It never ends--now the Pope says that nuns were sexually abused by priests and bishops

How deep does the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church go? Very deep, as it turns out. It seems that every time I turn around, there is a new allegation of abuse. Now the Pope has acknowledged that nuns have been sexually abused by priests and bishops:  https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/05/world/europe/pope-nuns-sexual-abuse.html . I didn't see the statistics presented anywhere, but I'm sure they will be available shortly. It wouldn't even matter to me at this point what the actual numbers are. What appalls me is how the Church initially responded to the victims--by ignoring them, by supporting the abusers, or by sweeping all of it under the rug to be dealt with at a later time, or never dealt with. The latter was the modus operandi until the past few years when the outing of criminal priests became a reality and forced the Church's hand. One wonders if they ever would have dealt with the sexual abuse scandals had they not been forced to.

I am disgusted by the entire business and appalled by the hypocrisy. Here we grew up with all these strict ridiculous rules regarding sex--no premarital sexual activity short of intercourse, no intercourse, and no birth control. All were grievous sins. That's what we were told. Even married couples were made to feel that practicing birth control put their souls at risk. The truth is that most lay Catholics behave much better than many of the priests who have been preaching to them all these years. We grew up with the fire and brimstone sermons. We feared going to confession, feared being reamed out, but if you ask me, our sins pale in comparison to the sins of the sexual abusers, the pedophiles, and the rapists (all criminals) that were and are found in the Catholic clergy. I saw a comment in the New York Times to the above article that said, and I quote "The Pope does not seem to understand that the Church is burning to the ground. The credibility of the Pope's statements and the Church's actions are questionable." I agree with the commenter; it scares me that we may be living in a time where all the things that we took for granted were good and true, are in reality, quite the opposite, and are now being exposed for the shams they actually are. The question is--what remains when the dust and ash settle--when the fire is over. That's what scares me. I no longer believe that the Church is the road to heaven. I know that it is possible to honor Christ without having to believe that. Do I still go to Church? Yes, I do--because I like the celebration of the mass and that one hour a week to reflect on something other than the rampant materialism that characterizes the world. But the part of me that doubts, the part that is confused, the part that is furious--all those parts are growing stronger by the day. I don't know if I will be able to contain them. I am no longer patient inside. I would prefer a quiet mass without sermons. Sometimes I sit in the pew and listen to yet another uninspired irrelevant sermon and I feel like standing up and yelling--talk about the sexual abuse scandal in the Church, tell us what you are doing about it, condemn it and the perpetrators, talk about the misuse of power, the abuse of children and women. Talk about the inequity between men and women, talk about the patriarchies that have ruined the lives of women and children, talk about the refusal of the Church to take women seriously and to allow them to become priests, talk about spousal abuse (physical, emotional, psychological), talk about the brutality of the messages that many of us grew up with. But I don't think I will hear any of those sermons in my lifetime. So much of our childhood was about fear of authority, about instilling compliance in us, about having absolute power over us. I no longer have that fear, I am no longer compliant, and no one has absolute power over me. Those days are long gone. I rely rather on the fact that if God made us all in his/her image and likeness, that we were given a powerful brain by that same God, a god-like brain, that God intended for us to use wisely, humbly and gratefully. I for one, have chosen to use it in those ways.

Women should be deacons in the Catholic Church

I am posting an article from Fordham Magazine in its entirety, because it is worth reading. I don't need to comment on it much--I agree with its message and aim. Women need to play a larger role in the Catholic church, and there's no time like the present to try to effect such a change--allowing women to become deacons. The time for change is here.

https://news.fordham.edu/faith-and-service/commission-calls-for-catholic-church-to-let-women-become-deacons-again/?utm_source=Fordham+Master+List&utm_campaign=dddd5f7b54-FORDHAM_MAG_2019_1_31&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_808eb3c98f-dddd5f7b54-172681701

Panel Calls for Catholic Church to Let Women Become Deacons Again

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BY PATRICK VEREL ON JANUARY 16, 2019EDITOR'S PICKS, FAITH AND SERVICE

Donna Ciangio, O.P.; Bernard Pottier, S.J.; Phyllis Zagano, and Thomas Rosica. Photo by Leo Sorel

The time has come for women to reclaim their roles as deacons in the Catholic Church.

That was the assertion of a panel of scholars who came together on Tuesday, Jan. 15 at Fordham’s Lincoln Center campus.

The issue of whether women can become deacons is one that the Vatican had studied twice since the early 1990s. In 2016, Pope Francis announced a third commission, made up of six women and six men, to study its feasibility.

A New Look at an Old Idea

Phyllis Zagano, Ph.D., and Bernard Pottier, S.J., two members of that commission, spoke Tuesday at a Fordham panel event, The Future of Women Deacons: Views from the Papal Commission and the American Pews.

Zagano, a senior research associate-in-residence at Hofstra University and author of Women Deacons? Essays with Easy Answers (Michael Glazier, 2016), said evidence of the existence of women deacons, who share many responsibilities with priests, in the churches’ earliest days is indisputable.

Documents available in Vatican libraries from the fourth and fifth centuries make clear the existence of a position that was separate and distinct from the priesthood, and was therefore open to all, she said, and specifically referenced women.

“The earliest ordination for deacons is in the apostolic constitution, which directs the bishop to lay hands on [a woman being ordained]in the presence of the presbyterate, the male deacons, and the woman deacons, and to pray a prayer that parallels the ordination of the deacon, including the Epiclesis, which is the calling down of the Holy Spirit,” she said.

“God is asked to bless her in regard to her ministry. The ordaining bishop places a stole around her neck. As I’ve said to many people, ‘If she wasn’t a deacon, they would call her something else.’” she said, but the responsibilities would have been the same.

An Upheaval Leads to Shifting Attitudes

In the middle of the 18th century, she said, scholars began rejecting the idea of a female deacon, and quibbled over whether these women had been “ordained” or “blessed.” Zagano said the words were used interchangeably at the time.

