End of August garden update

We've gone from an extremely warm summer, with temperatures around 85 degrees F (very unusual for Norway) back to a usual Norwegian summer, with temperatures around 70 degrees. It didn't rain much during the months of June or July, which resulted in a long hot dry spell, but once August arrived, it began to rain again. It feels more like autumn now, but the weather forecast is still predicting temperatures around 70 degrees and more sunny summer days. We'll see. In any case, the vegetable/fruit garden is nearing the end of the growing season. We've harvested most of the berries (some blackberries remain), and mini-cucumbers and tomatoes are still ripening on the vines. The pumpkins are finished, but not harvested as of yet. The remaining ears of corn are still on the stalks but have not increased much in size, so my guess is that they won't amount to much. I've harvested about six ears of corn so far and they were fairly good; still too small though, with an average taste, similar to the previous two years. I love watching the corn plants grow, but I wish the corn had that fantastic taste that I love. Maybe I need to try another type of corn.

My experience as a kitchen gardener after three years of planting has taught me that I can safely plant corn, pumpkins, mini-cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes, snap peas, and several kinds of green beans. I get good harvests from them all. Artichoke plants don't do well, no matter what I do. I planted watermelon seeds this year for the first time, and they grew and spread out as vines (much like the pumpkins), but only began to flower about two weeks ago, so there won't be enough time for them to produce melons. Black currants, red currants, raspberries, strawberries and gooseberries grow very well. And this year, we had a good number of blackberries from the bush I planted in the spring of 2016.

My experience with the flower garden for three seasons has taught me that perennials are the way to go if you want to save yourself a lot of work (and save your back as well). I have invested a fair amount of money in perennials, and I hope it will pay off in the coming years. I have planted four hydrangeas, two peonies, a butterfly bush, a lot of lavender, foxglove (Digitalis purpurea), two types of coneflowers (Echinacea--the Norwegians call it 'solhatt'), three different color alum roots or coral bells (Heuchera), a beautiful reddish-brown ninebark (Physocarpus opulifolius Diable D'Or), a lovely reddish-brown wood sorrel (Oxalis), an Astilbe plant (also called false goat's beard), a Hebe Wild Romance shrub, a lily plant, and several types of irises. I've also planted one more rose bush, and two silver ragwort plants--also known as silver dust Dusty Miller (Jacobaea maritima)--not really true perennials. The white climbing rose bushes that I planted on either side of the garden arch have taken off; one of them has reached the top of the arch and I am now trying to weave the branches into the arch itself so that they grow into and around it. They have attached themselves well enough to the arch; during a recent intense wind storm, they kept the top part of the arch from being pulled off the rest of the arch, so that was good to see.

Being a kitchen and flower gardener is one thing; being a farmer is quite another. I've always had respect for farmers, but I have renewed respect for them when I see how dependent they are on good weather for a good harvest. This year was not easy for them in Norway due to the drought conditions. If you depend upon farming for your livelihood, it's a tough life. Irrigating a large farm is nothing like watering a medium-sized garden; in drought conditions, it must border on impossible. I am grateful for the harvest of vegetables and fruit that we got this year, and grateful for the beauty that the flowers bring to our lives. I am grateful simply for the fact that the universe blessed me with a garden at this stage in my life.

The wisdom of Thomas Merton

I'm sharing some quotes by Thomas Merton, an American Trappist monk who spent a good portion of his life exploring world religions: Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Jainism and Sufism. His wisdom is reflected in the quotes I have chosen to post today.

• A life is either all spiritual or not spiritual at all. No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire.
• When ambition ends, happiness begins.
• Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul.
• Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.
• We stumble and fall constantly even when we are most enlightened. But when we are in true spiritual darkness, we do not even know that we have fallen.
• Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.
• We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.
• Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it.
• We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have - for their usefulness.
• The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another.
• We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.
• In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own life and for 'finding himself.' If he persists in shifting his responsibility to somebody else, he fails to find out the meaning of his own existence.
• If you want to study the social and political history of modern nations, study hell.
• To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.
• The very contradictions in my life are in some ways signs of God's mercy to me.

