Limiting the power of self-limiting beliefs over us

Is being happy an emotional option, something we can choose to be in our daily lives? If so, why don’t we choose to be happy more often? The answer may be a bit more surprising than you might think. How we choose to respond to a specific situation that happens to us or around us has to do with our belief system--about ourselves and the world around us. We may not even be fully aware of these beliefs (conscious of their presence) or of the impact they have on our lives. That is the premise of a short and unassuming book I read last week that led me to start thinking about the beliefs that I grew up with and that may still affect my present life and the choices I make. It is not the events of ordinary life per se that make us unhappy or that cause our unhappiness, rather it is how we choose to respond to them based on the beliefs that we have about ourselves that lead to un-happiness, as the author of Emotional Options, Mandy Evans, puts it. Un-happiness is the opposite of happiness--the state of not being happy. This definition suggests the idea of choice or the idea of a switch; that one could perhaps choose to switch on happiness and switch off un-happiness. It suggests that happiness is an option, a choice that we exercise to use or not to use. So that much of what happens in our ordinary lives—love, friendships, workplace interactions, and so forth—do not in and of themselves make us happy or unhappy. Yes, love can disappear or end; yes, friendships can disintegrate or we can be betrayed or deeply disappointed; yes, workplace interactions can be difficult or downright impossible leading us to feel like failures. The author’s point is that bad things happen to good people; you cannot escape or prevent that fact. Sickness and death happen, for example, betrayal and divorce likewise. The list goes on. How we respond to the bad things that happen to us is a choice that we make, even if we are not really aware of the fact that we are choosing. Our choices will make us happy or un-happy. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? When I first read this, I thought, I’ve heard this before in various guises. It’s not uncommon to hear from the self-help world that you can choose to be happy. But after thinking about it, I realized that it’s not very common to hear that un-happiness, or the state of being un-happy, is the result of some rather limiting beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. And it is those beliefs that are difficult to confront and subsequently change or root out. Some of those beliefs have seeped into our subconscious minds after years of hearing them repeated—by parents, teachers, authority figures, sometimes even partners/friends, and finally by ourselves to ourselves.

Mandy Evans points out that we all have a belief system—some of those beliefs we are aware of, others we are unaware of. Some of those beliefs are self-defeating beliefs (Mandy’s words), and take the following forms: waiting for happiness beliefs (many people experience this, I call it the IF ONLY way of living—I’ll be happy if only I become successful, rich, if I get even, get promoted, etc. Many people live for the future and if you asked them whether they are happy in the here and now, they wouldn’t know how to answer, because they are so focused on future happiness); events control your feelings beliefs; beliefs about anger; beliefs about changing circumstances; life-extinguishing beliefs; beliefs about punishment. And if a society believes in the value of punishment, we can find ourselves burdened with dealing with the following: the chiding inner monologue (you’re no good, you’re a fake, you don’t deserve success or happiness. How many of us can honestly say we don’t feel that way sometimes? Most women I know do, including myself, and believe me, it’s not easy to deliver a lecture about your work and feel that way when you step up to the podium); verbal abuse directed at someone else; physical abuse; torture and death. She defines happiness as emotional freedom. How do we get there? That’s what this book should help you with—getting there. And when you arrive there, it should be able to help you stay there, because there’s always the possibility of slipping backwards. We don’t live in a perfect world, so we will never achieve perfection of the self. But if we confront ourselves when we think in black and white rigid ways, or when we are afraid, anxious, depressed or defeatist, picking up this book, reading it through and asking ourselves the questions it poses can help. I bought a Kindle version of the book, and have already highlighted many passages. It will help me find those sections that I might want to re-read at a future point when I need a pep talk. Because I admit it, I need pep talks. My inner voices are not always kind to me. I wish I knew where they came from. I feel sure that some of them are a direct result of our upbringing in the 1970s: it was not a good thing to be proud, assertive, boastful, too smart, too good-looking, too free, too anything. Like the ‘jantelov’ in Norway (you should never think that you are ‘someone’ or that you are better than anyone else), some of the ways we woman were encouraged to behave when we were growing up were downright detrimental to our self-esteem and held many of us down, or kept us in our ‘places’. But isn’t it the case that we chose to stay in our places, or that it is easier to blame men or bad bosses or ungrateful friends for what has become of us in life? The fact remains that there are unenlightened men who want to hold women down or keep them out of the upper echelons of power, and there are bad bosses. What we do with these situations, how we respond to them, is what ultimately leads us to happiness or un-happiness. I don't have to be unkind or get angry in order to deal with them; it's a choice. I have to admit that I have reacted angrily to situations that may have worked out better had I not done so. Emotional freedom; for me--not wasting energy on people and issues that drain me and suck the life out of me (emotional vampirism). Not being angry at myself and others for things I haven't been clear about up until now. Who knew emotional freedom (how you yourself define it) could be so important for our well-being? The author states clearly that she doubts that beliefs govern all of our feelings. But she knows for certain that what you believe plays a strong and overlooked role in everything you feel. So if you ‘believe’ that you should listen yet once more to an emotional vampire, or accept psychological abuse at the hands of a bad boss—in other words, if you believe that you should be a victim—you will choose to be one. It makes sense to me.