“For me, if a bishop was laying hands on a woman, invoking the Holy Spirit, putting a stole on her, giving the chalice, and calling her a deacon, I don’t know what else to say,” she said.

So why did women deacons disappear? Father Pottier, a faculty member at the Institute D’Etudes Théologiques in Brussels, said the Great Schism of 1054, when what is now the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox churches split, was key to the change.

“The Western church began to think by its own, without the mystical spirituality of the East, that rationality and legalistic thought was more important,” he said.

The upside of this was the rise of immensely influential philosophers such as St. Thomas Aquinas, he said.

“On the other side, we lost a little bit of what the sacrament is. What is the spirituality and the grace of the sacrament? The West wanted to do everything clear, and everything simple. So the sacrament of ordination became very simple. You have cursus honorum, a sort of scale you have to pass by all the steps, and not miss one. A deacon became only a step to priesthood,” he said, and therefore, something reserved for men.  But he cautioned that this needn’t be the end of the story.

“Our faith has roots in the Bible, in the New Testament, in the person of Jesus Christ, and in what the church has done. We do not have to be afraid of history. In history, we do not have a source of rigidity and immobility,” he said, but rather an example that change is possible.

A View From the Pews

Panelist Donna Ciangio, O.P., said conversations she’s had with lay members of the Archdiocese of Newark, where she is chancellor, have convinced her that parishes need women deacon now.

“I asked a few parishioners about the possibility of women deacons, and the first answer I got was, “Aren’t you and Sister Sandy deacons already?” she said.

Where the issue really rears its head is when she works with couples who want to have their child baptized in the church.

“We ask them, is there anything that keeps you from embracing the church wholly? One woman said to me, ‘My children ask me, ‘Why can’t women be priests or deacons?’ I have no answer that satisfies them,’” she said.

Sister Ciangio also recently oversaw the creation of a study guide to help Catholics better understand this issue, titled Women Deacons: Past, Present, Future, (Paulist Press, 2012), which Zagano co-wrote. She invited 12 parishioners from the diocese to come together to read it.

“As we discussed each chapter, they became more and more interested, but they became more and more agitated,” she said, noting that none were aware of the existence of women deacons in the past.

“The group became convinced that it’s no longer acceptable not to have women deacons in parishes or significant leadership positions in the church.”

What Next?

What if Pope Francis decides this is not the right time to let women become deacons again?

The panel has presented its report to the pontiff and is waiting for a response. Zagano said that given the church’s dire need for those who can minister to the faithful, even a delayed answer will be a negative answer.

“I think it’s up to the church to make noise. The pope has said in other cases, make noise. Well, make noise,” she said.

“I have a sense that he will know the time to say something. We have from May 6 to 10 a triennial meeting of the international union of superiors general, the women who originally asked him to examine this issue. If I were the pope, I wouldn’t want to walk into a meeting with 900 nuns without an answer.”

The panel event was sponsored by Fordham’s Center on Religion and Culture. David Gibson, the center’s director, said the topic is a timely one given the upheaval the church has faced recently.

“Elevating and broadening the role of the women in the church, as Pope Francis has said we must do, is especially critical today if we’re to answer the call of the spirit in this time of epochal change and challenge for the Catholic church,” said Gibson.

“It is a call that our nation and our world must respond to.”

The panel was moderated by Thomas Rosica, C.S.B., president of Salt & Light Media, and was streamed live on Salt & Light.

Bernard PottierCatholic ChurchCatholicismCenter on Religion and CultureDavid GibsonDonna CiangioPhyllis ZaganoThomas Rosica

Sexual abuse scandal, the Jesuits, and Fordham University

I've written about the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church in several previous posts from last year. I recently received an email from the president of Fordham University (where I attended college) entitled Northeast Province of the Society of Jesus Releases Names of Priests Credibly Accused of Abuse. I am posting his letter to us here, which makes it clear that Fordham University takes this scandal very seriously. I am proud to say that I am an alumnus of this university, and am glad to see that they are determined to hold the sexual abuse perpetrators to account. Some of them are most likely dead at this point, but for those who are not, the letter makes clear that they are criminals and that they should be treated as such.

Dear Members of the Fordham Family:

Earlier today, the Jesuit USA Northeast Province of the Society of Jesus released a list of Jesuits against whom there are credible allegations of sexual abuse committed against minors. Among those accused are five Jesuits who, over the past six or more decades, were assigned by the Province to serve at Fordham University or Fordham Preparatory School, which separated from the University in 1970. The USA Northeast Province includes the former New York, Buffalo and New England Provinces.

As the sexual abuse scandal that has engulfed the Catholic Church unfolds, it is incumbent on all of us who are leaders at affected institutions to support the survivors and to acknowledge the inalterable harm that was inflicted on these brave survivors and their families. They are and will remain the University's first and central concern. We must also ensure that policies and procedures are in place to prevent this from ever happening again. To that end, the Board of Trustees has created an independent Advisory Committee of lay trustees – excluding Jesuit members of the Board or management at Fordham – to review allegations of sexual misconduct against Jesuits. In particular, the Advisory Committee has been tasked with reviewing and analyzing allegations of abuse by Jesuits who were employed by or otherwise associated with the University at the time the alleged misconduct was committed, overseeing the management of claims concerning such abuse, and examining any appropriate preventative and remedial measures to address allegations of such abuse.

In connection with the University’s efforts in this regard, and following the Northeast Province’s release of its list of credibly accused Jesuits, we are also releasing a list that includes four additional names of priests who have been identified by other Jesuit Provinces as having similarly credible allegations against them, and who were associated with the University or Fordham Prep prior to its separation from the University in 1970. We also note that some of the names identified on the Northeast Province’s list are of priests who were not associated with the University or Fordham Prep prior to 1970 but who resided at Murray-Weigel Hall, a Jesuit nursing home that is owned and operated by the Northeast Province and is located on property adjacent to the University’s Rose Hill Campus. Fordham University has not historically been empowered to decide who is assigned to reside at Murray-Weigel Hall. Nonetheless, at Fordham’s insistence, the Northeast Province has recently removed all men with known credible accusations against them from Murray-Weigel Hall. In addition, some names on the Province’s list may include individuals who were associated with Fordham Prep after its separation from the University in 1970.

