shop for a snack--all those things. I remember liking the city because I could be anonymous there; I could start over as many times as I liked, and no one was there to tell me not to do that. But of course there are only so many times one can start over, and only so many years that one wishes to remain anonymous in order to start over. She writes about the city being a city for the young, not for the old. That is because the dreamers come to the city, wanting to be successful, wanting to live out their dreams of becoming famous writers or actors. But the same could be said of Los Angeles and Hollywood; many waiters have waited tables there for years, waiting for their big break in Hollywood that will never come to pass. Many stay 'too long at the fair', as Didion describes it. I could relate to her absolute weariness of going to parties and hearing the same things said over and over again by the same people; at some point, you must act on the weariness or go crazy. You cannot listen to the pipe dreams of others for too long. You cannot listen to the bullshit for too long. If you do, you will be mired in the mud of inertia, and it will drag you under. You will become cynical. You can grow old in the city and never realize that until one day you wake up and it smacks you in the face--the realization that you are midway through life and that you have to do something with your 'one wild and precious life' as Mary Oliver writes. In Didion's case, she seemed to have had a nervous breakdown of sorts. But at the same time, she married her boyfriend; he took her back to California, her home state. It seemed to help her, as both he and she became successful writers. I like her fragility, her humility, her ability to insert herself quietly into the lives around her in order to observe and write about them. She was not aggressive in her dealings with people. But she is tough and unflinching in how she writes about their lives and about herself and her approaches to life--she is not afraid to write about her melancholy, about crying at the strangest of times and not knowing why, about being weary, about being human. Her essays are essays about the ironic, contradictory, messed-up lives around her (including her own) that constitute humanity. She writes about the melancholy of life, the melancholy of the intangible, in a way that makes me want to read more of her work.
Spot on. I wish we as a society would just stop measuring everything--productivity, service, quality of service, personal experience after ordering on a website, and personal experience after using a commercial website of any kind. It's gotten to the point that one minute after I've purchased something, be it clothing, coffee or something else I needed, I get an email or a text message asking me to evaluate my experience. I don't want to. I hereby state that I no longer wish to fill out any company survey asking me to rate my experience and to give reasons for my rating. I'll get in touch with you if I am super happy or super unhappy with the service I received. Super happy or super unhappy are rare experiences, as well they should be. Measuring productivity has the same effect on me. There are so few times that I myself haven't lived up to my own standards for productivity that I can count them on one hand in the space of a forty-year career. So I don't need to constantly evaluate how I could have been more productive. I wasn't as productive as I could have been, those few times. So what? Life went on. There were no catastrophes because I didn't measure up on those particular days. No one was hurt by the fact that my research was less than optimal those few days. I am fairly certain that many others feel the same way. We are not perfect human beings. We need to give ourselves a break; there are already too many 'measurers' out there, just waiting for the chance to nail us. I won't give them the pleasure. Such constant measuring distracts us from what Watts calls 'degree of presence'. Are we present in our own lives? Are we present when we experience something beautiful in nature? Are we aware of what is happening around us in the moment? Or do we gloss over that one moment in the hunt for as many moments as possible--so that we can tally them up and tell others that we have done this or that many times. Life is not a competition with others about who is most productive or who has amassed the most 'moments', nor is it a race to the finish line. Nobody is going to hand you a medal at the end of your life telling you that you that you were best, that you were most productive, that you 'won'.
I've had half of June and will have all of July free, and I've had time to reflect on many things. One of the biggest changes in my life is coming up soon, at the end of August to be precise. As of September 1st, I will no longer be a full-time employee, anywhere. I'll be retired. I'm already used to not working since I've had so much vacation and I like it very much. I like having the free time, the time to plan my days the way I want, the time to do absolutely nothing if nothing beckons me. I am trying to learn how to relax again; it's not easy after many years of having my daily life lived according to a work schedule that was often quite intense. I realize that I've forgotten how to relax. I used to be good at it when I was in my teens and twenties. No more. I must relearn some basic things, like how to sit still and just do nothing for an hour or two. Or not have to be anywhere at a specific time. I don't have to show up anywhere. It feels wonderful.
