Monday, November 18, 2013

Gratitude

We celebrated Thanksgiving early this year. It’s usually not possible to celebrate it on the same Thursday as in the USA, since Norway does not celebrate the holiday. Even if I wanted to celebrate it on the same day, I’d have to take that Thursday off from work, as would any of the guests who might want to join us for the festivities. So for the past twenty-three years I’ve usually celebrated on the weekend following Thanksgiving in the States. But since we already have plans for the next two weekends, today (Sunday) was our celebration. Just my husband and me this year; all our usual guests had other plans. I asked my husband how he would feel if I stopped celebrating the holiday, and he said he would miss it. It’s true; he would miss it, because it’s become a part of our annual holiday repertoire. He’s appreciative of the gestures I make to share my culture, as I am grateful for the gestures he makes to share his. Since I moved here, I’ve made it a point to keep on celebrating the holidays I celebrated when I lived in the USA---Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day and Easter. Norwegians celebrate Christmas, New Year’s and Easter, so there’s pretty good overlap in terms of food and drink; in recent years Halloween and Valentine’s Day have become a part of their society, albeit on a much smaller commercial scale than in the USA. The Norwegian postal service offers some really nice Valentine’s Day stamps; I’ll have to scan in some of the first day covers for Valentine’s Day that I own and present them in a future post.  

It’s nice to have the holidays to look forward to and to prepare for each year. I might even say it’s become necessary for me to celebrate them. Doing so breaks up the long darkness that is winter here. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to celebrate them. The winters are not much worse weather-wise than they were in New York; it’s the short days and the black darkness that get to you after a while. So the holidays are a way to get me through each dark month of winter. By the time Valentine’s Day is over, the darkness has lifted, and the promise of spring, summer and long sunlit days is in the air. In that sense, I am grateful for all the holidays each year; each holiday has its special charm. Thanksgiving especially is a holiday for reflection on all those things that we have to be grateful for. It is not about shopping or bargains or football, even though it may seem that way sometimes. It is about family and the ties that bind, about being thankful for them and for good friends. I remember when we were in our teens, our friends lived right around the corner, and after dinner, we hung out at each other’s houses or went for walks around the town. We always stopped in to say hello to our friends’ parents at some point. Those friends are still my friends today, my oldest and dearest friends, and I am grateful for their friendship. I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Thanksgiving is also about being thankful for the bounties that America enjoys. In that sense, Norway has much to be grateful for as well; its oil wealth is certainly a bounty. We don’t always realize that we are blessed; often we are too busy kvetching or constantly on the lookout for the next new thing that will better our lives. We actually have all that we need; we just need to appreciate our lives more, and appreciate the life around us.  

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Quotes about meanness

I was thinking about meanness today, about how the world seems to have gotten much harder and meaner. How workplaces have also. Or have they always been so and it's just me whose eyes have been opened for good? It's best to focus on the positive in life, and I try to for the most part. But I cannot ignore the suffering and pain I see around me and much of it is the result of unkindness on the part of mean-spirited people who do not wish others well. The reasons for their meanness are no doubt many. I'm sure there are many explanations and excuses for their not aspiring to be kind people. So as I was reflecting on this topic today, I found these quotes about meanness. The first one especially is just as true today as when it was written in 1945 (from the book Cannery Row by John Steinbeck), perhaps more so now. Steinbeck is spot on with his description of the traits of success that we claim to detest, but oh how 'successful' individuals in society who possess these traits are held in awe. We tend to forget (or perhaps we just want to forget) that ‘making it’ in terms of success may involve behaviors that are not very nice at all. The last quote is one of my all-time favorites. 
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It has always seemed strange to me... the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.
--John Steinbeck

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.
--George Sand

I consider nothing low but ignorance, vice, and meanness, characteristics generally found where the animal propensities predominate over the higher sentiments.
--William John Wills

Empathy is really the opposite of spiritual meanness. It's the capacity to understand that every war is both won and lost. And that someone else's pain is as meaningful as your own.
--Barbara Kingsolver

