Men who mistreat women

The Norwegian monarchy has come in for its share of criticism lately, what with the upcoming wedding of the king's daughter to a shaman, and the recent revelation that the son of the future queen has a (alleged) penchant for abusing the women in his life. Normally I don't care at all what goes on in the monarchy; I grew up in a country that went to war to rid us of the British monarchy. In this day and age kings and queens are good for PR but they have nothing to do with running a country. Thankfully. The current king and queen are good and decent people who have represented Norway well. I am sure that they are quite shellshocked by the recent doings of the future queen's son. 

Firstly, a young man who allegedly abuses women in this manner is not only a coward but a morally-weak person. He does not deserve any leniency at all as far as the criminal justice system goes. If he did what he is alleged to have done to one woman in particular--the most recent casualty--he borders on being a psychopath and is a danger to others. Hardly to himself; these types tend to put themselves first, being the egocentric moral vacuums and emotional vampires that they are. He seems to enjoy behaving badly when he is under the influence of alcohol and cocaine. I've seen enough aggressive and mean alcoholics in this country to last me a lifetime. I saw a few of them when I was a child too, so it's not necessarily country-specific. However, what is different here is how quickly some people 'turn' when under the influence of alcohol. Like Jekyll and Hyde. It's scary. 

Secondly, men who abuse women physically and psychologically deserve a special place in hell. When such abuse happens in your twenties (as in this case), it can scar you for life. It destroys trust, hope, faith, and belief in a better life and in a better relationship. One thing that helps is to talk about what happened with family and friends, as was the case here. And then to get the police involved, because physical abuse of others is a crime and should be prosecuted as such. The young women (two more have revealed similar instances of abuse by the same young man) are being interviewed by the police, as well they should. I'm hoping these women press charges so that this moral vacuum of a man will be forced to have his day in court. A reckoning. He will definitely have it when he meets his maker. Do I feel any compassion for him? No, I don't. And I doubt I ever will. Perhaps his mother can forgive him; perhaps his ex-girlfriends will be able to do the same one day. But I doubt it. 

This young man has now lawyered-up and it's anyone's guess if he will face prosecution. He did issue a statement saying he was sorry for behaving in this manner to his (now ex-) girlfriend (much like Diddy, another pathetic excuse for a real man, or Johnny Depp). The only reason Diddy made a statement was because there was a video that went viral of him abusing his former girlfriend, kicking her while she lay on the hotel floor in front of the elevators, and him dragging her by her hair back to their hotel room from which she had tried to escape. Another man under the influence of God knows what combination of drugs and alcohol. Another man who said that this violent person is not who he really is. Really? If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. He, and all the other abusers, do what they do because they get away with it for the most part. The women don't press charges; they should. The men blame the women (she nagged me, she made me do it). If it's true that the women nagged them, I can only imagine why (please stop drinking, please stop doing drugs, please stop yelling at me, please just talk to me). And if you are that unhappy with the women in your life, for God's sake, get a divorce or end the relationship. But no, you need to have complete power and control. Because in the end, abuse is all about power and control. I can hurt you, so I will, to keep you in line, to keep you under my thumb. The world would be a much better place without these aggressive tyrants who poison the lives of those with whom they come into contact. 

I made a decision a while ago, and have mostly stuck to it, that I will never travel to countries that do little or nothing to stop abuse of women. And I've traveled a fair amount in my life; those countries will never see my money. I'm not listing those countries here; it's easy to go online and google 'countries that have the highest rates of abuse of women'. I'd love if the tables turned, just once, so that male perpetrators experienced the abuse these women experienced. Then perhaps they would understand how harrowing it really is. Laws need to change, to become more stringent. The length of prison terms needs to increase drastically. We don't need to go backwards to a time when women 'obeyed' men. I find all of that kind of talk pure nonsense. If women can't live in a world where they can expect the same treatment under the law as a man, then they're better off single. Perhaps that's one reason why an increasing number of women don't want to marry or have children. It should at least be considered. 

Alien: Romulus--back to basics

It's not often these days that I buy a movie ticket to the premiere of a new movie, but I did so recently so that I could attend the first showing (last night) of the new Alien film--Alien: Romulus. I chose to watch it in ScreenX format, which simply means that the screen extends to the walls on both sides of the theater, about halfway up on each side. I wasn't impressed with this format, and interestingly enough, it 'disappeared' about a third of the way into the film. It's simply irritating and added nothing to the movie, which was very good, by the way. I give it four out of five stars. It's a non-stop roller coaster ride into an alien universe that is neither friendly nor habitable for human beings. It's simply a fight for survival by humans and aliens alike. And most of the time, the aliens win. 

The film takes us back to what made the original Alien films (Alien from 1979 and Aliens from 1986) so good. Those films were sci-fi horror at its best. The original Alien film was marketed with the tagline 'In space, no one can hear you scream'. The new film pays homage to these films while finding new ground; the xenomorph monsters in this film are essentially the same as in the original films (with one exception)--murderous and bent on survival at all costs, with corrosive acid for blood and the ability to prey on humans for food and for reproduction. They have a multi-stage life cycle, exhibit hive-like characteristics in terms of how they develop and live, and are fairly intelligent. In short, you don't want to mess with them. But the humans in all these films have no other choice, usually at their peril. 

