Giving someone your word

Always do what you say you are going to do. It is the glue and fiber that binds successful relationships. - Jeffrey Timmons

This is something that I’ve lived by for a good part of my life. It’s one of the major reasons that I make very few promises to people I care about, because I care immensely about honoring the few promises I do make. I rarely say to those I love—‘I promise you this or that……..’ without delivering on it. I won’t promise anything if I know I cannot deliver from the get-go (barring of course sickness or natural disasters that might prevent me from doing so). The few times in my life when I’ve had to break a promise to someone has left me feeling upset, disloyal and generally bad. It doesn’t take much to make me feel like a schmuck, especially where relationships and hearts are concerned.

Our word is all we have. When we say to someone, ‘I give you my word’, it implies a promise. Promises are not relative statements. I don’t care very much about what the world thinks in that regard. The world has become a supremely relative place to live in. What is relevant today may not be relevant next week, let alone next year. I bring this up today because so much of life, including work life, has become so relative. How many times at work have I been told that ‘the past is no longer relevant’, or ‘that was THE PAST’, as though the past has no bearing whatsoever on the present environment or discussion. But it most certainly does, it’s just that the current constellation of leaders chooses to ignore that fact. Bitter workplace rivalries from twenty years ago help to shape the current ‘stellar’ constellations and political atmospheres in many workplaces, so of course the past is relevant for the present. It’s idiocy to think otherwise.

How far back must we go before a certain period of time can be considered the past? Whose definition of the past is relevant? In my workplace, the past can be two years ago or even one year ago. Imagine living in a marriage/relationship that was governed by the same principles; that what was said to a spouse or loved one two years ago is no longer relevant in the present, it no longer matters. If we gave our loved ones our word in the past that such and such will occur, we are bound by our word to honor that promise. I don’t have a problem with the promise evolving or taking on new aspects, but the promise itself is to be honored. That for me is the essence of a caring and respectful relationship--a successful relationship--be it marriage or friendship.

The problem with the idea that everything is relative and that you can go back on your word is that loyalty, commitment and stability become less important over time. The image that comes to mind is that of a boat in roiling waters, always having to deal with instability and uncertainty. If we cannot trust the people in our personal lives to honor their promises, then we can most certainly not trust the people in our work lives to do so. If you never get to peaceful waters on those fronts, if you can never relax in a relationship, if you can never achieve a level of trust, be it personal or work-related, you are the boat that is continually buffeted by the waves. The waves will upset the boat and down it after a while, or the engine will give out. That is the result of an ‘everything is relative’ way of thinking. 

Women and top leadership positions

Women in top leadership positions—a topic that continues to fascinate the business media. There aren’t enough women in top leadership positions, we’re told. Those women who make it to the top tell us that there is no longer a glass ceiling for women (there once was, but it’s not clear exactly when it disappeared); they’ve made it to the top, so that’s proof of its non-existence. So the question at present is why there aren’t more women at the top, especially in Norway where women get long maternity leaves, where daycare is a given (not free, however), and where men are raised to pitch in and do their share. Even in this country, women are not aiming for the top-level leader positions, and it’s been written about and discussed in the media. Women no longer hit a glass ceiling on their way to becoming top leaders; the problem is rather that women don’t choose top leadership positions, for a variety of reasons. Some feel that they are not qualified to be leaders; others know that they simply won’t be able to juggle a top-level job, a household and a family, without help. And some families cannot afford help in the form of nannies, housekeepers or maids. But such help is essential if you’re going to be a top leader. Because company expectations for a top leader are high when it comes to job commitment and availability (often 24/7). How top leaders plan their days, when they start work and when they leave for home, is a personal challenge for each of them. They don’t get all their work done between 9 am and 5 pm, even though they may go home at 5 pm. They are working in the evenings at home while trying to spend quality time with their families, if they have them. It’s a superb act of juggling; some women manage it, many do not. But many men do not manage it either, especially if they are part of a two-career family, like most are these days.