The sexual abuse of a minor or other vulnerable person by someone in a position of privilege and authority is an unspeakable violation of human decency and completely antithetical to the mission and ethos of our University. While none of the accused priests are involved in Fordham University’s student life or operations today, we are horrified that some of these alleged crimes were committed when the perpetrators were associated with the University or were otherwise in close proximity to our students.

Our insistence that alleged offenders be removed from Murray-Weigel is just one aspect of Fordham University’s commitment to protecting our students from potential harm. In addition to the work of the Advisory Committee and the protocols that it is developing, Fordham will report any accusation of sexual abuse of a minor by any member of our community to law enforcement, regardless of its date of occurrence, and immediately remove the offender from any Fordham position they occupy pending the outcome of an investigation. If the allegations are deemed credible, the perpetrator will be banned from campus and from any contact with students.

There are a number of resources at Fordham and in the broader community designed to support survivors of sexual abuse or misconduct. Fordham University’s website and Student Handbook include detailed procedures for reporting sexual misconduct, assault or other acts of violence either confidentially to a counselor, internally to Fordham administrators, or externally to the New York City or Harrison, N.Y. Police Departments. If you have experienced or observed sexual or other misconduct, including unwanted sexual contact, you are encouraged to contact Kareem Peat, Fordham’s Title IX Coordinator, at (718) 817-3112 or titleix@fordham.edu and/or the Province’s Victims’ Coordinator, Kristin Austin, at (443) 370-6357 or UNEadvocacy@jesuits.org.

We are heartsick that the shadow of the crisis within the larger Catholic community has been cast upon our University, and deeply troubled by the very real possibility that there are still survivors whose accounts of abuse we have not yet heard. Know, however, that Fordham will take all actions necessary to ensure the safety and well-being of its students – past and present – faculty, and staff, and of course to be responsive to the concerns of parents, alumni and other members of our community.

With deepest sorrow for the past and hope for the future,

Joseph M. McShane, S.J.
President, Fordham University

Robert D. Daleo
Chairman of the Board, Fordham University Board of Trustees


From the Northeast Province:

J. Peter Conroy, S.J.  At Fordham from 1972 to 1979
Roy Drake, S.J. At Fordham from 1965 to 1968
John McCarthy, S.J. At Fordham from 1956 to 1992
Eugene O’Brien, S.J. At Fordham Prep from 1950 to 1953 and 1960 to 1980, and at the University from 1986 to 1991.
William Scanlon, S.J. At Fordham from 1972 to 1974

Those on the lists prepared by the four other American Provinces with connections to Fordham are the following:

John Bellwoar, S.J.  (Maryland Province) At Fordham Prep from 1936 to 1938
Maurice Meyers, S.J. (Midwest Province) At Fordham from 1951 to 1959 and 1973 to 1974
Francis X. Nawn, S.J.  (West Province) At Fordham from 1980 to 1981
Philip Sunseri, S.J.  (West Province) Lived in University Residence Halls from 1983 to 1986

A beautiful poem by Walt Whitman

Out of the rolling ocean the crowd
by Walt Whitman


Out of the rolling ocean the crowd came a drop gently to me,
Whispering, I love you, before long I die,
I have travel’d a long way merely to look on you to touch you,
For I could not die till I once look’d on you,
For I fear’d I might afterward lose you.

Now we have met, we have look’d, we are safe,
Return in peace to the ocean my love,
I too am part of that ocean, my love, we are not so much separated,
Behold the great rondure, the cohesion of all, how perfect!
But as for me, for you, the irresistible sea is to separate us,
As for an hour carrying us diverse, yet cannot carry us diverse forever;
Be not impatient – a little space – know you I salute the air, the ocean and the land,
Every day at sundown for your dear sake, my love.

All I Ask of You--a beautiful love song from Phantom of the Opera

I went to see Phantom of the Opera for the second time this past Saturday, in Oslo, in Norwegian, together with my husband who had never seen it before. Everything about the Norwegian production was excellent, and strangely enough, the song lyrics in Norwegian were just as beautiful when sung as they are in English. The first time I saw this musical was in London, back in 2003, I think it was. I was together with my sister, and we enjoyed it (I think me more than her), but the whole experience was fun--especially during the pause when we opened our pre-ordered bottle of champagne that was waiting for us at our reserved table. It was good to see this musical a second time; I got a chance to focus on the story, but mostly on the music and songs--they are truly beautiful songs. I especially like 'All I Ask of You', the duet between Christine and Raoul. I found a version online that turned out to be my favorite, after having listened to several different versions with different singers. This one is with Sarah Brightman and Cliff Richard. The video is overly-romantic and over-the-top, but it works. This is one romantic song that will bring tears to your eyes. Enjoy............