The overall story is simple enough; a group of young people leave the slave-like working conditions on the perpetually dark planet they live on (Weyland-Yutani's Jackson’s Star mining colony) for a better life on the planet Yvaga III where the sun shines. In order to accomplish this, they need cryosleep chambers that will make the nine-year trip possible. They end up stealing these from a decommissioned space station that was actually a research station, now deserted, that was studying the aliens. Of course we know that this space station is not deserted, but rather inhabited by the xenomorphs, who have killed all the humans on board. I won't divulge the last part of the film or the ending, but suffice it to say that the director, Fede Alvarez, has done a great job of providing non-stop action and scares. The ending didn't really open for a sequel as far as I could determine, which is probably just as well. This film stands on its own as one of the best new entries into the repertoire of Alien films. 

The Paris Olympics

Apropos my last post, about unity being dead in the USA. The USA is not the only country with such problems. France has had its share of divisive politics and events over the past few years. The Paris Olympics seems to have united the country, at least for the time period within which the Games were held. The Paris Olympics were wonderful. Of course it helped to have Paris as the 'background' against which all else occurred. But it was mostly the Games themselves. They were riveting and exciting, with athletes whose excellence shone at every turn. It was a thrill to watch them perform. I haven't watched the Olympics (winter or summer) in years; I can't tell you why this one appealed to me. But it did. I was so impressed with Team USA's performances and wins. It made me proud of my country to see them do so well. Apparently many in the USA are in agreement with me; apparently it was the most-streamed Olympics of all time (Paris Olympics ratings soar 82% over Tokyo Games, delivering big boost to NBC’s Peacock streamer | CNN Business). Here in Norway, we streamed the games on MAX (formerly HBO Max), which did a great job. What was nice was that we were able to watch what we wanted when we wanted--live events and past events. We looked forward to our evening viewing. MAX did a very good job and provided a good overview of what was going on. 

What was also nice was that for two blessed weeks, the media didn't focus ad nauseam on the angry orange-haired man and his sidekick clone. We didn't have to hear about the former's latest tantrum/tirade. We could ignore it in favor of something that actually united the country. Thank God for that. In fact, thank God for two blessed politics-free weeks. We were able to breathe easy and relax. Relax. That's something very few of us do anymore. Of course the media tried their darndest to make a scandal out of everything, including the opening ceremony's alleged parody of the Last Supper. If it was indeed that, it was disrespectful and unnecessary. If it wasn't, it was a tempest in a teapot. I found that entire segment boring; in fact, the entire opening ceremony could have been cut down to three hours and that would have been fine. But I'm not going to nit-pick the entire opening ceremony. It is what it is. None of the opening or closing ceremonies are ever spectacular shows. The Paris Olympics closing ceremony ended on a beach in LA with Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre singing and a scantily-clad young woman twerking to the music. Vulgar in my book, unless you like women twerking. I don't. But hey, that's all part of it. Something for everyone, I guess. I enjoyed the segment with Tom Cruise, with Cruise doing what Cruise loves to do most in this world--jump from high places, into a packed stadium and out of a plane. God bless the guy; he's 62 and in better shape than most 62-year olds I know. I wouldn't do any of it, but I enjoy watching him do it. 

Los Angeles 2028--we'll see what time brings. In the meantime, I hope to make another trip to Paris in the coming years. After having seen it now for two weeks, I look forward to returning to the city. I've been there four times, twice with my friend Gisele who passed away last October. I know she would have enjoyed watching these Olympics and seeing Paris. Had she lived and been well, she would have bought an apartment in Paris; that was her dream that sadly did not come true. As I was watching these Olympics, I thought of her and our wanderings around Paris--eating, shopping, visiting museums, taking a bus tour to champagne country and visiting Versailles. My husband and I have been to Paris twice; the first time we went to the Moulin Rouge to see a show. We've also walked around Paris, visited Versailles, and taken a boat trip on the Seine. All of these are nice memories that the Paris Olympics brought back for me.  

Yup

 A very apt commentary by Lisa Benson on the state of USA politics at present......

Photos from Koblenz, Winningen, and the Moselle Valley

As promised, here are some photos from our recent trip to Koblenz, Winningen, and the Moselle Valley.....

The hotel where we stayed in Koblenz--recommended!

Architecture in Koblenz

More unique buildings

The Old Town (Altstadt) in Koblenz

The Old Town

The Old Town

Government office building near the pier where we boarded our boat

Stolzenfels Castle in Koblenz--seen from our boat

Another boat on the Rhine River near Braubach (where the boat turned)

Marksburg Castle in Braubach--seen from our boat 

Winningen

Winningen street

Winningen buildings/architecture

Driving through the Moselle Valley 

Vineyards on the hills

A very nice panorama view (and an aptly-named cafe) 

The beautiful Moselle Valley 

Vineyards everywhere

A steep climb to the top row

Think about harvesting grapes on this hillside!

