Christmas in Oslo

The Norwegian Opera House

Downtown area near the waterfront

Oslo waterfront

Christmas tree at the University of Oslo

I've been taking a lot of photos lately, trying my hand at night photography. Believe me, it's not easy to get good night shots without a tripod. If you don't have your tripod with you, then you need to steady the camera on a solid surface, and sometimes that works out. Some of my night shots were satisfactory. I wanted to share them with you because I want you to see how the Norwegians deal with the intense darkness that descends upon their country in winter. The darkness envelopes you, there is no other way to describe it. It can be an uncomfortable feeling in the beginning of your stay here. So the lights go on in most buildings and they often stay on, even after work hours, creating a warming and comforting feeling when you look at them. 

We were at the Norwegian Opera House recently to see The Nutcracker, which has become an annual tradition for us. I liked the tree and the lighting, so I decided to come back and take some photos of the building and the waterfront. And then I was at the University of Oslo tonight to take photos of the newly-renovated Science Library, and I saw the Christmas tree and the lit buildings, and I had to snap them too. There is something magical about the lighting and the effect it creates inside of you. Thus, winter has its unique charm and beauty despite the darkness. When the snow comes, the darkness loses its intensity, so it is one reason to look forward to snow. 

Christmas at the Mall (Sandvika Storsenter)

We were out shopping today for Christmas gifts at the largest mall in Scandinavia--Sandvika Storsenter. It is located to the west of Oslo and is a short drive from the city. It has a large wall aquarium, so I snapped a few shots of the fish, especially the ones who were curious about what was going on on my side of the glass that divided us. We were also in an electro-boutique--sells everything from computers to stoves to smoothie machines. Had to snap a few photos--I mean really--walls of ovens and washing machines! Norway is so different than when I moved here. It has everything now in the way of material goods, thanks to the wealth created by the oil money. Twenty-two years ago, you had only a few different types of stoves to choose from; now, you can't count the choices. Supermarkets--the same thing--it's hard to know what to buy sometimes. Abundance is the operative word--an abundance of everything.

It gets dark here early now, so by 3:30 pm, it is nighttime for all intents and purposes. So it was interesting to get some evening shots of all the Christmas lights and decorations. On the drive home to Oslo, we stopped at the harbor area so that I could take some photos of the Opera House and the surrounding area at night. I'll post some of those photos in a later post.

 

Recognizing passive-aggressive behavior in workplace leaders

From time to time, I've decided I will present some excerpts from my book on passive-aggressive bosses in my blog posts. As I've mentioned previously, I've gotten a fair amount of feedback and comments on my book, which tells me that the problem of passive-aggressive bosses in the workplace is a fairly widespread problem. So why not share some of my views with you, and hopefully you will share yours with me and with others. The problem needs to be 'aired' in the workplace and talked about. My new question is the following: is this a managerial survival mechanism? Has the modern workplace become so complicated and confusing that these are the tactics that bosses must adopt in order to survive? If so, it speaks badly for the future of modern workplaces. Here is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of Blindsided--Recognizing and Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Leadership in the Workplace (these are just a few of the traits I have listed and discussed: http://www.amazon.com/Blindsided-Recognizing-Dealing-Passive-Aggressive-Leadership-Workplace/dp/1442159200/ref=tmm_pap_title_0). 

How do you feel at the hands of a passive-aggressive boss or co-worker? The word “blindsided” comes to mind. The definition of blindside is “to hit unexpectedly from or as if from the blind side; to surprise unpleasantly” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ blindsided). Thus blindsided describes how one might feel when dealing with a passive-aggressive boss. How many times have you come away from meetings or interactions with a boss or another co-worker, feeling as though you have been hit by a car that came out of nowhere? You just didn’t see it coming. How many times have you been the butt of a joke that isn’t funny or the recipient of undeserved comments, sarcasm and put-downs, and how many times have you wondered about the reason for this behavior? How many times have you ended up feeling used, duped, stabbed in the back, or the victim of dishonest behavior? How many times have you heard that same boss or co-worker describe himself or herself as a nice person (translated--one who tries to help others all the time, never says no to any request, tries to avoid conflict at all costs, one who wants to be liked by all, is not aggressive, never gets angry, is not tyrannical, is not verbally or physically abusive)?