IO--a love story between a young woman and the planet she calls home

I watched the sci-fi film IO on Netflix last night. It is the story of Earth's demise, through the eyes of a young woman, Sam, who has only known an Earth that is headed for destruction. She was born into a world that was dying--animals, birds, humans. Global warming led to changes in the earth's atmosphere that could not sustain life any longer. The only places where there still remained enough pockets of oxygen were in mountainous areas, and that is where her scientist father moved her and her mother. He wanted to find a way to save the Earth; most other surviving humans have made the long trek to Io, one of Jupiter's moons, which apparently can support life. Sam is one of the few remaining humans on Earth, and she spends her days carrying on her father's work, looking for evidence of life/new life down in the Zone (the city), which is completely barren and devoid of all life. She drives an ATV and always has a supply of oxygen with her. On the top of the mountain where she lives, she tends to living plants that she has managed to grow in a greenhouse, a surprising development. She also has a huge telescope so that she can look at the night sky and at Io, where her engineer boyfriend Elon lives. They carry on a long-distance relationship characterized mostly by loneliness. And then one day Micah comes into her life, arriving in a hot-air balloon. He has come to visit her father after his wife died; both of them listened to her father's advice to stay on Earth rather than leave for Io, while he researched ways of making humans and animals able to adapt to the new atmosphere. That decision proved fatal for his wife. Sam tells him that her father has taken a trip to another part of the mountains on a research mission and that he is due home in a few days. Micah accepts this at first, but after several days, he begins to understand that things are not what they seem. He finds out that Sam's father is dead, as is her mother, and that she is living there alone. He decides to take her with him in the balloon to the site of the last shuttle launch that is leaving for Io. He doesn't want to leave her on Earth alone. Sam seems determined to join him, especially after they both become romantically involved, and after she finds out that Elon is leaving on a ten-year mission to Proxima Centauri. She understands that she and Elon will never be together, and that pushes her toward Micah. But things are not what they seem.

I won't give away the ending to the film, but I found it to be moving. It touched me that a young woman who had never known an Earth that was healthy, was so determined to restore it to its previous beauty, to help it to survive. It touched me that she did not want to give up on this planet, that she believed (foolishly perhaps) that it could be saved. The ending is ambiguous; one is unsure if it is a dream or reality. I chose to believe that it was reality.

The film has gotten mostly negative reviews in the media, on Imdb and elsewhere. I will admit that it might have benefited from tighter editing as it dragged in some places. And the science part of it was full of holes and mistakes. But I was drawn in by the story, and that is what makes a film work for me. If it touches my heart, then it works for me. It was not a sappy film, nor was it an upbeat one. It was simply a film that describes our perhaps not-so-distant future. Make of that what you will. If global warming brings about an end to our way of life on this planet, there will be people who will want to stay on Earth to try to save it, and those who will leave it behind. It is not always so easy to know what one would do and that is what the film tries to portray. I think it managed to do that despite its flaws. If you are looking for Alien, I am Legend, or Interstellar, this is not any of those films (it couldn't be anyway because it is very low-budget). Monsters are not waiting in the dark places to attack, and there is no impressive interplanetary space travel or talk of tesseracts. However, like Interstellar, it touched me because at heart, it is really a love story. In Io's case, it is a love story between a young woman and the planet she calls home.

Saying goodbye to a wonderful teacher and a dear friend

Some people come into your life and stay there for a lifetime. They are sent to you by God, for a reason. They are generous people--with their time, their patience, their kindness, and their encouragement. They touch your life and change it forever, settling as they do into your heart. If you are so lucky to know such a person, you know that you have been blessed. I honor such a person today--my high school English teacher Brendan (born in Ireland) who noticed the quiet reserved student, and who encouraged her to write poetry. He died yesterday, after a long illness. We had corresponded on and off during the past forty years, mostly during the past decade after our high school reunion in 2009. And of course we connected on Facebook along with everyone else. But gradually there were less and less emails as his illness robbed him of the abilities to walk and to use his hands to write. But the desire to share a poem with me, or vice versa, was always there. Our mutual interest in all things poetic was in itself, poetic. It's not everyday you find someone with whom you can discuss poetry. I will miss that about him, and so much more. He made room for people in his life, and I see from the condolences on his Facebook wall that those many people remember him now. Many of them feel the same way about him as I do, for different reasons. He brought out the best in everyone. He left this world on the same day, January 17th, as the well-known American poet, Mary Oliver, whose poems we both liked. I am sure he has found his home in heaven now. I'd like to think that he and my father, who also loved all things literary, will find a moment together to share and discuss a favorite poem or two should they meet. I hope they do.

There is a poem I wrote when I returned from my first visit to Ireland in 2011, a poem that he really liked. He was thrilled to hear at that time that I had finally gotten to Ireland. I include the poem here. Rest in peace, my dear friend. Fear, dread, and death no longer have any power over you.

In the Shadows of Giants

I walk in the shadows of giants
Stand in the splendor of kings
Mute in the presence of tyrants
Lost in the halls that sing

I roam the passage that beckons
Ancient the call that keens
Lithe is the fairy that reckons
Spirit remains unseen

I fly in the temple of sinners
Eat at the tables of saints
Join with the forces of winners
Scarce are the jabs and the feints

I reel in the smoke of the fire
That burns in the halls of the kings
Fly in the face of ire
Sail with the lords of the rings

I forage the future of time
Divine with the rod of the druids
All things about me sublime
All things about me are fluid

I stand in the shadows of giants
Walk in the presence of lights
Far out upon the horizon
Dancing about me like sprites

I speak in the tongues of the ancients
Keen with the songs of the dead
Free my soul from the dungeons
Of fear, of death, and of dread

Copyright 2011 Paula Mary De Angelis

Saying goodbye to the old Tappan Zee Bridge

The old Tappan Zee Bridge over the Hudson River connects Tarrytown with Nyack; it was opened for traffic in 1955. After many years of use and multiple repairs, it was deemed unsafe and a new one was built and opened for traffic last year. Controlled demolition of the old one was scheduled for and carried out yesterday (some demolition started in 2017), and there are videos of the demolition on all the news channels, social media, and YouTube. The demolition will live forever in the internet universe. I never imagined that the demolition of a bridge would affect me the way it has; it made me quite sad. And it's clear to me that I'm not the only person who feels that way. I have driven over that bridge countless times, on my way to visit my sister in upstate NY, or to visit friends on that side of the river, or to connect with the Palisades and Garden State Parkways. I can still connect with the parkways via the new bridge, and a lot of people I know have told me that there is less traffic on the new bridge. All well and good. Change usually means progress--change for the better--that I cannot deny. And of course, I understand that there are only so many repairs that can be done before a new bridge is necessary for safety reasons. But still, I will miss the old bridge. I will miss looking out over the Hudson River from different vantage points and different Hudson River towns and seeing its characteristic shape. It was a beautiful bridge that figured into a lot of the photos I've taken over the years. It was a landmark. And every time I approached the bridge when driving from New Jersey or back from upstate, I felt somehow safe again, because I knew that once I crossed it, I was back in my hometown.