Vacationing in Germany

This year, we decided to take a trip to Koblenz, Germany, which is a city on the banks of the Rhine and the Moselle rivers. In 2019, we biked along the Danube river for a week, starting in Passau, Germany and biking through some beautiful areas in Austria (A New Yorker in Oslo: Biking along the Danube River in Austria (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com). Our 'hotel' on that trip was a boat (the Theodor Körner) that followed us from destination to destination. It was a wonderful trip and I decided at that time that I would like to visit the Rhine river region as well. This time however we did not bike along the river, although that would have been possible, mostly because we also wanted to visit Berlin and Lubeck, so we opted for a three-day visit to Koblenz. We took the overnight car ferry to Kiel and drove from Kiel to Koblenz in one day. 

Koblenz is the city where the Rhine and Moselle rivers converge; the actual point of convergence is called the Deutsches Eck. The city is about 2000 years old, having been founded by the Romans as a military post. It has an 'old town' section called the Altstadt; this is a lovely area with many old and beautiful buildings, plazas, restaurants and cafes. We ate at an Italian restaurant one of the evenings we were there, and enjoyed very good food. One very hot afternoon was spent on a small cruise boat (La Paloma) that took us along the Rhine river for a two-hour trip. We got to see some old castles and beautiful scenery. Germany and Austria have preserved much of their history in the form of old buildings and castles. It's nice to see, especially since we live in a world that if given the chance, would knock down much of the old to make way for the new, usually ugly (but efficient) apartment buildings that have become representative of what is called new architecture. I dislike it intensely. 

We drove to the town of Winningen, about ten kilometers outside of Koblenz, on another afternoon. That was a lovely drive. Winningen is one of the cities in the Moselle valley that is worth visiting for its vineyards, lovely views, small cafes, and wine stores. We bought some Riesling wines while we were there. The Moselle river valley is synonymous with Riesling wines and is one of the oldest wine regions in Germany. The Moselle river cuts through the valley that has steep hills on both sides. Here you can see hundreds of vineyards dotting the hills. We wondered how the workers actually manage to harvest the grapes, since the hills are quite steep. After doing some reading, I understand that there have been a number of worker fatalities in earlier years because of the difficulties of harvesting the grapes. They have solved those problems so that workers can safely harvest the grapes. 

After Koblenz, we drove on to Berlin, where we stayed for two days. We've been to Berlin before, back in 2012 (A New Yorker in Oslo: Berlin's East Side Gallery (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com); A New Yorker in Oslo: Sunday evening in Berlin (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com). We always enjoy being there; the city has a very liberal and relaxed feel to it, despite being a large city. Our hotel was located right near the Spree River; the restaurant where we ate an excellent dinner one night was also located right on the river. We did a hop-on, hop-off bus ride one afternoon, and concluded that we had actually done and seen quite a lot in Berlin when we were there in 2012. We'll definitely visit it again at some point. 

We then drove on to Lubeck, a city in north Germany, where we stayed for one night. It also has an 'old town' that we walked around in the evening we were there. According to Wikipedia, "Lübeck's historic old town, located on a densely built-up island, is Germany's most extensive UNESCO World Heritage Site". It is a very charming city with lovely old buildings and churches. It was nice to have seen it. 

We then drove from Lubeck to Kiel, where we took the overnight car ferry back to Oslo. I don't know how many trips we've taken on this ferry route, but it's been many, since it is the major way for us to get to mainland Europe so that we can drive further to our respective destinations. There will be more such trips for sure. In my next post, I'll post some photos of our recent travels. For those of you who want to see where we drove, here is the google map summary: 

Watching the Paris Olympics

Let's see.......while we were on vacation, the world situation continued on its present path and in some instances, worsened. The saving grace since we returned home has been watching the Paris Olympics. I watched the entire opening ceremony and enjoyed it, although it could have been a hour shorter and no one would have missed some of the filler entertainment. I thought it was very cool that they used the Seine River as the basis for all that occurred. I know also that it was a risky decision, given that the weather is very unstable and unpredictable, everywhere you go these days. And as luck would have it, it rained for most of the evening. But we got to see some really good entertainment, capped off by a phenomenal performance from Celine Dion. The media have had mixed reactions to the opening ceremony, but I don't get hung up on all of that. If we stay focused on the impressive jobs the young athletes are doing, then the Olympics have been a success so far. The USA swimming and gymnastic competitors (women and men) are doing a fantastic job. Congrats to Katie Ledecky and Simone Biles and her team for outstanding work that led to their gold medals. Watching them win was thrilling. But it's also cool to see the other countries win gold--Leon Marchand--the swimmer from France (and their hero at present), and Sarah Sjostrom--the swimmer from Sweden, just to name two. 

I haven't been an avid Olympics watcher for many years. I don't know why this year I'm suddenly more interested. The number of daily events is overwhelming, so there's no possibility to watch more than a couple of sporting events and go about one's day at the same time. I grew up in a home that watched the Olympics, especially swimming, diving, track and field, and gymnastics. The USA currently dominates the medal board; I read today that as of July 31, the USA leads the medal count with 30 medals, followed by France with 26 and China with 19. That number of course will change over the coming days, but it's good to see a truly united USA doing so well. I wish that would apply to its politics. 

