Saying goodbye to the old Tappan Zee Bridge

The old Tappan Zee Bridge over the Hudson River connects Tarrytown with Nyack; it was opened for traffic in 1955. After many years of use and multiple repairs, it was deemed unsafe and a new one was built and opened for traffic last year. Controlled demolition of the old one was scheduled for and carried out yesterday (some demolition started in 2017), and there are videos of the demolition on all the news channels, social media, and YouTube. The demolition will live forever in the internet universe. I never imagined that the demolition of a bridge would affect me the way it has; it made me quite sad. And it's clear to me that I'm not the only person who feels that way. I have driven over that bridge countless times, on my way to visit my sister in upstate NY, or to visit friends on that side of the river, or to connect with the Palisades and Garden State Parkways. I can still connect with the parkways via the new bridge, and a lot of people I know have told me that there is less traffic on the new bridge. All well and good. Change usually means progress--change for the better--that I cannot deny. And of course, I understand that there are only so many repairs that can be done before a new bridge is necessary for safety reasons. But still, I will miss the old bridge. I will miss looking out over the Hudson River from different vantage points and different Hudson River towns and seeing its characteristic shape. It was a beautiful bridge that figured into a lot of the photos I've taken over the years. It was a landmark. And every time I approached the bridge when driving from New Jersey or back from upstate, I felt somehow safe again, because I knew that once I crossed it, I was back in my hometown.

The new bridge is not called the Tappan Zee Bridge, but rather the Governor Mario M. Cuomo bridge, a rather unpopular renaming move by the governor of New York State, Andrew Cuomo (Mario's son). For those of us who grew up in Tarrytown, renaming the new bridge in this way is a slap in the face of our history, and there is a movement afoot to fight the name change in court. We'll see how far it gets.

Some of my previous posts have dealt with the Tappan Zee Bridge and the Hudson River; I'm including the links here if you'd like to read them:
https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/2018/09/check-out-tappan-zee-bridgeoldtzb-on.html
https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/2010/07/tale-of-two-rivers.html

After rereading my earlier posts, I understand my emotional connection to the old bridge even more. Yes, it was an inanimate object, but for us Tarrytowners, it was so much more. We grew up with the old bridge. It grew older, we grew older right along with it. We are from that generation, and the bridge is a part of us, forever.

A Star is Born--2018

Bradley Cooper's A Star is Born is a beautiful movie. I saw it this past Thursday evening, and it has stayed with me since then. Besides being a beautiful movie, it is a moving one--a love story that reaches in, grabs your heart, and doesn't let go. I haven't felt this way about a film since Brokeback Mountain from 2005. A Star is Born has gotten excellent reviews all the way around, and that is not surprising. I was thinking about why the film works so well; after all, this is the fourth remake of the original film from 1937. I haven't seen the original film or the other remakes, but I feel sure that this film, apart from the original, is the best. I think it comes down to the two leads, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Both play vulnerable characters who open up to each other and who fall in love. Both are singers, one on the way up (Ally, played by Lady Gaga) and one on the way down (Jackson Maine, played by Bradley Cooper). Jackson Maine is struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction; his career as a country singer has peaked and he knows it. When he begins to sing together with Ally after 'discovering' her in a drag bar where she performs at times, he understands that she is what he needs, both professionally and personally. But other people recognize her talent and do not want him and his addictions to stand in her way, with a tragic outcome. It's a story that's been told many times in many different ways, but this one works. It's been brought up-to-date, with Ally being able to move between a number of different song genres, from country music to pop.

In my opinion the film works because the chemistry between Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga is real, raw, palpable. You feel it every time they look at each other, hug each other, or touch each other. You feel that they care for each other, and you feel for them when their relationship falls on hard times. Their chemistry has been commented upon by many movie reviewers and the stars themselves. The movie is filmed in an intimate manner, with close-ups of their faces and expressions, which creates the effect that we are right there with them. There is a vulnerability and an ease between them that works; there is nothing slick or superficial about their relationship. I found myself thinking that this is the way many romantic relationships start, with that vulnerability and ease. They are beautiful things if you are lucky enough in your life to experience them; they are what we are always seeking a return to, and if we are lucky enough, we find them again and fall in love with our partner all over again.