A summary of some of the attitudes and behaviors that characterize passive-aggressive bosses (or co-workers) is presented in the next section. Using the traits and behaviors summarized here, I hope it will become somewhat easier to identify what some might call fairly typical behavior in the workplace as passive-aggressive behavior.

Attitudes/personality traits and corresponding behaviors/patterns of behavior in passive-aggressive leaders

1. Dishonest communicators

Communication with employees is not direct or honest but rather indirect, dishonest, and ambiguous. Employees never get a clear sense of what was discussed, what conclusion was reached, what is expected of them, or what future strategy or plan was outlined. These types of bosses can talk non-stop but little of what they communicate is useful for employees or even remembered by the leaders themselves at future meetings. These leaders are poor listeners and poor communicators. They behave in an indecisive and impulsive manner, are forgetful, lack focus, and are unable to think long-term or systematically. They lack the skills needed to create an organized and rational plan of action for their employees.

2. Flip-floppers

These types of leaders say one thing and then do the other. They change their minds frequently and cannot take a decisive stand on an issue. They forget what was decided upon, which confuses and frustrates those who prefer working with rational thinkers and leaders with the ability to strategize and make long-term plans.

3. Conflict-avoiders

Passive-aggressive leaders dislike conflicts, arguments, disagreements, overt shows of anger, or confrontations. They become uncomfortable or embarrassed by shows of emotion, especially anger. It is possible to recognize anger in them as their faces will redden when confronted and when they are told things they do not like to hear, but otherwise they rarely exhibit overt anger. They view themselves as diplomatic individuals, and many of them have an obsessive need to be well-liked or seen as nice people. They dislike being confronted or having their opinions challenged, but seldom respond with overt anger. Instead they will ‘punish’ employees who initiate discussions or debates (seen as conflicts or arguments). 

Julebord season

The Julebord season is upon us. Julebord is literally translated from Norwegian to English as ‘Christmas table’, but it simply means Christmas party at least in the way it is commonly used. Every year in Norway, starting in late November, employees start to prepare for their annual Christmas parties. And they are not few. Not only are there workplace Christmas parties, but also gutte-julebord or jente-julebord, Christmas parties for just men or women, respectively. And if you belong to any organization, e.g. a choir or a volunteer group, you can be sure that some type of party gets planned. Many of the people I know will attend anywhere from three to four Christmas parties before Christmas. For the most part, they take the form of sit-down dinners spread out over three to four hours, with a lot of food and a lot of alcohol (at least in the ‘old days’), interspersed with short speeches from company management or an organization’s leaders. They are fairly formal affairs; men and women dress to the nines, and most of the major chains of clothing stores advertise suits and dresses for the Julebord.

When I first started to work in Norway, the Christmas parties were often held on site at the workplace, in the hospital library or basement, where there was plenty of room to place a long dining table and chairs. Food was often catered by the hospital cafeteria, and alcohol was available for purchase. But the powers that be who arranged the parties often made their own aquavit from aquavit essence blended with absolute alcohol adjusted to a certain percentage. The alcohol was often ‘borrowed’ from the stock of absolute alcohol that the hospital kept under lock and key in each department. My guess is that the leaders ‘saw the other way’ when one or two bottles were removed from the stock, mostly because they also wished to enjoy the aquavit that was made from it. In later years the availability of alcohol was limited to one or two small bottles of wine with dinner; if you wanted more than that to drink you had to buy it yourself at the bar that was set up for the occasion, or bring it yourself. In any case, the flow of alcohol was never a problem at any of these parties. I have seen a lot of drunken people at Christmas parties here, including management and employees alike. In fact, I have been rather surprised at the number of drunken managers at these parties; it was almost as though they got a ‘free ticket’ out of prison and they made the most of it. I have experienced several of them in the ‘drunken edition’ over the years—unbelievably talkative, interested and cloying for that one night of the year, and eventually annoying. The other three hundred and sixty-four days they hardly knew you existed. You might be lucky if they smiled at you in the hallways when you met them during your workday. When they drank, they started to talk and unload about everything that was on their minds, and I thought to myself—I’m really not interested. Not interested in hearing about how your wife doesn’t understand you (classic), or how your workplace doesn’t understand you, or how you miss this or that in your life. Not my problem. After I went home at what I considered an appropriate hour (between midnight and 1am), the party was just getting started. People partied until dawn, and there was always a lot of whispering and loose talk about what went on afterwards. 