The biggest change is what has happened to my mind and soul since I made the decision a year ago to retire now. I have developed a distinct distaste (almost an anathema) for anything that smacks of competition. I don't want to be the 'best at' or 'worst at' anything. I just want to be. I want to write without having to compete, garden without having to compete, ride a bike without having to compete. If other people think I do a good job at all those things, fine. It doesn't really matter what other people think anymore. Not the way it did when I worked. You cannot be in a workplace without considering the ideas, comments, and plans of others--for you and for themselves. But now, I don't want to have any five-year plans for what I plan to write or for what the garden will look like in the future or for personal training programs. I want to be left to my own thoughts and feelings about things; no trends, no musts, no 'you should try harder', no shoulds at all. I know the work world is not modeled on a no-competition philosophy; I am fully aware of that. But I no longer have to deal with the work world. After a long career in academia, where competition is what has driven and drives most research scientists, I realize that my soul is tired. Tired of competition, tired of the futility of competing, tired of so many injustices, tired of lies, tired of newspeak and fake news, tired of the fake positivity lectures (if you think positive, you'll win). Competition no longer appeals to me, pure and simple. I know it's part of life, and that it's of course necessary at some stages in life in order to get a job, to get ahead at work, and to find a potential mate, but at this point in my life it seems counterproductive. As in, what's the point? Why should I compete, for what reason? What is the goal now? I don't want any more 'goals'. I've had enough of them dangling in front of my eyes for most of my life, starting with school, then university, then the workplace. I want a goal-free existence from now on, and if there are any few goals to live up to, they'll be the ones I set for myself, not ones that society sets for me. I will give myself ample time to reach them, and if I don't reach them, that's ok too. I see retirement as a letting-go of the way many things were done before, a letting-go of a certain mindset that worked for me when I was younger. Letting-go of that mindset appeals to me. I don't want retirement to be a competition with other retirees, talking about who is traveling where, who is taking this or that course, who is working part-time/whose company cannot live without their expertise. I will avoid those types of retirees if I can and opt for an afternoon of peace in my garden, alone, but not lonely.
When my husband and I lived in San Francisco for a year (back in 1993), we visited Muir Woods, which was one of the most memorable places we visited that year. This national monument has many old redwood trees, some of which are more than 150 years old. I remember being in awe of the redwood trees, how tall they are, how beautiful, and how amazing it is that they exist. Muir Woods was named for John Muir, the Scottish-born American naturalist, writer, and advocate of U.S. forest conservation (info from Wikipedia). Just some background for this quote for today, which is so true. Nature provides connection with the life around us, peace, solitude, silence, and simple joy.
I'm proud of our article that was just published in Anticancer Research. The article has been placed in 'Issue Highlights' as well (Anticancer Research (iiarjournals.org). It's a nice way to round off my career in academic science. My co-authors and I worked hard on this article; we started the work in 2017 and I finished most of the data analysis and writing of the article in February 2021. One of the co-authors (Sean Pham) did his Masters degree studying one of the DNA repair proteins (PARP1); he successfully defended his work in 2018. So all in all--a productive last four years. I'm grateful to know/have known some wonderful research technicians, Masters students, PhD students, and pathologists. Without them, this article would never have seen the light of day. Teamwork. When science is about teamwork and working together toward the goal of publishing what one studies, nothing in the world beats it--that feeling of contributing new knowledge to the field, however small a contribution. That feeling has nothing to do with power or politics, just with pure knowledge and intellectual satisfaction.
I also want to thank the research foundation at Oslo University Hospital for their generous support of my research during the past ten years. I don't know what I would have done without them, because most small academic scientists like myself, who enjoy working independently and are not part of huge centers of excellence, don't get funding anymore from the large granting organizations and institutions like the Norwegian Cancer Society and the Norwegian Research Council. So thanks to the hospital research foundation from the bottom of my heart. You kept us going during tough times. I'd like to think that your support of us is money well-spent.
