Back in the USA

Back in the USA during the first two weeks of September. My traveling plans this time around included visits with friends I haven’t seen in years. My first visit was with an old college friend, Cindy, whom I met many years ago in the modern dance class we took together. We became friends and ended up choreographing several dances for the end-of-year recitals that were open to the public. She and her husband have visited us in Oslo, but that’s a while ago now. We toured the JP Morgan library in Manhattan (she wanted to visit the library because she, like many tourists there the day we visited, had read the two recent books about Morgan's personal librarian, a woman named Belle da Costa Greene, who happened to be a black woman). After we visited the library, we walked to the High Line so that she could experience it, and then we went to see The Vessel, which is a unique and beautiful artistic structure located on the west side of Manhattan. We walked at least five miles that day in 93 degree F heat. It was good to get back to our hotel (the lovely Warwick Hotel) to relax and cool off. 

After I said goodbye to Cindy at Penn Station in Manhattan, I took an Amtrak train to Boston to visit my theology professor from Fordham University who just happens to be a (semi-retired from teaching but not from writing) Jesuit priest. He is in his early eighties, is living in the Boston suburbs at a retirement home, and is as intellectually active as ever. I stayed in a very pleasant guest room at the center (they have accommodations for guests), attended a 6:30 am mass in the center’s chapel together with many elderly priests (a very touching experience), and otherwise enjoyed some really rewarding conversations with my former teacher. I had so many questions for him, and surprisingly, he had some for me as well. I realized that there is more that unites us in this life than divides us. He chose a different path (no marriage and family) but an interesting one. As I get older, I am more curious about my faith, not less, and he answered some of my questions. It was good to see him after all these years. We have kept in touch by letters and emails for many years, but hadn’t seen each other until now, and I don’t know if I will see him again.

From Boston, I traveled onward by bus to Albany NY where my friend Maria lives. Jean drove up from Westchester, and we spent the weekend together, hanging out, talking, and eating well. We managed a trip to Herkimer to take a boat trip on the Erie Canal, something that I’ve always wanted to do, especially after I watched the NY Adventure Club’s virtual lecture about the history of the canal. I’ve written about that in previous posts (A New Yorker in Oslo: The Erie Canal: A Story of Building the Impossible--a New York Adventure Club webinar (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com) and A New Yorker in Oslo: The film--The Farmer Takes A Wife, from 1935 (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com). 

Jean and I returned to her house for a couple of days, which I always look forward to; her house is like my second home and she is like family to me. I met her two new grandchildren for the second time, which was very nice. She and I met up with a biology teacher from our high school who is in her early eighties and who has dyed her short close-cropped hair a muted shade of purple. I don’t remember her as being a funny woman, but she is. We met for lunch in NJ together with another friend, Stef, who also attended the same high school (Our Lady of Victory in Dobbs Ferry NY).

From there I drove onward to the Milford PA area to get together with my sister Renata and her husband Tim. We enjoyed some nice days together just relaxing, and then I drove back to the Westchester area to visit my friend Gisele for an afternoon. She is unfortunately quite ill and tires easily. But it was wonderful to see her.

This has been my traveling year; my hoped-for goal was to visit with friends whom I’ve not seen in a while, and I've managed to do that. In December, I will meet up with another friend, Haika, whom I haven’t seen since 2010. We're planning to meet in Dresden Germany in order to visit the Striezelmarkt Christmas market there. It’s apparently the oldest one in Europe (Dresdner Striezelmarkt (dresden.de). I'm looking forward to experiencing it with her, as she's wanted to visit this market for quite a long time. 

I'm enjoying my travels here and there and want to do more traveling in Europe as well as the USA. I’m always amazed by the vastness of the USA and how things really do function fairly well in spite of that vastness. Some people tell me they are now content to stay in one place and not travel. Perhaps I will say that in ten years or so, but not now. 

September update on the weather and the garden

Weatherwise, this summer will go down in history as one of the worst since I moved here. It started off well in June, with sunny days and warm temperatures. The garden needed to be watered nearly every day, and the vegetables that I planted (pumpkin, zucchini, carrots, tomatoes and string beans) got off to a good start. Then came July, when all it did was rain. It was as though a gray cloud of bad weather settled in over Oslo. The statistics speak for themselves; it rained 22 of the 31 days in July in Oslo, and the 9 dry days were overcast with the sun peeking through every now and then. August wasn't much different, unfortunately; I don't have the stats for how many days it rained in August, but it must have rivaled July.