It’s not just women who don’t choose top-level leadership positions; it’s men too. I know a number of American men who are/were middle-level managers, and that suits/suited them just fine. They were content to stay at the level of middle manager, because they at least got to leave the office by 6 pm to get home in time to see their kids and spend some time with them before they went to bed. In the New York City metropolitan area, a commute into and out of Manhattan from a surrounding suburb can take a commuter an hour or more at the very least, depending on where the commuter lives. Even if a train or bus ride into Manhattan is thirty minutes long, getting around in Manhattan by subway or bus can easily add another thirty minutes to the journey. There are transit delays; traffic corks if you drive or take the bus. Nothing flows smoothly all the time; you’re lucky if it does. It’s a crap shoot when it comes to commuting; I can attest to that personally. My forty-five minute commute by car into Manhattan from New Jersey took me two hours door-to-door by bus. If I had had a family at that time, I would never have gotten home before 7 or 8 pm each day. That’s no way to have a family life, and my job was just a regular job, not a top-level one. I know some men in New York who were ‘reprimanded’ for leaving the office early (5 pm) to get home at a decent hour in order to spend time with their children. I know some women here who experienced the same when they left early (4:30 pm) to pick up their children at the daycare center. It’s tough to find a balance; I see that with younger people now as well. Husbands and wives drop off and pick up children at the daycare centers; they take turns doing so. A two-career marriage with children can’t work any other way. Sacrifices must be made, and two people must make them. The sacrifices can involve spending less time at the office. However couples manage it, the fact remains that choosing to be a top leader means sacrifices, the kind of sacrifices that the majority of men and women won’t be making, by choice, in this lifetime, especially once they have a family to consider. Top-level leadership is not for everyone.  

Happy New Year

There are two songs that have been playing over and over in my mind the past few days, and I thought I'd wish everyone a happy new year by posting them. The first is a song from 2012 called Feel the Love by Rudimental, with one of the most original videos I've seen in a long time. Rudimental are a British band; the British singer John Newman is featured on this song. The video was filmed in Philadelphia PA, and the young people on horseback are members of an urban riding club in Philly. Great song....

The second song is Happy, by Pharrell Williams. I can't help but feel happy, and feel like dancing, when I hear this song, from Despicable Me 2 (a nice little movie, as was Despicable Me). 

Feel the love, and be Happy, in 2014! 

A few of my favorite things at Christmastime

Just a few of my favorite things at Christmastime here in Oslo, in no particular logical order--but starting with gløgg, which is translated as mulled wine if you look it up online. As I've written before in an earlier post, it's really a sugar- and spice- sweetened beverage to which you can add red wine or hard liquor; I add hot water and then you have a drink to warm you up on cold winter days.

Another popular thing to do, and which has become a tradition in our house, is to buy the special editions of the different comics series that are published at Christmastime (called juleheftene): for example, Donald Duck, Zits, Blondie, Garfield (called Pusur here) and others. It's relaxing to sit and read through them during the Christmas vacation--both for children and adults who never got past the kid stage when it comes to comics (like me). 

 

Advent wouldn't be Advent without a calendar from the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, or without poinsettias to brighten up the house. This year I added a white poinsettia to the indoor garden. 

 

Oslo and the surrounding area do not really have the tradition that the USA has of decorating houses and buildings with Christmas lights and decor, but some few people do this and the results are often quite nice, as shown here. The first photo is of a house in our neighborhood where the bush in the backyard is decorated with multi-colored lights. Very pretty. The other photo is of the street decorations in Bogstadveien--also very nice. Very few streets have this type of decoration anymore; whereas when I first moved to Oslo, they could be seen all over. I miss seeing more of them. 

And finally, there are the bird tracks in the snow on the little balcony outside our kitchen window where the birds sit each morning waiting for their ration of sunflower seeds. They make the season special with their constancy (they return each morning) and with their social instincts and curiosity.

A new poem--Solstice

(Update: this poem is now published in my collection of poems Remnants of the Spirit World, available for purchase on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Remnants-Spirit-World-Paula-Angelis/dp/1495376451/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411126555&sr=1-3&keywords=paula+m+de+angelis)


Mid-winter night of nights

The shortest day of days

Walk into darkness’ might

And leave behind the light

Darkness falls upon the land

A weary world adrift in dream

Awaits return of sunshine’s hand

That stays its course upon the stream

What shadows lie in wait

For simple souls who traipse

Into their world of hate

Locked beyond the gate

Gather round the blazing fire

Hands clasped against the gloom

Fear of what events transpire

Chanting as dark shadows loom

And so the shadows lie

Cast doubt upon fair souls

Where shadows do not tread

Just souls have found their stead

Gather round the blazing fire

That warms dark frozen souls

Gather round the cleansing pyre

That burns to make them whole

The longest night of nights

Turns slowly toward the sun

Moving on to longer days

In the end the battle won

O’er darkness and the shadow life

Creatures retreat behind the gate

The cracks filled in with blessed light

Sealed against the wall of hate

copyright 2013--Solstice

Paula M De Angelis

What Pope Francis said about light, and some other quotes about light

I am inspired by what the new pope focuses on and what he stands for. He is seventy-seven years old, and I only hope that he will live a long time so that the Catholic church can undergo the renewal that it sorely needs. Sometimes when I watch him or read about what he has said, I wonder if we are not witnessing a miracle within an (imperfect) man happening before our eyes. He does not strike me at all as a false person. 