Some of my favorite spiritual writers

Faith and religion are two different things; the latter is an organized attempt to systematize and support the former, but it is my contention that a strong faith will outlast religion in the long run. My father had a strong faith in God, and fed it with spiritual literature, some of it by Catholic writers. He shared that interest with me, and I have read many of the books he recommended. Some of his favorite authors (and now mine) are Francois Mauriac, Georges Bernanos, Evelyn Waugh, C.S.Lewis, Thomas Hardy, Thomas Merton, and Willa Cather. He also was a fan of Graham Greene and G.K. Chesterton, but I have not read their books as of yet. All of the books I've read by these writers have left an indelible impression on me. They made me think and reflect on many of life's situations, problems and (often-tragic) outcomes. Not all of them are directly spiritual in tone (inspirational); some of them are heart-wrenching, others witty, still others poignant and spiritually-challenging. The books are all excellent in their own right, and worth reading.

Francois Mauriac's books:

• The Viper's Tangle
• The Desert of Love
• Therese
• A Woman of Pharisees

Georges Bernanos books:

• The Diary of a Country Priest

Evelyn Waugh's books:

• Brideshead Revisited
• A Handful of Dust

C.S. Lewis' books:

• The Screwtape Letters
• Mere Christianity
• A Grief Observed
• Surprised by Joy
• The Four Loves
• The Problem of Pain

Thomas Hardy's books:

• Jude the Obscure
• Tess of the d'Urbervilles
• Far from the Madding Crowd
• The Mayor of Casterbridge
• The Return of the Native
• The Go-Between

Thomas Merton's books:

• No Man is an Island
• Thoughts in Solitude
• Wisdom of the Desert

Willa Cather's books:

• Death Comes for the Archbishop
• My Antonia

Pope Francis and clericalism in the Church

Excellent opinion piece from The New York Times article: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/20/opinion/pope-francis-catholic-church-sex-abuse.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=opinion-c-col-right-region&region=opinion-c-col-right-region&WT.nav=opinion-c-col-right-region)


Here is an excerpt from the above article--very relevant to the Church's current problems.......

In closed-door meetings on the eve of the conclave that elected him in March 2013, Pope Francis — then Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires — gave a brief, powerful address in which he said the church needed to open up or risk becoming “self-referential” and “sick” with “theological narcissism” that leads to the worst evil, the “spiritual worldliness” of an institution that is “living in itself, of itself, for itself.”

The church, he was saying, had to undergo a moment of kenosis, of self-emptying, like Christ on the cross, surrendering power and prestige and privilege in order to truly become what she is called to be.

As pope, he has saved his harshest rhetoric for his fellow clerics, especially the cardinals and bishops, criticizing them as “careerists” and “airport bishops” who spend more time flying around the world than tending their flock.

“Clericalism is a perversion of the church,” Pope Francis told 70,000 young Italian Catholics at a rally this month. “The church without testimony is only smoke.”

Pope Francis’ vision of the church is clearly more radical than the defensive posture of John Paul or the nostalgic traditionalism of Benedict. But is he willing and able to implement it?