Today, September 4th, was a real summer day, sunny and warm with temperatures close to 80 degrees F. It was the first day that I wore a summer dress and went bare-legged. It was a pleasure to feel the warm sun on my skin and to walk along the boardwalk on the fjord this evening. I looked out over the water and could see the warm haze in the distance. That's how summer should be. We ate dinner at a seafood restaurant called Solsiden (Solsiden Restaurant); it's open only for the summer season. It was a perfect evening to be there. 

The garden decided to call it quits in early August and started preparing for autumn. The pumpkins ended up being quite small; there were five of them but none of them were larger than about four to five pounds. They were turning orange already at the end of July. The string bean plants stopped producing beans at the end of July. The tomato and cucumber plants did not do well in all the rain; the cucumbers were deformed and most of the tomatoes rotted on the vines. The potatoes were fine, likewise the zucchinis, which didn't seem to mind the lack of sun and warmth. The carrots were stubby. But all the berry bushes produced a lot of berries this year, including the blackberry bush. So we have a freezer full of different berries--black currants, red currants, blackberries, raspberries, and gooseberries. The blueberry bushes however did not produce any berries this year, and I'm not sure why. 

Each year in the garden is a revelation and a surprise; you learn something new each year and you never quite know how the gardening season will develop. This year it started off well, plateaued early, and faded out early. I'm hoping for a better summer weatherwise next year. 

Wise words from Donna Ashworth

10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME

1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realize that is the day you really start to live.

2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.

3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.

4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.

5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.

6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.

7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.

8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.

9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.

10. Always, always, drink the good champagne and use the things you keep for ‘best’. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift, that’s why we call it the present. Eat, Drink & Be Merry.

Donna Ashworth

Quotes about letting go

The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it. --Carl Jung

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. --Hermann Hesse

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. --Eckhart Tolle

Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity, and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow. --Tony Schwartz

Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. --Gail Sheehy

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. --Raymond Lindquist

The world belongs to those who let go.  --Tao Te Ching

Everything I read about hitting a midlife crisis was true. I had such a struggle letting go of youthful things and learning how to exist and have enthusiasm while settling into the comfort of an older age. --David Bowie

Forgiveness means letting go of the past. --Gerald Jampolsky

For me, every single thing I do seems to be about the process of letting go because that's what I so desperately need to do with so many things: with fear, with what people think of me, and all these things I've worried about my whole life. --John Grant

There's a victory in letting go of your expectations. --Mike White

I think that what I have been truly searching for as a person, as a writer, as a thinker, as a daughter, is freedom. That is my mission. A sense of liberty, the liberty that comes not only from self-awareness but also from letting go of many things. Many things that weigh us down. --Jhumpa Lahiri

When you feel stuck in a hard time, jump-start a pro-change attitude by letting go of possessions that no longer work for you - like old clothes and old shoes. --Karen Salmansohn

Being deeply contented with God in my everyday life is a focused attitude. It is always available. It means practicing letting go of my obsession with how I'm doing. It means training myself to learn to actually be present with people, and seeking to love them. --John Ortberg

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. --Henry David Thoreau

 

Random reflections and observations

Politics. We're heading into a new presidential race that unsurprisingly enough feels like a repeat of four years ago. Biden versus Trump, unless each party comes up with a better candidate to represent them. I wish both men would retire quietly, without a lot of fanfare and chest beating, and leave the arena to new and younger blood. Although promising at one time, De Santis just doesn't make the grade; he seems like a mini-Trump sans the bravado and in-your-face aggressiveness. But he pales in Trump's shadow. If Trump wasn't in the picture, maybe he'd have half a chance. But I don't think he has what it takes to be president. Neither does Trump, for that matter. I cannot understand why anyone still supports Trump, but I've given up trying to figure people out. He's a national embarrassment and I can say that; I live abroad and I see the reactions of the European media to him. No one can figure out the Trump supporters. Many theories have been advanced as to why they support him, but there doesn't seem to be one defining thing that makes them like him. It's actually a bit scary. 