Happy 17th of May to Norway

Today, May 17th, is Norway's Constitution Day and an official national holiday. In 1814, the Constitution of Norway, declaring Norway to be an independent nation, was signed on May 17th in the city of Eidsvoll. I've written a bit about the national holiday before; it is a day filled with celebrations of all kinds, from party breakfasts to parades to school events to barbecues to sit-down dinners. I don't think I've ever seen as many flags waving as fly on this day--on buses, taxis, balconies--overall.

And the Oslo downtown area around midday is packed with people all wanting to
see the parade that marches past the Royal Palace, where the King and Queen and other members of the royal family stand on the balcony and wave to the passing marchers. How they're dressed and what hats are worn (by the women and the men) are always commented upon in the media that day and the following day.

When I first came to Norway, my husband and I would often walk down into town to watch the parade, buy a hot-dog and an ice cream, and wander around for a few hours, especially if the weather was sunny and nice. It was always enjoyable to be among the groups of folk milling about. There was definitely a feeling of electricity and energy in the air. Nowadays we watch the parade on TV for a while, and then go out to eat an early dinner. This year, as in previous years, we will find our way to Morten's Kro, where the food (many traditional dishes) is always good. I wrote about Morten's Kro in this blog already three years ago (http://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.no/2010/05/independence-day.html).

All that's left is to wish my Norwegian family and friends a Happy 17th of May! I leave you with a photo of the flowers I bought yesterday--festive with their red, white and blue colors and a little flag ribbon, followed by a photo of the Norwegian flag that I found on internet.

Meetings--the socially acceptable alternative to working

Someone hung up a rather humorous poster on one of the bulletin boards at work; I found it too good not to share. The wording is in Norwegian, so I translated it, and it hasn’t lost any of its humor. Very fitting end to a busy work week. Enjoy. I don't know who the author is or who created the poster, but if and when I find out I will update this post.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you lonely?

Do you hate making decisions?

Would you rather talk than get things done?

Why not SCHEDULE A MEETING?

You can:

·         Meet other people

·         Doze off in familiar surroundings

·         Postpone decisions

·         Take copious amounts of useless notes

·         Feel important

·         Impress and/or bore your colleagues

Do all this on company time!

MEETINGS—The Socially Acceptable Alternative to Working

(Federal Public Service Information)

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I have to admit that I find this hysterically funny, mostly because it’s true. So many meetings are unproductive excuses to waste time. I prefer to avoid them as much as possible, unless there is a specific agenda, they are infrequent, and they last no longer than one hour. In my experience, only about twenty-five percent of workplace meetings actually end up being productive, in the sense that a question is asked/answered or a problem discussed/solved. Too often, meetings end with the agreement to schedule yet another meeting to discuss things further. To be fair, meetings are only as successful as the planning that goes into them.

Workplaces schedule meetings to discuss all sorts of things: who is entitled to an office and/or a higher salary, budget priorities, project planning, end-of-year meetings to discuss employee performance. The list is endless. Meeting leaders have to know when to rein in a discussion, when to tell those who enjoy digressing to cut it out, when to sum up what has been discussed and when to end a meeting. The worst types of meetings in my experience are those that are called to discuss how to proceed with large unwieldy projects that are too big for their own good. Meaning, too many people are involved in planning them and planning how other people are going to do the work; meanwhile, there are too few hands to do the work. In other words, too many chiefs and not enough Indians. Those types of projects inevitably ‘require’ progress reports. Is the project going somewhere? Has there been progression? The answer is often no, more times than not. These types of waste-of-time projects and associated meetings were more common a decade ago, and were tedious.

Workplaces these days are often complicated places, top-heavy with administrators who love meetings, or so it seems. It also seems to me that leaders spend most of their time going to meetings; that seems to be part of the job description. I often wonder how they stay awake, how they are able to follow the threads of discussions and how they are able to switch gears and go from one meeting to another. And then there are the meetings to discuss problems (e.g. with personnel) that are fruitless because the problems cannot be solved no matter how much they are discussed. Other times decisions are reversed because they were not good ones in the first place. Ironically, workplaces have become unstable environments in constant flux; the one constant is that you can look forward to a meeting being scheduled for tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Count on it.

A new poem

Plato’s dream

Being born

From nothing

Taking form

Now something

Outside space and time

Perfection of the Forms

Acquiring a body

Changes rules and norms

Seeking back to birth

Time before in space

Seeking back to earth

Before the fall from grace

5 May 2013

copyright Paula Mary De Angelis

This poem is part of a collection that I will be publishing later on this year. 