All the meanness, all the revenge, all the selfishness, all the cruelty, all the hatred, all the infamy of which the heart of man is capable, grew, blossomed and bore fruit in this one word, Hell.
--Robert Green Ingersoll

False greatness is unsociable and remote: conscious of its own frailty, it hides, or at least averts its face, and reveals itself only enough to create an illusion and not be recognized as the meanness that it really is. True greatness is free, kind, familiar and popular; it lets itself be touched and handled, it loses nothing by being seen at close quarters; the better one knows it, the more one admires it.
--Jean de la Bruyere

In a lifetime of observing and participating in political debate, I have seen a lot of meanness.
--Dennis Prager

Like the Earth, the Web is a less appealing place than it used to be. If I want attitude and arguing and meanness and profanity and wrong information screamed at me as gospel, I'll get in a time machine and spend Christmas with my family in 1977.
--J. R. Moehringer

Be nice to those you meet on the way up. They’re the same folks you’ll meet on the way down.
--Walter Winchell

Friday, November 1, 2013

Some pretty cool Halloween pumpkins

From the Street Art in Germany Facebook page---some great Halloween pumpkins that I didn't get a chance to post yesterday, but am posting today. Jean, check out the minions!!!




Sunday, October 27, 2013

Autumn leaves

The trees in the park at Kjellands plass have shed a lot of their leaves, so I was out today with my camera and took more photos of the lovely autumn trees and leaves.....








Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Headless Horseman leads the way























I’m sharing a pretty cool photo with you today; for those of you who grew up in Tarrytown or North Tarrytown (now Sleepy Hollow) New York, you’ll understand why I was so taken with this photo. It shows the Sleepy Hollow High School (SHHS) football team being led onto the field by the Headless Horseman (of the The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving fame). The Headless Horseman is apparently their mascot, and this photo was taken right before a recent game against their arch-rival—Ossining High School. They beat them 41 to 32, so that was good news for SHHS fans.


I grew up in Tarrytown as most of you know. My parents were big fans of the SHHS football team when we were growing up, so many Saturdays during the autumn found us in the bleachers watching the team play its season games. What I remember was the excitement and electricity in the air—that sense of life or death that can only be understood by die-hard sports fans. A bad call by a referee that led to our team’s defeat was the worst that could happen and was talked about for hours after the game. I remember the sounds of the players hitting and tackling each other, and the cheerleaders who led us in chants and songs. But what I also remember was freezing my butt off sitting in the bleachers in early November; I was dressed for the cold weather, but it’s tough to sit outdoors in the cold and rain, as often happened, for hours at a time. I remember feeling miserable and just wanting to go home on some occasions, which of course was what happened if it got too unbearable. But mostly, we were loyal supporters and a win by our team could make our day. The cold and rain were forgotten when our team won. I guess that’s how it should be; after all, the players and the cheerleaders were also cold and wet, but kept right on doing their jobs. There’s something to be said for that kind of dedication, and for that kind of loyalty on the part of the supporters. 

This photo was taken by photographer Patrick Tewey; check out his website at http://www.patricktewey.com/

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Be the Best in Business: Managing Change: Does Urgency Create Resistance?

Did you ever wonder why some companies manage to change what needs to be changed within their organizations without alienating their employees, while others fail miserably, losing the respect and trust of their employees in the process? This recent post from the blog--Be the Best in Business: Managing Change: Does Urgency Create Resistance?--provides some really good insights about how change can be managed successfully in a business. The author says that a company that views change as an urgent issue will create stressed and resistant employees and is not the way to get those most affected by change--'employees in the trenches'--on board or on your side. As the post says 'Guiding change may be the ultimate test of a leader, since no business survives over the long term if it can’t reinvent itself. But human nature being what it is, fundamental change is often resisted mightily by the people it most affects: those in the trenches of the business. Thus, leading change is both absolutely essential and incredibly difficult'. 