One Catholic’s reflections on the sexual abuse scandal in the Church

Who knew? Who the hell knew that the Church, that bastion of all that was good and right and ethical and moral (or so we were told as children), would turn out to need a complete overhaul? Who knew that behind its closed doors, priests were behaving as criminals? No, not all of them, but enough of them to make me sit up and take notice, become angry, and demand change as of this week. When we were growing up, we would never have imagined in a million years that priests would be carrying on with young boys and girls in ways that literally make you sick to your stomach. When I read the recent article in The New York Times this past week about the grand jury’s report investigating abuse in six dioceses over a period of 70 years (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/14/us/catholic-priests-pennsylvania-church-jury.html), I was horrified. And then something inside of me snapped. Like in so many other areas of my life, I simply do not want to tolerate bad behavior anymore. I won’t have it. I don’t want to be lied to, dissembled to, promised to, or cajoled. I have previously done so, and will continue to, cut off people who behave badly toward me. It’s that simple. They get the short shrift. No more second chances. And that philosophy now extends to the Church. I have given the Church a lot of my time over the years; I have attended mass faithfully, and have defended the Church when I felt it was unfairly attacked. And when I was a teenager, I worked church Bingo, in addition to being a church receptionist part-time, answering phones and writing out mass cards for parishioners. I also helped the cook at the rectory serve dinner to the priests, and cleaned up the dining room and their living room afterward. I saw a lot and registered it for posterity. I see now that they were nothing more than men, human, frail, weak, and lonely. They drank, many of them heavily, they smoked a lot, and they ate too much. They were decent men, the ones I knew, with one exception (a priest who was much too interested in my sex life at that time). Many of them did not stay the course; they met women in the course of their daily life, and left the Church to marry them and raise families. I understood then why they left, and I understand it even more now.

I want change in the Church, and I want it now. I want clarity, openness, honesty, and ethical behavior. I want an end to a patriarchal, male-only culture that thrives on power, prestige, secrecy, and on keeping women out. The criminal pedophile priests were allowed to do what they wanted to do, unimpeded by the law. Had they not been priests and been discovered, they would have ended up in jail. But not in the Church; pedophile priests were merely moved to other dioceses in other states, so they could start the pattern of abuse all over again. Their abusive and criminal behavior was played down by bishops and Church leaders, lied about, and covered up. The sheer arrogance, the 'we are above the law' attitude, is mind-boggling. You need only read the above article to get the full picture. Just the fact that the Church is paying out huge sums of money to the victims of these crimes, is witness enough to the magnitude of the crimes. But how many lives did these priests destroy? How many? Even one life is too much. Parents trusted priests, children likewise. Parents even encouraged their sons to become priests--that is how revered the Church was in some families. The Church could do no wrong, and of course, when that attitude becomes prevalent, it is only a matter of time before the opposite is a matter of fact.

I want priests to be able to marry, I want the vow of celibacy to be voluntary, I want women to be able to become priests, and I want pedophile priests to be prosecuted as the criminals they are. I don’t want to listen to more promises, more speeches, more 'all talk and no action'. If the Church won’t institute some of these changes, I am going to stop supporting it financially, and I encourage others to do the same.

I am so disappointed in my Church. I grieve for the parents, children, lay people, nuns, and other priests who bought into the lies sold them by an arrogant Church. While the faithful were trying to abide by the strict and unforgiving sexual codes set down by the Church (no sex before marriage, no birth control, etc.), some priests were doing anything other than abiding by moral and legal sexual codes. They were instead criminally abusing children and scarring them for life. It is a betrayal so huge that it boggles my mind. I can never forgive these men. I keep my faith, and honor my faith, because my faith is in God and Christ, not men. I am on the fence at present about how I want to punish the Church, because it is in need of punishment. It has confessed to its crimes, yes, and now it needs absolution. In my book, that means that the pedophile priests go directly to jail. The leaders who covered up their crimes can join them there. It means paying out until the coffers are empty. It means zero tolerance for criminals and criminal behavior. It means returning to a simpler Church, without the layers upon layers of bureaucracy and career power trips—bishops, archbishops, etc. It means living simply, and it could start in the Vatican, which is in possession of treasure after treasure. Open the coffers, feed the poor, shelter the homeless, and take care of the sick. God knows there are millions of them on the earth. For example, help the Venezuelans, whose country is falling apart economically, resulting in their being unable to buy food and support their families. That is far more important to me than preaching to married couples that they should not use any form of birth control. Christ would have worried about feeding the poor and homeless. Do what Christ would have done, and would have you do. I have no stomach anymore for supporting the lifestyles of priests who drive new cars, take fancy vacations, live well, and eat well. That is not living the vow of poverty that they took. I understand that priests too need shelter and food, but they would do well to take a look around and see how their parishioners live, and adjust their needs accordingly. But it would be a moot point if they could marry and live among us ordinary souls. Then they would know what it was like to earn a living, afford a place to live, buy food, raise children, and take care of aging parents. They would know what it is like not to be able to afford a third or fourth child. They might learn compassion and empathy when they actually had to face some of these problems themselves.