In my post yesterday, I wrote that I wanted to focus in 2014 on lighting one candle as the better way rather than cursing the darkness. It is so easy to get discouraged and to give up. But today at Christmas mass, my heart felt free and released from worry (a seldom occurrence in these days of work stress). My heart felt light, both in the sense of being illuminated but also of being lighter in weight. And then I read the news online that the new pope had called Jesus "the light who brightens the darkness" in his Christmas sermon. And I thought that maybe that's what I felt this morning at mass. 

The pope also said that "there are both bright and dark moments, lights and shadows", and that "if our hearts are closed, if we are dominated by pride, deceit, self-seeking, then darkness falls within us and around us." It all somehow made sense to me in that way when you suddenly 'understand'. And then I thought that I would try to find some other quotes about light, because this morning, for me, it was as though a light switch got turned on again inside of me. And that feeling has not left me today at all. 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

“There is a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in.”  ― Leonard Cohen

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.” ― William Shakespeare

“There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.”

― Bram Stoker

“As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way.”

― Mary Anne Radmacher

“Fear can only grow in darkness. Once you face fear with light, you win.”

― Steve Maraboli

“I've learned recently to love imperfection a lot because it shines such a big light on God's grace. And if someone has grace for you that's when you feel their love the most and they see you for who you are and they love you anyway.”
― Lacey Mosley

“Love is not consolation. It is light.”

― Simone Weil

“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.”

― Oprah Winfrey

“Because I was more often happy for other people, I got to spend more time being happy. And as I saw more light in everybody else, I seemed to have more myself.”

― Victoria Moran

“My first memory is of light -- the brightness of light -- light all around.”

― Georgia O'Keeffe

Wishing you all a joyful Christmas and happy new year

To all those who follow this blog:
A heartfelt wish for a joyful Christmas from A New Yorker in Oslo. I've been writing this blog for three and a half years, and I still look forward to each post that I write. It's not always clear to me what my posts will be about, but I find that a particular theme finds its way to the surface of my consciousness. I can walk around for days with a particular theme as a background process in my mind, and then 'suddenly' I know what to write about. I am fairly certain already that many more of my posts in 2014 will be about my writing or writing in general. I will be publishing my second book of poetry shortly, and will share with you the book cover and information on where to find it. There is no money in writing poetry; there never has been. I know this and will continue to do it anyway. Because even if one person gives me his or her feedback, it's worth it. It's heartening when you know that you have touched someone with your thoughts and feelings in a poem you have written, when that person writes to tell you which poems they liked and why.

My hope for 2014 is that I will be able to remember and follow this saying more often: 'It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness'. This saying was first spoken in public by the founder of Amnesty International--Peter Benenson. For me, it is good motivation for living daily life, with all of its struggles and pitfalls. It's a reminder to try to make a difference in this life, to try to be a good person, to not sit back passively and give in to the darkness, whatever form it may take. I wish all of you a happy 2014.

What I want for Christmas

• A different and better diagnosis for a dear friend whose doctor gave her a depressing diagnosis in a manner totally unbecoming for a professional—cavalier and unfeeling. My new year’s wish for her doctor? That he spend some time in her shoes to see how it feels to suffer the anxiety of having to wait until the middle of January to hear if he was mistaken or not, because he is no expert and should never have given her any sort of diagnosis in the first place
• To find a way to be with my family and friends in the States so that I don’t have to wait until retirement to see them more
• Better lives for those close to me who have problems maintaining their standards of living, due to circumstances beyond their control
• To find a way to do what I love so that I can quit what I no longer love. I wish that for those I love as well
• That we find and restore balance to our daily lives: work is work, home is home. We need both and we need to find time for both. Work should not usurp the role of family and friends
• That the workplace does not continue to be the church where we worship. That we find our way back to our real churches and turn our backs on the worship of money, greed and competition
• That ‘God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to know the difference’ (Serenity Prayer)