The ever-growing world of apps and the QR Droid

The old idiom, ’you learn something new every day’, is true. The older I get, the more there is to learn every day, not less. The world of computers, smart phones, tablets, e-books and a myriad of other new gadgets ensure that this is the case. The advances and updates keep me quite occupied in my free time. The world of ‘apps’ by itself is overwhelming. I’m always rather surprised at how many apps there are out there whenever I use my smart phone to download yet another free app. New ones every day—some of them useful, others not. But I downloaded a rather useful app today, the QR Droid, after having been to the Astrup Fearnley Museum of Modern Art here in Oslo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astrup_Fearnley_Museum_of_Modern_Art) for the first time since it opened in its new location at Tjuvholmen on the Oslo waterfront. My husband and I went to see an exhibition called Untitled Horrors by the American photographer Cindy Sherman. Fascinating exhibit, well-worth seeing, sometimes bizarre, often unsettling, overall mesmerizing. What I noticed as I was walking past the photos was that many of the photo descriptions included a quick response (QR) code, and that some spectators were using their smart phones to scan the codes that then connected them to an online site that provided information about the photographs. Very smart, as it obviated the need for museum headsets that provide the same thing; at least that is what I assume was the case, since I didn't have the necessary app on my smart phone to try this at the museum. The museum provided free Wifi and a passkey on the entrance tickets. I’ve seen these QR codes many times before, but somehow had not gotten around to wanting to understand their utility until now. Although I have registered that shopping discounts and coupons are available for those who can use this system. Perhaps not completely fair to unenlightened shoppers, but there will be fewer of them as time goes on. The QR Droid app, besides allowing your phone to read a QR code, also lets you create one. I’m not sure yet how that would be personally useful, but I’m sure it won’t take me long to find out. I just checked out some customer reviews of this app, and one of them mentioned using it to create a QR business card. Others mentioned using it for web links and contact details. I see the potential. As I said when I started today’s post, you learn something new every day. That’s what makes life interesting. 

As an addendum to this post, I just tried creating a QR code for my blog, A New Yorker in Oslo, and it worked. Here is the QR code for those of you who would like to try it:

Using social networks

I read an article the other day that indicated that Facebook's popularity was waning, especially among younger people. That doesn’t surprise me; what surprises me is that the level of interest in any social network is sustainable for more than five years, given the short attention spans we have developed for most things technological or IT-related. It’s the nature of the beast; something better is always going to come along eventually and supplant the king of the jungle. I suppose that’s the way it should be; at least that’s been the name of the game for as long as I can remember.

I use the social networks Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, and I use them for different purposes. I think most people might say the same. It’s a conscious decision on my part to keep them separate from each other. Facebook is my way of keeping in touch with friends and family in the USA, and to some extent, here in Europe. You’d be surprised at how difficult it’s become to get people who live only a town or two away from Oslo, together in one room for a social event. Planning an evening out with three or more people has become a major affair; it’s often easier to update each other on what’s going on via Facebook. So instead of writing five emails a week to friends, I update my status on Facebook several times per week, but not on a daily basis.  So Facebook is for personal use. I use Twitter for professional purposes; I follow most science-related sites; the list grows ever longer. I am now following sites that have to do with politics and government, and find them interesting as well. Not surprising perhaps, when you understand the importance of politics in the creation of policies for how science should be made understandable and relevant for the public (e.g. climate change, global warming, science education in schools, sustainable energy sources). When I started off using Twitter, I wasn’t sure what it might be good for, and I didn’t understand why people sang its praises. Now I know. It’s an amazing way of getting news as it happens. Science publishers like Nature and Science have discovered this; they need only post a short tweet as to what the new hot article is on their websites and in their journals and they’re guaranteed that interested readers will read their tweets and click on the relevant links. New scientific discoveries and interesting new articles spread like wildfire. So I use Twitter to stay updated on what is going on in my field, as well as in science generally. I even credit Twitter with getting me interested in astronomy. You need only follow NASA on Twitter (https://twitter.com/NASA) to understand why. If I had been better in math, I might have been an astronomer, the field is that interesting. Daily Science is another site I follow; you can find them here: https://twitter.com/DailyScienceUp. Guardian Science is another favorite; you can find them here: https://twitter.com/guardianscience. And if you’re interested in following me on Twitter, here is the link: https://twitter.com/paulamdeangelis.

Finally, LinkedIn; it doesn’t surprise me at all that potential employers/recruiters utilize this site frequently. I read an article the other day (courtesy of Twitter) that reported that LinkedIn was the social network that most recruiters use (http://www.livescience.com/29178-recruiters-find-job.html?cmpid=514645). What other platform provides CVs, references, and personal/professional interests for potential candidates for employment? Better yet, what other platform provides you with a candidate’s connections, that may be even more interesting (employable) than the actual candidate in question? This network, like Twitter, is reserved for my professional use, and I plan on keeping it that way. I am careful as to whom I include as a connection, as I want to build a network that can be valuable to me professionally. A nice touch is that your connections can write recommendations for you that are published on the site. Potential employers read such things. Your connections can also recommend specific skills, but I find this aspect less useful than an actual written recommendation.