The new bridge is not called the Tappan Zee Bridge, but rather the Governor Mario M. Cuomo bridge, a rather unpopular renaming move by the governor of New York State, Andrew Cuomo (Mario's son). For those of us who grew up in Tarrytown, renaming the new bridge in this way is a slap in the face of our history, and there is a movement afoot to fight the name change in court. We'll see how far it gets.

Some of my previous posts have dealt with the Tappan Zee Bridge and the Hudson River; I'm including the links here if you'd like to read them:
https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/2018/09/check-out-tappan-zee-bridgeoldtzb-on.html
https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/2010/07/tale-of-two-rivers.html

After rereading my earlier posts, I understand my emotional connection to the old bridge even more. Yes, it was an inanimate object, but for us Tarrytowners, it was so much more. We grew up with the old bridge. It grew older, we grew older right along with it. We are from that generation, and the bridge is a part of us, forever.

A Star is Born--2018

Bradley Cooper's A Star is Born is a beautiful movie. I saw it this past Thursday evening, and it has stayed with me since then. Besides being a beautiful movie, it is a moving one--a love story that reaches in, grabs your heart, and doesn't let go. I haven't felt this way about a film since Brokeback Mountain from 2005. A Star is Born has gotten excellent reviews all the way around, and that is not surprising. I was thinking about why the film works so well; after all, this is the fourth remake of the original film from 1937. I haven't seen the original film or the other remakes, but I feel sure that this film, apart from the original, is the best. I think it comes down to the two leads, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Both play vulnerable characters who open up to each other and who fall in love. Both are singers, one on the way up (Ally, played by Lady Gaga) and one on the way down (Jackson Maine, played by Bradley Cooper). Jackson Maine is struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction; his career as a country singer has peaked and he knows it. When he begins to sing together with Ally after 'discovering' her in a drag bar where she performs at times, he understands that she is what he needs, both professionally and personally. But other people recognize her talent and do not want him and his addictions to stand in her way, with a tragic outcome. It's a story that's been told many times in many different ways, but this one works. It's been brought up-to-date, with Ally being able to move between a number of different song genres, from country music to pop.

In my opinion the film works because the chemistry between Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga is real, raw, palpable. You feel it every time they look at each other, hug each other, or touch each other. You feel that they care for each other, and you feel for them when their relationship falls on hard times. Their chemistry has been commented upon by many movie reviewers and the stars themselves. The movie is filmed in an intimate manner, with close-ups of their faces and expressions, which creates the effect that we are right there with them. There is a vulnerability and an ease between them that works; there is nothing slick or superficial about their relationship. I found myself thinking that this is the way many romantic relationships start, with that vulnerability and ease. They are beautiful things if you are lucky enough in your life to experience them; they are what we are always seeking a return to, and if we are lucky enough, we find them again and fall in love with our partner all over again.

But it occurred to me as well that both Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga experienced that vulnerability in their real lives when making this film, not just in their characters' lives onscreen. Cooper is an actor, not a singer (or director--this is his first time as director), and Lady Gaga is a singer, not an actor; yet both of them moved out of their 'safe' zones to try something new, with amazing results. Cooper can sing, and Lady Gaga can act. Additionally, Lady Gaga knows what it takes to reach the top, and I feel sure that she drew on those experiences and used them in creating Ally. The performances of the other actors in this film are also worth lauding--Sam Elliot as Jackson's brother Bobby, and Andrew Dice Clay as Lorenzo Campana, Ally's father.

Cooper and Lady Gaga supported each other and brought out the best in each other, and created a film that will last, that will still move you half a century from now. That is an amazing feat and one to be proud of--to know as the director, and as actors, that you have created a film that is already assured a place in posterity.

Two of my favorite prayers

Two of my favorite prayers--they contain all the wisdom needed to help us through our lives. 

The Serenity Prayer        (Reinhold Niebuhr--1892-1971)

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; 

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

enjoying one moment at a time; 

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will; 

that I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next. 

Amen.

(It is the first part of this prayer that most people remember, but the last part is equally wise). 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

New Year's resolutions and goals

I normally don't make New Year's resolutions, although I do set a few specific goals for myself. Last year it was to read twenty books during the year (I signed up for the Goodreads challenge), and I achieved that goal. I also vowed to write at least twelve blog posts per month, and I met that goal as well. But the reason I don't make resolutions is because they are often too vague--exercise more, eat more vegetables, etc. I try to follow them, but I know I will not live up to those resolutions in the same way as I try to meet my goals. I think the difference is the level of commitment. A resolution is more of a decision to do something without necessarily being committed to doing it, whereas a goal involves commitment to a vision of how one wants the future to work out. It is the commitment part that drives me; once I set a goal, I want to achieve it.

This year I have goals as well, and they involve publishing the books I have been working on for the past several years. I won't do the Goodreads challenge this year, so that I can devote more time to finishing my own books. I will continue to write this blog, but the number of posts will vary each month as they always have (except in 2018).

Books, movies, photography, traveling, and writing are the interests that I try to prioritize. In many instances, I can combine several of these, e.g. traveling, photography and writing, and produce a photo-essay that describes where we've been and what we've experienced. But otherwise, reading and movies facilitate a type of travel that I have long been used to. Ever since I was a child, I have traveled to new realms in these ways. I will continue to do so in the coming years.

Looking back on 2018 and the need for hope

What a year--2018. Looking back, I'd say it was a whirlwind of a year for me personally. My work life took an unexpected turn for the better, and as the old expression goes, 'I never looked back' once I hopped on this new train--a new focus area and one for which I seem to be suited. It could all change in an instant; I am fully aware of that, but that is the beauty of growing older. One has been down those paths before, so one is less surprised if it all goes to hell again. I hope it won't, but the universe might have other plans, so it's just to stay open to new possibilities and opportunities.