On the journey

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”  Ursula K Le Guin

When I wrote my doctoral thesis back in the late 1990s, I used this quote in the preface. It was quite relevant at the time, since my doctoral work was a long journey toward the PhD degree, which seemed so unattainable at times. Especially during the difficult times in the lab, when things were not going well or taking too long, or when my articles were rejected and sent back to me. When I finally reached my goal, I realized that much of the enjoyment in pursuing a goal is in fact the journey toward it. I realized that the lab work, no matter how difficult or frustrating, was part and parcel of the entire experience. You don’t get to be a full-fledged scientist without dealing with frustration, long hours in the lab, difficulties, crying fits, wanting to give up, waking up the next day and feeling ok again and wanting to start anew. Pursuing a doctorate is a difficult experience; it’s a challenge that you are not likely to forget the rest of your life. I see that in some of the students I have advised during the past decade; they struggled, some hit the wall temporarily, but they kept going in spite of setbacks. One or two were whiz kids and managed to finish in three years what it took others six years to achieve. We all have a different road to follow. If it takes you longer than it takes another, then it does. That’s your journey. Sometimes, it’s what we learn along the way in terms of patience, tenacity, faith, hope, and camaraderie that keeps us going. You learn that ‘no man is an island’; that your fellow students and/or co-workers are there for mutual support. That complaining is part of life and work, but that solving problems instead of complaining is preferable. Life is a long journey for most of us, if we're lucky; there is no point in kvetching continually. The fact remains that life really is not fair; it doesn’t always go the way we want it to. But sometimes it does, and goals get achieved. And part of the journey in this life is taking the time to enjoy those achievements, to look at them and say, I did this, yippee. We need sometimes to pat ourselves on the back and say ‘job well-done’, before we start on the next journey toward a new goal. Because that’s a reality of life too. We are never done, we are never satisfied; we are perpetually meeting the next challenge. Each decade has its challenges and goals, I see that more clearly now than when I was younger. It became even clearer this past weekend when I was together with several elderly women, all of whom are in their 80s; their journeys continue—the challenges are different—most of them have to do with the vagaries of old age—but they remain journeyers. They remain interested in the world around them, they are social, kind, patient with themselves and others; they have achieved a certain wisdom that comes from a long life journey. They are my role models.     

A new poem

Dance--reflections

Dancing my way to air

Gulping in the light

Making my way upstairs

Leaving behind the night

Dancing my life to find

That which I feel as true

Life as a walk in the blind

Love as a part of the hue

Colors abound about me

Circling over my head

Lights to guide my way through

Whispering where to tread

copyright 2013 Paula M De Angelis

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Christmas trees everywhere! Or at least it seems like that. Each year, it seems that people start to get ready for Christmas earlier than the previous year. I wonder if that’s true or if it’s just my impression. All I know is that the major shopping centers, malls and department stores here in Oslo have had their Christmas decorations up since mid-November. I can understand the attraction, actually. It’s such a nice time of year, such a warm season in all respects, so why not start to prepare for it already in November? It’s not just about buying gifts; it’s about the experience of preparing for Christmas, and it seems that others feel the same way. It’s fun to go to the mall stores and people-watch; people are busy and preoccupied, but it’s not a stressful feeling. Store salespeople are very friendly and charming; of course they want to sell you something, but I do get the feeling that they are in the spirit as well. ‘Be of good cheer’. It seems that most people are this year. I am as well.

We are putting up our Christmas tree next weekend. In the meantime, I am decorating the house for the holidays, wrapping gifts, making lists and ‘checking them twice’ (actually much more than twice), writing Christmas cards (I still like writing my own cards and mailing them, even though I do send more e-cards now). There’s something about making myself a cup of gløgg, a warm spiced drink with cinnamon, cardamom, cloves and ginger to which you can add raisins, slivered almonds, and red wine or strong liquor (it is in fact called mulled wine, although I drink it without the wine), and sitting down to write cards. For those of you who want to know more about gløgg, I refer you to this link that has a recipe for it: http://goscandinavia.about.com/od/restaurantsdining/r/gloggrecipe.htm. I usually buy gløgg ready-made as a concentrate, add water to it and heat it until it is warm.

