A new poem--Solstice

(Update: this poem is now published in my collection of poems Remnants of the Spirit World, available for purchase on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Remnants-Spirit-World-Paula-Angelis/dp/1495376451/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411126555&sr=1-3&keywords=paula+m+de+angelis)


Mid-winter night of nights

The shortest day of days

Walk into darkness’ might

And leave behind the light

Darkness falls upon the land

A weary world adrift in dream

Awaits return of sunshine’s hand

That stays its course upon the stream

What shadows lie in wait

For simple souls who traipse

Into their world of hate

Locked beyond the gate

Gather round the blazing fire

Hands clasped against the gloom

Fear of what events transpire

Chanting as dark shadows loom

And so the shadows lie

Cast doubt upon fair souls

Where shadows do not tread

Just souls have found their stead

Gather round the blazing fire

That warms dark frozen souls

Gather round the cleansing pyre

That burns to make them whole

The longest night of nights

Turns slowly toward the sun

Moving on to longer days

In the end the battle won

O’er darkness and the shadow life

Creatures retreat behind the gate

The cracks filled in with blessed light

Sealed against the wall of hate

copyright 2013--Solstice

Paula M De Angelis

What Pope Francis said about light, and some other quotes about light

I am inspired by what the new pope focuses on and what he stands for. He is seventy-seven years old, and I only hope that he will live a long time so that the Catholic church can undergo the renewal that it sorely needs. Sometimes when I watch him or read about what he has said, I wonder if we are not witnessing a miracle within an (imperfect) man happening before our eyes. He does not strike me at all as a false person. 

In my post yesterday, I wrote that I wanted to focus in 2014 on lighting one candle as the better way rather than cursing the darkness. It is so easy to get discouraged and to give up. But today at Christmas mass, my heart felt free and released from worry (a seldom occurrence in these days of work stress). My heart felt light, both in the sense of being illuminated but also of being lighter in weight. And then I read the news online that the new pope had called Jesus "the light who brightens the darkness" in his Christmas sermon. And I thought that maybe that's what I felt this morning at mass. 

The pope also said that "there are both bright and dark moments, lights and shadows", and that "if our hearts are closed, if we are dominated by pride, deceit, self-seeking, then darkness falls within us and around us." It all somehow made sense to me in that way when you suddenly 'understand'. And then I thought that I would try to find some other quotes about light, because this morning, for me, it was as though a light switch got turned on again inside of me. And that feeling has not left me today at all. 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

“There is a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in.”  ― Leonard Cohen

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.” ― William Shakespeare

“There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.”

― Bram Stoker

“As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way.”

― Mary Anne Radmacher

“Fear can only grow in darkness. Once you face fear with light, you win.”

― Steve Maraboli

“I've learned recently to love imperfection a lot because it shines such a big light on God's grace. And if someone has grace for you that's when you feel their love the most and they see you for who you are and they love you anyway.”
― Lacey Mosley

“Love is not consolation. It is light.”

― Simone Weil

“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.”

― Oprah Winfrey

“Because I was more often happy for other people, I got to spend more time being happy. And as I saw more light in everybody else, I seemed to have more myself.”

― Victoria Moran

“My first memory is of light -- the brightness of light -- light all around.”

― Georgia O'Keeffe

Wishing you all a joyful Christmas and happy new year

To all those who follow this blog:
A heartfelt wish for a joyful Christmas from A New Yorker in Oslo. I've been writing this blog for three and a half years, and I still look forward to each post that I write. It's not always clear to me what my posts will be about, but I find that a particular theme finds its way to the surface of my consciousness. I can walk around for days with a particular theme as a background process in my mind, and then 'suddenly' I know what to write about. I am fairly certain already that many more of my posts in 2014 will be about my writing or writing in general. I will be publishing my second book of poetry shortly, and will share with you the book cover and information on where to find it. There is no money in writing poetry; there never has been. I know this and will continue to do it anyway. Because even if one person gives me his or her feedback, it's worth it. It's heartening when you know that you have touched someone with your thoughts and feelings in a poem you have written, when that person writes to tell you which poems they liked and why.

My hope for 2014 is that I will be able to remember and follow this saying more often: 'It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness'. This saying was first spoken in public by the founder of Amnesty International--Peter Benenson. For me, it is good motivation for living daily life, with all of its struggles and pitfalls. It's a reminder to try to make a difference in this life, to try to be a good person, to not sit back passively and give in to the darkness, whatever form it may take. I wish all of you a happy 2014.