I realized too how important traveling is for broadening our horizons, and planning a trip to a new place each summer has become a fun occupation. I want to explore more of Great Britain--more of England, Scotland, and Wales. I'd love to revisit Italy in order to take in Florence and Sienna. I'd like to see Spain and Portugal as well. I have a feeling we'll get there, one country at a time. For that reason (and a few others), I really do look forward to retirement and to taking some longer trips with my husband and my friends.

But one doesn't always need to physically travel to a new place in order to broaden one's horizons; one need only pick up a good book that will take you where you want to go (or sometimes where you never thought about going). I have rediscovered how interesting American history is, thanks to Caroline Fraser and her wonderful book Prairie Fires--The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder. If there is one book I can recommend from this year's reading, it is this one. I have mentioned it before in a previous post (https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/2018/08/book-recommendation-biography-of-laura.html), but it bears repeating--the USA has been through some pretty dark times, and it has survived them--climate changes, rampant corruption, economic depressions, widespread poverty, political uproars and turmoil, world wars, and so much more. Our country has had great presidents and terrible presidents. It survived them. We will survive. We may need to undergo some forms of renewal (much like the Catholic church needs to do in order to deal with the sexual abuse scandals), but we will survive. There is comfort in knowing that, and that is what learning about our history gives us--new realizations about where we come from, and even insights about where we might be headed.

Despite the current political chaos that reigns in the White House, our country will survive. The founding fathers built many checks and balances into our system of government. It may seem as thought they are failing one by one, but they are not. The majority of politicians still believe in something good; one must hope that they will rise to the challenge of defending our country's honor and dignity. And if they cannot do it, that we the people must do it for them. Our ancestors left Europe to find a better life in America; perhaps some found that, while others didn't. What they did find was the chance to figure it out for themselves, to think for themselves, to take responsibility for their own lives. They took a risk, and we must take risks too, in order to preserve the freedoms that we have fought to attain. We must not be complacent, self-satisfied, or slothful. We cannot afford to be any of those things. We must find it in our hearts to be grateful and hopeful, because from gratitude and hope spring all that is good, and we must translate our gratitude and hope into positive action.

Light in the darkness

The darkest time of the year--December. Short days, late sunrises, early sunsets. Some beautiful skies at sunrise and sunset. But mostly, there is dark until the snow comes to cloak the veil of night. And then Christmastime comes, with the accompanying Christmas lights and decorations. They are a comforting sight. I try sometimes to imagine a world without the sun, a world plunged into total darkness, day in and day out. It is not a world I would want to live in. I do enjoy taking some night walks, as long as there are city and street lights to keep me company and to light my way. I would not want to live out in the wilderness, say in a forest without light of any kind at night. My imagination would run wild. We are now past the winter solstice, and moving toward longer and lighter days, thankfully.

Here are some recent photos--light in the darkness--heartening every time I see them.

Insights about forgiveness

The difficult situations that we face in our lives challenge our capacity to forgive, especially when we have been hurt by another. I know from personal experience that forgiveness is not something that can be hurried or forced. You cannot simply 'forgive and forget' at the drop of a hat. It's not that easy. Eckhart Tolle seems to have understood that, because he writes so insightfully about forgiveness in his book, A New Earth. I have not read his book, but I run across excerpts from it from time to time, that I think are worth sharing.

It requires honesty to see whether you still harbor grievances, whether there is someone in your life you have not completely forgiven, an "enemy." If you do, become aware of the grievance both on the level of thought as well as emotion, that is to say, be aware of the thoughts that keep it alive, and feel the emotion that is the body's response to those thoughts. Don't try to let go of the grievance. Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when you see that it has no purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place. The seeing is freeing. Jesus' teaching to "Forgive your enemies" is essentially about the undoing of one of the main egoic structures in the human mind. The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. And what is a grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.

~Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth pg.66)

A peaceful Christmas scene

Comparing religion and the gospel

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today, and I thought it was worth sharing:

Thoughts to reflect upon--Staying Catholic at Christmas--by Ross Douthat

I found this opinion piece to be well-written; it offers food for thought in this chaotic world, a world that includes a Catholic church that faces and has faced sexual scandals that are appalling. I've written about this before, but this article sums up how many Catholics are feeling about their religion and their church these days. Well-worth reading........

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/22/opinion/catholic-christmas-church.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage

The man who captured divine light in his paintings

Thomas Kinkade's paintings capture light in a way that no other paintings manage to do, at least the paintings I have seen up to this point in my life. There is absolutely something divine about that light and the feelings it creates in the viewer. The closest I can come to adequately describing his paintings is that they portray a vision of heaven, a vision that I can relate to--coming home, the feeling of belonging somewhere (inclusive), family, love, warmth, spirituality, inspiration, joy, and pastoral settings that are all about peace. They tap into a universal longing in us all--the longing to be a part of an all-encompassing love as felt in that light, and to feel that peace; they are divinely-inspired. Perhaps the artist felt that longing as well; his personal life was certainly not as peaceful as the life portrayed in his paintings. Regardless of how Kinkade lived his life, he had a God-given talent that he used well to produce some beautiful paintings. He did not hide 'his light under a bushel basket'. His critics have accused him of being overly-sentimental, among other things, but I don't agree with them. I don't find his paintings sentimental, I find them to be spiritually-influenced visualizations of how life could be, and perhaps that is what the artist both longed for and wished to impart.

Making struffoli for the holidays

An Italian tradition that my father and mother followed each Christmas when we were children--making struffoli. They made it together, sitting at the dining room table. My mother would roll out the dough, and my father would cut small pieces of the dough and roll them into small balls that my mother would fry in peanut oil. Once they were drained and cooled, she would pile them all together on a big plate and cover them with honey and some candy sprinkles. Struffoli are to die for, and we loved them. We could never really get enough of them. They're sticky, gooey and wonderful.