I close by including a link to an article, also in The New York Times, which was a response by the Vatican to the recent grand jury findings https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/16/us/catholic-church-abuse-vatican-statement.html). I pray that this is the beginning of major reforms in the Church. It is the only way it can survive. The faith of its parishioners will survive, but as my father used to say, the Church is made up of men who are human. They will fail, themselves and us, in ways that Christ will not fail us. Our faith should be in Christ. We cannot place our faith in men and institutions; they betray us without compunction.

Some images of Tarrytown

My hometown--Tarrytown--I love returning here each year when I visit New York. I know it now like the back of my hand, know all the driving shortcuts, and where the hotels and supermarkets are. It feels like home when I'm there, and that's such a good feeling.

When I was in Tarrytown on my recent vacation, I took some photos of the new Tappan Zee Bridge (from the riverside park in Irvington), of the Hudson River at sunset from Barley on the Hudson restaurant (a good restaurant for informal American food--not too expensive), and of the Tarrytown Lakes--with the lush foliage and vegetation. I realize how privileged I was to grow up amidst all this beauty, and am grateful for that, as well as for the opportunity to visit each year. 

The defiant scientist

My friend Jean has dubbed me 'the defiant scientist', following our recent conversation about taking unnecessary medicines/pills that doctors like to push on us--their trusting patients. We had agreed that the pharmaceutical industry and the medical profession are more or less in bed together, and that the former rewards the latter for pushing patients to take what might be unnecessary medicines. Our main discussion happened to be about statins, which doctors in the USA and in Europe are pushing their patients to take at doses that may be too high. And since there are major side effects to statins, one should perhaps be a bit more circumspect when it comes to taking them, or at least taking them at the doses recommended by most doctors. Some of those side effects include muscle pain, liver damage, increased blood sugar or type 2 diabetes, and neurological side effects like memory loss (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-cholesterol/in-depth/statin-side-effects/art-20046013).

Case in point (and the reason why I am the defiant scientist)--I don't just follow anyone's instructions blindly, including a doctor's. I am skeptical at heart and want to test things for myself. That is perhaps due to my scientific research training and background. The word 'defiant' is defined as 'non-compliant......confrontational, challenging'. That would be me, especially the non-compliant part. I was prescribed statins over a year ago, since I have a family history of heart disease (high blood pressure and high cholesterol) on both my mother's and father's sides of the family, with many early deaths on my mother's side. I don't have very high cholesterol levels--they are in the high-normal range, like my blood pressure. But my brother died several years ago of heart disease at a young age (54), so my primary care physician thought it best that I start on statins. I was prescribed a low-dose statin (10 mg each day), but that was too strong for my body and I ended up with unpleasant gastrointestinal issues. So I did what I do with most medications that cause very unpleasant side effects (and what my mother did before me--reduce the dose or stop taking the medicine). Even the Mayo Clinic says--change/lower your dose to reduce some of the side effects, but be aware that to do so may also reduce some of the cholesterol-lowering benefits the medication has. Another option is to take the medication every other day. In my case, I cut my statin dose in half--to 5 mg each day, but took that dose every other day. So I effectively take 2.5 mg each day. Lo and behold, my last blood test showed that I had achieved reduced cholesterol levels, i.e., back-to-normal cholesterol levels, and that's good enough for me. When I was taking 10 mg each day, my HDL (the 'good' cholesterol) levels were nearly zero, and that can't be good; we do need cholesterol since it aids in the production of sex hormones and liver bile production. It's also a building block for human tissues.