I root for my country to win, but I also root for other countries. I've always done that, even when I was young. Norway's beach volleyball team (men) is winning its games and is poised to take a gold medal eventually. Norway will also do well once track and field starts, as they have some truly excellent runners. It will be interesting to see how the USA does when those events begin. 

There's a positivity surrounding all sports events that is refreshing in this day and age. Perhaps that is one reason I am enjoying the Olympics--it's not all doom and gloom. The world still manages to unite in this way every four years without aggression, accusations, non-sportsmanlike behavior, etc. I'd like to think it could carry over into daily life. I'm optimistic, but I'm a realistic optimist, or an optimistic pessimist. However you look at life, if you have some time, check out the Olympics. There's something for everyone. 

Street art in Oslo--July 2024

As you walk or drive down the road to Mathallen in Oslo, you will see a stone wall on your left side. This has been painted with different murals depicting different situations and moods. I've posted some of Oslo's street art in previous posts (A New Yorker in Oslo: Street art in Oslo (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com); A New Yorker in Oslo: Some new street art in Oslo (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com); A New Yorker in Oslo: More Street Art in Oslo (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com); A New Yorker in Oslo: Street Art in Oslo III (paulamdeangelis.blogspot.com), but it's been a while since I've seen new street art. I'm not sure how long these murals have been here, but I really like them. I took some photos today so that you can make up your own minds. I'm happy to see the street art as long as it's not the boring ugly tagging that is tantamount to vandalism. Street art is done by talented people. 

My early July garden

I'm happy with my garden this year--happy with the way it looks, with the different plantings, with the perennials that have now grown high and wide. The latter take up space and fill in the gaps. I will probably need to divide some of them next year. Despite a chilly and rainy June, the garden is thriving. That's because it got off to a good start during May when it was warm and sunny. By warm I mean temperatures in the mid-70s. The pumpkins are the only plants that have been slow to grow. I doubt there will be many pumpkins this year, but there will be a good amount of zucchini, potatoes, and garlic. I tried two different kinds of garlic for the first time, and the plants are doing well. We picked a lot of strawberries and we'll have a lot of raspberries, gooseberries, black currants and red currants. I'm especially looking forward to harvesting the black raspberries; they always take longer to ripen than the regular red and yellow raspberries. 

As far as flowers go, I experimented a bit and put together flowers that I might not have put together otherwise. I cut down on vegetable growing since our growing season is so short, and used the extra space to plant an allium garden, which the bees love. I also planted astilbe, anemones, cornflowers, dahlias, lilies, sanvitalia, and rose mallows in the vicinity of the allium plants, and bladder campion flowers (wild) have grown up in the vicinity as well. It's a nice mixture of different flowers. Plus I had planted loosestrife a few years ago, and it has just taken off, so I'll have to control its growth in the coming years. But it's lovely. 

My garden is my happy place, and it's where you'll find me most days when the sun shines. Here are some recent photos......

the beautiful loosestrife

black raspberries growing in a cluster 

Words to live by

I love this.....

Birds and city living

You might think that living in a city would mean less frequent encounters with birds. You'd be wrong at least where Oslo is concerned. Summer in the city means visits from pigeons, sparrows, magpies, crows, wagtails, brown thrushes, blackbirds, mallard ducks, and seagulls. On my eight-minute walk to my garden from home, I pass Kiellands plass, which has become a sort of bird haven. There are people who feed the birds there each morning, but what most attracts them are the series of small ponds formed by the waterfalls that cascade down from the main fountain area on Waldemar Thranes gata. These are the watering holes for the mallard ducks and seagulls, but you'll find plenty of pigeons, wagtails and sparrows frequenting the same areas. The mallard ducks that come actually raise their families here; in previous years it was not unusual to see a mother with the ducklings running along behind her or swimming in the small ponds. I love seeing the birds each day. I often think that a world without birds would not be enjoyable to live in. 

Our co-op apartment has a fire balcony facing out from the kitchen to the street; we cannot use it and there is no door out to it, but the pigeons, sparrows and magpies are there each morning, waiting for their food. There is one pigeon especially (we've named him Chester but we're not sure if it's a he or a she pigeon) that shows up each morning and several times during the day. He sits on the metal ledge outside the kitchen windows and peers in, and we wonder what he is actually seeing. One thing is for sure--he arrives the minute he sees any sort of life in the kitchen in the morning. Sometimes he is already there when we get up, waiting for us. He has been known to tap on the window a few times during the past couple of years to announce his presence. We feed him as well as the other birds. 