Here is the link to the article if you'd like to check it out: DNA Repair Protein Expression and Oxidative/Nitrosative Stress in Ulcerative Colitis and Sporadic Colorectal Cancer | Anticancer Research (iiarjournals.org)
I have very little good to say about electric scooters, which is perhaps a bit sad given that they seem to be a rather congenial way of getting around a town or city. My dislike of them stems from the fact that Oslo has done a terrible job of regulating their use. You can read about the scooters and why they are so unpopular at present with just about everyone in Oslo except the halfwits who use/abuse them and the privilege of driving them: More rules loom for electric scooters (newsinenglish.no)
New regulations regarding their use are forthcoming in August; they can't come too soon, because at present, navigating your way as a pedestrian on Oslo's sidewalks (where many of these scooters are driven) is like walking out onto a crowded highway with cars speeding past you on all sides. You risk your life, and at the very least, you risk major injury. There are a number of pedestrians who have been injured by them already. As I wrote on my Facebook page last night:
I fully support these new rules, because the halfwits who cause the chaos described in the article are a danger to others and to themselves. Additionally, you cannot walk one block in this city now without coming across an electric scooter that is parked smack in the middle of the sidewalk, which is an indication of the appalling lack of respect for others that is rampant in society now. There is absolutely no thought given to the blind, the handicapped, the elderly, mothers with baby carriages, and so on. This is what happens when a city does not regulate such things from the start--a gigantic failure on the part of Oslo's city government.
The halfwits who abuse the privilege of driving them drive too fast, drive on the sidewalks, don't stop at traffic lights, don't stop at pedestrian crosswalks, drive them while drunk, and park them anywhere they like, usually in the middle of the sidewalks for reasons that are unfathomable to me. I am sick and tired of the scooters, and sick and tired of the disrespectful halfwits who drive them. I'm not the only one. But I am going to be more verbal about how I feel as time goes on, especially if the new rules are not enforced. Because that is typical for liberal cities like Oslo where anything goes; they make rules that are not enforced. There are not enough police folk to do all the jobs required of them, and fighting major crime has to be the priority, I understand that. But the blatant lack of respect shown by the el-scooter halfwits is part of the problem in a society that is moving toward chaotic circumstances in many things. If they don't get a grip on this problem, they will have lost the battle for many of the other problems that need dealing with.
The el-scooters should be designated 'motor vehicles', just like motorcycles and mopeds. You cannot ride the latter on a sidewalk. There are rules for driving motorcycles and mopeds. Those rules should be extended immediately to el-scooters.
Another aspect of this problem is that el-scooters run on batteries. The Green Party in Oslo pushes all things electric as environmentally friendly. But electric cars for example are not necessarily more environmentally friendly than cars that run on fossil fuels: Are Electric Cars Really Greener? What About Their Batteries? (youmatter.world). Batteries get used up, and what happens to them? Apparently the el-scooter batteries last about a year. Where do the used-up batteries get dumped? Are they recycled by the companies who produce the el-scooters? I envision this as a major problem for the future. I don't pay much attention to the Green Party here in Oslo because they border on extremist. What I do support is reducing the cost of using public transportation to encourage people to use their cars less. I support neighborhood car-sharing as a way of reducing carbon footprints. There are already companies that exist for this purpose.
The irony is that the young people who slavishly follow the Green Party could be the same people who abuse the el-scooters. It wouldn't surprise me at all. They believe that they are right no matter what, and that they can drive where they want and as fast as they want, when they want. For them, car owners are the real enemy. I feel sure that this is used by them as justification for their reckless attitudes and lack of respect. Because why else would a person who is presumably normal, caring and respectful park an el-scooter in the middle of a sidewalk? Possible answers? These people are not normal, caring or respectful, or they are giving Oslo the finger, pure and simple. Take your pick.