But it occurred to me as well that both Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga experienced that vulnerability in their real lives when making this film, not just in their characters' lives onscreen. Cooper is an actor, not a singer (or director--this is his first time as director), and Lady Gaga is a singer, not an actor; yet both of them moved out of their 'safe' zones to try something new, with amazing results. Cooper can sing, and Lady Gaga can act. Additionally, Lady Gaga knows what it takes to reach the top, and I feel sure that she drew on those experiences and used them in creating Ally. The performances of the other actors in this film are also worth lauding--Sam Elliot as Jackson's brother Bobby, and Andrew Dice Clay as Lorenzo Campana, Ally's father.

Cooper and Lady Gaga supported each other and brought out the best in each other, and created a film that will last, that will still move you half a century from now. That is an amazing feat and one to be proud of--to know as the director, and as actors, that you have created a film that is already assured a place in posterity.

Two of my favorite prayers

Two of my favorite prayers--they contain all the wisdom needed to help us through our lives. 

The Serenity Prayer        (Reinhold Niebuhr--1892-1971)

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; 

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

enjoying one moment at a time; 

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will; 

that I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next. 

Amen.

(It is the first part of this prayer that most people remember, but the last part is equally wise). 

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Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

New Year's resolutions and goals

I normally don't make New Year's resolutions, although I do set a few specific goals for myself. Last year it was to read twenty books during the year (I signed up for the Goodreads challenge), and I achieved that goal. I also vowed to write at least twelve blog posts per month, and I met that goal as well. But the reason I don't make resolutions is because they are often too vague--exercise more, eat more vegetables, etc. I try to follow them, but I know I will not live up to those resolutions in the same way as I try to meet my goals. I think the difference is the level of commitment. A resolution is more of a decision to do something without necessarily being committed to doing it, whereas a goal involves commitment to a vision of how one wants the future to work out. It is the commitment part that drives me; once I set a goal, I want to achieve it.

This year I have goals as well, and they involve publishing the books I have been working on for the past several years. I won't do the Goodreads challenge this year, so that I can devote more time to finishing my own books. I will continue to write this blog, but the number of posts will vary each month as they always have (except in 2018).

Books, movies, photography, traveling, and writing are the interests that I try to prioritize. In many instances, I can combine several of these, e.g. traveling, photography and writing, and produce a photo-essay that describes where we've been and what we've experienced. But otherwise, reading and movies facilitate a type of travel that I have long been used to. Ever since I was a child, I have traveled to new realms in these ways. I will continue to do so in the coming years.

Looking back on 2018 and the need for hope

What a year--2018. Looking back, I'd say it was a whirlwind of a year for me personally. My work life took an unexpected turn for the better, and as the old expression goes, 'I never looked back' once I hopped on this new train--a new focus area and one for which I seem to be suited. It could all change in an instant; I am fully aware of that, but that is the beauty of growing older. One has been down those paths before, so one is less surprised if it all goes to hell again. I hope it won't, but the universe might have other plans, so it's just to stay open to new possibilities and opportunities.

I realized too how important traveling is for broadening our horizons, and planning a trip to a new place each summer has become a fun occupation. I want to explore more of Great Britain--more of England, Scotland, and Wales. I'd love to revisit Italy in order to take in Florence and Sienna. I'd like to see Spain and Portugal as well. I have a feeling we'll get there, one country at a time. For that reason (and a few others), I really do look forward to retirement and to taking some longer trips with my husband and my friends.

But one doesn't always need to physically travel to a new place in order to broaden one's horizons; one need only pick up a good book that will take you where you want to go (or sometimes where you never thought about going). I have rediscovered how interesting American history is, thanks to Caroline Fraser and her wonderful book Prairie Fires--The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder. If there is one book I can recommend from this year's reading, it is this one. I have mentioned it before in a previous post (https://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com/2018/08/book-recommendation-biography-of-laura.html), but it bears repeating--the USA has been through some pretty dark times, and it has survived them--climate changes, rampant corruption, economic depressions, widespread poverty, political uproars and turmoil, world wars, and so much more. Our country has had great presidents and terrible presidents. It survived them. We will survive. We may need to undergo some forms of renewal (much like the Catholic church needs to do in order to deal with the sexual abuse scandals), but we will survive. There is comfort in knowing that, and that is what learning about our history gives us--new realizations about where we come from, and even insights about where we might be headed.