Our apartment also has another balcony that we can use; that one leads out from our bedroom and faces out onto the inner courtyard. It is in close proximity to a large tree that is currently at the height of the fourth-floor balcony (we're on the third floor). The magpies choose this tree each year to build their nest and raise their family; we think it is the same magpie couple that return each year to to so. They are known for being territorial, and it's funny to watch and hear them squawk and talk to each other, as well as warn each other and other birds about the local cats that wander the neighborhood. God help those cats. The past two years, the magpies have had problems with their nests remaining sitting in the tree due to the storms and high winds that have suddenly become rather prevalent here in Oslo. Last year the branch on which their nest sat actually cracked and fell to the ground; there were no baby birds last year. This year the nest itself fell out of the tree. Luckily, the baby birds were already grown and had learned to fly. But the parents are now scouting around for a safer location, and the other day I caught them on the balcony, checking it out. They know we are kind because we do not shoo them away when we see them. It will be interesting to see how far they take their 'new project'. The other morning, I awoke very early, it must have been around 6 am, and looked out our bedroom window. There was one of the baby magpies, perched on the rim of one of the lounge chairs sitting out there. I wondered if he was sick or not feeling well, but it turned out he was sleeping! I know that because suddenly his little head came out from under his right wing where he had tucked it, and he yawned. He then promptly buried his head under his right wing again and went back to sleep. I'd never considered before how magpies (or any birds) actually sleep, so this was new to me. I took a few photos of him sleeping there outside our bedroom window. I had to take them through the window so as not to disturb him. Shortly thereafter, his parents showed up, there was some squawking back and forth, and he reluctantly followed his parents as they flew away. I think he actually enjoyed sleeping there on the chair. He hasn't been back since, but I'm guessing that he will return at one point. I won't feed them on that balcony because it will only attract them and more birds and I know that the co-op board won't like it, but it amazes me how birds and other wildlife are becoming used to us. They know that the majority of us are not bad people and that we mean them no harm. It's more than peaceful coexistence at this point, it's a remarkably enjoyable coexistence. 

Driving in downtown Oslo will drive you insane

Recently, my husband purchased a new electric bike at a store that just happens to be located in downtown Oslo. He asked me if I would drive him there because there are new traffic restrictions due to the closing of Ring 1 (the innermost traffic ring) and the bus routes have been changed. Additionally he's still getting over a sprained ankle and walking long distances would be uncomfortable, so I told him I would drive him. We both know what that entails. Generally speaking, we stay as far away from downtown Oslo as possible, at least where driving is concerned. And we've lived here for over thirty years. 

People don't believe me when I tell them that I'd rather drive in Manhattan or on the NJ Turnpike out to Newark Airport than drive in downtown Oslo. I've driven in Manhattan for years, have made my share of mistakes, but have always had the chance to turn right or left at the next traffic light and circle around the block. It helps that much of Manhattan is designed as a grid, with clearly-defined blocks, streets, and avenues. Not Oslo. It's an old city, so you would think they would cut motorists some slack for exactly that reason. You would think that they would allow for driving mistakes. They do not. After fifteen minutes of dealing with two-way streets that become one-way streets, streets that are only for bicycles and pedestrians, streets that are only for buses, trams and taxis, streets where you can't make a left in order to turn around--you're ready to vomit. I mean that literally. You're driving at the same time as you're trying to interpret all of the idiotic symbols for bikes, cars, trams, etc. You're left wondering where to go and how to get where you want to go. You consider pulling over to the curb and just abandoning your car. On my way home the other day, a trip that should take no more than ten minutes took me thirty minutes. I was on a road out of the city, after having passed the Opera and the Central Train Station, when I finally decided to make an illegal U-turn so that I could turn around. This, after having passed signs that prohibited me from making left and right turns. The only way I could proceed was forward. Both my husband and I agree that driving in downtown Oslo will make you nauseous because of the high level of anxiety and because your heart is constantly in your mouth. Driving in downtown Oslo will drive you insane, or if not insane, it will give you a heart attack and/or destroy whatever peace of mind you had at the start of the day. It's not for the fainthearted. 

Of course we're dealing with the Green Party when we talk about driving in Oslo. The Green Party doesn't want us to drive at all and has made it as difficult as possible with all of the restrictive traffic regulations and policies. Their stated goal is to rid the city of cars from the downtown area up to and including traffic Ring 2 by 2025. The level of insanity that currently exists will ensure that happens. People will give up rather than fight. The Green Party would rather you used bicycles, scooters, buses, and trams to get around. All well and good if Norway wasn't a winter country almost half the year. All well and good if public transportation worked every time you got on a bus or tram or train. I don't think they care too much that the downtown area stores will suffer from restrictive traffic policies. Delivery trucks will have a hard time (they complain already) delivering goods to stores. I guess the Green Party thinks that we should sit on our rear ends all day at all of the wonderful cafes that can be found in all of the closed-off pedestrian-only streets, drinking cappuccinos and eating pastries and gaining weight. Oh wait, you can do that in good conscience as long as you get back on your electric bike to bike home. 

I don't know what tourists think, but I can guess. My husband thinks driving in England on the left side of the road is easier than driving in downtown Oslo. If I was a tourist, I would do my homework and not rent a car in Oslo. There's no point. I'm not even sure I would rent a car to drive from Oslo out into the countryside. You need to know what you're doing--how to get out of the city and how to get back. Yes, we have Google Maps, Maps, Waze, etc. to help us. I don't know how much they will help, to be honest. Driving in Oslo approaches nightmare status. Bergen is no better. Who wants or needs the aggravation?