How things have changed during the past ten years. In that sense, who knows what the next ten years will bring? One thing is certain; there is a new social network or platform just waiting in the wings, whether you like it or not, or whether the current social networks like it or not. That’s the nature of the beast.

Stream of consciousness at April’s end

Needing sun desperately needing warmth needing to see thermometer rise tired of cold tired of aches pains back muscles spring new season goodbye winter freezing my office ventilation blowing cold air too much thinking about vacation summer planning need to plan call people arrange dates new york missing always about now need a dose buying home summer warmth familiar expat life one foot in each country talking about pensions investments money doctor early retirement work stagnation strange feelings wistful bittersweet uncertainty future twitter updates learning following followers science fun new people online world new book poetry coming new book short stories coming screenplay writer’s block unfinished taking time too much wishing otherwise escaping movies oblivion perfect name movie star trek alien science fiction astronomy fascination one-way trip to mars 40,000 applicants mind-blowing die on mars in space sailing yacht big ocean two people one dead woman cannot navigate rescue top gear fun guys cars trips bantering humor entertaining mind moving thousand miles a minute never resting trying to rest so much to do accomplish challenges fun writing want to succeed leaving behind looking forward always

What cats have taught me

I have been a cat owner for most of my adult life, and have learned a lot from them by watching their behavior in different situations. Unlike dogs, they are quite independent and somewhat antisocial. Or rather, they choose when they want to be social. All of my cats had different personalities. The first two were a mother-daughter pair that came into my life in 1980. The mother, Smoky, was a feisty loner type; her daughter, Mushy (so named because she was so affectionate), was the opposite. She loved being around people, she loved being picked up and hugged, and she didn’t mind at all when the children I babysat for occasionally put doll shoes on all four paws. My husband used to call her a 'non-cat'. She never hissed at or nipped anyone. I don’t think I ever saw her get angry, except at her mother, when they both competed for my attention and affection when I was sitting on the couch relaxing in the evenings. She was an extraordinarily well-rounded cat, and I’ve never had another cat quite like her since. Being social came easy for Mushy, even with other cats, but not with her mother. She tolerated her mother, but not much more. I often wonder if it was because she knew that her mother didn’t really want any involvement at all with other cats or with people generally. She liked to be left alone, and I’m sure that annoyed Mushy at times. I remember when a little kitten joined us a few years later; I named her Minou. Mushy immediately became her ‘mother’, washing her, playing with her, and following her around the house as Minou explored it. Watching her do this endeared her to me completely. Smoky wanted nothing to do with either one of them; she mostly wanted to be left alone, and if Minou bothered her, she hissed at her. Minou quickly learned, and avoided Smoky as much as possible. Unfortunately, she did not live long, succumbing to a feline viral infection, which broke my heart. I am convinced that Mushy had empathy; she was intuitive, she understood in her way if someone was sick or if another animal needed help. She understood that Minou was sick and I think she understood that Minou wasn’t coming home from the veterinary hospital. Smoky remained unaffected by it all. Mushy also understood if I was sick or depressed, and was good company at those times. I loved them both, but it is Mushy’s way of being that I remember all these years later, because I think she was on to something. I remember when I moved in with my friend Cindy several months before I moved to Norway; she had a male cat, Burgoo, who did not take kindly to having his territory invaded. The house that we shared was quite large, but Burgoo made sure that Mushy and Smoky had limited access to most of it. Smoky and Burgoo fought so intensely that we had to physically keep them apart; Smoky ended up living in the basement while Burgoo had the first floor along with Mushy. What surprised me is that Mushy did not engage with Burgoo at all; she understood that he did not want her there, and her body language told him that she accepted that. When she passed him, her head and tail were down in a submissive posture, and she slunk along the floor. He never attacked her or went after her. When she saw me, she was her old self—affectionate and loving. Mushy was mostly adaptable and tolerated change, even though I know it made her anxious at times. As long as she saw me during anxious times, it calmed her. Smoky did not adapt and did not tolerate change. I loved the both of them to pieces, but could not take them with me to Norway, as they would have sat in quarantine for six months or more before being allowed into the country, and I didn’t have the heart to do that to them. Another friend of mine, Judy, was kind enough to take them both; she could tell me some time later that it didn't take Mushy long to become a part of her family, which included a husband, several children, a dog and two other cats. That made me happy; unfortunately, Smoky did not seem to adjust to her new family, disappeared, and did not return, which upset me a lot when I heard about it.