Finally, an article that tells it like it really is, that considers change from the perspective of employees but that also discusses how a company can get its employees to understand that change is healthy and a part of business development. Well-done. I wish I had read this a few years ago, when urgent and immediate change (for the sake of change) was the predominant operative in my workplace. The sense of 'crisis and urgency' was palpable on a daily basis and did not lead to either productivity or job satisfaction. It merely created employee dissatisfaction that has persisted to this day. There were definitely better ways to approach the idea of change, but leadership at that time failed to find them. 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A new favorite song--Safe and Sound by Capital Cities





Just what we need sometimes--to let go, dance and be happy..............




Safe and Sound


Songwriters: Ryan Merchant and Sebu Simonian


I could lift you up
I could show you what you want to see
And take you where you want to be
You could be my luck
Even if the sky is falling down
I know that we'll be safe and sound
We're safe and sound

I could fill your cup
You know my river won't evaporate
This world we still appreciate
You could be my luck
Even in a hurricane of frowns
I know that we'll be safe and sound

(Safe and sound)
We're safe and sound
(Safe and sound)
We're safe and sound
(Hold your ground)
We're safe and sound
(Safe and sound)

I could show you love
In a tidal wave of mystery
You'll still be standing next to me
You could be my luck
Even if we're six feet underground
I know that we'll be safe and sound
We're safe and sound

Safe and sound
Safe and sound
Hold your ground
Safe and sound

I could lift you up
I could show you what you want to see
And take you where you want to be
You could be my luck
Even if the sky is falling down
I know that we'll be safe and sound

I could lift you up
I could show you what you want to see
And take you where you want to be
You could be my luck
Even if the sky is falling down
I know that we'll be safe and sound

We're safe and sound
We're safe and sound
We're safe and sound
We're safe and sound

(Safe and sound)
We're safe and sound
(Safe and sound)
We're safe and sound
(Hold your ground)
We're safe and sound
(Safe and sound)
We're safe and sound

-------------------------

Monday, October 21, 2013

10 Risks Happy People Take Every Day

Just another really good blog that I have recently begun to follow. I am learning something (or relearning something) every day. Usually the things I've relearned are the things I forgot were important. Like being happy about who I am and not trying to please everyone else. Why haven't I learned this by now? Because the reality is that there is no pleasing everyone. The answer is--just because we are adults doesn't mean we've reached the summit of learning and understanding. We're still climbing, still reaching for knowledge and insight, all of us. Here are some good tips on living each day as it comes, taking risks, and being happy.

10 Risks Happy People Take Every Day

Friday, October 18, 2013

Be the Best in Business: Just How Confusing Can We Make Leadership?

I follow this blog--Be the Best in Business--here on Blogger, and this particular post spoke to me, since I am very interested in the behavior of workplace leaders. It highlights much of what is wrong with the modern workplace in terms of its leadership, and does so in a clear and straightforward manner. Absolutely worth reading.

Be the Best in Business: Just How Confusing Can We Make Leadership?: Daniel Goleman asked the question that many people have; "what do effective leaders do?" and you'll hear a host of answers...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

San Francisco and the year of living wonderfully

San Francisco was our home for one year in 1993. It’s hard to believe that twenty years have passed since we lived there. We have not been back since, although a return visit is on my bucket list. I wrote a long post in March 2012 about our time spent in this beautiful city (http://paulamdeangelis.blogspot.no/2012/03/my-heart-and-san-francisco.html), and how privileged we were to have had the experience of working and living there. I did not include any photos in that post. To commemorate the 20th anniversary of the year we spent there, I am including some photos of us and the different places we experienced, as well as of the guests who visited us in our apartment that we rented in the Victorian-style house on Carl Street. It was the first apartment that we looked at, and it was the one we wanted, despite having seen larger ones. We got it, even though we had to wait a month for renovations to be finished so that we could move in. Looking back on the year we spent there, I’d have to say it’s one of the most special and memorable years of our married life. We did so much together in SF—forever memories. It was a city of unknowns for us, unexplored territory that we explored and tackled together—a joint adventure—a good thing for a marriage. 