My point is that we need to use our heads when we are prescribed medications. We need to read the fine print on the package inserts. We need to arm ourselves with information before we talk to our doctors. We need to learn what the side effects are so that if we are walking around feeling very dizzy from taking blood pressure medication, we can deal with that (stop taking the medication, for example). If we experience breathing problems/anxiety from taking an eye medication, we need to inform the doctor. And so on. Sometimes doctors are not interested in listening to us. I have had that experience with two male doctors, and I have no intention of going back to them. Doctors should be interested in listening to us tell them about the side effects, because they can report back to the pharmaceutical firms that produce them. I will continue to test different doctors until I find one that listens to me, and have done so on several occasions. I have a primary care physician who knows I am a scientist and that I experiment with drug doses if those drugs cause me problems. He has no problems with that, as long as my blood work and other parameters are normal when tested. He was supportive of my decision to stop taking blood pressure medication that made me very dizzy/feel like I was eighty years old. He has been supportive of the reduced statin dose as well. We discuss my health and how to approach treatment of different problems. My point is that if medications produce strange and/or unpleasant side effects, you should not continue to take them; you should rather stop taking them immediately and discuss the issue with your doctor. I understand that most of us might not want to track our blood pressure or cholesterol levels the way that I do, but still, it is important to remain informed, alert, and non-compliant when the need arises. We should not just behave like sheep where the pharmaceutical industry is involved.

Grace Jones and Slave to the Rhythm

Just felt like listening to Grace Jones this morning--my favorite song by her--Slave to the Rhythm.......

Wondering if the song title reflects my thoughts about going back to work after a long summer vacation, back to the grind, to the daily routine of 'woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head' (apologies to the Beatles) and a bit of the rat race.

A beautiful poem by Edgar Albert Guest--Faith

Apropos my last post, that there are no strangers when I travel, I found this beautiful poem online that sums up my feelings about the world when I travel, especially the line That strangers are friends that we some day may meet. Enjoy.......


Faith
by Edgar Albert Guest

I believe in the world and its bigness and splendor:
That most of the hearts beating round us are tender;
That days are but footsteps and years are but miles
That lead us to beauty and singing and smiles:
That roses that blossom and toilers that plod
Are filled with the glorious spirit of God.

I believe in the purpose of everything living:
That taking is but the forerunner of giving;
That strangers are friends that we some day may meet;
And not all the bitter can equal the sweet;
That creeds are but colors, and no man has said
That God loves the yellow rose more than the red.

I believe in the path that to-day I am treading,
That I shall come safe through the dangers I'm dreading;
That even the scoffer shall turn from his ways
And some day be won back to trust and to praise;
That the leaf on the tree and the thing we call Man
Are sharing alike in His infinite plan.

I believe that all things that are living and breathing
Some richness of beauty to earth are bequeathing;
That all that goes out of this world leaves behind
Some duty accomplished for mortals to find;
That the humblest of creatures our praise is deserving,
For it, with the wisest, the Master is serving.

There are no strangers when I travel

There is something about traveling that makes me a better person, about the freedom involved that frees me to be more open than I usually am. Traveling restores my faith in humanity and my trust in the present and future--that the world is fine for the most part. Yes, we face challenges like climate change, a political climate not to our liking, and the disappointments that follow along with getting older. But when I travel, I am not encumbered by these things, or by the judgmental overtones of the society in which I live. I am a stranger in the world, but I don’t feel like one, and other people don’t feel like strangers to me either. I don’t feel afraid or lonely, I rather feel connected to the world around me. I talk to people—cab drivers in New York City, the homeless on the streets of Manhattan, my seatmates on the plane to and from New York. I experience people for who they are, for better or worse. Yes, sometimes I run across some few people who are rude, unkind, critical or difficult. I sidestep them if necessary. But by and large, I have understood that if I open an encounter with a stranger with a smile, I get one in return. And sometimes, strangers just start talking to me; I’m not sure why. In any case, unless the topics discussed get a bit weird, I’ll give these conversations my best shot. I learn something new for the most part.