Life is brighter with good friends

Life is brighter with good friends, long-time friends--those with whom you've been friends since childhood. I'm lucky to have such friends (Jean and Maria); I know that to be true in the core of my being and I'm grateful every day for them. I'm not sure whether it has to do with luck or good decision-making or just plain old liking certain people. All I know is that they've stuck with me through thick and thin and I've done the same with them. I can't imagine my life without them. 

We've all made different choices and gone in different directions: marriage and having children, marriage and having a stepchild, and remaining single but being an aunt. Grandchildren are now in the picture and that's a new phase for all of us, with different degrees of involvement in terms of seeing them and taking care of them. But in between the new responsibilities, we find time to get together and to travel together. 

This past week, they came to Oslo and we spent a fun week together just hanging out, talking, snacking, and eating well. It reminded me of when we were young and had (what seemed to be) all the time in the world to hang out with each other. In 2019, before the pandemic, we met in Scotland and traveled around the country for a week. We had a wonderful time. Wales is now on the travel list and I hope we make it there within the next year or two. London would definitely be a good future destination, as would Amsterdam, Paris and Rome. We'll see what time brings in terms of travel possibilities for us all. 

Any time I feel out of sorts, I think of my friends and what we've shared together--good times and sad times (sickness and death). Maria's mother died recently, Jean lost her brother in 2023, and I lost my brother in 2015. They have their days too when they feel out of sorts. It's hard to keep your chin up sometimes when faced with the chaos and meanness in the world. And there's a lot of both these days. But my world brightens when I think of them and/or talk to them. Our friendship is a constant in our ever-changing lives. It gives me hope and peace of soul.  

Some good quotes about friendship

 

You say you love your country, but.......

Most people would tell you that they love their country, hands down. Most people don't even think about whether they do or not. And I'm sure most people who say they love their country, do love it on some level. But not on all levels. If they truly loved their country, they wouldn't do the following:

a) Litter. I walk around the city of Oslo and am often appalled at the amount of litter on the sidewalks and streets. Empty soiled plastic food containers here and there; empty and soiled paper bags likewise. Smashed bottles after Friday night parties. Or empty beer bottles just standing on the sidewalk or at door entrances. The same, just on a larger scale, after music festivals and outdoor concerts. Are people so lazy that they can't put their trash in a garbage can? I guess so. Lazy entitled spoiled brats. 

b) Dog poop bags. This is more litter that some folks leave lying around instead of placing in the trash can. Place the bags in the trash can, for God's sake. To your credit, at least you got halfway and placed the poop in the bag. Now place the bag in the trash can. Your dogs are not going to do it for you. 

c) Tagging. Tagging is not graffiti. Tagging is not art. Tagging is nonsensical behavior perpetrated by entitled spoiled brats who go around at night defacing the facades of apartment buildings, office buildings, and restaurants. I don't care how important you think you are, you're not. You're annoying individuals who ruin the beauty around us. 

d) Using sidewalks for biking or e-scootering. Not only is this behavior rude and uncalled for, but it is extremely dangerous. Not for those doing the biking or scootering, but for those who have the right of way on the sidewalks and yet find themselves pushed to the side as the bikes and scooters whiz by. Because if you don't move, you'll get hit and will definitely get injured. Older people, handicapped people, blind people don't stand a chance. Where are the police? As usual, nowhere in sight for this type of behavior. It's not punished or prioritized as a problem. So on the sidewalks, it's every man and woman for himself. I have begun to speak rudely to those who ride on the sidewalks when they should be riding in the road. I don't want to hear your excuses. Just get off the sidewalks. 

These are just some of the behaviors that irritate me no end. They are indicative of the lack of caring for others in society. They are indicative of our narcissistic me-first, go-screw-yourself society. The lack of civility and kindness is a huge societal problem. We could come a long way toward improving things if people stopped littering, tagging, and biking/scootering on the sidewalks. How about it people? What's it going to take for you to truly love your country and your fellow man or woman? I don't care a whit about your show of patriotism on your independence day and about your proclamations that your country is the best in the world. If you don't take care of your country and its inhabitants by behaving well, then your patriotism is just for show. Unfortunately, I've concluded that it's just for show. 

The sights, sounds and smells of summer

The sights, sounds, and smells of summer are many. Freshly-mown grass lawns, the many different kinds of birds chirping and singing, the smell of tar-soaked boardwalks at Playland and the smell of coconut sunscreen on beachgoers are just a few of the sights, sounds, and smells that are a part of my childhood summers. It didn't get dark until close to 9:30 pm in Tarrytown. Each year on July 4th, Tarrytowners would gather at the Washington Irving Junior High School to watch the fireworks that illuminated the sky over the Hudson River. A band would play until it got dark, and then the fireworks would start. 