Golden Gate Bridge

Golden Gate Bridge shrouded in fog

261-B Carl Street--the tall grayish building in the center of the photo--our apartment was on the top floor to the left

driving through Mt. Tamalpais state park

'The skylined beauty' is how my husband's uncle Ã…ke described me in this photo that he took

my husband standing next to our rented Thunderbird

my stepdaughter and a friend

Trond's aunt Gunvor and her husband Ã…ke, visiting us in San Francisco, a wonderful memory and nice photo of them

friends visiting--Gisele and Celia

rollerbladers dancing in Golden Gate Park

October 1993--a pumpkin patch in time for Halloween

the wine country in the Napa Valley--truly heaven on earth in my opinion--just beautiful

autumn comes to the wine country 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Autumn comes to the Oslo fjord

Autumn has been exceptionally lovely this year. The colors of the leaves--the reds, oranges and yellows--bold and pretty. The blue skies, warm temperatures; yesterday the temperature at midday was about sixty degrees Fahrenheit. Pretty good for Oslo. In previous years, it has been cold and gray already by mid-October. So in addition to a warm and sunny summer, I am grateful for this autumn, for the gradual transition from warm to cold. We were out on the boat yesterday for a few hours, and I took some photos of the trees and the foliage. My husband and boat captain Trond drove the boat around to the places I've photographed, before the boat decided that it had had enough for the day (motor problems). Enjoy!

Frognerkilen harbor




Oscarshall castle on the Bygdøy peninsula, Oslo, Norway







restaurant on the island of Gressholmen

Gressholmen

sailboat off the island of Hovedøya

Hovedøya foliage

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Some good quotes about leadership

  • “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” ~ Jack Welch
  • “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” ~ John Quincy Adams
  • “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower
  • “I was never the smartest guy in the room. From the first person I hired, I was never the smartest guy in the room. And that’s a big deal. And if you’re going to be a leader – if you’re a leader and you’re the smartest guy in the world – in the room, you’ve got real problems.” ~ Jack Welch
  •  “Too many companies believe people are interchangeable. Truly gifted people never are. They have unique talents. Such people cannot be forced into roles they are not suited for, nor should they be. Effective leaders allow great people to do the work they were born to do.” ~ Warren  Bennis
  • “Leadership is an action, not a position.” ~ Donald McGannon
  •  “The challenge of leadership is to be strong but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly” ~ Jime Rohn
  • “Leaders think and talk about the solutions. Followers think and talk about the problems.” ~ Brian Tracy
  • “Successful leaders see the opportunities in every difficulty rather than the difficulty in every opportunity” ~ Reed Markham
  • “Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.” ~ Colin Powell
  • “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes… and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes.” ~ Tony Blair
  •  “Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position.” ~ Brian Tracy

Monday, October 7, 2013

Updates on my writing

Those of you who follow this blog know that I am constantly trying to find time to write, whilst employed full-time as a scientist, and after that, busy with running a home. Like most people, I try to find free time in the midst of all the other things that just have to get done. There’s always been something more important than my writing through the years, especially when I was younger, so that I often ended up pushing it aside in order to do something else that seemed more important at the time. During the past four years I’ve written blog posts about prioritizing your soul’s dreams, visions, inner goals, secret goals. I had to carve out time in the evenings, several times a week, to write. Time for my blog, or to create a poem or short story. I’m happy to say that finally, after several years of working and writing in this way, I’ve put together a new collection of poems, called Remnants of the Spirit World, that I sent off today to my colleague and friend Paloma who will work on formatting the book and designing the cover. When her creative work is done, I will be sending it off for publication. I am nearly finished with my collection of short stories, called Survivable Losses; these stories have been tough for me to write, because I’ve had to face up to some of the pain involved in writing them. They are not autobiographical, but some of the themes are, in the sense that I’ve experienced, like many others, betrayal and loss of love, as well as resignation to the things that just happen in life that we are unable to change. Writing about them rips the scabs off the wounds again; but I am glad for the experience of being able to feel pain in order to write about it. And finally, I am nearly finished with my novella, called In the Halls of the Kings, a mini-thriller about a female academic scientist who teams up with another female academic to expose the dealings of a ruthless and potentially fraudulent scientist. This too will hopefully find its way to publication before the end of the year.