Society. I saw a meme on Facebook today "Forget world peace, just try visualizing using your turn signal when driving". That's about where it is for me. I suppose we need to aim high--world peace--but at this point, I'd settle for a return to common courtesy and common sense in society. It seems that the world is mired in greed, lack of ethics, lack of empathy, lack of respect, and lack of common sense. I see it every day here in Oslo. The rudeness in society is appalling; bicyclists who don't stop for pedestrians in the crosswalks, but who suddenly stop for no good reason in the bike lanes, causing those behind them to brake suddenly. One day there is going to be a major accident involving many cyclists. Bicyclists here are as thoughtless as many car drivers, but we're always hearing about how rude car drivers are, never how rude bicyclists are. That's because the Green Party here has to push its message, which is to bike in any and all circumstances. "Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail" should prevent the good Oslo citizen from biking. It borders on ridiculous. It's like the Green Party has forgotten that winter in this country is a good five to six months long. I don't understand their point of view and I never will. Some construction projects take years to plan, finalize and complete. Not so with bike paths; they are constructed and finished before you have the chance to take a breath. When they want something, nothing stands in their way--that's the motto of the Green Party. I have no problems with biking; I've been biking my entire life, since I was a child. But I won't bike in the wintertime, and I don't need fascist propaganda telling me to do just that. And as an 83-year old friend of mine recently commented--not everyone can or is able to bike, regardless of age. She's right. 

Religion. I attend mass on Saturday evenings/Sunday mornings hoping to find some peace and quiet that are conducive to contemplation and prayer. Not to be had. No matter what (purportedly sans music) mass I attend, the priest insists on singing some part of the mass. Unfortunately, about half of the priests who say mass cannot sing to save their lives, so it's both painful and irritating to listen to them. I stand in the pew and pray that my irritation dissipates, but it's a bit sad to find myself in that position at mass. I don't want to be thinking about my irritation at something that could be solved easily--just have one mass for those people who don't want priests and/or the congregation singing at them, who don't want to sing the entire mass or even parts of it. Just have a quiet mass, for heaven's sake. Is that too much to ask?

Friendship. In the final analysis, friendship is defined for me by who is there for you in good times and in bad. I have a small circle of lifelong friends without whom I couldn't imagine my life. They are in my heart forever. The rest are just acquaintances or work friends, and with a few exceptions, I cannot rely on them to be there for me. It's always been that way, but now that I'm retired, I see it more clearly. They do not prioritize getting together; they prioritize work and more work, anything that furthers the work cause. Now that I no longer work, we have less in common. If one relies on these types of people for friendship, one will be quite lonely. I don't, but I acknowledge the strangeness and clarity of it all. But suddenly, when they want to get together, they expect you to dance to their tune; they decide the time and place, you show up. Not all of them behave that way, of course. But accommodating their schedules doesn't work for me anymore. I used to do that, but no longer. My schedule is just as important as theirs, perhaps more so, because I have plenty to do now that I'm retired. They don't think so, however. So these types of relationships will eventually fade away. As will many other things, since life is about letting go.

Getting older. That leads me to the final observation--getting older means getting tougher in all ways. I'm simply not interested in wasting my time on people, situations, books, films, series etc. that give me nothing, that don't inspire me, that don't make my life better. I don't want to waste time doing things that I don't want to do, and that includes spending time with people who are sometimes nice and sometimes not. I want to spend time with people whose moods are for the most part stable, who are kind at heart, who have Christian values, and who are not rude or aggressive or passive-aggressive, or who try to gaslight you (as in, they never said or meant this or that, but they did say it and they did mean it). I want to spend time with people who are as interested in my life and what I'm doing as I am in theirs. I want to spend time with people with whom I can have a real and meaningful conversation. There is so little of the latter; it truly surprises me that more people don't miss having good conversations. I miss my parents and my brother, who were people I loved and with whom I could converse. Our times together were real, likewise our conversations. 

It's A Long Way There (Remastered 2022) by the Little River Band

We heard this song recently and I thought maybe it was a CSNY song mostly due to the wonderful harmony and guitar work, but it's not. It was released in 1976 by the Australian band Little River Band. 