The appearance of the ice cream truck driving through Oslo neighborhoods and playing the intro song to Norge Rundt signal that summer is here, even though the season doesn't officially start for another two weeks. I saw and heard the truck today for the first time, and even though the weather here is far from summer weather, it made me happy to hear it. Because it brings me back to my childhood, when Eddie the ice cream man would show up with his truck in our Tarrytown neighborhood. Back then, children would line up to buy ice cream bars and cones from him. I don't remember how much they cost, but it didn't matter, it was a treat to buy a toasted almond bar or an ice cream sandwich. As I did way back when, I went down to the stopped truck today and bought a box of ice cream sandwiches and a box of raspberry popsicles. 

There is a certain relaxation built into the summer months that comes from the sun and warmth. I need a dose of both in order to survive winter. I dread the coming of winter and cold when the summers have been chilly and rainy, like last year. This past winter was horrible to say the least. I hope that is not the case this year, but the weather patterns are so unstable at present that there is no longer any guarantee that the summer will be warm and sunny. We had a very warm and sunny May, but since June began, the weather has turned chilly and rainy. Everything seems to be out of whack at present. But hearing the ice cream truck today restored some kind of sanity and balance to life. I couldn't even begin to tell you why. It's enough for me to know that something as simple as an ice cream truck could bring me joy. Simple pleasures.....

Drowning in news

I found this recent Pearls Before Swine strip rather apt, considering that we're bombarded with news at every turn. It is depressing to drown in the news, and the end result is that one stops caring about what is going on in the world in order to deal with it. It is impossible to care about every problem in the world. 

The sheer amount of news is overwhelming, and sometimes one just wants to yell--'make it stop'. Or, 'stop the world, I want to get off'. Wars here and there, the threat of nuclear war, major crime in large cities here in Europe and the US, gun and knife violence, car burnings, terrorism, migrant crises here in Europe and the US, climate change (increased number and intensity of storms everywhere), rising sea levels, foods that are bad for you, household products that are bad for you, air pollution, dying oceans, inflation, prices that have skyrocketed, families that can't pay their bills, the threat of AI, the addiction to and obsession with technology (cell phones especially), weird politics everywhere, the upcoming US presidential election, the warping of truth and facts--the list is endless. The obsession with wealth. Greed and more greed. Power-hungry politicians and leaders. The move toward autocracy in Europe and the US. 

We live in decaying societies. Every time one turns around, more pieces of the foundations that support the societies we know and grew up in are crumbling. What we experienced and enjoyed as children in our generation is slowly being replaced by a new brand of society--driven by technological influences and AI (via internet). It's not hard to understand that some people want to live 'off the grid' rather than be 'guided and controlled' by AI platforms that specific companies tell us exist only to help us. Who believes this crap? The AI platforms being rolled out by the major internet and social media companies exist only to rake in more money for the advertisers on these platforms. The deals between the internet and social media companies with the advertisers are likely quite lucrative. Money talks. Money is the goal, and anything that gets them to the goal is justifiable (in their eyes). 

A half hour of news per day--that sounds good to me. Ten minutes a day would be better. We're being brainwashed into thinking that we need to be updated 24/7. We don't. Our personal and family lives would be much better and healthier if we just shut out the 24/7 news coverage. It's an obsession and an addiction, folks, like any other obsession and addiction. You will never get enough, because it's not designed that way. You get hooked and have to have it. You will need your news fix every day for the rest of your life unless you go cold turkey. Go cold turkey. Live your lives and don't let others tell you how you should think, feel or live. Stay updated without getting immersed in the sewage that passes for news. It's possible. 

 

If you read one article today, make it this one

I'm gifting my readers this article written by Thomas L. Friedman that was published yesterday in The New York Times--How We've Lost Our Moorings as a Society. It's an important opinion piece and it clearly resonated with many readers (just take a look at the Comments section). I hope the article makes you think about where the USA is going as a nation. We need to wake up before it's too late. Our future depends on it.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/trump-civility-society.html?unlocked_article_code=1.vk0.Maax.uk9wgGLn_2hg&smid=url-share

Looking back

I went through a nostalgic period around ten years ago, when I used a lot of time to sort through memories of childhood and young adulthood. It was a fairly creative time for me personally and led to my writing several books of poetry as well as several non-fiction books. My memoir about growing up in Tarrytown New York (A Town and A Valley: Growing Up in Tarrytown and the Hudson Valley: De Angelis, Paula Mary: 9798842022946: Amazon.com: Books) is my homage to a past that meant something to me personally; it was also was a reminder of a simpler time in my hometown's evolution. Tarrytown is no longer the town in which I grew up, nor would I expect it to be. But my childhood memories of it are quite alive in my heart and mind. I tap into them from time to time when I think about my parents, my family, my friends, and my old neighborhood. 