This all occurred in the mid-1990s; by the time we reached the year 2000 or so, our Christmas parties were often held at restaurants, with varying results. I can remember being stuffed into miniscule locales where you could barely stand up to go the ladies room or to go to the bar. I also remember one year (disastrous party) where we weren’t served food until close to 10 pm after having arrived at the restaurant at 7 pm. Not only were people raving drunk by 10 pm, but the food was served sporadically, which meant that some tables were finished with the first course while others were just being served it. I remember there was a guest scientist from the USA who was my table companion; at one point he turned to me and asked ‘When does the fun start?’ It kind of sums up about 70% of my Christmas party experiences in the twenty-two years I’ve been here. When does the fun start? He was right. Some of the parties have been stiflingly boring; I have a Norwegian colleague, a woman, and we more or less think alike about so many things. She and I have ‘livened’ up a few parties with our slightly anarchistic behavior. Do we regret it? No. What I can say is that our little corner of the table is often the liveliest—laughing, joking, pleasant conversation—all without a lot of alcohol. She has the same opinions as I do about public drunkenness. It is possible to have fun, even a lot of fun, without being piss-drunk. The Norwegians have a saying that they don’t trust people who don’t drink; I don’t trust people who do—especially the ones who never know when to stop. The few times when the parties have actually been fun were when they were held in large locales, like last year’s party. Food was served in one room (tapas table), which also had a formal bar where you could buy drinks or beer; the huge dining room was separate from this room and was at least comfortable to sit in. 

I have considered not going to Christmas parties at all, and some years I have dropped going to them. But the compromise now is that I leave at an appropriate time—more or less right after dinner--before the inevitable stupid behavior starts. In any case, the stupid behavior associated with too much alcohol is not necessarily reserved for Norway. I remember my father telling me about the Christmas parties at his workplace in Manhattan in the 1960s and 70s—the drunkenness, the bad behavior, the screwing around—all of it. He had no use for it, and I thus grew up with a father and a man that I could look up to and respect. I measure so many men in my generation against the caliber of my father, and many of them just don’t measure up. I actually think that many of the younger men I know behave better and more respectfully toward their wives and women in general than the men my age (middle-aged). Was my father perfect in every way? No. But when it came to behaving in a moral way, yes, he was a good man. The Christmas parties he talked about eventually went the way of many morally-questionable things—they became obsolete, killed by their own excesses, by the ‘never knowing when to stop’ mentality. I’ve heard that many corporations no longer have Christmas parties in the USA as a result of bad behavior. I don’t know if this is still the case, or how it’s done there anymore. All I know is that very little of this stupidity has to do with the real meaning or spirit of Christmas. And in the end, it’s the real meaning and spirit of Christmas that matters to me. 

One more post for today--update on NaNoWriMo

Yes, I know, there have been a lot of posts from me today. Probably because the negativity and cynicism in my workplace challenges me to rise above them, and I do that by tapping into my creativity and writing myself free of what promises to drag me to hell. I promised I would keep you all updated on my progress with NaNoWriMo, or for those who have just started following A New Yorker in Oslo, the novel writing challenge called National Novel Writing Month. I didn't make it to 50,000 words by November 30th, but I did make it to 33,000 words (about 121 pages and counting). In other words, I'm getting there, and I will definitely finish my novel and publish it. Why? Because I think it's good. I will show it to a few other people before I do. What have I learned from it all? That it's fun to write. But that it's hard work too, especially when you get writer's block for a few days or when you sit and write for five hours at a time with no breaks. Writing can become obsessive, creative, frustrating, depressing (when you get it wrong), and exhilarating (when you get it right). And only you really 'know' the exact moment when you get it right. Little wonder that editors and authors develop such intimate relationships. I can only imagine one other person who might understand where I was when I was writing---and that would be an editor.

But what I learned about myself when writing my characters--that was the best of all. It's all true what published authors say--you get to know and like (or dislike) your characters. You get to know about the people who are buried deep within you. The characters you thought you would be able to write 'well' are the ones who end up disappearing into the woodwork, and the ones who emerge front and center are the characters who really live in your subconscious and who have been clamoring for a chance to climb out and test the waters. So I let them. They directed me in how to write them. Well, I had a few ideas of the situations I wanted to put them in, but I let them do the talking for me. And that seemed quite natural somehow.