It's A Long Way There

Hey, everybody, yeah, don't you feel that there's something

People on their own are getting nowhere

I'm on the road to see

If anything is anywhere or waiting, just for me

Every night I walk around the city

Seems like I'll never know

That feeling of being together when I go

And it's a long way there

It's a long way to where I'm going

And it's a long way there

It's a long way to where I'm going

Hey, everybody, don't you feel that there's something

But you know in a moment it is gone

I live for the day when I can hear people saying

That they know and they care for everyone

But I feel like I've been here for the whole of my life

Never knowing home

It's a long way, it's a long, long, long way there

I'm gonna keep on tryin', I'm gonna keep on tryin', yeah

I'm gonna keep on tryin', keep on tryin'

Been away from home for such a long time

And got to know this town

But I don't seem to matter much to anyone who's around

Is there anybody around

Every night I walk around the city

Seems like I'll never know

The feeling of being together when I go

And it's a long way there

It's a long way to where I'm going

And it's a long way there

It's a long way to where I'm going

Everybody knows it's a long way there

Oh, everybody knows it's a long way there

Mmm, it's a long way

Driving around's kind of getting me down and I know, and I know

It's a long long way there

It's such a long long way, long way

Hey, everybody, yeah, don't you feel that there's something

Feel it, feel it

Hey, everybody, yeah, don't you feel that there's something

Brighton and Dover--photos

Brighton beach houses 

Brighton and the sea

Brighton Beach Pier

view of Brighton from Brighton Pier

the upside-down house on the beach in Brighton

what remains of the West Pier after its destruction by 2002 storms and 2003 fires 

a very old church in Dover 

Dover Castle 

the White Cliffs of Dover 

Elle King - Jersey Giant

I've heard this song a few times lately, and I really like it. Elle King has a really good voice, and the song has a nostalgic feel to it. Tyler Childers wrote it. Enjoy. 

Jersey Giant 

I remember all them summers
Playing 'til my fingers bled
You'd sing the songs and I'd sing with you
We'd get drunk and go to bed

Looking back at all them memories
Lord, I hate to sleep alone
But if you ever get the notion
That you need me, let me know

'Cause it's just two hours to get there, babe
I can make it back about an hour or so
Hold you close against my skin
I need a little warmth on a night so cold
Singing songs you used to sing
The one about the lady in the long black veil
Should have seen the warnings signs
But Lord, I love to hear you wail
High and lonesome, hard and strong
Even if it was a little out of tune
Hotter than socks on a jersey giant
Lord, I thought you hung the moon

Lord, I thought you hung the moon

I remember all them winters
Drinking Woodford 'til we drowned
We'd get wind about a party
Bundle up and go to town

Never worry 'bout the police
Never worried much at all
I miss those nights of reckless glory
And I'd come back if you'd just call

'Cause it's just two hours to get there, babe
I can make it back about an hour or so
Hold you close against my skin
I need a little warmth on a night so cold
Singing songs you used to sing
The one about the lady in the long black veil
Should have seen the warnings signs
But Lord, I love to hear you wail
High and lonesome, hard and strong
Even if it was a little out of tune
Hotter than socks on a jersey giant
Lord, I thought you hung the moon

I left town when we were over
'Cause it didn't feel the same
Every backroad had a memory
And every memory yelled your name

'Cause it's just two hours to get there, babe
I can make it back about an hour or so
Hold you close against my skin
I need a little warmth on a night so cold
Singing songs you used to sing
The one about the lady in the long black veil
Should have seen the warnings signs
But Lord, I love to hear you wail
High and lonesome, hard and strong
Even if it was a little out of tune
Hotter than socks on a jersey giant
Lord, I thought you hung the moon

Lord, I thought you hung the moon

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tyler Childers

Jersey Giant lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Talk Talk - It's My Life (Official Video)

It's My Life

Funny how I find myself in love with you

If I could buy my reasoning I'd pay to lose

One half won't do

I've asked myself, how much do you

Commit yourself

It's my life, don't you forget

It's my life, it never ends (It never ends)

Funny how I blind myself, I never knew

If I was sometimes played upon, afraid to lose

I'd tell myself, what good you do

Convince myself

It's my life, don't you forget

It's my life, it never ends (It never ends)

I've asked myself, how much do you

Commit yourself?

It's my life, don't you forget

Caught in the crowd, it never ends

It's my life, don't you forget

Caught in the crowd, it never ends

It's my life, don't you forget

Caught in the crowd, it never ends

Songwriters: Mark David Hollis / Timothy Alan Friese-greene

It’s My Life lyrics © Hollis Songs Ltd.

Released 1984

-------------------------------------

I heard this song tonight when I was driving home. I loved it when it came out and I love it still. I also like the version that No Doubt did as well. But the original is the best. Haunting in its own way. 