Despite the current political chaos that reigns in the White House, our country will survive. The founding fathers built many checks and balances into our system of government. It may seem as thought they are failing one by one, but they are not. The majority of politicians still believe in something good; one must hope that they will rise to the challenge of defending our country's honor and dignity. And if they cannot do it, that we the people must do it for them. Our ancestors left Europe to find a better life in America; perhaps some found that, while others didn't. What they did find was the chance to figure it out for themselves, to think for themselves, to take responsibility for their own lives. They took a risk, and we must take risks too, in order to preserve the freedoms that we have fought to attain. We must not be complacent, self-satisfied, or slothful. We cannot afford to be any of those things. We must find it in our hearts to be grateful and hopeful, because from gratitude and hope spring all that is good, and we must translate our gratitude and hope into positive action.

Light in the darkness

The darkest time of the year--December. Short days, late sunrises, early sunsets. Some beautiful skies at sunrise and sunset. But mostly, there is dark until the snow comes to cloak the veil of night. And then Christmastime comes, with the accompanying Christmas lights and decorations. They are a comforting sight. I try sometimes to imagine a world without the sun, a world plunged into total darkness, day in and day out. It is not a world I would want to live in. I do enjoy taking some night walks, as long as there are city and street lights to keep me company and to light my way. I would not want to live out in the wilderness, say in a forest without light of any kind at night. My imagination would run wild. We are now past the winter solstice, and moving toward longer and lighter days, thankfully.

Here are some recent photos--light in the darkness--heartening every time I see them.

Insights about forgiveness

The difficult situations that we face in our lives challenge our capacity to forgive, especially when we have been hurt by another. I know from personal experience that forgiveness is not something that can be hurried or forced. You cannot simply 'forgive and forget' at the drop of a hat. It's not that easy. Eckhart Tolle seems to have understood that, because he writes so insightfully about forgiveness in his book, A New Earth. I have not read his book, but I run across excerpts from it from time to time, that I think are worth sharing.

It requires honesty to see whether you still harbor grievances, whether there is someone in your life you have not completely forgiven, an "enemy." If you do, become aware of the grievance both on the level of thought as well as emotion, that is to say, be aware of the thoughts that keep it alive, and feel the emotion that is the body's response to those thoughts. Don't try to let go of the grievance. Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when you see that it has no purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place. The seeing is freeing. Jesus' teaching to "Forgive your enemies" is essentially about the undoing of one of the main egoic structures in the human mind. The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. And what is a grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.

~Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth pg.66)

A peaceful Christmas scene

Comparing religion and the gospel

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today, and I thought it was worth sharing:

Thoughts to reflect upon--Staying Catholic at Christmas--by Ross Douthat

I found this opinion piece to be well-written; it offers food for thought in this chaotic world, a world that includes a Catholic church that faces and has faced sexual scandals that are appalling. I've written about this before, but this article sums up how many Catholics are feeling about their religion and their church these days. Well-worth reading........

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/22/opinion/catholic-christmas-church.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage

The man who captured divine light in his paintings

Thomas Kinkade's paintings capture light in a way that no other paintings manage to do, at least the paintings I have seen up to this point in my life. There is absolutely something divine about that light and the feelings it creates in the viewer. The closest I can come to adequately describing his paintings is that they portray a vision of heaven, a vision that I can relate to--coming home, the feeling of belonging somewhere (inclusive), family, love, warmth, spirituality, inspiration, joy, and pastoral settings that are all about peace. They tap into a universal longing in us all--the longing to be a part of an all-encompassing love as felt in that light, and to feel that peace; they are divinely-inspired. Perhaps the artist felt that longing as well; his personal life was certainly not as peaceful as the life portrayed in his paintings. Regardless of how Kinkade lived his life, he had a God-given talent that he used well to produce some beautiful paintings. He did not hide 'his light under a bushel basket'. His critics have accused him of being overly-sentimental, among other things, but I don't agree with them. I don't find his paintings sentimental, I find them to be spiritually-influenced visualizations of how life could be, and perhaps that is what the artist both longed for and wished to impart.