Anyway, once I finish this novel, I will start on another, and also on a screenplay that I will be collaborating on with another woman. So we'll see where that takes us. One place it will take me intellectually and emotionally is far far away from the demoralized workplace I frequent each day. And thank God for that.

Two girls graffiti

Just thought I'd share a recent photo I took on one of my walks up along the Akerselva river. Normally all you see on abandoned buildings is scrawl and tagging. But this was art, and it's lovely. Zoom in to see the nuances in the colors used for the hair. Nice work. Too bad there can't be more graffiti like this.

What Ellen Glasgow said

Ellen Glasgow (1873 - 1945) was an American novelist from Virginia who wrote about the changing world of the contemporary south, and these are some of her wise sayings. 

·         All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

·         Doesn't all experience crumble in the end to mere literary material?

·         He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

·         I waited and worked, and watched the inferior exalted for nearly thirty years; and when recognition came at last, it was too late to alter events, or to make a difference in living.

·         Mediocrity would always win by force of numbers, but it would win only more mediocrity.

·         No idea is so antiquated that it was not once modern. No idea is so modern that it will not someday be antiquated.

·         No matter how vital experience might be while you lived it, no sooner was it ended and dead than it became as lifeless as the piles of dry dust in a school history book.

·         The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.

·         Nothing in life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it.

·         What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.

·         Nothing is more consuming, or more illogical, than the desire for remembrance.

In these days before Christmas

Nothing works at work anymore. That’s just the sad truth—a fact of life. And no matter how much the administrators and leaders want to paint a smiley face on everything around us, the fact remains that no one below them much believes in anything they say anymore. I often say that the only reason some things do work at all is because employees generally are good people and want to do their very best (den gode viljen—good will) with some few exceptions here and there. In the twenty-two years I’ve worked here, my peers in the lab, the students, the technicians and the secretaries—all of them have done their best to make my workplace not only function, but be a nice place to work. Believe it or not, it has all been done without much direct involvement from any leader over the years. Why that was, I am not sure. Many of them felt ignored by the management over them and perhaps didn't care enough, but mostly I think it was the 'every man for himself' attitude, which is rampant in academic environments. You learn not to care too much about your potential competitors, and they can be your peers or your students. I think my present workplace is one of the few places that has functioned without much leadership over the years. At present, the extreme opposite is the norm. We now have five levels of administrative leadership; none of them know what the other level is doing and it makes for a very confusing workday. But each of them want power and control, and each of them want to control us. My situation is no different than many others I know; conflicting messages time and again. I am encouraged to join one group in a coordinator function to help out the department, but given no authority or no personnel to help me in that task. We are moved around from here to there and back again like pawns on a chess board. They say that our wishes are important to them, but we all know that it sounds good to say this; and more importantly, it can eventually be written in a report that the employees' wishes have been taken into consideration. But they haven’t. Because we haven’t wished for anything like this in our wildest dreams. And unless you’ve experienced what it’s like to be told more or less to drop what you’re doing now in order to do something else, and then in six months you get another message telling you to drop that and go back to doing what you were originally doing. I think this is a type of sickness; I’m just not sure what kind of sickness. Is there a diagnosis for it? Egomania perhaps? Or perhaps insanity?

I cannot remember one time in all the years I have worked here that any leader has bought a cake, or champagne, or any other such thing to celebrate the ending of a work year, or Christmas, or grant funding for the institute, or just to thank employees. We pay for our own Christmas parties; I can recall possibly two after-Christmas parties in recent years that we didn’t pay for; those are no more. But of course when there are birthdays, or births of babies, or weddings or any other such thing—it is the employees who have baked cakes, bought presents and acknowledged the event in some way. And then the leaders show up—to eat cake. They were and are always there to eat cake. But buy one themselves for their workplace? In my group, we have never gotten a Christmas gift of any kind from our group leader. I used to give him one in previous years, but no more. He did comment once when he first stopped receiving anything from me, but that didn’t change my mind. He once commented that he never received a Christmas card from anyone; I asked him if he ever sent any, and he said no. So then I said that there was a great place to start—write some. We in the group however, have always exchanged presents. What a far cry from my lab at UCSF—where my boss not only gave his employees small Christmas presents, but Valentine’s day chocolates and a single-stemmed rose as well. He was (and still is) a thoughtful man. It made me realize that it was possible to be professional and thoughtful—a nice definition of emotional intelligence. My boss at Memorial was the same.

Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol comes to mind in these days before Christmas. Scrooge was transformed from a miser in all respects to an emotionally-intelligent man whose heart, like the Grinch's, grew in size in order to accommodate the immense feelings of generosity that suddenly overtook it. He understood that before he died, before his body rotted to nothing in the earth and was forgotten, that he wanted to do some kind things for others. And he did. So it is never too late. My fervent wish for my workplace is that the leaders are visited by ghosts from the past, the present and future, and that they are shaken out of their miserly prisons and personal hells, into some kind of warmth and emotional intelligence, so that they can stop being scrooges in their daily lives. It will be too late for them to undo what they have done to the current generation of employees; but perhaps future employees will benefit from their generosity. What they could do for their older employees is to at least apologize—that would be a start. My fervent wish for myself is freedom, and maybe God will bless me with that in the near future. I can hope. And that is what the Christmas season is about—hope--in the age of cynicism, egoism, me-ism, narcissism, and any other ‘ism’ that has destroyed workplaces, good will, and the happiness associated with doing a good job.

It is what it appears to be

The Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten ran an interesting article this morning that I read while eating breakfast, commenting on a few choice parts to my husband, who reacted to the story more or less as I did. Here is the short summary of the newspaper story--a female TV reporter named Live Nelvik decided to do a reality program called ‘Dama til’, which means ‘Girlfriend of’—the point of the program being that she would interview well-known men with different careers—politicians, artists, celebrities, etc. and get them to talk about their lives and careers with her as though she was their girlfriend. One of the men who said yes to being on her program was Vebjørn Sand, the well-known artist. According to the newspaper, he wanted his contribution to the program to be educational and part of that entailed visiting his father, who is also a well-known artist. His father’s interest in art had a big influence on his son, and they seem to have a very good relationship. The TV reporter was invited home to Vebjørn’s father’s house, who opened his home to her and her TV camera crew, served them food, and showed them his studio. The article goes on to report that Sand’s father showed her different art techniques and gave her a picture he had started on, that she could work on further. She then picked up a crayon and wrote over the entire image –"FUCK!" all the while filming was going on. She was very keen that Sand’s father get her message clearly, so she turned to him and said, "Look, I wrote 'fuck”. Nelvik by the way is 29 years old if anyone wondered; if I hadn't seen her age I would have thought this was the behavior of a bratty child trying to be the center of attention. Both father and son were very upset by her behavior, and the recording ended there and then.

I’m not writing this blog post in particular defense of Sand or his father; their reactions were appropriate and they obviously know how to defend themselves. I’m writing it because the entire story made me want to vomit. Why? Because this type of TV program is crap, stupid behavior is stupid, and rude behavior is rude. Can’t put a pretty face on crap, stupidity and rudeness. Nelvik was rude and crass and there is nothing else to say, and if this is the new trend—to be ‘in your face’, rude and idiotic to people in the name of TV entertainment, well, good luck to the future of cultured society. Sand and his father reacted rather civilly, I have to say. Nelvik risks getting verbally berated or worse in the future by a different kind of man if she continues in this vein, one who doesn’t take kindly to watching his elderly father or mother get mocked and personally attacked in the name of increased TV viewership, and one who doesn't care if the camera is filming his tirade (but of course this could be entertainment too--trying to provoke such episodes--so who knows. Actually, it's been done already--the Jerry Springer show--American crap TV). Because that's what this is all about--getting the ratings up at any cost. 'Se på meg' (look at me). I prefer Sand’s more civil reaction to the entire episode, but one of these days, Nelvik may mock the wrong person. And then it will be interesting to see if her TV crew continues filming during the aftermath of her crassness. Good luck to you. 

What John W. Gardner said

Who was John W. Gardner? An intelligent, wise and forward-thinking man, who served as the Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare under President Lyndon Johnson. I saw one of his quotes today posted on Twitter, and it struck me with its wisdom. This was the quote—‘We are all faced with a series of great opportunities - brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems’. I thought about how this somehow sums up much of what is going on in society at present—if opportunities really become nothing more than impenetrable problems, then all the talk about changing the world for the better will be nothing more than hot air because we will be defeated by the rampant pessimism that is ever present in trying to bring about change in the world. If a society can say that its problems are insoluble, then the individuals living in that society don’t have to step up to the plate and take responsibility for changing things for the better. Fear of failure / fear of success? Interesting words from an interesting man.