Here is a photo of struffoli that resembles the struffoli my parents made, and a recipe for struffoli that my parents used. 

(photo from https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/struffoli-51203810)

This is the struffoli recipe my parents used (from my father's mother who was born in Caserta, Italy, very near Naples):

• Mix 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour and 1/4 tsp salt.
• Add 4 beaten eggs, slowly, and then 1/2 tsp vanilla. Mix to make a soft dough. 
• Turn dough onto a lightly-floured board. Knead, then divide dough in half. Roll each half to form 1/4-inch wide long strips. 
• Cut each strip into pieces 1/4 to 1/2 inch long. Roll into small balls. 
• Fill a 2-quart saucepan up to the halfway mark with peanut oil. Fry as many of the small balls as can float, over medium heat. Fry until brown. 
• Drain the struffoli on absorbent paper. Let cool. 
• Place the contents of a 16-ounce jar of honey in a small saucepan. Add 2 tsp sugar. Boil until clear. 
• Take the cooled struffoli and dip pieces in the clear honey, arrange them on a plate, and cover with candy sprinkles. 

This year's Christmas editions of favorite comic strips

This is one tradition I look forward to every year at Christmastime here in Norway. They have a tradition of publishing Christmas editions (julehefter) of everyone's favorite comic strips, including Donald Duck and other Disney characters, as well as Blondie, Beetle Bailey, and Calvin & Hobbes (called Tommy og Tigern in Norway). Here is a sampling of this year's Christmas editions that I've purchased:

Reminders of past times with loved ones

I bought four more Christmas films so that I can watch them whenever I want during this holiday season:

• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058536/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060345/?ref_=nv_sr_3
• Scrooge (1970) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066344/
• The Snowman (1982) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084701/?ref_=nv_sr_3

Scrooge will forever remind me of my brother and my mother, who both loved the film. So I know I will be feeling nostalgic for the times I spent with them at Christmas while I am watching this movie. They also loved the film The Snowman. Christmases now and in the future will always be a reminder of loved ones who have passed. While I don't focus on death or sadness, they are both a part of life. There is no real life without them. Experiencing sadness makes the happy times in life happier, because one knows what sadness really is, so that one can appreciate and be thankful for the happy times. 

I've been watching a lot of Hallmark Christmas films on one of the local channels here in Oslo that has been showing a Christmas film each day during December. I haven't been able to watch them all, but the ones I have watched are sweet, often romantic films, that follow a tried-and-true pattern: boy meets girl or girl meets boy, they are attracted to each other but other things get in the way of their being together, there are often trials they have to overcome before they can acknowledge their feelings for one another, and then finally, they can be together. I thought I was past watching such films, but the older I get, the more I enjoy them. They have simple sweet plots, the characters are most often kind people with normal life problems, and they treat each other respectfully. In short, they are really films about normal ordinary people to whom I can relate. Some few of them are memorable; others are forgettable, but quite enjoyable to watch. I'd rather watch them these days instead of filling my mind and soul with disturbing and violent images from crime films and series. The real world is full of both, so I no longer need to see them on film. 

Dua Lipa's Electricity

I wasn't sure what to make of this song when I first heard it. But the more I've listened to it, the more it's grown on me. Dua Lipa is such a good singer, and I enjoy the riffs in this song. Enjoy!

Preparing for Christmas

Christmastime is one of my favorite times of the year. It's the feeling in the air, the sense that something is happening around you, the feelings of hope and anticipation. I never fail to be inspired and moved by the hope and spirit of this season. Advent is the time we have to prepare for Christmas, and as I wrote in one of my previous posts, I have fond memories of preparing for Christmas as children in grammar school. I can remember some of those times like they were yesterday, they have so much meaning for me. Many of those times are coupled to what we did in grammar school, but also what we did with our parents. What we do together with children to prepare for Christmas is something they will remember for their whole lives, whether it is baking cookies or making gingerbread houses, going to Christmas exhibitions and markets, going to church and looking at the nativity creche, or going to see The Nutcracker ballet (for the umpteenth time--I never tire of it, although it is always sold-out now here in Oslo long before I get around to buying tickets). My parents took us into Manhattan a few times to walk around and look at the department store windows (Macy's, Lord & Taylor, Bloomingdale) that always had beautiful Christmas decorations and scenes. Afterward, my father would buy roasted chestnuts from a street vendor; I remember to this day how much he liked them (and how much we didn't). He worked in Manhattan for many years; I remember he liked to go to the food section at Macy's at Herald Square before Christmas, where he bought Italian hard candy with different fruit fillings for us and plum pudding for my mother. He would also purchase a panettone, a sweet bread loaf with raisins and candied fruit that we ate every year for breakfast on Christmas Day. And he and my mother would also make struffoli, an Italian (Neapolitan) dessert made of deep fried (in peanut oil) marble-sized balls of dough that were then covered in honey and candy sprinkles. 

It is those memories of my family Christmases that I carry with me always and that I celebrate each year in combination with the Norwegian traditions of my husband's family that have now become our traditions. But beyond the cultural traditions, it is the religious and spiritual traditions of Advent that I remember well--having an Advent wreath with four candles, and lighting one for each of the four Sundays during Advent. When I was in my mid-twenties, my local church in New Jersey would have nights when we would distribute food we had made to the poor and homeless; it also sponsored evenings where we would get together at different people's homes to discuss the scriptures (a type of Bible study, I guess). We would also pick a charity and donate as a group to that charity. Our local church in Tarrytown where I grew up also had a gift tree with tags hanging on it; we would pick a tag and it would describe what gift was wished for by a young girl or boy, without naming their names. Sometimes they wanted toys, other times clothing. We would also collect canned foods and give them to the church that distributed them to struggling families who did not have enough food. My heart was always cheered by the sight of the huge piles of canned goods and food that were collected. We were raised to pay attention to those less fortunate than we were; we were raised to care about our fellow man, and to give because we had enough to give. The concept of giving to the less fortunate was not something we only did at Christmas, but for some reason, what we did during the Christmas season made a huge impression on me, especially as a child.