How you can change your world and the world around you

For all those who start their day by complaining--stop. Just stop. When you wake up, thank God for another day, get out of bed, and be glad that the only thing you have to deal with is a few minor aches and pains. Because that is not the case for a good number of people I know, who have different types of cancer of varying stages. Some will survive and some will not. They impress me with their will to just keep going, no matter what. They don't complain, or if they do, they do it privately. I know other people who have/had neurological diseases (multiple sclerosis, progressive parasupranuclear palsy, multiple systemic atrophy) that have taken/will take their lives. It's a slow gradual decline for most of them; they lose the ability to walk, to be mobile generally, to use their hands, to talk, to hold their heads up. It's terrible to watch people we love suffer in this way. I remember them each day and pray for them, as I try to do for all those I know who are seriously ill. 

Show real respect for others. Listen. Don't interrupt others at every turn. Give your undivided attention to a child who wants your attention, likewise to an adult who wants the same. We all want to be noticed by others, to be valued and confirmed by others. As Mother Teresa said, charity and love begin at home. What does it profit the world if we help the needy on the street and turn our backs on or ignore those who are closest to us? Don't yell at others or shout them down. Don't belittle others. Too many people do this, thinking that if they raise their voices, they will be heard better. Don't insist on being right all the time, even if you know you are. LET IT GO. What difference does it make if you were correct about some unimportant thing? Were the consequences dire? Most likely they weren't. But we love to be right, to feel that we are better than others. Sometimes we are glad that we 'win' over others. But at what cost? Because if we constantly belittle others, they pay it forward by belittling others, to get rid of that bad feeling they have about themselves. Guaranteed, if you feel bad about yourself, you will try to make others feel bad about themselves as well. It's human nature and is often the first response unless you remember that a higher power is looking out for you, so that you know you are loved and valued.

Don't derive your self esteem or your sense of happiness from social media, television, or any other technology that seeks to suck most of your waking hours from you. Put them in their place. Use them wisely, but let them go otherwise. They are not important. They are a source of entertainment, but there are many ways (perhaps better ways) to enjoy yourself. Read a good book or magazine, read something that inspires you to be a better person. Read. Think about what you read. Write about what you're thinking about and feeling, if you are so inclined. Share what you write with others if you are so inclined. Write a card or a letter to someone who would like to hear from you. Pick up the phone and make a call to someone who would like to hear from you.  

Believe in something larger than yourself--a higher power. It will give you perspective about yourself, a perspective that is sorely lacking in today's world. Find a religion, go to a church. Find yourself a  congregation, a group of people who share your beliefs. Keep it simple. Don't expect answers to the mysteries of life and death. Just BE, in the company of others. It is immensely comforting. 

Don't set out to change the world. Change yourself. As has been said before, be the change you want to see in others. If you change yourself, if you treat others with respect and kindness, it WILL make a difference in the world. Kindness and love are energies that induce the same in others, in the same way that unkindness and disrespect do. There is too much of the latter in the world. There has been a loss of personal boundaries that has led to a catastrophic disrespect for others, mostly due to social media and the hatred that is found there. I am appalled at times by the hatred I find there. I have begun to literally and figuratively walk away from all that is negative, destructive, or too dark because it brings the world closer to a hellish existence that benefits no one. 

Updates on my blog--A New Yorker in Oslo and on my book--A Town and A Valley: Growing Up in Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley

Last month this blog had almost 41,000 visitors, most of them Americans. That is the highest number of visitors ever; I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of visitors. Thank you to everyone who has checked out the blog, read a few posts, and enjoyed what they've read. I've been told by several people that it's not possible to leave a comment on the individual posts; that's not true. If you'd like to leave a comment, you can. Please do, I enjoy hearing from readers. 

My book, A Town and A Valley--Growing Up in Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley, was purchased by the Warner Library in Tarrytown and can be found in the Local History section. It has also been purchased by the Historical Society in Tarrytown. For those readers who would like to know more about the area of New York State where I was born and where I grew up, the book might be of interest to you. It can be purchased on Amazon: 

A Town and A Valley: Growing Up in Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley: De Angelis, Paula Mary: 9798842022946: Amazon.com: Books

and also on Barnes & Noble: 

A Town and A Valley: Growing Up in Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley by Paula Mary De Angelis, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Portsmouth, Salisbury, and the Isle of Wight--photos