I will be making and freezing gingerbread dough this week for cookies; making gingerbread cookies (‘pepperkaker’ in Norwegian) is a tradition that my stepdaughter and I try to maintain each year. I also want to make molasses spice cookies this year, and I think it would be fun one year to make a plum pudding, which was one of the Christmas desserts that I grew up with. If I have time this year, I will try it, as I have a good recipe for it. My mother served it each year (it was imported from England and we usually bought it at Macy’s department store) accompanied by a rum-flavored white sauce. We also grew up with panettone, an Italian sweet cake made with candied orange, citron, and lemon zest, as well as raisins; it too was bought at Macy’s. How I used to love shopping there at Christmastime! Here in Oslo, I can find both at the Glasmagasinet department store, as well as at the more high-end delicatessens that import a lot of different goods from other European countries. So yes, I am looking forward to the culinary journeys that await us, the traditions that define Christmas for me (an interesting blend of American, Italian, English, and Norwegian/Scandinavian), and the time to truly enjoy the season. And finally, I recommend checking out an online Advent calendar that is just a treat for children and adults alike—the Edwardian Advent Calendar. You’ll find it here at http://www.jacquielawson.com/gift-shop. Enjoy!

The beautiful English carol 'Tomorrow shall be my dancing day'

We attended an Advent concert yesterday, which was very nice--always a special way to usher in the Advent season. The choir sang this traditional English carol, which made such an impression on me that I wanted to share it with you. Beautiful to listen to. Ingegjerd Bagøien Moe was the soloist, and Uno Alexander Vesje the harpist who accompanied her; they were wonderful, as was the rest of the Tryllefløytene choir.

I went on YouTube to see if I could find the song, and happened upon a number of different renditions of it. This rendition particularly touched me, since it's a children's choir that performs it. I'm including the lyrics as well. The choir does not sing all of the verses; none of the different renditions seem to. Enjoy!

TOMORROW SHALL BE MY DANCING DAY  

Tomorrow shall be my dancing day;

I would my true love did so chance

To see the legend of my play,

To call my true love to my dance;

Chorus

Sing, oh! my love, oh! my love, my love, my love,

This have I done for my true love

Then was I born of a virgin pure,

Of her I took fleshly substance

Thus was I knit to man's nature

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

In a manger laid, and wrapped I was

So very poor, this was my chance

Betwixt an ox and a silly poor ass

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

Then afterwards baptized I was;

The Holy Ghost on me did glance,

My Father’s voice heard from above,

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

Into the desert I was led,

Where I fasted without substance;

The Devil bade me make stones my bread,

To have me break my true love's dance. Chorus

The Jews on me they made great suit,

And with me made great variance,

Because they loved darkness rather than light,

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

For thirty pence Judas me sold,

His covetousness for to advance:

Mark whom I kiss, the same do hold!

The same is he shall lead the dance. Chorus

Before Pilate the Jews me brought,

Where Barabbas had deliverance;

They scourged me and set me at nought,

Judged me to die to lead the dance. Chorus

Then on the cross hanged I was,

Where a spear my heart did glance;

There issued forth both water and blood,

To call my true love to my dance. Chorus

Then down to hell I took my way

For my true love's deliverance,

And rose again on the third day,

Up to my true love and the dance. Chorus

Then up to heaven I did ascend,

Where now I dwell in sure substance

On the right hand of God, that man

May come unto the general dance. Chorus

(written for St. Paul's by the English composer John Gardner)

Bits and pieces

The Christmas season is upon us, in a big way. The stores in Oslo were already decorated for Christmas in mid-November this year. My impression is that the Christmas season starts earlier with each year that passes. People need to have some ‘light’ in the midst of darkness; the sun sets earlier now and the darkness is like a smothering blanket at times. Luckily, we’ve had wonderful autumn weather this year, so it makes the drastic loss of light easier to bear. I attended the annual ‘customer evening’ in late November at my favorite department store in Oslo—Glasmagasinet; this is a gathering of (mostly) women who are VIP customers (those who spend a lot of money there during the year—like me!). It’s essentially a ploy to get us to spend even more money, by inviting us to share some tapas and wine on the store’s dime. Always an enjoyable evening and a good way to start my Christmas shopping. Glasmagasinet is a great store if you need to buy wedding and Christmas gifts. I shop at many other places, but Glasmagasinet has a special place in my heart, probably because it’s the first department store I walked into on my first trip to Oslo many years ago--December 1989 to be exact. The store, like Oslo, was decorated for Christmas and was very cozy. And despite its many changes during the past twenty-odd years, it still is a cozy store to wander around in. 