I was thinking about Mushy and Smoky today, because I realize that I have a little bit of both of them in me in response to dealing with major life changes and with a workplace that prizes networking and being socially and politically adaptable. Work environments often reflect societal trends; the emphasis in most workplaces these days is on networking, collaboration, communication, being a team player, and being creative and spontaneous in a group setting, all things that were not emphasized as much in my generation of scientists. We were rather encouraged to be loner types, independent and assertive thinkers, quietly creative, able to defend our ideas, able to work alone and to enjoy being alone. Being an astute assessor of the political landscape around us was not deemed very important. The current emphasis is on interacting and working together with other employees, listening to others, adapting to group dynamics, understanding workplace politics, sharing ideas, taming your individual will, being patient and not being a loner type. Those who succeed in the current workplace are good at these things. I used to think that Mushy would have benefited from learning to take on a challenge and to fight like her mother Smoky, but these days I’ve come to see the value in avoiding or not provoking conflict, maintaining some semblance of peace, trying to adapt to change as best one can, and flying under the radar in difficult times. But it's good to have people in your life (a spouse and/or friend) that you know will be there for you--constants in a life filled with uncertainties--especially during difficult times. 

Little evening bird

Little evening bird

Night sings outside my window

Unafraid of dark

Melancholy sound

Strangely comforting transport

To the past and now

World will ever need

Your constancy and peaceful

River of bird songs

You sing of summer

Arrival of warmth and peace

Bids a soul’s release

copyright Paula M. De Angelis

April 2013

Oblivion and other sci fi films this year

2013 promises to be an interesting year for sci-fi films; Oblivion with Tom Cruise has already opened, and Star Trek Into Darkness and After Earth are opening in May and June respectively (in Norway). I’ll be seeing the latter two when they open. I remember looking forward to the premiere of Prometheus last year around this time. I went to see Oblivion tonight and loved it, in contrast to several of the online reviews that I’ve come across that were mostly negative. The focus of the reviews always seems to end up on Tom Cruise the person, not Tom Cruise the actor. That of course is partially his own fault since he draws attention to himself with his vocal religious beliefs and viewpoints, but as an actor he delivers in this film, and that’s all that matters to me. Did he make the part of Jack Harper--drone repairman, believable, did I root for him, was I stepping onto a post-apocalyptic planet earth along with him, was I accompanying him on his daily visits to the planet to repair the drones, did I feel his confusion and determination, and was I rooting for him to be reunited with his wife Julia? I can answer yes to all these questions. And besides Tom Cruise, there are other good actors and actresses that do their part to make this a memorable film, e.g. Morgan Freeman as Beech, Olga Kurylenko as Julia, and Andrea Riseborough as Victoria. Oblivion is an epic sci-fi film, beautifully photographed with a number of impressive bleak shots of a barren planet earth in rubble, some great action sequences (especially the flying), some evil-looking machines/weapons called drones whose potential for nastiness reminded me of the spider bots in Minority Report from 2002 (another Tom Cruise film) and an ‘alien’ we never really see except as a computer screen image of a human woman named Sally. As the story unfolds, we come to understand that Jack's world is not really what he thinks it is; he is willing to follow his curiosity and to find out what is really going on, whereas his partner Julia, who monitors his daily activity as a drone repairman on the earth's surface, is not.

Oblivion is really about one man’s quest to find himself (after his dreams and memory flashbacks have prompted him to become curious about his past life) and his home in a world destroyed by war and treachery. Oblivion is a great title for this movie--what is it Jack has forgotten, and has Jack been forgotten? I was moved by the portrayal of the importance of the instinctual (primeval) desires we have as humans--to know where we come from, to have a home we call our own, and to have someone to love, or perhaps more importantly, to have someone who knows us, thus saving us from oblivion (being forgotten). Watching the scenes of Jack with his wife Julia (one scene especially where she talks about growing old together, dying and being forgotten by the world) brings us to a wistful place where the belief in the power of love is all-consuming. Real life doesn't always play out this way, but we want it to, no matter how many times it does not. The character of Julia as played by Olga Kurylenko has a non-aggressive quiet way about her that is quite endearing; her sweetness makes a nice contrast to Andrea Riseborough’s Victoria, who is calculating, direct and effective (almost robotic-like) as Jack’s former co-pilot and current team partner who is in love with him. I won’t give away the story or the ending, but I can definitely recommend Oblivion. I also enjoyed the film music; Jack Harper is a Led Zeppelin fan (Ramble On--an appropriate song for parts of this film) and a Procol Harem fan (Whiter Shade of Pale). The film title track is also quite a good song—Oblivion—performed by a group called M.8.3 with Susanna Sundfør. 