My conclusion is that it’s a good thing to get out of one’s daily personal and social routines, even if for a short time. It’s good for the brain to tackle new challenges, to be ‘uprooted’ so to speak. It’s also good to have to deal with changes in plans, as happened on my recent trip to New York; half of what I had planned to do simply did not come to pass. I did not like it initially, but there was nothing to do with it except to accept it—that life sometimes takes new turns. As it turned out, the unplanned free time gave me more time to write, for which I am grateful. But I also realized that perhaps I had over-planned, and that is a good reminder for planning my future trips. In any case, I am grateful for the fact that I can travel, that my health is good and finances likewise. Strangely enough, for how much I actually enjoy traveling, it was never a goal when I was younger. It simply came to pass that gradually, the opportunities to travel presented themselves. It started with traveling to scientific research conferences and grew from there. I will always cherish the memories of my first trip abroad to Cambridge England, to attend a scientific conference at Cambridge University. It was there I met my husband, so I have those memories to treasure. But even before I met him, I can remember the first day when we were assigned to our living quarters—the thrill of boarding in one of the dorm rooms at Cambridge University, being in a monastic-like room with a bed, a desk and not much more. It felt perfect, like that was all my life needed at that time (early 30s)—the minimal existence that is student life. Because what was waiting for me outside those four walls was immense—a chance to experience what it might have been like to study there, to experience academic life in that setting. It was a thrilling feeling, and frankly, still is. In the future, I would love to (and plan to) study there for a couple of weeks during the summer semester. Cambridge University offers short literature courses, and that is one of the things I hope to do when I retire. I have made no firm plans to do so as of yet, but it’s on my bucket list.

Back in New York City

It takes a while, but I do get used to this noisy, pulsating, crowded city again after a day or two. I cannot believe that I worked in Manhattan for seven years before I moved to Norway. I commuted by bus and subway each day into and out of Manhattan from the New Brunswick area of New Jersey. I remember clearly that I had a routine and knew all the shortcuts--how to get around the always-present crowds--and if I drove my car on chance occasions, I knew which shortcuts to use to get me more quickly across Central Park over to the East side (York Avenue) where I used to work.

I can't say that I miss the city, but it is a part of me. What I do like here is the diversity of people--the heterogeneity; people of all races and from all walks of life. It truly is a melting pot, and it all seems to work for the most part. What struck me this morning when I ate breakfast at Starbucks, is how many people held the entrance doors open for other people. How polite, and nice to see. And last night I went to mass at St. Malachy's Church on West 49th street; not only was the mass a good experience, but we sang songs that I haven't sung in ages (probably not since I was a teenager). So that by itself was nice, and just what I needed after a long day.

And of course there are the men hawking their wares on the sidewalks, as well as begging. New York City wouldn't be the same without them. One of them stopped me right around the corner from the church, and asked me for money to buy a milkshake at McDonalds. I had just been inside to purchase a large Coke, so I offered him my Coke, but he wanted a milkshake instead. I had to smile, as he told me that he had craved a milkshake all day. So what to do but give him the money to buy his milkshake. It's little moments like those that make me remember that the world is not, and never will be, perfect. There will always be those who have less (or nothing) than others, and those who have way more than they will ever need or use. The priest last night spoke about generosity; about giving even if you don't feel you have enough to give. It's the giving that counts, not the amount (of money, time, listening, caring) given. It's a generous heart that matters most. New York City is a reminder of that and so much more. I'm glad I don't work in the city anymore, but I am glad for the reminders that this city gives me to remain awake and open to the people around me.

Quotes about gratitude

• If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank you” that would suffice. --Meister Eckhart
• We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives. --John F. Kennedy
• Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals. If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more. --Roy T. Bennett
• True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. --Seneca
• The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not. --Seneca
• This a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before. --Maya Angelou
• When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed. --Maya Angelou
• A sense of blessedness comes from a change of heart, not from more blessings. --Mason Cooley
• May the work of your hands be a sign of gratitude and reverence to the human condition. --Mahatma Gandhi
• As long as this exists, this sunshine and this cloudless sky, and as long as I can enjoy it, how can I be sad? --Anne Frank
• In ordinary life, we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. --Dietrich Bonhoeffer
• When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. --G.K. Chesterton
• I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. --Gilbert K. Chesterton
• We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses. --Alphonse Karr
• I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet. --Confucius 
• Ingratitude is the daughter of pride. --Miguel de Cervantes

Practicing gratitude

I recently posted the following image on Facebook as it resonated with the way I feel these days about people who complain constantly--about everything--a never-ending stream of dissatisfaction, irritations, and unhappiness.