Making struffoli for the holidays

An Italian tradition that my father and mother followed each Christmas when we were children--making struffoli. They made it together, sitting at the dining room table. My mother would roll out the dough, and my father would cut small pieces of the dough and roll them into small balls that my mother would fry in peanut oil. Once they were drained and cooled, she would pile them all together on a big plate and cover them with honey and some candy sprinkles. Struffoli are to die for, and we loved them. We could never really get enough of them. They're sticky, gooey and wonderful.

Here is a photo of struffoli that resembles the struffoli my parents made, and a recipe for struffoli that my parents used. 

(photo from https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/struffoli-51203810)

This is the struffoli recipe my parents used (from my father's mother who was born in Caserta, Italy, very near Naples):

• Mix 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour and 1/4 tsp salt.
• Add 4 beaten eggs, slowly, and then 1/2 tsp vanilla. Mix to make a soft dough. 
• Turn dough onto a lightly-floured board. Knead, then divide dough in half. Roll each half to form 1/4-inch wide long strips. 
• Cut each strip into pieces 1/4 to 1/2 inch long. Roll into small balls. 
• Fill a 2-quart saucepan up to the halfway mark with peanut oil. Fry as many of the small balls as can float, over medium heat. Fry until brown. 
• Drain the struffoli on absorbent paper. Let cool. 
• Place the contents of a 16-ounce jar of honey in a small saucepan. Add 2 tsp sugar. Boil until clear. 
• Take the cooled struffoli and dip pieces in the clear honey, arrange them on a plate, and cover with candy sprinkles. 

This year's Christmas editions of favorite comic strips

This is one tradition I look forward to every year at Christmastime here in Norway. They have a tradition of publishing Christmas editions (julehefter) of everyone's favorite comic strips, including Donald Duck and other Disney characters, as well as Blondie, Beetle Bailey, and Calvin & Hobbes (called Tommy og Tigern in Norway). Here is a sampling of this year's Christmas editions that I've purchased:

Reminders of past times with loved ones

I bought four more Christmas films so that I can watch them whenever I want during this holiday season:

• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058536/?ref_=nv_sr_1
• Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060345/?ref_=nv_sr_3
• Scrooge (1970) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066344/
• The Snowman (1982) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084701/?ref_=nv_sr_3

Scrooge will forever remind me of my brother and my mother, who both loved the film. So I know I will be feeling nostalgic for the times I spent with them at Christmas while I am watching this movie. They also loved the film The Snowman. Christmases now and in the future will always be a reminder of loved ones who have passed. While I don't focus on death or sadness, they are both a part of life. There is no real life without them. Experiencing sadness makes the happy times in life happier, because one knows what sadness really is, so that one can appreciate and be thankful for the happy times. 

I've been watching a lot of Hallmark Christmas films on one of the local channels here in Oslo that has been showing a Christmas film each day during December. I haven't been able to watch them all, but the ones I have watched are sweet, often romantic films, that follow a tried-and-true pattern: boy meets girl or girl meets boy, they are attracted to each other but other things get in the way of their being together, there are often trials they have to overcome before they can acknowledge their feelings for one another, and then finally, they can be together. I thought I was past watching such films, but the older I get, the more I enjoy them. They have simple sweet plots, the characters are most often kind people with normal life problems, and they treat each other respectfully. In short, they are really films about normal ordinary people to whom I can relate. Some few of them are memorable; others are forgettable, but quite enjoyable to watch. I'd rather watch them these days instead of filling my mind and soul with disturbing and violent images from crime films and series. The real world is full of both, so I no longer need to see them on film. 

Dua Lipa's Electricity

I wasn't sure what to make of this song when I first heard it. But the more I've listened to it, the more it's grown on me. Dua Lipa is such a good singer, and I enjoy the riffs in this song. Enjoy!