 

where we stayed in Portsmouth

Portsmouth harbor area 

the Bridge Tavern and the famous Spinnaker Tower to the right

Portsmouth harbor area

the HMS Warrior in Portsmouth Harbor 

Salisbury Cathedral

Ryde Pier on the Isle of Wight

scenic view on the Isle of Wight

the Isle of Wight has its own white cliffs

scenic view on the Isle of Wight

scenic view on the Isle of Wight

Traveling along the southeast coast of England

We've always wanted to tour the southeast coast of England after having watched some tv shows that detailed different train trips along this coast, and decided to do the trip by car rather than train at the beginning of July. We planned it such that once we arrived in Portsmouth, we would travel along the coastal roads (basically route 259) to Brighton and Dover. Our start point was Oslo; we took the overnight car ferry from Oslo to Kiel, drove westward through Germany into the Netherlands (Holland) to Rotterdam, where we took the overnight car ferry from Hook of Holland (Stena Brittanica) to Harwich UK. From there we drove to Portsmouth where we stayed at the Red Lion inn/pub for three nights. We then drove onward to Brighton, where we stayed at the King's Hotel for two nights, and then we drove along the coastal road to Hastings where we stopped at the First In, Last Out pub for lunch. We then drove onward to Dover where we stayed at the Royal Oak inn/pub for two nights. Our trip back to Norway was via the Eurotunnel in Folkestone and then a long drive through Germany up to Kiel, where we took the overnight car ferry back to Oslo. 

We explored Portsmouth the first day we were there; our hotel location was right across the street from the bus connection to the downtown. Portsmouth is an old port city with a long naval history; it has been a major Royal Navy dockyard and base since the 12th century, and is known for the Portsmouth Historic Dockyard. We walked quite a bit around the downtown part of the city, as we always do when we come to new places, and then headed out toward the harbor area, where we ate lunch and walked along the harbor boardwalk. The ferries that travel to the Isle of Wight leave from this area, and we decided to take the catamaran out to the Isle of Wight on one of the days we were there. The Isle of Wight is such a beautiful place, well-worth visiting; we took a bus tour around a good portion of the island. On another day, we took a trip to Salisbury to see the old cathedral there, and then to Bath so that we could visit the Roman Baths (I've seen them but my husband had not). Unfortunately the city was inundated with tourists and the wait to get into the baths was around two hours, so we opted not to do the tour. But it was a gorgeous day in England so we weren't that disappointed. 

We then drove on to Brighton, where we stayed for two nights. The day we arrived, we walked for miles around the city, along the beachfront and then into the city itself. My husband took a swim in the ocean; the water was fairly warm. The beach is not composed of sand, but of fine water-worn pebbles. Unfortunately, it was extremely painful to walk on them (at least for me) as I discovered when I walked down to the water's edge, so I ended up sitting on the beach watching my husband swim. We ate lunch and dinner at Pinello's restaurant (very good Italian food), a restaurant very near the hotel. The following day we took a bus tour around the city, which was smart because it rained that day and we were inside the bus when the torrential rains hit. But they didn't last long and when we got off the bus we walked along the Brighton Palace Pier, which is a type of amusement park on the pier, with arcades, shops, casinos, rides, cafes and deck chairs. Fun to see, but mostly for the younger crowd. Again we ate dinner at Pinello's and met a young couple (Darren and Jasmine) and their three children. It was nice to talk to them and we traded contact info on the off chance that they visit Oslo at some point. 

The following day we drove along the coastal road to Hastings where we had a great pub lunch at the First In, Last Out pub (of Foyle's War fame according to my husband). We then drove on to Dover where we stayed two nights. The first day we walked around the area of Dover where the hotel was; there was a very lovely park/garden nearby called Kearsney Parks/Russell Gardens that we spent some time in walking around. The following day we visited Dover Castle and the White Cliffs of Dover, both of which were impressive in their own ways. 

I will post some photos of our trip in my next post. We very much enjoyed this trip and look forward to returning to England in a few years to visit Cornwall and the southwest coast. 

Here is the map of our travels: 

Time as a wheel with spokes

Time is a strange thing. We experience it as linear, as a continual forward progression, and in a major sense it is. But it also seems circular to me--like a wheel with spokes. My experience with time is that it can be all-encompassing; it surrounds me, as though I am in the center of a circle from which spokes radiate out. At the end of those spokes are specific experiences that envelope me. The straight lines that are those spokes are the chronological events leading to those ends. But they could just as well be wavy spokes, or spokes with spikes poking out every which way. The spikes could be detours along the way or interesting experiences in and of themselves, leading to the ends. I think more and more that time is circular; that the individual experiences of each individual person are connected, that they radiate out from a center (the person in question) but that they meet and form the wheel of time that defines one person's life. The spikes may stick out in all directions from the spokes; they may be long or short. In this way we can interact with others during our lives. 