Things I didn't know about the Hudson River

I’m reading a very good book about the Hudson River entitled The Hudson: America's River by Frances Dunwell, and it’s been a real eye-opener so far. I’m only about a fifth of the way through the book, and am amazed at what I have learned about the river’s history as well as about American history. The river’s usefulness as a strategic waterway coincides with the early history and development of New York and neighboring states. You might think that I would remember what we were taught as students about the founding and evolution of America, the American Revolution, and the importance of the Hudson River in those occurrences. I cannot remember much emphasis being placed on the importance of the Hudson River by our teachers. The focus was rather on Revolutionary war heroes such as George Washington and the early American presidents, the Constitution, and so forth. As a companion piece to help me when I forget my American history, I purchased Paul S. Boyer’s American History—A Very Short Introduction; in the preface he writes “This brief introduction to the vast topic of U.S. history avoids either an excessively upbeat, rose-tinted approach or an unduly negative one”. That’s exactly the sort of book I want, so I’m looking forward to delving into it. Just give me the facts and let me make up my own mind about what transpired at that time in my country’s history.

Dunwell’s book presents a very complete picture of the historical events at that time as well as interesting facts about the river. So what have I learned so far that I never knew about the Hudson River before? I didn’t know it was a fjord, nor did I know that it was a tidal river. I also didn’t know how many different types of fish there are in the river. It was an important strategic waterway during the American Revolution, for both the British and the Americans. It also has a reputation as a pirate river (!), since the famous pirate Captain Kidd made his home along the Hudson. Here are just a few of the many excerpts from the book that I’ve highlighted: 

• Geologists refer to the Hudson as a fjord—a valley cut by glacial ice, then flooded by the sea.
• The Hudson is a mere 315 miles in length………A traveler from the Hudson’s marshy source, at Lake Tear of the Clouds, to its briny chop in New York Bay can witness the full sweep of American history and ideas and the relationship of people to the environment with which this heritage is so deeply intertwined.
• The Hudson is the last estuary on the East Coast of North America and perhaps in the entire North Atlantic drainage that still retains strong spawning stocks of all its historical fish species.
• …….the river…..welcomes seasonal oceanic visitors: Atlantic sturgeon, American shad, blueback herring, and striped bass.
• Resident fish, like perch, share the river with ocean fish that require fresh or brackish water to spawn—such as alewives, shad, herring, striped bass, and sturgeon.
• On the Hudson, tidewater extends more than 150 miles inland, nearly half of the river’s 315-mile length. Twice a day, the Hudson flows downstream like any other river would do. However, at slack tide, the tidal portion becomes still, and during flood tide, the flow of water actually reverses, moving north.
• The Mohican people called the Hudson Muhheahkunnuk, or Mohicanituck, meaning ‘great waters or sea, which are constantly in motion, either flowing or ebbing’……
• During the decades that the Dutch claimed the river as the central waterway of their colony (1609-1664), they emerged as the world’s leading sea power…….
• The reputation of the Hudson as a pirate river would become deeply imprinted with the story of Captain Kidd. …..Captain Kidd, a respected Manhattan sea captain who had a history of trading with pirates and knew where to find them. Kidd set sail from New York in 1696 and headed for Madagascar, the gathering place of pirates, but he soon turned to piracy himself……..Kidd and his crew raided many merchant ships…….On the island of Santo Domingo, Kidd left the Quedah Merchant and purchased a small sloop, which he filled with gold and jewels before setting off for his home port on the Hudson. However, Lord Bellomont, one of the investors in Kidd’s mission, turned the captain in when he landed at Boston and sent him to England to stand trial. Kidd was hanged in England in 1701. The fate of Kidd’s treasure remains a mystery.

I’ll be adding to this list from time to time, as I come further in the book. Needless to say, I’m enjoying learning about this river that was a major part of my growing up. We spent hours as teenagers walking around the estates that overlook the river--Rockwood Estate and Lyndhurst, or going to the beach at Kingsland Point in North Tarrytown (now Sleepy Hollow). I’m including a photo I took of the river when I visited the West Point Military Academy in the summer of 2011 together with my sister Renata and her husband Tim. It will give you an idea of how lovely the river and its surroundings really are.

Goodbye Showtime

Showtime in Bjerregaards gate, Oslo, closed its doors tonight after more than fifteen years in the video rental business. I cannot remember when they were not there, so that tells me it’s a long time ago that they opened their doors for the first time to movie lovers like me. They’ve been running a ‘going out of business’ sale for the past week; all their DVDs, Blu-Ray videos, candy, microwave popcorn, Pringles potato chips and other snacks were on sale with huge percentage markdowns. I got a text message from them this past week telling me that they were going out of business and that they would have a sale all week; I stopped in tonight, mostly to say goodbye to the store and to deal with my mixed feelings about its closing. I asked the young woman behind the counter why they were closing; she said because they were running a deficit. They simply don’t turn enough profit. And that’s the death knell these days. Nobody keeps a store open when it’s operating in the red.