This morning, while I was getting ready for the day, I was reminded of my work past, more specifically, my experience working at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. Little did I know at that time (early 1980s) that it would change my life the way it did. Those changes were positive and far-reaching, but of course I couldn't know that at that time. I found myself thinking about my three bosses--Frank, Zbigniew, and Myron, and how much they supported and encouraged me to reach my full potential in the field of investigative cytology. It is thanks to them that I went on to pursue my doctorate in tumor biology. It is not without a tinge of wistfulness that I think of them; they have all passed away as of this writing. It's strange to think about that, that they are no longer with us. They were good men and immensely qualified professionally. I hope they know how much they meant to me, a young woman starting out in the work world. They gave me a real chance to succeed and I know that is not always the case. And I have no regrets about my work experiences with them. I can't say that about all my work experiences. I was lucky to get the start I got. There was something special about that time in my life. I would imagine all young people starting out in the work world feel that way; that their first years are formative years. They are. A good first work experience helps to shape one's later mindset about working. If the first experience is negative, it destroys trust in the future; I know several young people whose negative first work experiences destroyed their self-confidence. It took them several years to build up their self-image and to be able to trust a potential employer again. 

I don't look back too often anymore. There's far too much going on in the present time for me to dwell on what was or to miss the past. And even if I miss some aspects of the past, the pragmatic part of me knows that it's futile to focus on them. We can't go back, nor would I want to. The experiences of childhood, teenage years, and young adulthood are placed in memory and it is possible to go back to visit from time to time. My way of going back is often through music; I hear a song from those years and I am immediately transported back to those times. I know people who don't want to look back or be reminded at all of the past. That doesn't describe me, even though I wouldn't want to return to the past. The past has its place; the bad or sad things that happened then, happened. I moved on. And even if I had chosen not to 'move on', life would have moved me on anyway, whether I liked it or not.  

The slimy underbelly of everything

There is a slimy underbelly to everything. It is a consequence of our living in a fallen world. And make no mistake about it, we live in a fallen world. Random observations I've had this past week lend credence to this:

The USA is looking at re-electing a man who has cheated on his wife while she was pregnant, with a porn star and then paid said porn star hush money to keep her quiet. You can't make this stuff up. We've had philandering presidents before, but eventually they gave up trying to defend themselves and took the consequences (e.g. Bill Clinton). Imagine how social media would have crucified him when news of his affair came out? As it was, the news media did what they could to crucify him. You could wonder why these men do what they do? I'm not likely to get an answer to that question. 

The USA has a congress and a supreme court that are beholden to this man whom I call 'the mouth'. For some reason they are afraid of him. I guess because when he opens his mouth and badmouths someone, that person is cancelled for good. Bye bye political career. Hello harassment and more harassment. God bless Liz Cheney for speaking up about his bad behavior. I'd vote for her in a heartbeat. 

The USA does not have to remain a democratic country. There is nothing written anywhere that states that this is the case. I will miss my old country if it becomes an autocracy. If it becomes an autocracy due to 'the mouth', we will only have ourselves to blame. He's already talking about a third term in office. What does he think, that he'll live forever? Or will he appoint one of his children as his successor? I know what I'm praying for, but I'm keeping it a secret. It's my own underbelly.

And then there are the media reports about music moguls who abuse(d) their girlfriends and denied it, music moguls who rape(d) women and denied it, movie moguls and actors who did the same. But when the abuse shows up on a hotel surveillance video, suddenly the tune from some of these men is quite different. Men who abuse women are pathetic losers. But most importantly, they are criminals. Their behavior is criminal and they belong in jail. But of course the rich abusers will have a battery of lawyers to defend them. The rich always have a handy 'get out of jail free' card. 

The news is also filled with stories of celebrities on the verge of divorce, or those who have divorced, or those who are filing for divorce. Honestly, why do they bother getting married? Why have all these lavish over-the-top hyper-expensive weddings? What's the point? Just live together and stay out of the public eye. But that seems to be impossible for most of them due to their over-inflated egos. Stay off TikTok, X, Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, YouTube or any other social media channel that exposes your life for all to see. Is it worth it? No. Learn to be private about your private life. 

I haven't read or heard about one feminist women's group that has come out and condemned the October 7th attacks on young Israeli women who were massacred at the hands of Hamas. Not one group. Prove me wrong, people. I find this abhorrent. If these women who were raped, mutilated, murdered and beheaded by Hamas were your daughters, sisters, mothers, friends, would you step up to the plate and condemn their actions? You are allowed to condemn Hamas and also be critical of Israel's revenge war. It is possible to have two viewpoints in your heads at the same time. But of course we live in the age of woke, so you can only adhere to one way of thinking, determined by the wokers, which at the present time is anti-Israel.  

The world is a mess. There is so much violence, lying, cheating, greed, abuse, bad behavior, misery. It boggles my mind that cheaters, for example, deny their cheating when it is blatantly obvious that they have cheated. I'm thinking of a female politician in Norway who basically plagiarized over forty percent of her master's degree, and when caught, did not apologize but rather blamed everyone else around her for pointing out that fact. She didn't cheat, she said. Oh well. What would you call it then? In my day, we called it cheating. These days, no matter the crime, we must always feel sorry for the perpetrator. I don't.

I would guess the world is in need of some kind of divine intervention. But I doubt that it will be a merciful one. We don't deserve it.