What I want for Christmas

• A different and better diagnosis for a dear friend whose doctor gave her a depressing diagnosis in a manner totally unbecoming for a professional—cavalier and unfeeling. My new year’s wish for her doctor? That he spend some time in her shoes to see how it feels to suffer the anxiety of having to wait until the middle of January to hear if he was mistaken or not, because he is no expert and should never have given her any sort of diagnosis in the first place
• To find a way to be with my family and friends in the States so that I don’t have to wait until retirement to see them more
• Better lives for those close to me who have problems maintaining their standards of living, due to circumstances beyond their control
• To find a way to do what I love so that I can quit what I no longer love. I wish that for those I love as well
• That we find and restore balance to our daily lives: work is work, home is home. We need both and we need to find time for both. Work should not usurp the role of family and friends
• That the workplace does not continue to be the church where we worship. That we find our way back to our real churches and turn our backs on the worship of money, greed and competition
• That ‘God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to know the difference’ (Serenity Prayer)

On the journey

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”  Ursula K Le Guin

When I wrote my doctoral thesis back in the late 1990s, I used this quote in the preface. It was quite relevant at the time, since my doctoral work was a long journey toward the PhD degree, which seemed so unattainable at times. Especially during the difficult times in the lab, when things were not going well or taking too long, or when my articles were rejected and sent back to me. When I finally reached my goal, I realized that much of the enjoyment in pursuing a goal is in fact the journey toward it. I realized that the lab work, no matter how difficult or frustrating, was part and parcel of the entire experience. You don’t get to be a full-fledged scientist without dealing with frustration, long hours in the lab, difficulties, crying fits, wanting to give up, waking up the next day and feeling ok again and wanting to start anew. Pursuing a doctorate is a difficult experience; it’s a challenge that you are not likely to forget the rest of your life. I see that in some of the students I have advised during the past decade; they struggled, some hit the wall temporarily, but they kept going in spite of setbacks. One or two were whiz kids and managed to finish in three years what it took others six years to achieve. We all have a different road to follow. If it takes you longer than it takes another, then it does. That’s your journey. Sometimes, it’s what we learn along the way in terms of patience, tenacity, faith, hope, and camaraderie that keeps us going. You learn that ‘no man is an island’; that your fellow students and/or co-workers are there for mutual support. That complaining is part of life and work, but that solving problems instead of complaining is preferable. Life is a long journey for most of us, if we're lucky; there is no point in kvetching continually. The fact remains that life really is not fair; it doesn’t always go the way we want it to. But sometimes it does, and goals get achieved. And part of the journey in this life is taking the time to enjoy those achievements, to look at them and say, I did this, yippee. We need sometimes to pat ourselves on the back and say ‘job well-done’, before we start on the next journey toward a new goal. Because that’s a reality of life too. We are never done, we are never satisfied; we are perpetually meeting the next challenge. Each decade has its challenges and goals, I see that more clearly now than when I was younger. It became even clearer this past weekend when I was together with several elderly women, all of whom are in their 80s; their journeys continue—the challenges are different—most of them have to do with the vagaries of old age—but they remain journeyers. They remain interested in the world around them, they are social, kind, patient with themselves and others; they have achieved a certain wisdom that comes from a long life journey. They are my role models.     

A new poem

Dance--reflections

Dancing my way to air

Gulping in the light

Making my way upstairs

Leaving behind the night

Dancing my life to find

That which I feel as true

Life as a walk in the blind

Love as a part of the hue

Colors abound about me

Circling over my head

Lights to guide my way through

Whispering where to tread

copyright 2013 Paula M De Angelis

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Christmas trees everywhere! Or at least it seems like that. Each year, it seems that people start to get ready for Christmas earlier than the previous year. I wonder if that’s true or if it’s just my impression. All I know is that the major shopping centers, malls and department stores here in Oslo have had their Christmas decorations up since mid-November. I can understand the attraction, actually. It’s such a nice time of year, such a warm season in all respects, so why not start to prepare for it already in November? It’s not just about buying gifts; it’s about the experience of preparing for Christmas, and it seems that others feel the same way. It’s fun to go to the mall stores and people-watch; people are busy and preoccupied, but it’s not a stressful feeling. Store salespeople are very friendly and charming; of course they want to sell you something, but I do get the feeling that they are in the spirit as well. ‘Be of good cheer’. It seems that most people are this year. I am as well.