The store, which was rather large, never made much out of itself, and that was one of the reasons I liked it. It probably could have used a bit of renovation; it could have been a tad trendier. No matter. I liked it as it was, somewhat organized, somewhat messy. You could always find the new films--the top 10 films; you might have to search for some of the older films you wanted, but it was fun to do so, like going through bookshelves in a library trying to find a specific book or author, and discovering something else along the way, like some long-forgotten horror film from the early 1990s. I enjoyed talking to the people who worked there; sometimes they recommended films (like Exit through the Gift Shop—about Thierry Guetta and Banksy, the street artist), other times we briefly discussed films we had seen. Stopping in to Showtime was something I often did on Sunday evenings after I had attended mass; I would walk up the hill in Ullevålsveien, make the right onto Waldemar Thranes gate, and there it was, right next door to the pharmacy. I would often rent three films at one time and purchase some candy or other snack to enjoy during film viewing. I will miss that little routine on Sunday evenings; I almost asked the young woman tonight—what am I going to do now without you? She looked unhappy, probably about as unhappy as I did. I feel sad about their closing. I’m not always so fond of change, especially when it impacts on what I love doing —watching movies. I don’t think it will be easy to find another such store in our residential vicinity; I have a feeling that this closing is a portent of things to come—that most such stores will be closing their doors eventually. Many major cable TV companies offer online video services now, and there are any number of companies that have sprung up to provide that service if your cable TV provider doesn’t. If you have an internet connection, you can download whatever film you’d like to see without paying a fortune. If you own a tablet of any sort, you can download films for viewing onto your iPad or similar. So why would you want to physically walk into a store and rent a film?

I guess my answer would be that I don’t want to spend my entire life in an online world. I am on a computer each day from early morning until late afternoon for work purposes: emails, Google searches, reading journal articles, writing journal articles, visiting scientific sites—the list is long. Many hours are spent online each week. It’s a limited way of living in the world, even though the internet exposes you to a huge amount of information. I feel constrained at times when I am online. So I like actually walking into a video rental store and perusing the shelves, trying to find a film I’d like to watch. I suppose people will point out to me that you are really doing the same thing when you are on Netflix or other online video services; you’re checking out their ‘film library shelves’. I guess that’s true, but I will still miss being able to physically pick up a film DVD and turn it over to read about the film on the back cover, deciding to rent it, buying some candy on my way out, and looking forward to watching the films when I get home. Goodbye Showtime, and thanks for many enjoyable years.

(For those of you who read Norwegian, here is a link with three reviews of this store. It's nice to see that others also had pleasant experiences dealing with Showtime: http://www.yelp.no/biz/showtime-oslo)

Daily news

Reading daily news

Since year’s start dire statistics

The future is here

Bumblebees dying

Climate changes severe storms

A new century

Filled with new changes

Unsure how they will impact

Just sure that they will

Bees disappearing

Pollination a problem

Global food problems

Arctic ice melting

Rapidly gone in few years

All oceans rising

Water to the air

More storms tornadoes

More rain more drought land dying

Bird flu pandemic

Virus mutates coming years

Fast spread to humans

Advent of new time

On earth our home our planet

How will we survive

Take seriously

The warnings dire real enough

Where to go from here

copyright Paula M. De Angelis

April 2013

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Just to give you an idea of the types of articles I've read recently that inspired this poem: 

1. Millions face starvation as world warms, say scientists http://www.guardian.co.uk/global-development/2013/apr/13/climate-change-millions-starvation-scientists?CMP=twt_gu
2. Arctic Nearly Free of Summer Sea Ice During First Half of 21st Century, Experts Predict http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130412142848.htm
3. Why Jim Hansen stopped being a government scientist http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/2013/04/12/why-jim-hansen-stopped-being-a-government-scientist-video/
4. Skeptical science http://www.skepticalscience.com/
5. Pesticides definitively linked to bee colony collapse http://www.anh-usa.org/pesticides-definitively-linked-to-bee-colony-collapse/
6. A Common Pesticide Decreases Foraging Success and Survival in Honey Bees http://www.sciencemag.org/content/336/6079/348.abstract
7. Neonicotinoid Pesticide Reduces Bumble Bee Colony Growth and Queen Production http://www.sciencemag.org/content/336/6079/351.abstract
8. Silent hives http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/comment/2012/04/new-studies-colony-collapse-disorder.html
9. Total Buzz Kill: Metals in Flowers May Play Role in Bumblebee Decline http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130402152432.htm#.UVs6x29BPR4.twitter
10. Could New Flu Spark Global Flu Pandemic? New Bird Flu Strain Seen Adapting to Mammals, Humans http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130412192402.htm
11. New flu in China reveals its avian origins http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/349613/description/New_flu_in_China_reveals_its_avian_origins

Celebration dinner party

Last week my stepdaughter successfully defended her PhD (http://www.mn.uio.no/farmasi/forskning/aktuelt/arrangementer/disputaser/2013/Sammendrag-Stokke.pdf), and a dinner party was held in her honor at her mother's house--a celebration of a goal achieved! A pleasant evening with family, friends and colleagues, good food and wine, and nice weather. Not too much more you could ask for.......