I’ve been an avid observer for most of my life, starting when I was about ten years old, when I began to pay attention to what went on in my home and in the homes of relatives and family friends. I became keenly aware of all that was not said, of body language, of what people’s eyes said, and of superficial conversations that masked what was really going on inside. I observed the nice and not-so-nice characters that peopled my life and the life of my family. Recently, I read a quote that appealed to me ‘Be nice to those around you; they may write about you’. Strangely enough, there’s a lot of truth in this one. I don’t write directly about specific people in my life; my works are fiction, but my characters can be modeled on the traits or characteristics of some people I’ve met. I have fewer qualms about using the traits and personalities of the not-so-nice people I know, because their motives and desires are often so crystal clear—power, domination of others, prestige, and greed—often all in one unsavory package.

Here are some quotes to help you when you get stuck on the path of reaching your own goals. Maybe being stuck takes the form of a creative mental block, or procrastination, or lack of self confidence/belief in oneself. I know these quotes have helped me. They’re hanging as magnets on my refrigerator—a gift from Sonja, the niece of one of my closest friends, who visited us in Oslo five years ago. I met Sonja for the first time then, and was immediately taken with her spirit, energy and exuberant personality. She is a go-getter, an adventurer, a life-tackler, and has already achieved much in her thirty odd years here on this earth. In short, she is an inspiration.

  • ‘Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown known is the important thing’. –Georgia O’Keefe
  • ‘Go on working, freely and furiously, you will make progress’. –Paul Gauguin
  • ‘The artist goes through states of fullness and emptiness, and that is all there is to the mystery of art’. –Pablo Picasso

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Getting into autumn

Autumn has arrived, according to the calendar. It’s shaping up to be a very nice season here in Oslo, just as summer was. I realized the other day that it’s the transition from summer to fall that can sometimes get me down, those two or so weeks around the end of September where suddenly we’re wearing jackets, when just last week we didn’t need them. My body protests against the sudden chill in the air. But once we’re firmly planted in the next season, I adjust. It’s been easier this year because the weather has gradually moved from warm to chilly. So that means warm blue-sky sunny days (still) and chilly evenings (nice for walking). Quite ok with me. The weather reports don’t really do the weather justice at all. Yesterday for example, was a gorgeous blue-sky warm day in Oslo (some clouds), whereas the weather report said ‘partly cloudy’ and that was that. We took our bikes and cycled through the city, ending up biking along Enebakkveien down to where the footpath along the Alna River more or less starts, and then we made our way up along the river, a roller coast ride if ever there was one—up one hill and down and then up again, until we got to Bryn. Good training for those who like their hills. At Bryn, we checked out the old railway station from 1854—one of those great old buildings that are no longer in fashion architecturally--before we turned around and cycled back to Grunerlokka to the Farmer’s Market. About nine miles of biking round-trip. There were a lot of people milling about the Farmer's Market, eating elk burgers and chatting with the sellers. We bought nine liters of freshly-pressed apple juice; one of my husband’s friends and his wife have a lot of land that they have converted to apple orchards, so this is the season for harvesting and pressing to make juice. It’s so good. And the other day I took a nice walk from Aker Hospital down to Sinsenkrysset, then walked along Ring 3 to Storo, and then home, a distance of about three miles. A cloudy autumn day with a slight breeze, perfect for walking. Love being outdoors. I can see myself doing so much more of it when I am no longer working full-time. Something to look forward to…….

The four important F's

My friend Cindy, who is a retired minister, sends me different spiritual and inspirational reflections as she comes across them and thinks I...