·         True happiness involves the full use of one's power and talents.

·         Some people strengthen the society just by being the kind of people they are.

·         Men of integrity, by their very existence, rekindle the belief that as a people we can live above the level of moral squalor. We need that belief; a cynical community is a corrupt community.

·         The cynic says, "One man can't do anything." I say, "Only one man can do anything."

·         Excellence is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

·         Some people have greatness thrust upon them. Very few have excellence thrust upon them.

·         The idea for which this nation stands will not survive if the highest goal free man can set themselves is an amiable mediocrity. Excellence implies striving for the highest standards in every phase of life.

·         America's greatness has been the greatness of a free people who shared certain moral commitments. Freedom without moral commitment is aimless and promptly self-destructive.

·         The hallmark of our age is the tension between aspirations and sluggish institutions.

·         The ultimate goal of the educational system is to shift to the individual the burden of pursing his own education. This will not be a widely shared pursuit until we get over our odd conviction that education is what goes on in school buildings and nowhere else.

·         Much education today is monumentally ineffective. All too often we are giving young people cut flowers when we should be teaching them to grow their own plants.

·         One of the reasons people stop learning is that they become less and less willing to risk failure.

·         It is hard to feel individually responsible with respect to the invisible processes of a huge and distant government.

·         Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

·         History never looks like history when you are living through it.

·         Our problem is not to find better values but to be faithful to those we profess.

·         The creative individual has the capacity to free himself from the web of social pressures in which the rest of us are caught. He is capable of questioning the assumptions that the rest of us accept.

America the Beautiful--lyrics

In honor of Thanksgiving, I'm posting the lyrics to this beautiful song that we've sung for many years and will continue to sing for many years to come.....

O beautiful for spacious skies, 

For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!

O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through
wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!

O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice,
for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee! 

Words by Katharine Lee Bates,

Melody by Samuel Ward

Giving thanks

I have celebrated Thanksgiving each year since I moved to Norway, and each year I look forward to celebrating the holiday. I never really get tired of preparing food and inviting people to share it with us, although I must admit that at the end of Thanksgiving Day I’m pretty exhausted. This year was no exception. I normally invite family and/or friends to join us during the weekend after Thanksgiving, as we are at work on Thanksgiving Day. This year was different; I made Thanksgiving dinner today and invited family.

I am always nervous each year that something will go wrong; that feeling that I will suddenly become a completely inept hostess rears its head each year. But except for the first year I was here, things have mostly never gone wrong. That year was the year that the antique electric oven that my husband inherited from his parents didn’t tolerate being opened too often to baste the turkey (the temperature dropped dramatically each time the door was opened). Suffice it to say that it took about nine hours before the turkey was done. Our guests were patient though and they hung around, back in the days when people did hang around until 1 or 2 am (when we were younger and losing a good night’s sleep didn’t destroy the following five days in terms of sleep and lack of energy). We bought a new stove shortly after that. In the twenty-two years I’ve been here, the turkey has turned out dry on two occasions. This year the corn bread didn’t rise as high as it should have and I don’t know why, I couldn’t find cranberries in the supermarkets or in the small neighborhood markets to make sauce (I used tyttebær instead and that’s always a good substitute), and I almost couldn’t find a turkey. It seems as though eating turkey has caught on here at Christmastime, which means that turkeys will be available in mid-December. But as I explained to one supermarket manager—I’m American--I need a turkey now! But I finally did find one that was the right size after visits to a number of different supermarkets. It turned out to be a very good turkey, not dry at all.

Thanksgiving, for all its informality and joviality, is really a formal holiday, in the sense of giving thanks on a national scale. I can remember attending mass when we were children and singing ‘America the Beautiful’. The first stanza is particularly beautiful and memorable:

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

It’s good to be reminded that we ought to be grateful for all that is good in our lives. And maybe sometimes even for what may not be good in our lives at present—unhappiness, unfairness, losses, hurts. Because without the sadness that life deals out at times, we might not be able to appreciate the happiness when it appears. We need the contrast. 