Weighing in on women and leadership

There is a new book out called Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg. I have not read the book; I may do so at some point. I did read the recent Time magazine article about her and her book; she graced the front cover of the magazine and the headline accompanying her picture read ‘Don’t hate her because she’s successful’. The article about her was well-written, but points out some of the anomalies that one will always find in the lives of the truly successful. I agree with much of what Ms. Sandberg says about being efficient and ‘ruthlessly prioritizing’ in terms of dealing with the many challenges the workplace throws at you; I disagree with her on other points. No matter. She is a good example of a successful woman leader in the business world, and more power to her. But she got to that place with help; as she says herself in the article, ‘I was hugely lucky, and that explains most of my success.......just like every man'. Indeed she was, to know some of the enlightened men she knows, who were not afraid to head-hunt her to specific jobs or use their clout to get her on board. And therein lies the rub, at least for me. You don’t get anywhere in life without support and help from others. Call them whatever you want—sponsors, mentors, advisers. You need them in order to rise in whatever hierarchical workplace or organization you find yourself. Unfortunately there are not enough of them to go around; even if there were, the current way of doing things focuses on finding the best candidate in any branch and grooming him (or her—perhaps less often) for a top position. I would argue that this perpetuates an elitist system; I am not necessarily opposed to that. However, the ramifications of this type of system are that not everyone can be a leader. Even those who are qualified to be leaders may find that they are pushed aside in favor of another; that happens to both qualified men and women. I know just as many men as women who were pushed aside or ignored in favor of ‘better’ candidates. You can of course question whether those other candidates are ‘better’. Much of the time it’s ‘who you know’, not ‘what you know’ that gets you ahead. And the 'who you know' is what comes from networking, which not all qualified candidates master.

Sandberg argues in the article that women prepare for other things in life—getting married and raising a family—and thus do not follow (or choose to not follow) opportunities to move vertically, thus narrowing their chances of getting closer to the boardroom. So that by the time they actually have children, they are not even in the running for consideration for a leadership position. When I was younger, I used to wonder about this too, except that my generation grew up thinking we could have it all, that we could find time for it all, and that we would have complete lives in the process. It was a myth and it was painful to let go of it. Men and women compromise and make choices all the time not to pursue specific avenues in order to make their lives work; we cannot have it all. But it is no surprise to me that self-help books about how to have it all are still best-sellers. We want to believe the hype. Reality is something else altogether.

That is one consideration. The other considerations have to do with how women are treated in the workforce. I know many women who followed the opportunities that came their way, only to encounter unenlightened male leaders who held them down, ignored them, or pushed them aside in favor of male candidates. Gender bias is nothing new. I remember an interesting story reported in the media from a few years ago about a Swedish man who held a high position in a personnel department in a big company. He admitted that he tossed most of the resumes from female applicants into the waste basket, and had done so for most of his work life. He was married with a family. When he reached middle-age, it suddenly dawned on him that his daughter, who was now in her early twenties and entering the workforce, might encounter the same type of treatment that he had been dishing out to other women for years. Bing—a light went on in his head, and he became an enlightened man, but only when he understood that if his daughter encountered his type of behavior in her own attempts to rise in her career, that it would harm her chances of succeeding in the work world. I have tried to find the story online but failed. But the long-term effects of this type of behavior may be what we may be seeing now in the business world, as Ms. Sandberg points out—many women assume that they will only come so far and no further, so they reach a certain level and stop there. They resign themselves to (without necessarily accepting it) the (often covert) gender bias in the work world in order to be able to do their work well and to have some modicum of peace in their lives. It is very stressful to try to fight or to change unfairness; more power to those who try. It is my contention that change comes via example, and that perhaps it is best to start small. The only way to get women interested in taking leadership positions is to set an example for them as a woman leader; if you actually maneuver your way through the system and manage to get to the top, you should mentor and/or sponsor other women. Women should be helping other women at the top levels; I haven’t seen much of this, unfortunately, at least in academia.

But perhaps there are other aspects that must be considered in these discussions. Perhaps younger women (and men) are re-evaluating what they want out of life, searching for new definitions of success, and looking for ways to live simpler, less stressful lives. Because that is one thing I noticed in the article about Sandberg; she goes home each day from Facebook (where she works) at 5:30 pm to be with her family—to eat dinner and such—and then returns to the office later that evening. This is simply not possible for most employees, many of whom commute long distances to and from work; and even if it was, is it desirable? There are so many articles about employees who must be constantly available to their workplaces via computer and smart phones. Aren’t they allowed to have a life outside of work, whether or not they have families? If you are single, you also need down-time from work. Are you a better employee if you are always working? Is it so important to be available 24/7? I think the answer is no, but it is unpopular to say so.