The stores in Oslo have also discovered ‘Black Friday’, and are marketing it for all it is worth, although the manic intensity of the American Black Friday will never be matched. They ‘celebrate’ it on the same day as in the USA, minus the holiday that precedes it though. I’m waiting for the Thanksgiving holiday to make its way into this culture. It would be fine with me, since the meaning of the holiday is not necessarily American in the sense of having a day to give thanks for the bounties and blessings that fill our lives. And since this country is filthy rich, it has a lot for which it should be thankful.

The nicest part of the day was my visit to a convent called Katarinahjemmet in Majorstua (an Oslo neighborhood), that was having a Christmas bake sale and bazaar. The reason for my visit was to spend some time with a young woman who works in my hospital department; she is in her mid-thirties and has decided to become a Dominican nun. Since we are both Catholic, she shared her decision to change her life with me some months ago, and was eager for me to visit what will be her new home as of January. She has quit her job at my hospital and will be starting as a novice at the convent in January. She was very glad that I visited her, and we agreed that I will visit again in January, and perhaps take a few co-workers with me, to get a tour of the convent and listen to a short talk about the founding of the convent and the daily lives of the nuns. Interestingly, the Nobel-prize winning Norwegian author Sigrid Undset, a Protestant who had converted to Catholicism, was instrumental in recruiting the Dominican nuns to Norway and in founding Katarinehjemmet. She was often a visitor to the convent and enjoyed being there. I must say that I too enjoyed being there; the convent has a nice air about it—bustling in some respects, but quiet and conducive to meditation as well.

On my walk back from the convent, I passed the building that formerly housed the Showtime video rental store where I used to rent DVDs; I wrote a post some months back about the closing of the store and how I would miss it. I still do. It is now an espresso café called Espresso House. I walked in, bought myself a cappuccino, sat down, and took a real good look around the place. I must say that they’ve done a good job at renovating the locale and creating an attractive coffee bar that is sure to become quite popular. It provides free wi-fi and plenty of seating. I look forward to just hanging out there for a few hours someday soon.

Finally, an update on Disqus and the impostor situation: I have notified Disqus and described the problem to them. They said that they would look at the situation. We will see what they aim to do about it. Frankly, I have little to no hope that anything will come of my complaint. What I have managed to do is to stop my impostor from commenting as rabidly as she or he had been doing before I found out that this charade was going on. That makes it easier for me to track her or his movements on the net. I have kept my cool so far and not gone ballistic. There would be little point in doing that anyway, even though I feel like behaving that way at times. Nothing will come of it. The world is such that one person does not matter an iota. One person’s problems do not matter an iota. And there are a huge number of people out there whose problems are life-threatening. Mine are not. So I have not lost my perspective about where my situation fits into the scheme of things overall. 

A beautiful song by Michael Kiwanuka--Tell Me A Tale

Here are the lyrics and video to one of my new favorite songs these days:

Tell Me A Tale

Tell me a tale that always was,

Sing me a song that I'll always be in,

Tell me a story that I can read,

Tell me a story that I believe.

Paint me a picture that I can see,

Give me a touch that I can feel,

Turn me around so I can be,

Everything I was meant to be.

Lord I need loving,

Lord I need good, good loving. [x2]

Show me some strength that I can use,

Give me a sound that I won't refuse,

Tell me story that I can read,

Tell me a story that I can believe

Tell me a tale that always was,

Sing me a song that I'll always be in,

Turn me around so I can be,

Everything I was meant to be.

Lord I need loving,

Lord I need good, good loving. [x4]

Songwriter(s): Paul James Butler, Michael Kiwanuka, Michael Samuel Kiwanuka

Copyright: Chrysalis Music Ltd., Warner/Chappell Music Publishing Ltd.

Education and Indoctrination---what Doris Lessing thought about them

Very interesting viewpoints from Doris Lessing, who passed away yesterday at the age of 94. Nobel Prize-winning novelist, short story writer, poet and playwright. Her 1988 book, The Fifth Child, was an unforgettable portrait of a family that ends up having to deal with a very unpleasant fifth child. It's a book that will stay with you for a long time afterward. 

“Ideally, what should be said to every child, repeatedly, throughout his or her school life is something like this: 'You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself — educating your own judgements. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society.”

― Doris Lessing, The Golden Notebook