It strikes me as fairly odd that people would rather spend their days complaining instead of being grateful for what they have. And I don't just mean material wealth or possessions, although they would be something to be grateful for. I mean being grateful for the gift of another day--grateful that you woke up, because there are people who were close to me, my brother for one, who did not get that chance--who died young. Or friends who were once able to walk and can no longer because of their illness. We should be grateful for the chance to start over each day, to start anew, pursue a long-held dream, fulfill a half-finished project, or start a new one. We should be grateful for our spouses, our parents, our children, and our friends--all those who mean the world to us. But we are often too busy looking at our cell phones, or watching TV, or working too much, or arguing too much about inconsequential things. We don't appreciate the silence and peace of our minds and hearts, which remind us to slow down and take a good look at our lives. Because if we did slow down and look at our lives, we would see how blessed we are--material goods, shelter, a job, money, family, friends, and good health--all things that many of us take for granted, but that millions of people in the world don't have. So like the picture says, essentially, if you're not satisfied, do something to make yourself satisfied, and for God's sake, shut up and stop complaining about what you don't have. Money and material possessions aren't everything. Yes, it's nice to have them, and yes, we've worked hard for what we have, but there is no automatic guarantee of entitlement. I know people who have worked hard all their lives who ended up with very little to show for it. Ironically, it is not those people who complain ad nauseam. My experience is that it is those with the most who complain the most, and who are never satisfied; they always want more. The Norwegians have a good expression for it--"mye vil ha mer" (much wants more). Let's practice gratitude today. We can start by getting out of bed with gratitude in our hearts for having been given another day on this earth, and for being thankful for what we do have.

Quotes about disappointment

A part of life--disappointment. How we handle it affects our relationships, successes, failures and future expectations. I have gotten better at handling disappointment. I have also learned to deal with people and situations that continually disappoint me. If I can never count on another person to be there for me, if I am continually disappointed by them, my heart and soul adjust and move on. It's not a question of forgiveness; forgiveness is always there. But I know that I cannot depend on certain people for stability, constancy, generosity of spirit, or help. Sometimes it is not their fault; other times it's simply that they do not know themselves well enough to know what the rest of us know--that they promise more than they can ever deliver. They have false views of themselves. I know that, and I lower my expectations with those people. Eventually however, those people end up consigned to the outer reaches of my heart. Perhaps that is not so surprising. But they remain in my heart because I hold onto the hope that one day they will 'see' the light. 

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.”

― Unknown

“There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love.”

― Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

― Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”

– Eliza Tabor

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”

― Robert Kiyosaki

“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.”

– Henry David Thoreau

“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.”

― Les Brown

“Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives.”

― William Throsby Bridges

“If I am to meet with a disappointment, the sooner I know it, the more of life I shall have to wear it off.”

― Thomas Jefferson

 “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.”

― Jim Rohn

 “The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility.”

― Thomas S. Monson

“Enthusiasm is followed by disappointment and even depression, and then by renewed enthusiasm.”

― Murray Gell-Mann

Bumblebees and lavender

I've planted a lot of lavender plants in the garden, and the bees--both honeybees and bumblebees--love them. There are always a lot of them hovering over the plants, flitting from one flower to the other. When I am weeding the flower garden, I can often hear the bumblebees' characteristic buzz; neither they nor the honeybees are aggressive in any way. I call it peaceful coexistence in the garden. They don't like it very much when I water the flowers, but they deal with it. I took a video of the bumblebees enjoying the lavender......Enjoy!