From pimp my ride to pimp my research

I attended another interesting event sponsored by the UiO Science library this morning, a lecture about how to ‘pimp’ your research, followed by a really interesting discussion about pimping of research in general—should it be pimped, how it should be done, and who should be responsible for pimping. The scientist who held the lecture and who guided the discussion afterwards was Gro Amdam, whom I’ve mentioned before in a previous post. Professor Amdam is a Norwegian scientist who runs two research labs, one at the Norwegian University of Life Sciences in Aas Norway, the other at Arizona State University in the USA. She is a honeybee researcher and a top scientist, with many publications in top international journals; you can read more about her labs, work, publications and view her journal covers here: http://amdamlab.asu.edu/. Some of the scientists I talked to about this event when I was promoting it a few weeks ago were a bit skeptical; perhaps mostly skeptical to the terminology—pimping. They weren’t sure what was meant by pimping research, and instead of being curious enough to find out more about it, they didn’t attend. They should have, because they missed a really good and professional presentation about the subject and an interesting discussion afterwards. Pimping is defined as ‘giving something a smarter or more interesting appearance’; some excellent examples in my opinion are Amdam's journal covers—beautiful photos of bees and flowers that add an important visual aspect to the research work that was published inside the specific issue. She emphasized that it was pimping the (high-quality) work that was important; this was not a talk about how to pimp the scientist. But the scientist can become well-known because of the quality of the work via good pimping—and that’s a good thing. It helps get research grants, funding, and international recognition.

There was a good deal of discussion about the cultural differences and approaches to pimping between the USA and Norway. In the USA, research pimping is an accepted and encouraged activity at universities; the idea is relatively new in Norway. Most of the Norwegian attendees were very positive to the idea, some were skeptical. But that’s the point of a good discussion—to get the ideas out there and to get people started talking about them.

What struck me afterwards was that the Science library (Realfagsbiblioteket) has done a fair amount of pimping in its own right. The beautiful and professionally-done trailers about the invited scientists who come to the library to hold lectures and workshops are a good example of the library (KBH and AC) pimping the work and careers of these scientists; these trailers have been uploaded to SlideShare if you are interested in seeing them: http://www.slideshare.net/Realfagsbiblioteket/presentations. 

Bits and pieces

Some updates on what’s going on--NaNoWriMo is by far the largest project I’ve ever taken on, at least in so short a time period. I did write a doctoral thesis back in 1998, but I had three months to do so and it came out to about 110 pages. It is a real challenge to write about 1700 words a day for 30 days in the hope of having a completed (180-page) novel by the end of November. I don’t manage this each day, so what I do is wait for the weekends, like last weekend and this weekend, and write in marathon stretches. I’ve tried writing late at night after work; sometimes it works, other times it’s a bust. I find myself snoozing in front of my computer, then I wake up for a bit, write something that later on seems completely incoherent when I re-read it, and go from there. Will I make it to 50,000 words by November 30^th? By hook or by crook, I will. I want to see what will happen if I do. There's no money prize nor is there a book deal, but I am learning a lot and enjoying the journey, and at the end there will be a novel (of sorts). I’ll keep you posted.

Took a short break this afternoon and went through some of my CDs in order to find some good music to listen to. I settled on Joni Mitchell’s Dreamland: The Very Best of Joni Mitchell. Most of the tracks are vintage Joni, but I found myself mesmerized by her 2002 version of Both Sides Now. Why? Because it is an older woman singing the song, and an older one listening to it, compared to when she first sang it and to when I first heard it. It is a melancholy assessment of life and love from the vantage point of the present—when years have passed and time has made us older, and we look back on love and life, on what we have learned and on what we have lost. Regardless of whether one has regrets about one’s past, one can still be moved by the truths in this song. She sings that ‘it’s love’s (life’s) illusions I recall, I really don’t know love (life) at all’. It had me in tears by the end of it. I still can’t figure out how singers do it; I try singing along and I get all emotional and teary-eyed, and I wonder, how do they sing these songs without crying themselves? I guess maybe because they sing them so often, perhaps it lessens the intensity of the feelings? I don’t know. All I know is that is a beautiful song, as is Help Me. I’m including the lyrics to Both Sides Now here—pure poetry.

Both Sides Now      by Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair, and ice cream castles in the air.
And feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud’s illusions I recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go.
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say "I love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all.

Autumn colors

It cannot be said that this year's autumn foliage was disappointing. There were a lot of lovely reds and golds and the weather didn't completely disappoint us either--we had some really mild fall days. All in all, a good autumn--here are some photos I took on our weekend walks in the area where we live in Oslo.