The priest at church today talked about finding time for prayer during Advent. He said something that struck me as so true--that God makes contact with us (initiates it) in many ways, giving us countless opportunities to get in touch, so that our prayers are not so much requests for something we want from God as responses to God's attempts to contact us. That makes prayer a two-way street and I like that idea. It makes the connection near and personal, and it is a reminder to pay attention to what happens around us, because what happens around us and in our daily lives are the possibilities we have to listen to the voice of God and to prepare for Christ's coming.

An Advent prayer

I found this picture online (https://www.lords-prayer-words.com/times/advent_prayers.html) when I was searching for Advent prayers. I thought it was perfect for Advent--a star to guide us 'home'.

My favorite Christmas movies and television classics

• It's a Wonderful Life (1946) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0038650/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• Miracle on 34th Street (1947) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039628/?ref_=nv_sr_1 
• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058536/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059026/?ref_=nv_sr_2
• Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060345/?ref_=nv_sr_3
• Scrooge (1970) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066344/
• The Snowman (1982) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084701/?ref_=nv_sr_3
• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097958/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• Home Alone (1990) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099785/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107688/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• Finding Father Christmas (2016) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6245488/?ref_=rvi_tt

Advent and the Christmas season

This Sunday, December 2nd, is the first Sunday in Advent. There are four such Sundays before Christmas, which gives us good time to prepare spiritually for Christmas. I remember when we were children in Catholic grammar school; we used to create a Jesse tree that we hung on the classroom wall. The Jesse tree was supposed to help us connect the Biblical events from creation to the birth of Jesus with the tradition of decorating Christmas trees (you can read more about the meaning of the Jesse tree here: https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/jessetrees.shtml). I don't remember what ornaments we hung on the Jesse tree, but they represented some Biblical story. What I do remember is that the Jesse tree, like Advent wreaths, made a lasting impression on me. We did all these things in art class, and I remember the feeling of doing these things and the sense of anticipation that accompanied them. We knew that we were celebrating the birth of Christ at Christmas. It was fun to anticipate what kinds of gifts we would get on Christmas Day, but it was also nice to have the time during Advent to prepare for Christmas. I have nice memories of grammar school and the things we did in class to prepare for Christmas. Our grammar school classes also sang Christmas carols at the local nursing home as I remember. The memories I have of that time are comforting; they contribute to that feeling of completion that is a part of the Christmas holidays for me. I know that even when I am old, I will feel the same way, much as my mother did. She looked forward to the Christmas season each year, and prepared for it in the same way each year up until she passed away. That was also comforting to see. It is a reminder of how important it is to have family traditions; how they draw us together and define us as a family. They contribute to the memories of childhood that I will treasure forever.

That feeling of anticipation remains even now, many years later. I like this time of year. I look forward to Advent, to the time to prepare for Christmas. All of the different preparations are bound together--religious traditions, family traditions, and cultural traditions (American, Norwegian, Italian and British). I always have an Advent calendar and try to find a religious-inspired one each year (not always so easy). I set out an Advent wreath or a candle holder with four places for candles that I light each Sunday during Advent. I still write Christmas cards that I send out to family and friends, and I try to find time to do some inspirational/spiritual reading during December.

In the USA, A Charlie Brown Christmas will be shown on TV early in December. That is a tradition that we grew up with in America and that we looked forward to every year. We sat and watched it together with our parents, who also enjoyed it. I have the DVD now and watch it each year, for the sweet reminder of what the Christmas season is really all about. We also watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas--also classics. Watching them reminds me of my parents and of our family.

Advent is many things to me, but it is the feelings of hope and anticipation that will permeate these next four weeks. I wish you all a good Advent--one filled with hope and anticipation, but also with time for reflection and solitude. For in the midst of all the merriment and social activities, it is good to find some time for quiet reflection.

Another post about leadership and new challenges

I have taken on a new role at work, one that's moved me out of my comfort zone into a more fast-paced daily existence. The fact that it happened at all is due to a new department leader who wanted to shake things up a bit, and she's done just that. She's given chances to new (untested) people like me rather than just settling for the old guard. I'm glad she's done that, because I was ready to step up to the plate, and I have. This past year has been a bit of a whirlwind in terms of contributing to all of the activities that are a part of my new job. I really enjoy contributing to building something new and to changing how things have been done. The tasks seem daunting at times, and sometimes I wonder what co-workers think when they're presented with the new ways of doing things. Are they skeptical or will they embrace change? I see that many of them are glad for the changes--they embrace them. Giving presentations on short notice, writing grant applications on short notice, leading meetings, and speaking up more--new challenges. I'm happy that I've learned to open my mouth more and express my opinions. The role requires meeting and talking to people, those I know and those I don't. It means meeting people where they are--I travel to meet them because I know that talking to them is valuable--for me and for my organization. It requires taking the reins and starting conversations, asking people for advice and giving it when asked. It requires problem solving, and I've realized that I genuinely enjoy problem solving; I finally understand that about myself--that I'm good at it. I like the puzzle aspect of it--how to fit the pieces together so that we get the results we want without alienating employees. Because no one wins when employees feel alienated. There is discussion and more discussion, but there is also taking the risk of making a decision that will affect employees' work lives. But that's ok, because when I look at my department leader, I realize that she is doing just that, taking the risk of making a decision without knowing for sure that it is the best decision to make. But it may be the right one--she and we cannot always know the outcome. Those are the leaders I will follow, because they do not require unquestioning loyalty, nor do they disrespect their employees. They can agree to disagree if necessary. But they do require their employees to move out of their comfort zone and to take responsibility. That's a leadership language I can speak and understand.