We are putting up our Christmas tree next weekend. In the meantime, I am decorating the house for the holidays, wrapping gifts, making lists and ‘checking them twice’ (actually much more than twice), writing Christmas cards (I still like writing my own cards and mailing them, even though I do send more e-cards now). There’s something about making myself a cup of gløgg, a warm spiced drink with cinnamon, cardamom, cloves and ginger to which you can add raisins, slivered almonds, and red wine or strong liquor (it is in fact called mulled wine, although I drink it without the wine), and sitting down to write cards. For those of you who want to know more about gløgg, I refer you to this link that has a recipe for it: http://goscandinavia.about.com/od/restaurantsdining/r/gloggrecipe.htm. I usually buy gløgg ready-made as a concentrate, add water to it and heat it until it is warm.

I will be making and freezing gingerbread dough this week for cookies; making gingerbread cookies (‘pepperkaker’ in Norwegian) is a tradition that my stepdaughter and I try to maintain each year. I also want to make molasses spice cookies this year, and I think it would be fun one year to make a plum pudding, which was one of the Christmas desserts that I grew up with. If I have time this year, I will try it, as I have a good recipe for it. My mother served it each year (it was imported from England and we usually bought it at Macy’s department store) accompanied by a rum-flavored white sauce. We also grew up with panettone, an Italian sweet cake made with candied orange, citron, and lemon zest, as well as raisins; it too was bought at Macy’s. How I used to love shopping there at Christmastime! Here in Oslo, I can find both at the Glasmagasinet department store, as well as at the more high-end delicatessens that import a lot of different goods from other European countries. So yes, I am looking forward to the culinary journeys that await us, the traditions that define Christmas for me (an interesting blend of American, Italian, English, and Norwegian/Scandinavian), and the time to truly enjoy the season. And finally, I recommend checking out an online Advent calendar that is just a treat for children and adults alike—the Edwardian Advent Calendar. You’ll find it here at http://www.jacquielawson.com/gift-shop. Enjoy!

The beautiful English carol 'Tomorrow shall be my dancing day'

We attended an Advent concert yesterday, which was very nice--always a special way to usher in the Advent season. The choir sang this traditional English carol, which made such an impression on me that I wanted to share it with you. Beautiful to listen to. Ingegjerd Bagøien Moe was the soloist, and Uno Alexander Vesje the harpist who accompanied her; they were wonderful, as was the rest of the Tryllefløytene choir.

I went on YouTube to see if I could find the song, and happened upon a number of different renditions of it. This rendition particularly touched me, since it's a children's choir that performs it. I'm including the lyrics as well. The choir does not sing all of the verses; none of the different renditions seem to. Enjoy!

TOMORROW SHALL BE MY DANCING DAY  

Tomorrow shall be my dancing day;

I would my true love did so chance

To see the legend of my play,

To call my true love to my dance;

Chorus

Sing, oh! my love, oh! my love, my love, my love,

This have I done for my true love

Then was I born of a virgin pure,

Of her I took fleshly substance

Thus was I knit to man's nature

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

In a manger laid, and wrapped I was

So very poor, this was my chance

Betwixt an ox and a silly poor ass

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

Then afterwards baptized I was;

The Holy Ghost on me did glance,

My Father’s voice heard from above,

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

Into the desert I was led,

Where I fasted without substance;

The Devil bade me make stones my bread,

To have me break my true love's dance. Chorus

The Jews on me they made great suit,

And with me made great variance,

Because they loved darkness rather than light,

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

For thirty pence Judas me sold,

His covetousness for to advance:

Mark whom I kiss, the same do hold!

The same is he shall lead the dance. Chorus

Before Pilate the Jews me brought,

Where Barabbas had deliverance;

They scourged me and set me at nought,

Judged me to die to lead the dance. Chorus

Then on the cross hanged I was,

Where a spear my heart did glance;

There issued forth both water and blood,

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

Then down to hell I took my way

For my true love's deliverance,

And rose again on the third day,

Up to my true love and the dance. Chorus

Then up to heaven I did ascend,

Where now I dwell in sure substance

On the right hand of God, that man

May come unto the general dance. Chorus

(written for St. Paul's by the English composer John Gardner)