I wondered if others have pondered this view of time, so I googled 'time as a wheel with spokes' and the first link that was returned was the 'Wheel of Time' on Wikipedia (Wheel of time - Wikipedia). Apparently a number of religions subscribe to the concept of time as cyclical, including Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism, and Buddhism. But I didn't really find any discussion of spokes and spikes. It seems to me that as we age, we accumulate more spokes, so that eventually the spokes begin to interact with each other, begin to touch each other, begin to crowd each other. Perhaps the spikes from each spoke meet the spikes from the other spokes and form 'ladders'. Perhaps that explains the feeling of being enveloped, of being surrounded by multiple experiences. Perhaps this is what is meant by the feeling that we have coexistent 'parallel lives'; not lives at all, but parallel experiences that eventually interact with each other or join each other. In this way, time seems to be more fluid. At least it doesn't feel solid to me; I don't experience it that way. 

I am curious (and always have been) about time because sometimes I experience what I call  'the ache across time'. The ache across time is the knowledge that somewhere out there is an experience of time that has touched us deeply, that has passed, that will never come again, but one that we remember perfectly. It is an ache for what will never come again in exactly that way--be it times together with loved ones, the experience of the beauty of the natural world, or a book or song that touches us. The ache is a part of us, ingrained in our time memory. We remember those times and experiences as though they happened yesterday. The spikes on our wheel spokes have interacted with the spikes of other people, floating in the vast expanse of the universe. Perhaps our wheels have attached to them via the spikes and become entangled. 

I like this view of time. It's intensely personal but interpersonal as well. It can account for that feeling of parallel lives, and can be modified to suit different situations. I asked Bing's AI chatbot to draw me a wheel with spokes that have spikes, but it really didn't return a satisfactory drawing. It did return four actual photos of wheels with spokes, but no spikes attached to the spokes. I'll have to work on drawing one myself. I'm not sure how the people in my life view time or if they reflect on it at all; I've had some interesting discussions with my husband about time some years ago, but mostly in regard to how time is viewed according to the theory of general relativity, which is not at all my forte. I think it's interesting, but I hit the wall immediately when I tried to understand the mathematics underlying the principles of physics. I am more comfortable residing in the realm of sci-fi and fantasy where such things are concerned. 

Morning games

I have a certain daily routine that I follow for the most part when I get up each day. There's breakfast to be made and eaten and washing-up afterward, and all of the other odd household chores that nag at me for my attention. But when they're done and I have some time to myself, I sit down with my laptop and open Wordle; after Wordle come Spelling Bee, Digits, and finally Connections. These games are all found under the Games section of The New York Times, for which I have a digital subscription. I have become a devotee of these games and look forward to new ones each day. Wordle is an online word game in which players are given six attempts to guess a five-letter word. Everyone has heard about Wordle; Josh Wardle, who created it for his partner, sold it to The New York Times for a low-seven figure sum. There are Wordle chat forums and AI chatbots that will analyze your moves for you after you have finished. Spelling Bee is a word puzzle game that challenges players to form words using a set of seven letters; these letters are arranged in a honeycomb with the center letter highlighted in yellow. The center letter must be used in all words formed and all words must be four letters or more. The game offers Hints to players, informing them of how many total words there are for that day, how many pangrams, and what the first letters are for the words in question. It would be a much more difficult game without the Hints, but of course that's the challenge. Even with the Hints, it can be a tough nut to crack. So there is something about reaching the rank of 'Genius' in Spelling Bee that floats my boat, likewise for Digits, a daily math puzzle game where you can use any combination of numbers to reach the target number. There are five daily target numbers to reach. It's fun and challenging and not as easy as one might think. And finally there is the game Connections (currently in beta form); it presents players with sixteen words that have to be grouped into four groups according to similarity/commonality, e.g. names of colleges or types of vegetables. 

I've learned that the best thing to do when I get stuck at any point is to take a break and come back after an hour or so. For some reason that always helps. Apparently there are millions of people each day who play these games and I understand why. They're fun, and they draw on one's vocabulary and/or ability to be brain-flexible. Sometimes I find myself really 'reaching' to come up with words in Spelling Bee or Wordle, but that's the fun part--meeting the challenge.